My Big Fat Demon Slayer Wedding (21 page)

“She needs armor on her wedding night?” Hillary asked.

“Why not?” I asked. It might not go with the sexy little outfit I’d bought, but we’d improvise.

When it was all said and done, I’d unwrapped two wing pieces, a breastplate, a collar (for wedding night fun, according to Ophelia), and a set of bronze tipped spikes for my front and back claws.
 

Hillary may have leaned on Diana once or twice for support, but she remained remarkably composed. Go Mom.

Dimitri, on the other hand, stalked behind me like a caged beast.

On the way to handing me another gift, his sister Dyonne knocked him with her elbow. “Do you mind? You’re making everyone nervous.”

“You could have fooled me,” he said, alert as he surveyed the room. It was true. While we definitely had two camps:
 
the bikers and the Greeks, they seemed remarkably at ease, given what had gone down with the wedding dress.

Then again, they didn’t know everything else that was happening in the house, or even among themselves.

Melody, the Red Skull’s new head of weapons stood. “Now this is more like it,” she said, as Diana handed me a canvas, bedazzled Wal-Mart bag. Glass clinked inside.

Dimitri glared at the witch with the spiky black velvet choker. He seemed ready to strike as I drew out a recycled Smuckers jar filled with a brackish green liquid.
 

“Protection,” she said, “for your wedding night.”

The biker witches laughed, and I wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.

“Toss it at anything that attacks you,” she said, quite serious. “It’s set to stun.”

“Thanks,” I said, well aware that this was the first gift I’d gotten that I could actually use.
 

The next jar was full of a pinkish sludge with bits of leaves and flower petals stuck in it.
 

“Ahhh,” the witches murmured.

“What is this?” I asked, detecting a faint smell of turpentine.

Flava, a skinny witch in a black miniskirt, crossed her legs and grinned at me. “Dab a little behind each ear whenever you want to get him in the mood,” she said, winking. “Works like a charm.”

The biker witches guffawed. I glanced up at Dimitri, who didn’t appear too enthused.

But you know what? This was nice. I opened a Tie Him Up spell, a Tie Him Down spell, some lavender bubble bath.
 

Everyone who could be here was together. I was receiving some interesting, well-intentioned gifts, and so far, nobody had tried to kill me.
 

It was a good party.

The gift table was almost empty when my mom handed me an envelope. “I’m glad you’re here for this, too,” she said, patting Dimitri on the shoulder.
 

He might be man-of-stone, but I couldn’t help getting choked up a bit when I opened the simple, cut-out-card of a bride and groom and found the deed to a condominium by the shore.

“Mom, this is too much.” It was off the California coast, near where we were staying with the witches. Only it was our own place. Tears flooded my eyes as I reached for her, wrapping her in a tight hug. She exhaled, holding me close.
 

“I only want what’s best for you, honey.”

“But you said…” She’d wanted me to move back and be somebody else and live in Atlanta, and I couldn’t do that.
 

“I changed my mind,” she said, simply. “You changed it.” She glanced up at Dimitri. “I hope this is okay.”

“It’s perfect,” he said, smiling down at her. “Thank you.”

“We’ll have to ward it,” Melody said.

Yes, well she was the weapons expert. But that was a technicality. Yes, we’d make sure it was safe, and yes, we’d make it our own once we were back from the honeymoon. That’s not what made it so special. It was the fact that my mom bought it for
us
.

“Your father still has to sign the papers, but he gets in tomorrow,” mom said.
 

“So you did this last minute,” I said. Of course she did. She never would have considered something like this even a week ago.

She gave a small shrug and seemed to grow embarrassed. “Now,” she said, moving over to the gift table, “let’s see what else we have for you.”

“I’ve already gotten so much,” I said. It was the truth.

Mom smiled and I could see she was genuinely having a good time. “This one is so pretty,” she said, handing me a pink wrapped box with tiny doves on top.

Dimitri tensed as I opened the white silk ribbon and tore through the paper. I hadn’t even touched the lid of the box before it flew open. Mom shrieked. Dimitri roared as countless shards of God-knows-what hurled straight for my face.
 

