My Big Nose and Other Natural Disasters (12 page)

"Sure." I sipped the watery limeade with not much tequila. "Mmm. Good."

"Naw, they're watery as hell." He pulled out a bottle from a beach bag. "That's why I borrowed this." He tilted his head at me. I nodded, happy that Megan wouldn't be around to make some totally hypocritical drinking comment.

The burn of the tequila in my throat made me gasp. "That's better."

We stood up as the ski boat roared closer to shore.

Tyler laughed. "Your face is so red. Want me to dunk you in the lake?" He tugged on my arm.

"No!" I squealed. "I'm not hot enough yet."

"Oh, you need to get hot?" He stood so close, the tie from his swim trunks poked my stomach. "How hot?" I felt his breath against my ear, smelled his coconut suntan lotion.

I somersaulted into the icy water.
Splash!
My chest constricted. The outline of Tyler and his red and blue swim trunks wavered above me like a mirage. I pushed out of the water and pulled myself back onto the dock.

"I'm so going to get you." I moved toward Tyler, tugging on his arm, but he dug his feet in.

Drew waved to us as the boat slowed to no-wake speed.

"No messing with the hair." Tyler didn't smile. "Why do you think I'm sitting here instead of in the boat?"

"Fair is fair."

"Don't, Jory." He gave me the Look. Had Megan taught him that?

I swung my hair, but it only smacked against my back in one wet rope. I lay down on my beach towel and closed my eyes, feeling massive quantities of freckles popping up on my mountain of a nose. Would he have let me throw him in if I looked better? He'd been so flirtatious, but all of a sudden it had stopped—like someone had pressed the off button. Maybe with my wet hair, I looked too disgusting to even acknowledge.

I heard the
glug-glug
of Tyler pouring more tequila into his cup and the sound of water lapping against the dock, but he didn't say a word to me. We lay like that while Drew and the others tied the boat to the dock.

"Jory! When did you get here?"

Megan. The traitor times ten. She hadn't said
anything
about coming up to the lake when she'd called Hannah!

"You should go out on the boat. It's so fun. You should've seen Finn and Luke. Major enema, right, guys?" Megan wrung out her long dark hair and let it fall back against her dark tan skin. Her eyes matched the lake, just like Tyler's.

"Megan's a total sport," Finn said. "I'm surprised she's friends with such a klutz." Finn kicked my thigh with his clammy foot.

"Why are you here?" I regretted my bitter tone. "I mean, I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Yeah." Megan adjusted her uncharacteristically skimpy bikini. "Tyler invited me."

Maybe it didn't mean anything. Maybe it was a coworker thing, not a dating thing.

"Hey, guys. Want to go kick the ball around before dinner?" Drew toweled off his hair.

I'd forgotten that Drew, Finn, and Luke all shared the soccer-geek passion. I snuck a peek at Luke's toned legs as he walked by; usually, Kayla Neal hung all over him, and I half expected her to rise out of the water like a mermaid.

Megan squeezed between Tyler and me; he watched the soccer geeks race up the path, not acknowledging Megan, but her leg touched his knee in a comfortable, familiar way.

"This is going to be so fun," she said. "I can't believe we get to stay the night and watch the fireworks and everything. This will be the best Fourth of July ever."

I gave her the Look, but she didn't take the hint. The Look probably requires a small nose. How could she flaunt her coziness with Tyler right in front of me? Hannah had told her that I
did
like Tyler. A lot.

"I know. I'm acting like a dork, but this is the most fun I've had all summer." She hugged her arms around her long, lean legs.

"What about your great job? And all your hilarious nicknames? And inside jokes?"

"I thought I'd get to work on real law cases, but I'm stuck making copies."

"Well, what about all those movies you've been seeing?" Or
not
seeing.

"That's mostly to add diversity to my résumé." She bumped Tyler with her elbow. "Should we tell her?"

"We snuck into an action flick during German-drama night." Tyler's voice sounded flat.

"It was so much fun! I felt totally rebellious. I never knew how good a car chase could be compared to a guy drinking himself to death." Megan laughed, and a blue jay answered back as if she were a Disney-movie princess.

"I'm going to go change," I said.

"I'll go with you." Tyler wobbled as he stood. "I need to drink more if my dad's going to insist on singing the national anthem like he usually does. But goddamnit, I'm not playing the piano."

