Authors: Mike Resnick
"What is it?" he asked.
"Your friend Pampas found Crewman, or maybe it's Crewthing, Kjnniss, from Jasmine III, stealing the makings for a powerful hallucinogen from the science lab."
"So I was right."
"Let me finish. Sergeant Pampas, doubtless acting upon and misinterpreting your orders, beat Kjnniss to within an inch of his life. Kjnniss is now on its way to the infirmary, where the first thing they'll probably do is hook it up to a bunch of the drugs it would have stolen if it'd had the opportunity."
"I'd have done the same thing," said Cole. "Or at least I'd have tried to. I have a feeling he's about ten times better at it than I am."
"Anyway, I'm putting Pampas under arrest and confining him to his quarters," said Sharon. "I assume you'll be willing to defend him if charges are brought?"
"Yeah. I'll get over to his room sometime before blue shift and hear his side of the story."
"And if and when Kjnniss wakes up, you can get
its
version of the incident."
"Why bother? If it tells the truth, it's guilty—and if it lies, you can add perjury to the report."
"Just the same, it's innocent until proven guilty."
"So check the security disks and he won't be innocent any longer."
"How did a sensible man like you ever rise above the rank of yeoman?"
"I have friends in low places."
He broke the connection and was preparing to visit Pampas when the yellow-alert siren sounded again.
"I wonder what the hell it is this time?" he said in bored tones. "Probably Rachel's replacement identified a meteor storm as the Teroni fleet."
Then Podok's image and voice appeared throughout the ship. "We have a confirmed sighting on a Teroni ship. Be prepared to go to your battle stations should the alert level be raised to red."
"I'd better get back to work, just in case," said Sharon. Her image Studied him. "What about you?"
"No red alert, no battle stations," replied Cole. "It's still white shift. This is Podok's crisis, not mine; let her solve it." He paused, then walked to the door. "On the other hand, there's no crisis so bad that truly incompetent command decisions can't make it worse. Maybe I'll go see what's happening."
Cole decided that Podok wouldn't welcome his intrusion in the first few minutes after the sighting of the Teroni ship, and since the yellow alert hadn't repeated or been elevated to red, he stopped to visit Pampas on the way.
"I don't know if you're allowed in here, sir," said Pampas as he entered.
"I know the regulations," replied Cole. "You can't leave, but there's nothing that says you can't have visitors."
"Captain Podok's not going to like that, sir."
"Captain Podok is a stickler for the rules, and I happen to be obeying them to the letter." He paused. "How are you holding up?"
"Pretty good, sir," replied Pampas. "I'm feeling useless, though. Especially the last half hour. What were all those yellow alarms?"
"The first one was a mistake," answered Cole. "The second probably wasn't. Evidently we've sighted a Teroni ship."
"Who made the mistake?" asked Pampas. "Captain Podok, I hope?"
"Captain Podok doesn't make that kind of mistake," answered Cole. "No, it was Rachel Marcos. She's been confined to quarters." Suddenly he smiled. "Hell, damned near everyone I like on this ship has been locked away."
"I don't hold it against you, sir," said Pampas. "It's time we cleaned up this ship, and that starts with the crew."
"I know—but you did put that guy in the infirmary," noted Cole.
"He was putting himself there with all those seeds, sir," replied Pampas. "I just sped him on his way."
Cole chuckled in amusement. "Is there anything you need, anything I can bring you?"
"No, sir. They're feeding me fine, and I've got the ship's whole library at my disposal."
"Another reader? I'm impressed."
"No, sir," said Pampas. "I pull up entertainments, mostly holo-dramas."
"Ah, well, as long as they keep you happy."
"I'd be a lot happier back at my gunnery station, where I could feel I was doing something useful, sir."
"I know," replied Cole sympathetically. "I'll do what I can to get you out of here—and of course if they sound a red alert, I figure that supercedes all minor punishments. The second you hear it, get the hell out of here and go directly to your battle station."
"You mean it?"