He leapt in front of me, taking the brunt of the blast as we both rocketed backward.

“Curses!” Melody screamed, as spell jars broke and griffins bellowed.
 

I shoved Dimitri off me as the curses shot to the ceiling like demented wasps. I cut through them with a switch star as a swarm dive-bombed me.

Chaos erupted. Dimitri was down, bloodied. I stood in front of him, taking out as many as I could before he grabbed my legs and took me down, rolling me under his body as another wave struck.

“God damn it,” I pounded against his chest. I needed to fight. I rolled him, forcing him onto his back, which scared the hell out of me because the only way I could pull that off is if he were really hurt.

But I needed to move, to think. Curses came from the underworld. They’d either kill you or take you straight to hell. I didn’t know what kind we had on our hands, but I didn’t want to find out.

The fact that Dimitri was still, here, among the living mean that these things were meant for me.

A demon wanted me.
 

Well, screw that. I hit the curses again. And again. Taking some out, leaving far, far too many.
 

My eyes stung from spell dust, and griffin magic, and the sheer power glut in the room. But nothing we’d done so far had destroyed enough of these things to make a difference.

One of them could end me.

They gathered at the ceiling, ready to strike again. There was no way I could get out, nowhere to go. Not without leaving my friends and family behind. Besides, these things would catch me, and I wasn’t about to be nailed in the back.

The third wave descended.

Dimitri tried to stand. I deliberately stepped away from him, toward
them
, and readied myself for the attack.

Chapter Nineteen

I ran for my wedding gifts. The griffin armor lay in a pile under gift bags and spell jars. Curses whistled through the air behind me as I heaved a piece of bronze wing armor from under the mess and forced it in front of me like a shield. I held tight to the inside buckles, the metal digging into my skin when the blunt force of multiple curses slammed against it.

They threw me back, knocked me onto my side. I curled my legs underneath and clutched the armor in front of me like my life depended on it. Because it did.

Curses sprayed like a hail of machine gun fire. Then, abruptly, the attack ended.

A suffocating stench clouded the air and the silence that accompanied it was almost as scary as the flying curses. My mouth felt dry, and my arms were weak and shaking.
 

“Lizzie?” My mom was the first to reach me, crawling on her hands and knees, her white pants suit stained with soot, the pink rose dangling lifelessly. “Are you all right, baby?”

“Hold up.” Slowly, I lowered my shield. I drew a switch star for good measure, but there was nothing left to attack. The curses lay imbedded in the griffin armor, dead.
 

The room reeked of magic, and I saw spots for a second as the witches and the griffins collected themselves off the floor. I crawled over to Dimitri, who looked like hell.

The curses had sliced his face and arms. His shirt was a total loss, and he had one hand over his left shoulder.
 

“Give me a second,” he said, laying on his back, recovering.

I hovered over him, tried to remove his hand from his shoulder. “Can I see it?”

“No,” he said, resisting.
 

Men.
 

I ran my fingers through his hair, which was probably the only part of his body that didn’t hurt. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I said, hoping I was right, infinitely grateful he’d stayed for the shower. He’d saved my life. Again.

My mom joined me. “Oh, my,” she said, looking down at him. “I think I have some Band-Aids upstairs.”

He shot her a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding glance, but didn’t answer.

I stood and helped mom to her feet, Diana as well. The griffins and witches were all starting to recover—more or less. At least no one appeared seriously injured. I wasn’t feeling too steady myself, when Mom pounced on me with a surprise embrace.
 

She managed to catch me on the side. “You have an awful, awful job,” she sniffed against my shoulder.

“It’s not usually this bad,” I lied. I hated that she had to see this.

She pulled back. “Someone wants to kill you!”

I couldn’t argue with her there. It happened more often than I cared to admit.
 

 
Melody was over opening windows. I was glad to see Dimitri had decided to sit up. That’s when Frieda burst in the room.
 

“Sweet Jesus!” The blond biker witch spun on her heel. “I knew it.” She turned to holler at someone behind her. “Get in here! I told you I smelled magic.”
 