"Guess I'm coming too." Megan folded her towel into a neat square.

When Megan and I got back to the sleeping porch, Kayla Neal lounged on a bunk bed, reading a gossip magazine and kicking her legs up behind her. Red-white-and-blue toenail polish.

"Hi, I'm Kayla. Luke's GF." She waggled her finger at me. "I know you! You're Finn's sister. He's such a sweetie. And you're Tyler's...?" she said to Megan.

"Yeah." Megan combed her hair.

Yeah?
What did that mean? Kayla hadn't asked a specific question. But the implication was definitely
girlfriend,
right? Had Megan and Tyler started dating officially? I glared at Megan for a few seconds, but she didn't look at me.

"The boys are out playing with their balls," Kayla said.

Megan laughed.

"What?" Kayla looked at us with Bambi eyes. "They're doing it on the grass out back."

I could see Megan biting her cheek. Hard. Not amused, I shuffled through my duffel. My clothes suddenly seemed so plain, plus I'd forgotten to bring anything warm to wear at night. Maybe I'd just stay inside and hide under the covers. No one would notice. I didn't need to impress anyone, right? Everyone was already taken; well, except for Drew, but he wasn't exactly into girls.

We endured dinner with the parents—including Mr. Briggs's worse than off-key rendition of the "Star-Spangled Banner" (Tyler
did
play piano)—before walking down to the beach to watch the fireworks. I wore my red mini with a white T-shirt, even though Drew teased me about wearing Wooster colors. Major soccer rival. Drew made me bring his blue Reno High sweatshirt in case I got cold. He and Finn talked about some Brazilian soccer goalie while Kayla publicly fondled Luke. Ah, the beautiful people. Tyler and Megan walked far behind us. Doing what? Kissing? More? A few minutes later, Megan stomped up next to me.

"Something wrong?" I didn't disguise my sarcasm.

Megan brushed under her eyes. Smeared mascara? Tears?

Tyler ran ahead of us, scooped Kayla—squealing—into his arms, and disappeared into the darkness. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"Meg. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Apparently, nothing. Always, nothing."

Drew brought a big beach blanket. I lay down next to Finn. Not quite the romantic vision I'd had. Current chance of dying a virgin: 98 percent.

Megan plopped down next to me, exhaling loudly but not saying anything. I imagined her giving the Look to the stars. Tyler sat next to Drew, while Luke walked around to the rocks with Kayla. Luke had a bit of a reputation, from what I'd overheard Finn and his friends say. Would anyone cute with half a personality ever want to take me to the rocks? Drew opened a cooler and handed me hard lemonade, but I refused it. I felt too confused already—as if someone had taken my life and flipped it over like a pineapple upside-down cake. Were Tyler and Megan together or not? Hannah sure thought they were, based on their phone conversation and the "vibe" Megan had given off in a recent text message. Whatever.

Soon fireworks flashed overhead—red, yellow, green bursts that reminded me of the volvox we'd studied in biology class. People all around me oohed and aahed. I kept looking over at Tyler, who stared straight ahead. Not at the sky. Not at the water. Just straight into the blackness. He guzzled from a flask.
Why does Tyler make me feel so insecure? Why do I let his actions make
me
feel ugly? Who needs all his drama anyway? Megan can have him.
Almost as if reading my thoughts, Megan sat up and glanced at Tyler. Then she lay back down with a huff. "He's a mere speckle in the vast quantities and qualities of males available to me," she said. "I'm done with him."

I thought maybe I was too.

DICKENSONS AND DOUGHNUTS

All the rustling around made it sound like raccoons had invaded the sleeping porch. Right after I crawled into bed, I overheard Kayla whispering to Luke, followed by some not-so-quiet kissing. What did it feel like kissing that mouth? I had watched him while we ate last night: those full lips, dark eyebrows, blond hair. He kept jiggling his amazing legs under the table at dinner. Once, he raised his eyebrows at me after Kayla had called the hot dogs
wieners
for the thousandth time. Megan had already spewed out her lemonade when Kayla told us her uncle Dick played ball with himself with a machine in his backyard. Megan made a nonsensical joke about potato chips and laughed at herself. Finn, Luke, Drew, and I laughed really hard too. Kayla was all "I don't get it, guys."
That
made us all laugh even harder, except Tyler.