"Yes, I mean it," said Cole. "I for one would like to know that our weaponry is functional, and you probably know ten times as much about our cannons and our other stuff as whoever Four Eyes is training right now."
"What about my gunnery mates, sir?" asked Pampas. "How are they doing?"
"Kudop's still in a coma from chewing one seed too many, and since the doctor is a Bedalian whose entire experience with Polonoi has been limited to this ship, I would guess he's going to stay asleep for quite some time."
"And Solaniss?"
"Believe it or not, he's been rotated to Maintenance," answered Cole. "I tried to explain to Podok that we're shorthanded and we need him in Gunnery, but you know her—if the schedule says he has to rotate to Maintenance, then that's where he's going to go." He paused. "I know there was a fourth gunnery technician, but I haven't met him yet."
"Her," Pampas corrected him.
"Human?"
Pampas shook his head. "An Orovite."
"I don't believe I ever saw one."
"She looks kind of like an ugly Soporian."
"Never saw one of those, either."
"I thought you'd been all over the galaxy, sir," said Pampas.
"Yes, I have," acknowledged Cole. "But usually on the inside of a ship. You'd be surprised how many races you don't meet if you don't touch down."
Pampas chuckled. "Yeah, I see your point, sir."
"Well, I'd better be going," said Cole. "I'll make it my business to look in on you at least once a day. If you need anything, just say so aloud."
"In an empty room?"
"Colonel Blacksmith or one of her subordinates will be monitoring you. They'll also monitor every other square centimeter on the ship, so they may not get back to you immediately—but before too long their equipment will tell them that there was someone talking in your room, even if it was just you saying you wanted a beer, and they'll do what they can for you." Suddenly he raised his voice. "Am I right?"
"Yes, sir," said a male voice that seemed to suddenly materialize high in a corner of the room. "And you don't have to yell."
"They've got a lot of things and people to watch, so don't abuse the privilege," Cole warned Pampas. "But remember it's there if you need it."
"Thank you, sir," said Pampas.
"See you tomorrow," said Cole, walking back out into the corridor.
He considered dropping in on Rachel Marcos, but decided against it. He hated tears, and he was sure she was still crying copiously. He simply didn't want to deal with her supplications or, worse yet, her advances. Instead he stepped out at the mess hall and ordered her the richest dessert on the menu, then found a yeoman who was just lounging around and had him take it to her.
Then it was finally time, he decided, to go up to the bridge. Not that he couldn't observe the Teroni ship just as well from any of two dozen screens scattered around the ship, or on his own computer for that matter—but he was less concerned with the ship than with Podok's reaction to it. The one time he'd seen her in anything resembling a crisis, back in the Phoenix Cluster, her responses had not inspired much confidence in him.
He took the airlift up to the bridge, stood well back for a few moments to make sure everyone was behaving calmly, and then stepped forward.
"Request permission to come aboard the bridge, Captain," he said, remembering to salute when she turned to face him.
"Permission granted."
"Thank you, Captain," he said.
"Why are you here, Mr. Cole?" she asked. "It is still white shift."
"I thought you might enlighten me as to your intentions concerning the Teroni ship, Captain," said Cole. "I really should know if we've hailed it, warned it off, shot at it, or ignored it before blue shift begins."
"That is reasonable," agreed Podok.
"May I first inquire as to the nature of the Teroni ship?" asked Cole.
"It is class Zeta Tau ship, probably built on Tambo IV, and the design places its age at between eight and seventeen years. It carries laser weapons, though this one seems to be retrofitted with at least one pulse cannon was well."
"I assume we've been tracking it?"
"Of course."
"Has it gone anywhere near Benidos II or New Argentina?" asked Cole.
"No," answered Podok. "It seems to be traversing a most irregular route."
"It's looking for them."
"For Benidos II and New Argentina?" said Podok. "They're on every star chart."
"I meant that it's looking for the fuel depots," explained Cole.
"I doubt it. It hasn't come close to them."
"It may not have to," he answered. "It might have the technology to sense the depots from light-years away."
