Music of the Soul (14 page)

her to bed.”

She smiled as she peeked at her phone. “It’s AJ. He wondered where I was. They’re upstairs in

the surgical waiting room.” She rose up and tucked her phone back in her jean’s pocket. Then she

held out her hand. “Come on. Let’s go.”

I grimaced. “I dunno if that is such a good idea.”

“You don’t need to be alone right now, Jake. We’re your family.” When I started to protest, she

shook her head. “AJ loves you. He’s had some time to cool down. Just tell him you’re sorry, and I’m

sure everything will be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.”

She cocked her head at me and smiled. “Don’t you know by now that we Runaway Train women

are always right?”

I laughed. “Yeah, I think I do.” I rose off the bench and then followed her out the door to the

elevators. When we walked through the door of the surgical waiting room, AJ’s eyes bulged at the

sight of us. He glanced from me to Mia and threw her a questioning glance.

“Everything is fine,” she assured him.

While he nodded his head, he still stood up and came over to wrap his arm around Mia’s waist

protectively. After raking my hand through my hair, I sighed. “Sorry, man. What I said was so fucking

wrong. I’ve apologized to Mia, and she accepted it. I hope you can, too.”

His dark brows furrowed while he surveyed my words. “Don’t ever go there again. I don’t care

what’s going on in your life—I’ll end you, I swear.”

“If I ever do such a douche thing again, you have my permission.” I took a tentative step

forward. “You’re my best friend in the whole world. I never, ever want to hurt you or anyone you

love. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said. With a tentative smile, he gave me a hug.

“Mr. Slater?” a voice questioned.

AJ released me, so I could whirl around. I stared questioningly at the young male doctor in the

doorway. “Yeah?” I croaked, my heart shuddering to a stop.

He smiled. “Your wife came through the surgery just fine. We were able to stop the

hemorrhaging, and the removal of the tube and ovary went well. She’s in recovery, and you can come

and see her in a few minutes.”

I closed my eyes and staggered back until AJ caught me. “Thank God,” I murmured. Once I could

breathe regularly again, I pulled away from AJ. I stared around the group of my band mates and

Abby’s brothers. “Thank you all for being here. For loving me and Abby so much.” I couldn’t fight the

tears anymore, and I broke down. AJ’s arms came around me as well as Brayden and Rhys’s. They

didn’t tell me to man-up or call me out for being a pansy. Instead, they just patted my back, spoke

soothingly to me, in an acceptable man-way, and let me cry. We truly were brothers in that moment.

After I’d pulled myself together, a nurse came to take me to Abby. I followed her back through

the maze of rooms to where Abby was. Her eyes were closed, and her face was as pale as the white

sheet she had drawn to her chest. I eased down in the chair beside her and took her hand. “Angel?”

Her eyelids fluttered as she tried to wake up. “I’m right here, babe.” I squeezed her hand

reassuringly.

She stared up at the ceiling for a moment before her head slowly turned to look at me. A smile

formed on her lips. “Hey.”

The sweet sound of her voice sent warmth through my chest. I leaned in to kiss her hand. “Hey,

yourself.”

Her gaze swept around the room, taking in the machines, and she shuddered. “Am I okay?”

“Yeah, you are now.”

My words didn’t console her. Her lip trembled as tears pooled in her eyes. “Can I still…”

I was sure she didn’t know much of what had happened, but it wasn’t hard to believe her first

thoughts would be to worry about having a child. “Yes, you can. And we will someday, I promise.”

“Sooner than later?” she whispered.

In my heart of hearts, regardless of what had just happened tonight, I still wasn’t ready. But I

knew I would be a real bastard to say that while Abby lay recovering from major surgery. So, I

forced a reassuring smile to my lips. “Of course, Angel. As soon as the doctor says you’re ready.”

The lie left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I wouldn’t have taken anything for the beaming smile

that lit up Abby’s face. I dreaded the day that I had to disappoint her again.

Nine Months Later

Sometimes you spend so much time pretending that you forget what real is. That’s exactly what

happened to me in the weeks following my surgery. The strong hold I had on being positive began to

slip. The ‘what-ifs’ began to plague me, and anxiety sent me reeling. But while there was a storm

brewing within me, I appeared calm and serene on the outside. No one would have ever guessed how

much torment I was in. I had a smile permanently carved on my face although I was becoming hollow

on the inside.

Everyone wanted the positive, happy, and sweet Abby, and that’s exactly what they got. I threw

myself into touring and promoting our new album. When I was home, I worked constantly on making

our house into a home for not only Jake and me, but for our family and friends. If I stopped for just an

instant, the voices of doubt grew more intense. So I stayed as busy as I could.

