My Body-His Marcello (15 page)

“
That’s still to come, Jane. You won’t get out of here so
easily.”

“
Oh,”
I said, looking away.

Marcello let go
of my face. “What did you think?”

“
It
doesn’t matter what I thought,” I said, crossing my arms over my
chest.

“
Janey—”

“
Please don’t call me that, Luke calls me that,” I said, on the
verge of tears.

“
Jane,
listen to me. There’s no reason for guilt.” He touched my shoulder
and tried to roll me over to face him.

“
Apparently, as it didn’t mean anything,” I said, not
budging.

“
Hold
on there—”

“
It
doesn’t matter, just do what you will.”

“
As I
always will. And if I choose to make love to you, I will. I
understand your guilt, but it’s entirely unnecessary. Luke is being
well taken care of as we speak.”

“
Just
leave me alone,” I said, rolling over on my side, away from
him.

“
As
la signorina
wishes, but don’t get used to it.”

“
You’ll be done with me in less than a day.”

“
You
will be back, make no mistake,” he said as he rose from the
bed.

“
Luke
is with someone else?” I said to his back.

He stopped and
circled around. “It seems to me you and Luke have a lot to discuss
when you leave here.”

“
At
least we agree on that,” I said, rolling away from him once
more.

“
At
least,” he repeated. He chuckled and added, “You’re going to be a
difficult one, I see, but I’ve always liked a
challenge.”

“
I’m
sure it will be difficult for you when you’re wrong for the first
time,” I said to the wall.

“
Are
you always this stubborn?”

“
Worse,” I said. I heard rustling in the drawers. The door
closed and I was alone.

I wish I could
say that all that happened over those three days gave me the very
wakeup call I needed, but that proved not to be the case. I lay
there on his bed, surrounded by his masculine fragrance. My
confused mind struggled to make sense of everything that had
happened. Would Luke and I survive it all? Had Marcello told me the
truth about Luke having another woman?

An old joke came
to mind as I lay there. “Doctor, doctor … every time I bang my
head against the wall I get a headache.” The Doc says, “Well then,
stop banging your head against the wall.” I knew I needed to stop
banging my head against my choices, my new lifestyle. I needed to
align myself with it or get out but couldn’t fathom how to do
either. What did I ultimately want? Could I ever be more like
Janice and just accept the choices that I had made? Another bit of
forgotten wisdom came back to me—Einstein’s definition of insanity:
doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different
results. That fit me to a tee. I knew it was crazy to make
decisions and then continue to second guess myself. What’s worse,
my craziness was self-imposed.

My father—my
stupid fucking father—had been known to say that there is ultimate
power in owning and taking responsibility for one’s choices. Very
funny, coming from a man who dodged responsibility of any kind. As
much as I despised him, I had to acknowledge the truth in those
words.

I couldn’t think
anymore. It felt as if my brain would implode if I allowed another
thought to surface. I crawled under the covers and hugged a
pillow.

I dreamt of the
vault again. This time I lay on the cot at the start of the dream.
Coldness encompassed me. The odd smell was even stronger this time.
I held my eyes wide open, searching for some shred of light. As I
was on the verge of giving up and going to sleep, the door cracked
open. Bright light flooded in, and I squinted, trying to make out
the figure that stood in the doorway.

“
Jane,
wake up,” Marcello said, pulling me out of the dream.

“
Have
I been sleeping long?” I said as I sat up, stretched my arms above
my head and flexed my legs.

“
Yes,
and I have more plans for us,” he said, standing over me in a
handsome blue button-down shirt and dark slacks.

“
Any
chance we can get the punishment out of the way now?” I
asked.

“
Those
matters are left to me but your request is duly noted.”

“
Okay,
so now what,” I said.

“
First
you freshen up,” he said, pulling me to my feet. He pushed me
toward the bathroom, swatting my butt with his open
hand.

“
Hey,”
I said, looking over my shoulder back at him.

“
Would
you care for another?” he said, taking a step toward me.

“
No,”
I said, gliding into the bathroom and shutting the door on him. I
laughed out loud.

“
I
heard that,” he said.

“
Good,” I said back.

I wondered who
had opened the door in my dream. Was it Luke or Janice or maybe
Marcello? I’m not sure what my mind figured out in my sleep, but I
decided that if Luke chose to spend our time apart enjoying another
woman, I wouldn’t punish myself for having a good time. I would
deal with him once I was back home. I left my guilt in the dream
world and decided to let it all go. I emptied my bladder, took a
quick shower and used the toothbrush left for me by the
sink.

“
Let’s
have lunch,” he said as I emerged from the bathroom.

“
Two
meals in one day? What’s the special occasion?” I said,
laughing.

He put his hands
on my shoulders and looked down. “It’s one thing for you to sass me
in private, but make no mistake—the cost for doing so in public is
incalculable.”

“
I
see, so you don’t want anyone else to know you’ve met your match?”
I said, putting my hands on my hips and staring back.

“
Clearly you need a spanking before we go.”

“
Are
we going somewhere?”

“
Yes,
but not until I instill some respect in you,” he said, but
smiled.

“
I
told you that respect—”

“
I
know, but we are going to try it my way first.”

He grabbed my
wrist off of my hip and held it behind my back. I felt like a
criminal being accosted by a cop. He forced me down on the bed with
my legs still on the ground. His aggression made me hot and
bothered almost instantly.

