My Big Fat Gay Life (56 page)

Sebastian’s Fag Stag

What do you call a man with a one inch penis? Just-in. Once, when they were teenagers and had far too much to drink, Sebastian sucked Justin's cock: Sebastian knows how apt that joke is.

Justin Todd has been Sebastian's best friend since they started school together. Justin was the first person that Sebastian confessed his confusion over his sexuality to, and Justin just took it in his stride. Justin has been supportive and understanding ever since, but this is due to Sebastian's non-gay lifestyle. If Sebastian were more like Kento, Justin and Sebastian would have split off into their own tangents a long time ago.

Sebastian didn't accept Justin's naturism as readily as Justin accepted his homosexuality. Granted, Justin didn't make a big issue out of it. He didn't make an announcement or tell anybody. He just stopped wearing clothes after he moved out of the family home. It took Sebastian months to stop blushing and looking away when Justin was nude around him.

With his good looks and toned body, Justin has always been popular with the ladies. When he settled down with Ruth many a heart were broken - including some male ones. Justin is kind, sensitive, and considerate, but you have to get to know him before you see those qualities. To the world at large, he presents a macho, almost insensitive, persona.

Sebastian’s Fag Hag

Every gay man needs a fag hag who loves him unconditionally, and Ruth is Sebastian's. Whether he needs some retail therapy or a day at the spa, she's available for him at a moment's notice.

Ruth originally met Sebastian as one of his clients. She hadn't left her house in two and a half years, so Sebastian did house calls and webcam sessions with her for six months. Once she was able to leave the house and stopped seeing Sebastian as a client, they struck up a strong friendship. Sebastian introduced Ruth to his old school friend, Justin, and it was love at first sight.

Since she has found true love, Ruth's decided that Sebastian should too. She's constantly setting him up on a string of blind dates, and is determined that he will find love too. Sebastian is resigned to her interference, and adores her unreservedly.

Sebastian’s BFF and XFB

Kento Black is Sebastian's best friend forever (BFF) and ex-fuckbuddy (XFB). They're much closer as friends than they ever were as lovers.

Being a total gym bunny, Kento is a muscle mary with an overly muscled physique, a surprisingly high-pitched voice, and small testicles. He believes that muscles are for show, and therefore only concentrates on his biceps and pecs. Truth be told, he gets enough exercise for his legs just by throwing them in the air.

Kento is gay, in all senses of the word. His lifestyle is gay, his friends are gay, and he only shops at businesses in the gay village. He lives for Canal Street, gay pride marches, does drugs recreationally, and hates women. Sebastian may be a psychiatrist, but luckily for Kento, Sebastian refuses to analyse or try to help his friends.

Kento is a totally versatile and totally lazy slut. He's a starfish: he just lies there and expects everything to be done to him or for him. This is just a small symptom of his bigger issue though: selfishness. This is why he and Sebastian are no longer lovers.

Sebastian’s Client

Tony Williams presented himself as 'Frank' at Rainbow's End, the gay outreach centre where Sebastian works. He's totally reluctant to do so, but he was at his wit's end.

'Frank' ran away from home and became a street kid. He became addicted to heroin and started selling his body just to afford his next hit. Without a roof over his head or food in his stomach, all he cared about was the next high. After a bad experience with a punter, he realised he needed help digging himself out of the hole he had gotten himself into.

Tony is sixteen years old, and a sweet child who could potentially offer a lot to the world - if only he can sort himself out. Sebastian is assigned as his counsellor at Rainbow's End, and Tony reluctantly grows to trust him.

Sebastian’s Mother

Although she refuses to accept she’s old enough to have a son in his early-30s, Patricia Heldon-Parker is Sebastian's Mother. She's brash, rude, annoying, arrogant, and opinionated: and those are her good points. She's also blunt, manipulative, and fiercely protective of her family.

Patricia is in her late 50s, although she appears to be in her early 40s due to regular 'preventative' facelifts. In company, she prefers Sebastian call her by her first name so that other people don't realise she's his mother. She loves sex, and isn't afraid to talk about it.

Due to the fact that both she and her husband are psychiatrists, Patricia was the driving force (read: nagger) behind Sebastian becoming a psychiatrist. She figured that if he was going to be gay, he should at least be a well-educated and respected gay man. Patricia feigns indifference to her son's sexuality, but privately she's very accepting of it.

Sebastian’s Father

Donovan Parker is in his early 60s. He is proud of his gay son, and is an active member of PFLAG. In the psychiatric community, Donovan feels his total acceptance of his gay son gives him kudos for his open mindedness, and has enhanced his reputation immeasurably.

Dry and sarcastic, it is often difficult to tell when Donovan is joking. During sessions with his clients, Donovan is totally professional. Once he sets foot outside his clinic, Donovan is a totally different person however.

Donovan loves sex as much as his wife does, although these days he sometimes requires the assistance of some little blue pills. Of course, he only needs that assistance when he's actually having sex with his wife: with anyone else he can quite happily perform without the aid of the little blue pill.

Sebastian’s Stalker

Bruce is from New York City, USA, and is in the UK illegally. He’s also desperate to stay. After a one-night stand with Sebastian, he convinces himself that Sebastian is the man for him, and also his ticket to obtaining a UK visa.

Stalking Sebastian is Bruce's only past-time. If he can learn Sebastian's routine, maybe he can insinuate himself into it. Sebastian is too nice and trusting, and he doesn't see the disaster looming if Bruce is allowed into his life.

Sebastian’s Boss

Quentin is Sebastian's Boss at Rainbow's End, the gay outreach centre where they both work. Quentin constantly hits on Sebastian, but this doesn’t faze Sebastian at all - Quentin hits on anything with a dick.

Quentin is a dirty, lecherous, ageing man with a permanent orange fake tan, a filthy mind, and a disgusting sense of humour. But he has a good heart and genuinely cares for all the clients who pass through Rainbow's End, so Sebastian grudgingly respects him for this.