Ant Eater swore under her breath when she saw the mess.

She side-stepped Frieda as the other witch began helping people into chairs. “You can’t hear a thing inside this latest Cave of Visions,” Frieda muttered to herself.
 

Ant Eater was more interested in me. “What happened?”

“Demonic attack,” I said, lifting the shield from the ground. There had to be at least five dozen tiny curses embedded in the bronze shield, any one of which could have pierced my flesh.

The gold-toothed witch inspected the mess. “Those are the poison kind.”

“How can you tell?” Dimitri asked, staggering over to join us.
 

“They have tails that curl back, like a scorpion,” Ant Eater said, tracing the spine of one with a lime green polished nail. “That’s how they sting you.”

“Damn.” He shook his head. “I didn’t get a good look at them. I was trying to—”

“Dive in front of them,” I said, finishing his thought.
 

He at least had the courtesy to look properly chastened. “I was betting they didn’t want me.”

“That’s a big bet.” One that could have left me without a fiancé. “I’m glad it worked out.”

He shook his head. “You and me both.”

Someone wanted me bad.
 

Ant Eater shook her head. “I’ll let your Grandma Gertie know.”

“They were in the pink box with the doves.” I glanced at my mom. “Did you see who put that one in the pile?”

Her eyes were wide as she shook her head, ‘no.’ I wasn’t surprised. The person who wanted me dead wasn’t stupid, just determined.
 

Dimitri hefted the armor from me as the griffins gathered around it. Griffins were known for their loyalty, as well as their strong and ancient protective magic. I was incredibly grateful for both.

Ophelia led the pack, clucking over the damaged armor. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I am so very glad you could use your wedding gift.”

I supposed that was the ultimate goal.

She ran a hand over the damaged bronze, careful not to touch the curses. “Do not worry, momo. We will fix this up so you can wear it on your wedding night.”

“Thanks,” I said, not about to argue.

Dimitri stumbled backward, and it took both Diana and Dyonne to keep him upright. Darn it. He was hurt worse than we’d thought. His shoulder was bloody and he looked pale. Ophelia rushed to him and placed the back of her hand on his forehead. “Those vile creatures did not waste their stingers on you, but it seems they robbed some of your energy. It’s best you rest.”

Dimitri locked eyes with me.
 

“I’m not going to do anything risky without you,” I said quickly.
 

“Famous last words,” he answered, without a trace of humor. Okay, so he had too much experience dealing with me.

“I know I need you,” I added. “At full strength.”

I smoothed back his hair and went to give him a sweet kiss on the forehead. He dipped his head and countered with a blazing kiss that rocketed through me.
 

It was exactly what I needed after the horror of the evening. All too soon, he broke away with a saucy grin. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Too late,” I muttered to myself, he walked up to his room, on his own power.

This entire week had been a mistake. I never should have placed everyone I loved in one location. It was easy pickings for a demon. I didn’t know what I was thinking.

That was the problem. I wasn’t thinking. Instead, I was trying to have a normal life, to pretend I wasn’t charged with killing the spawn of Satan. Now it had come back to bite me. I was the Demon Slayer of Dalea, whether I liked it or not. There were some luxuries I simply couldn’t afford anymore.

My mom let out a gasp behind us, and we all turned. But it wasn’t another attack. She drew a silk dress mannequin upright and about cried when she saw what remained of the wedding dress she’d displayed—her dress. The skirt was ripped down the middle. It had burn marks from the battle. Glass from several spell jars had ripped holes through the delicate fabric.

“It’s ruined,” she sobbed.

“I’m sorry, mom,” I said. Even though I never would have worn that dress, I hadn’t wanted it to end like this.

Mom nodded, wiping at her tears. “If this is the worst that happened…” she trailed off, unable to say anymore.

I knew. We all did.

Frieda stood with her hands on her hips, surveying the mess. “Now we really need to go into the Cave of Visions.”
 

It appeared as if she’d been working hard on it. Her lemon yellow jeans were dirty at the knees and she wore her hair tied back in a scarf.