But I knew there would be a breaking point—a reckoning day when it would all come crashing

down on me. And when it finally came, I never imagined how heart-wrenching it would actually be…

“What do you think about this one?” I asked, as I held up a beautiful bouquet of delicate pink

roses.

“Looks good,” Jake mumbled, barely taking his eyes off the magazine he was reading.

I grinned and rolled my eyes. Jake could have cared less what flowers we got for Lily and

Brayden. He was completely out of his element in the hospital gift shop. He had zoned out the moment

we stepped into the baby section, and while I was busy smelling flowers, he had ducked away to grab

the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly.

“Okay then, we’ll get these for Lily and Brayden, and now we need something for the baby.”

Jake’s brows furrowed as he brought his gaze from the magazine to mine. “I thought we already

gave them a present.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “That was at the baby shower. We can’t go in empty handed.”

With a sigh, Jake glanced at the shelf full of stuffed bears, rabbits, and other woodland creatures.

He grabbed up a plush, white teddy bear with a giant pink bow on it. “There. Now we have

something.”

“You can carry that, and I’ll take the flowers.”

“I’m not carrying this bear.”

“And why not?” I questioned on my way to the register.

“Because I’ll look like a pansy,” he hissed.

“You’ll look perfectly normal on the maternity floor.”

He grumbled behind me, but after the cashier rang up the bear, he took it back and tucked it under

his arm. “Thank you,” I said.

He grinned. “You’re welcome.”

We headed out the door to get on the elevator. Brayden and Lily’s daughter had been born

around midnight last night. While it was a wonderfully exciting occasion, it was also hard because

we were set to leave this afternoon for the Southern leg of tour, which started in Alabama. Brayden

would have to leave Lily and his newborn daughter behind for an entire week. Luckily, both his

parents, along with Lily’s mom, were coming into town to help out.

We got off on the fifth floor, which was maternity, and quickly found Lily’s room. “Knock,

knock,” I said, as I pushed the door open.

“Hi guys,” Lily said. Reclining on the bed with a mountain of pillows, she held a newborn to her

chest. Jake’s steps momentarily faltered in the doorway when he thought Lily might be breastfeeding,

and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Coast is clear.”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he mumbled, although I could see the relief in his eyes.

As we stepped closer to the bed, I couldn’t believe how good Lily looked after just giving birth

twelve hours before. Her smile was radiant as she glanced at her beautiful baby, swathed in a pink

crocheted blanket I was sure Mia had made. “Brayden will be back any second. He took Jude and

Melody to get an ice cream in the cafeteria.”

“And who do we have here?” I asked.

“This is Miss Lucy.”

“Well, that’s Lucy Sky to be exact,” Brayden said from behind us. He grinned as he and the kids

came inside.

“Jesus, dude, another Beatles reference?” Jake asked.

Lily laughed. “He got lucky this time because my grandmother was Lucy.”

As I stared down at Lucy in Lily’s arms, I couldn’t fight the overwhelming urge to hold her.

Deep down, I knew it wouldn’t be good for me, but I couldn’t help myself. “Can I?” I asked Lily.

“Of course,” Lily replied, as she passed Lucy over to me.

The sweet scent of newborn innocence filled my nose as I held Lucy. She continued snoozing as

I took in her diminutive features. “She’s absolutely gorgeous,” I murmured.

“She looks just like me when I was a baby,” Melody said.

Jake peered over my shoulder at Lucy. “Yeah, she does.”

Brayden grinned. “She’s got Mel’s dark hair, that’s for sure.”

The door burst open to announce the arrival of AJ and Mia. While AJ held Bella in his arms,

Mia had an armful of balloons and flowers. “We couldn’t wait to see the newest member of the

Runaway Train family,” AJ said with a grin.

“Thank you, man,” Brayden said, before giving AJ a hug.

Rhys poked his head in the room. “Is this where the party is?”

Brayden laughed. “Sure is. Come on in.”

Rhys sidled up to me to get a look at Lucy. “Wow, you’ve got another stunner on your hands.

Better look out for her in sixteen years.”

“Yeah, I think she and Melody will be giving me a lot of grey hairs,” Brayden replied.

AJ nodded. “I hear ya, man. If this baby is a girl, I think I’m going to have to invest in some early

hair care prevention.”

“This baby?” Lily and I asked at the same time.

Mia huffed out a frustrated breath before smacking AJ’s arm. “You weren’t supposed to mention

the baby today! It’s about Brayden and Lily, not us.”

AJ’s expression turned sheepish. “Sorry. My bad.”

Bella clapped her hands. “I gonna be a big sister!”

Mia glanced around at us. “Fine. Since Mr. Blabbermouth and my daughter can’t keep quiet, yes,

I’m three months pregnant.”

A hearty “Congratulations!” went up around the room.