Much later in the night, Tyler climbed down from his bunk and walked over to the other side of the room where Megan slept. I heard some whispering, but afterward Tyler ran down the stairs. By himself. Guess Megan really was over him. I lay awake for a long time, imagining running after Tyler in the moonlight.
Forget her,
I'd say.
You've always got me.
I tried to picture him embracing me the way people do in movies, but instead I kept seeing that cold, hard look he'd given me on the dock. I also kept hearing Megan say that he was a mere speckle in the vast quantities of men. But he was a speckle who paid attention to me. Sometimes.

I finally fell asleep, feeling sorry for myself because Luke liked Kayla just because she was pretty, and Tyler liked Megan partly because they had stuff in common, but mostly because she was pretty. No one liked me. Even Wooster Tom had never asked for my phone number.

I woke early in spite of a lousy night of sleep, happy to have the night end, while Megan, Kayla, and Drew snored on, looking as beautiful as hand-drawn Disney characters while I resembled Medusa with my snaking, snarled hair.

For a few minutes I watched a beam of sunlight cross the white ceiling. Hunger pangs grumbled in my stomach; one night of real food had awakened a monster inside me. When I slid out of bed, I noticed that Tyler hadn't come back. Or maybe he'd woken up early. I paused and asked myself if I really cared. Or was it just a habit? A bad habit.

I tiptoed into the big open kitchen. Luke sat at the table reading an ancient issue of
Sports Illustrated
and drinking a big glass of water.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Morning."

"Yeah, hi." I looked around at all the empty cups and glasses, the granite counter sticky with spilled margaritas. A big puddle of water on the floor showed where a bag of ice used to be. "Are you the only one awake?"

"Looks that way." He tipped his water back.

I opened a cupboard full of plastic cups. Where did they keep the cereal and pancake mix? Or bacon and eggs? My stomach rumbled as I opened the fridge, which was packed with beer and various mixers. No milk, no orange juice, though someone had stuck a plate of potato salad and a half-eaten hot dog on the top shelf.

"Don't bother looking for something to eat," Luke said. "Unless you want an old wiener." He laughed.

"This sucks." I slammed the fridge. "I'm starving."

"Tell me about it. I went on a run and I kept smelling people cooking bacon and my stomach hurt, and I thought I'd run back here and see one of the moms cooking in the kitchen. But then again, I've never really seen my mom eat much, and Mrs. Briggs looks like a skeleton, and Mrs. Dickenson and your mom—"

"Yeah, I know."

Luke put down the magazine. "Hey, I do know a place that makes killer doughnuts." He raised his eyebrows at me. "We could be total heroes to the hungry."

"Anything besides, you know—"

"Wieners?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

Luke snuck downstairs to grab his mom's keys while I ran and changed into a pair of shorts. As I braided my hair on the way down the stairs, I noticed Tyler sleeping on the sofa in the living room, but I followed Luke out to the green Lexus. License plate:
socmom.

Luke rolled down the windows and blasted the White Stripes.

"Do you like these guys?" he asked.

"Sure."
Oh, yeah. I'm such the conversationalist.

I liked it that people in the doughnut shop looked at us as if we were a couple. I saw one girl do a double take at Luke, then glare at me. My new nose would have to get used to this, I thought.

"Nice," Luke said after I ordered plain doughnuts. "My favorites. Okay, we better add some with pink sprinkles for Kayla, and Megan probably likes a classic, like a glazed, right? Our dads will all need something heavy, like bear claws."

"You sure know your doughnut personalities."

"My specialty." He raised his eyebrows. Twice.

We left with two dozen doughnuts and a cup of coffee for each of us.

"I'm not usually into caffeine," he said. "But I couldn't get to sleep last night."

"I heard."

Luke blushed. "I told her."

"It's no big deal. You guys are a real cute couple."

"Still, it's not cool to—" Luke turned the music up even louder and started beating out the rhythm on the steering wheel. I watched the lake sparkle with sunshine between the trees.

"Does the water look good for skiing?" Luke asked.

"I guess so."
Why can't I think of
anything
to say? No wonder no one is falling in love with my mind. I'm so boring.

Megan was pacing on the front porch when we got back. Luke handed her the box of doughnuts and ran up to the sleeping porch, two steps at a time. "So, when were you planning on heading back to town?" Megan set the doughnuts on the kitchen counter.