Music Notes (Heartbeat #3) (9 page)

I stood up at that moment and said, “Guys this food is taking too long, I’m heading back to my room. Catch you later.” I turned and walked away. I heard Maxwell say, “I think he is really missing his wife.” Oh hell yes I was, and I wasn’t going to sit there with Meila already trying to start something with me. When I got back to my room, I dialed room service for what would now be my lunch and then settled up against the pillows on the bed to complete the most important task of my day…everyday…I dialed my wife just to hear her lovely voice through the phone.

The first couple of weeks passed really fast and the shows in Chicago were delivered flawlessly. Madison and I survived through text messages during the day and long calls that ran late into the early morning hours until one of us dropped off the phone line. I was getting more excited about this next leg of the tour as Madison and Cecile were going to fly out west. Cecile had become my go-to person to find out if everything was going okay with Madison because I was certain if something was amiss, Madison would not tell me. She knew I’d come on home. As a trade off, I had to listen to Cecile go on and on about her love triangle with Kent and Connor who was still waiting in the wings. Guys don’t deal with shit like that. We don’t talk about it. But I guess as long as Cecile was my eyes and ears to Madison, I would endure Cecile’s chats.

Chapter Six – Coming Home

Another city, another hotel, but this time it was going to feel like coming home, because Madison was coming out to be with me. I was fumbling in the hotel room trying to make certain I cleaned it up just so there wouldn’t be any mess when she arrived. I hadn’t seen her in weeks, which to me felt like months…freaking eternity. I wanted her so much, and needed her far more than she probably imagined. I had a meeting to attend with some local sponsors prior to having the rest of the day available for my wife. Cecile had confirmed with me that she got a rental car and once they landed they would both be on their way to see their men.

Today, time was standing still. I kept looking at the clock on the wall, not able to concentrate on what the sponsors suggested for the upcoming concert. I watched each second tick by and knew she was coming to be with me. When the meeting finally ended, I pushed back my chair. I honestly couldn’t remember a single topic that was discussed. I remember being like this one time before.
Heading to the hospital to see Ashley…Still sweaty from the New York performance, I was racing to get to the hospital and tuned out everyone around me. I made the guys drive through all the red lights, and didn’t care if a cop stopped us. I would have begged them to get me to the hospital faster with the use of their sirens. But standing in that hospital room, I didn’t hear anyone or anything. I tuned it all out. I was lost. Ashley laid there with her eyes closed and her heart beating ever so slightly. I watched closely to see the slight rise and fall of her chest. Eventually, her heart stopped as I made that choice to let my twin sister go.

Wiping away the tears that had begun to form from this painful memory, I hear the loud honk of a horn behind me. I guess I was zoning out and sitting in traffic for longer than I should have. Here I am out on the California freeway, and the last thing I want to encounter is road rage. Moving my rental forward in the traffic I know that I never want to return to such a feeling of helplessness. I began to maneuver the lanes faster since by now, Madison was at the hotel. I received her text,

The four of us landed safely…me, Cecile and our babies. I cannot wait to be with you.

That brought a smile to my lips and I quickly responded.

Love, I am headed in your direction now and cannot wait to hold you in my arms.

My smile disappeared instantly as I put my phone down realizing I was stuck midday in Los Angeles traffic. I wasn’t going anywhere fast. As all the cars were creeping along, I felt the afternoon sun streaming in the windshield. My thoughts turned to my mother and sister. I missed them so much, and would have loved to have them here with me on my tour. Silently I say,
“Mom, you and Ashley would love the music I wrote and the songs all inspired by Madison. You both would have loved her too. She has brought out the very best in me. Not that I ever was really a bad son or brother but I’ve learned so much and have really grown up.”
Now with the traffic beginning to move along a little better, I decided to put on the radio just to pass the time until I got to the hotel. I was so anxious to be with my wife.

I selected one station and it wasn’t a song I wanted to listen to, and so my finger kept moving changing each station where I heard only a few notes but passed on each selection so far. Finally, there was a station that made me pause. I heard only the first few notes of the music and that was enough. It was like divine intervention, and I had to turn it up. It was
Missing Ash
, a tune that I put together with the band as a tribute to my sister after her tragic accident. So here I am sitting in a shit load of freeway traffic, surrounded by cars filled with stressed out people. I’m just enjoying the warmth of the sun, and listening to the words of my song. This moment is completely mine. Alone in my car in a sea of vehicles, I don’t care that I’m crawling along in traffic.

Much later when I opened the door to the hotel room it was very quiet. I saw her luggage off to the side, but there was no television on and no response when I called out Madison’s name. As I approach the bed, I see her loveliness laying there. It looks like she ordered room service and had a mini picnic all on her own. She’s sleeping so peacefully. I want to wake her, but instead I remove my clothes and slide in the bed next to her. She moans and turns but doesn’t wake. I reach around to her belly and can’t believe the bump has expanded so much since I last saw her. Now it is really evident that she is pregnant. I trail my fingers in patterns on her stomach until I fall off to sleep along with her. As I relax in the dark, my mind takes me back again.
“Rand, you sure that’s her?” Kent asked sounding doubtful.