He continued to
hold me down with my right arm tightly across my back and used his
free hand to administer the promised spanking. From the very first
thwack I knew it would be more severe than any spanking Luke had
given me. Marcello’s fingers were thick and long and as he stood
over me he had plenty of room to get a good swing.

“
Oomph,” I said, groaning. The sting radiated out and
dissipated quickly.

“
I
expect the utmost respect while we are out,” he said in a grunt as
he struck me again.

Each successive
smack was harder and came faster. I began to squirm as the pain
increased.

“
Your
tolerance will grow once you’re mine, and you will crave more and
more.”

“
You’re hurting me,” I said as I struggled to get out of his
grasp.

“
I’m
much stronger than you, Jane. You cannot get away from me.” He
spanked me five more times.

The tears
threatened to spill but I wouldn’t give him the
satisfaction.

He continued to
hold me down and I could hear him using his other hand to undo his
pants. He finally let go of my arm and I slowly lowered it down to
the side of my body. My shoulder felt stiff and sore. He lifted my
hips off the bed and—in contrast to our earlier lovemaking—speared
me in one jab. I tried to swing away from his penetrating assault
but he held me fast.

“
You’re hurting me,” I said but just as I spoke my body gave me
away by sending an additional wave of wetness.

He laughed at my
protest. “Janice is so right about you.”

He continued to
pound into me. He kept a steady pace that increased my desire even
though I fought it. He reached down and started circling my clit.
At some point I just let go and the orgasms began. For the first
time in my life I experienced a series of orgasms that racked my
body with increasing intensity beyond my control. As I began to
convulse, Marcello increased his grip on me to keep me in
place.

“
Oh my
fucking god, oh yes, oh don’t stop ...” I moaned.

“
Oh
yes. Let it go,
il mio dolce
. The things I will do and make
you do once you are mine. You can’t even imagine. You are a sweet
fuck. I knew it that day you were strapped down on my cutting
table. I decided then. Make no mistake. You are mine, you just …
don’t … know it … yet ...”

“
Oh my
god, I’m cumming again, oh don’t stop, don’t stop ... Oh Luke,
don’t stop.”

Everything came
to a quick and abrupt halt and he pulled out.

“
Why
did you stop?” I said, looking back over my shoulder.

“
Don’t
say another word,” he said, I could feel the anger radiating from
him.

I tried to look
back at him as he roughly pushed me down, pressing my head into the
bed. I heard a drawer open and then he strapped my wrists together.
He attached a rope and tied it off tightly at the head of the bed.
Securing each ankle to the lower corners of the bed, he spread my
legs wide.

I shook with fear
and confusion. Janice had instilled in me the need to follow his
orders when he was angry so I kept my mouth shut, but I wanted to
know what had happened. I couldn’t fathom what I did
wrong.

“
You
will pay dearly for that error,” he said.

I heard a slight
whistle just before the first strike and then a clapping sound at
impact. It hurt with an intensity that surpassed anything I had
experienced. A ripple of nausea screamed through me.

“
Oh
please, no
...
” I
sobbed.

I was frantic
with terror. For the first time on this crazy journey I had
embarked on, I knew the intent was to hurt me, to cause me undue
bodily harm.

He struck me
again and I screamed, “Oh god, no, please no, I’m sorry, so sorry,
tell me what I did, I’ll make it up to you ... Please don’t.” I
knew I shouldn’t speak but I couldn’t help it.

“
Keep
speaking and giving me reason to prolong this,” he said.

I no longer
recognized his voice. I no longer recognized any facet of my
life.

He used his
instrument of destruction on my ass and thighs and I knew after the
first strike that the healing required would far outweigh Janice’s
first whipping. I thought of using the safe word but wouldn’t give
him the satisfaction.

He struck me five
times and then paused. Although I couldn’t see him in my bound
position, it felt as if his arm hung suspended in the air. The
silence was deafening as I waited for the next deliberately harsh
strike. “
Merda
,” he breathed out and then abruptly left the
room.

My breathing
began to settle down but my anger festered until it grew to
mountainous proportions. Would I ever be able to forgive Luke for
sending me to Marcello? Could I forgive myself for who I’d
become?

I heard the
bedroom door open. My ankles were freed first and then I could see
my rescuer as she came around the side of the bed. Janice untied my
wrists and I collapsed on the floor by the foot of the bed. My
lower body radiated pain.

I just lay there
in a stupor, all the emotions trapped in my throat. I wanted to
throw up my breakfast along with my recent life. I wanted to purge
myself of all of it.

Janice sat down
beside me and placed her arm around my shoulder. “It’s going to be
all right,” she said.

“
It’s
never going to be all right. Never again.”

“
I
know it feels that way right now but this, too, shall
pass.”

“
I
don’t even know what I did to anger him,” I said, raising my head
to look at her.

“
Here’s what I know,” Janice said, whispering. “He hadn’t
planned to discipline you until tonight. When he told me to come
and untie you he looked upset, even hurt. I’ve never seen him look
that way. You have no idea what you did?”

“
No,
none at all.”

“
Strange.”

“
More
like scary.”

“
You
need to get dressed,” she said and pointed to the bed where she had
laid out a colorful sundress and open-toed sandals.

“
I
don’t want to go out.”

“
You
don’t have a choice Jane,” she said. “On the plus side, you’ve
already suffered the worst of it. He won’t punish you again. I’m
sure he’ll have to deal with the wrath of Luke once he sees
you.”

“
Does
it look that bad?”

“
Go
see for yourself.” She held out her hand and helped me to my
feet.