"That is preposterous."
"Perhaps," said Cole. "But once upon a time both your race and mine thought flying just a few feet above the ground was preposterous."
"Do you know for a fact that such technology as you referred to exists?"
"No," he admitted. "And by the same token, I don't know for a fact that it doesn't."
"Then the sole purpose of this exchange seems to be for you to confess your total ignorance of the subject," said Podok.
You may be rigid
, he thought while fighting back a smile of admiration,
but you're not stupid, I'll give you that.
"I apologize, Captain," he said.
"Accepted."
"May I ask again what you intend to do about the Teroni ship?"
"Observe it," said Podok.
"Just observe it?"
"Yes."
"Nothing else?"
"Nothing else," replied Podok.
"May I speak frankly, Captain?"
"I cannot remember you ever speaking other than frankly, Mr. Cole."
"I think you're making a mistake."
"In what way?"
"I think we should blow that ship to pieces while we have the chance."
"My orders do not specify engaging enemy ships in battle," replied Podok. "The
Theodore Roosevelt's,
sole mission in the Cassius Cluster is to make sure the Teroni Federation's Fifth Fleet does not have access to the fuel depots on Benidos II and New Argentina, and that is what we shall do."
"I understand that, Captain," said Cole. "But—"
"If you understand it," she interrupted, "why do you keep disagreeing? Those are our orders. We will obey them."
"That's obviously a scout ship," said Cole. "They're not going to send their fleet, or any substantial part of it, to the Cassius Cluster until they know where the fuel depots are. If you let it locate the depots, you're inviting the very situation we're here to prevent."
"And what if the ship is here for some other purpose?" asked Podok.
"We're still at war," said Cole. "You have every right to attack it."
"I will tell you one more time: My mission orders say nothing about attacking Teroni ships. We are here solely to make sure that they do not appropriate fuel from Benidos II and New Argentina. Is that finally clear to you, Mr. Cole?"
"I understand your orders, Captain," said Cole. "But I think you can safeguard those depots better by destroying this advance scout before it finds them and reports back to the rest of the Fifth Fleet."
"That presupposes that this
is
a scout ship," said Podok. "You have no credible evidence to make that assumption, and even if you are right, I have no intention of disobeying my orders. This conversation is ended, Mr. Cole. Now please remove yourself from the bridge until blue shift."
"Yes, Captain," he said, saluting and heading back to the airlift.
Instead of going back to his room or to the mess hall, he stormed directly down to Security.
"Did you hear her?" he demanded as he walked into Sharon Blacksmith's office.
"Yes, I did," responded Sharon. "You're lucky we don't put people in irons anymore. She doesn't like being contradicted—and you did more than that. You as much as told her she's endangering our mission by following her orders."
"Well, she is, damn it!" snapped Cole. "You saw the readout on that Teroni ship! It's a military ship, any idiot can see that. It's fast, it's not well armed, and it isn't touching down on any planet. What the hell else could it be doing here but looking for the fuel depots?"
"Do you feel better now?" asked Sharon. "Or would you rather hit me now that you're through yelling at me?"
"I'm sorry," said Cole, still visibly agitated. "But Jesus Christ, can't she see what's going to happen if she doesn't take out that scout ship? Sooner or later it's going to locate the fuel depots, and then we're going to be faced with a force we
can't
take out."
"Maybe it won't find them."
"If they sent it here, it has whatever equipment it needs to find them," said Cole. "Even Fujiama would have seen that. Why can't she?"
"You're intuitive. She's literal."
"It doesn't take intuition to see the situation and figure out what's going to happen. A literal mind ought to see it just as clearly. I don't understand her."
"You'd better learn to," said Sharon. "She's the Captain now."
"Yeah," said Cole bitterly, "and she's going to be the Captain when two hundred ships of the Fifth Teroni Fleet show up in two days or two weeks or two months and head straight for the fuel depots. Then what? If you follow her reasoning to its logical conclusion, the only time we can use our weapons is when we're so outnumbered that it won't matter."