“I think it is. She looks just like she used to when she worked at the newspaper.” I was certain it was Madison Tierney. I just had to be cool and play this down.

“Are you going to try to talk to her after the show?” Kent kept up.

“What for?” I fired back.

“Well she wrote about us months ago in the paper and she’s probably just here to see in person that we’re a damn good band.” Kent stated.

I laughed back at him and brushed off my nervousness.

“Yes we are that!” I exclaimed and raised my hand to high five him, and then hustled him onto the stage. I had to cut off any more of this conversation.

My eyes kept going to her during the Philly show. I had no idea that she would ever be at one of our shows. I felt like I was playing this entire show to her at a private performance. I didn’t miss a beat. A few times when I caught those beautiful eyes locked on mine I saw her smile slightly, and she looked so nervous. She kept checking behind her to see if I was really looking at her. I hoped she felt me, hoped she felt the music, and this crazy connection that I was feeling for the first time. My heart was racing, and not because of the show. When the show came to an end, I hung back on the stage. I never do. I usually want to get through the meet and greet line signing CDs and then out to party. I hung back and pretended to play with something on the stage area. I watched as she stood at the end of the show with the crowd and was cheering with them for our performance. I wanted to send her a wink or blow her a kiss, I felt compelled to. But then she turned to grab her jacket and that moment passed.

She stood there though, long after all the fans started to leave. Madison stood there looking at the stage. I fumbled with a few things, some stupid electrical cords or such, not even knowing why I was waiting. Maybe I was willing her to approach me. I pretended I didn’t see her there. Then I heard it, this shy voice call out, “Max, Max Rand.” Madison had reached out to me. I raised my head and put my sweaty palms on my jeans and looked into her beautiful eyes. I wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk to me about, but I just cared that she
was
talking to me. It was a dream of mine that came true.

I’m lying in bed coming out of that awesome dream. I remember that moment like it was yesterday, I reach out for her now and I see that she is already out of the bed and seated in the chair next to me with a white box. It looked like a pastry box of some sort.

“Hey Love, sorry I dozed off with you. Come here, let me feel those lips I have missed for so long.”

“Rand, I have missed you more than I thought a heart could, but first things first. I have a present for you.”

“Love, you’re all I ever need.”

“Well, I think you will like this present.”

“Okay I give. You brought me a cinnamon bun all the way from Philly with real cream cheese on it?”

“No something far better—cupcakes,” and she licked her lips and made them glisten.

“Okay, let me at them.” I sat up and opened the box of goodies and watched her eyes, not even blinking. In the box were two cupcakes, one blue and one pink iced.

“Are you kidding me?” I shouted with happiness and pulled her in dropping the delightful cupcakes to the floor but taking in all the sweetness this woman could give to me. We were having a boy and a girl. It had slipped my mind that she was getting the ultrasound and finding out. I hadn’t asked because I didn’t know if they had told her or if she decided to wait. She feathered her lips slowly across mine, savoring this moment, but I couldn’t wait. I crushed mine into her and also began to rip her clothing off. I looked at her chest. That too had grown more than I ever thought it could. I gave each nipple some long overdue attention. I wasn’t going to last, and had no patience for long foreplay. “Love, I need to be in you now. I can’t wait one more second.” There was a part of me that wanted to be gentle, but I drove in full throttle. Thankfully, she was so wet that I slid right on in. I groaned out loud and shouted, “Oh Hell Yeah!”

I was moving so quickly inside her until Madison said, “Oh, Rand, it hurts…” I immediately stopped the motion within her and then I heard her continue, “It hurts so good. Please don’t stop.” I didn’t have to hear her ask a second time, I was back to moving inside her so deeply and taking my wife all the way to bliss right along with me.

I took my wife a few more times before we both were more than exhausted and definitely in need of food. Madison was surprising me by how she ate room service early and was again famished. I suppose there is truth to her needing to eat for three now. Before I let her leave the bed to freshen up so we could go out to eat, I pulled her back into my arms. I didn’t hesitate taking her hand to my heart, a gesture that would never get old. I felt the pulse beating into her hand. She held my heart forever. It felt electrifying. These were the best moments—just holding onto one another and feeling alive. I then took my hand and smoothed her messy hair. I know we got a little crazy in this bed earlier, but I couldn’t keep my hands off her.

“So Love, let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll see what the others are doing for food.” I said tenderly not really ready to let her go from the bed. As she left me, I realized I didn’t want her to head back to Philly. I wanted her here with me for the rest of the tour. “I have a great idea, I think you should stay here with me. What do you think?”

“Silly I am here with you.”

“No I mean really stay with me… stay on with me the rest of my shows.”

“As much as I’d love to stay with you, being pregnant and sick sometimes, I’m sure I’d be in the way.”

“Madison you will never be in my way.” I reached out to her but she was already a bit too far out of my reach. “Think about it, please stay.” I didn’t want to beg her, but with Meila squirming around me on the prowl and Madison so far away I was worried I would fuck this up. I needed her like I required oxygen.

“I’ll stay on here in California for a bit, but then I have to get some writing done, and you can head to Texas. Then I will definitely be right by your side in New York. I promise. Is that enough?”