Murderous Muffins (14 page)

“No. You’re very intelligent, resourceful, and competent. I believe that y’all have a gut instinct for this type of work. You truly do.”

Cat chuckled. “You’re really a great friend for saying that. However, I think it was a one-time lucky deal. After all, I can’t seem to get any closer to finding anything about my dad’s shooting.”

“With more time, I bet you will.”

Cat grinned. “You’re such an optimist.”

“Hattie used to say, ‘An optimist’s blood type is always B-positive.’ Although I am sure she heard that somewhere else, it rang true to me. No matter what life handed her or our family, she always saw the good in it. I’m blessed to have learned that from her.”

My cell rang. I checked the caller ID. “It’s José. I’ll put him on speaker.” I said into the phone, “Hi, José. Both Cat and I can hear you.”

“That’s fine. Listen, did you hear that Frank left the hospital AMA?” José said.

“Is that acronymic for the American Medical Association?” I said into the phone.

“Or it could be the American Management Association. My husband attended a seminar on professional leadership sponsored by them,” Cat said.

I said, “Oh, and my father belonged to the Academy of Model Aeronautics. It went by AMA.”

“One of my neighbors is a member of the American Motorcyclist Association,” Cat added.

José laughed. “Are you done?”

Cat and I said yes.

“AMA stands for discharge ‘against medical advice.’ Frank signed himself out,” José said.

“Oh? I spoke to Lily a little while ago. She mentioned that Frank would be taking her to work after he dropped his bag at the gym,” I said.

“Anyway, I just wanted to give you some good news,” José said.

“We really need some now,” Cat said.

“I got a peek at Frank’s toxicology report, and there was no evidence of the same poison that was found to have been lethal to Mr. Phong,” José said.

Cat high-fived me. “That’s terrific. Bezu is off the hook.”

“At least for Frank she is. But I’m afraid I’ve also read the reports on Mr. Phong—he ingested a toxin. One of the same that was found under Bezu’s sink.” José took a deep breath.

“Oh no.” The words caught in my throat. “José, you know that I had nothing to do with it. All of those bottles under my sink were used to kill insects. Not people. You know that, don’t you?”

“Of course I know that because I know you. However, this is not my case. As it is, I am skirting around the edges using my connections to find out what I can to help you without getting myself fired,” José said.

“But surely you can vouch for my character,” I said.

“No, I can’t. Those involved will not listen to me. After all, they know we are friends. And that in and of itself counts me out as an objective witness. I just wanted you to know that. If there is anything you gals know that can help clear this up, I suggest you tell me,” José said.

“Well, you see, it’s not that easy. We’ve sort of come to a standstill on our end,” Cat said.

“We just can’t think of where to go next. There is not one person left to consider as a suspect,” I added.

“I don’t know what to tell you about suspects, but if you do come up with anything, I’m here to help out,” José said. “Listen, I have to go. You two gals stay out of trouble. But I strongly suggest you think about who could be the perpetrator and let me know if you come up with someone. If not, Bezu, it all leads back to you.” With that, José hung up.

“Well, that’s certainly not encouraging for you, Bezu. I’m so sorry.” Cat placed a hand on my arm.

“As my Hattie would say when she found herself at odds, ‘I’m standing in need of a prayer,’ and I’d say that’s true for me now.” Grabbing my glass, I chugged the rest of my drink. I winced.

Luiz entered the kitchen. “Good day, ladies.”

My heart skipped a beat. I was pretty sure it was because of Luiz and not the sudden jolt of champagne hitting my system. He wore tan slacks and a cream linen blazer over a pale green shirt, accentuating his blue-green eyes.

“Please tell us you bear good news,” Cat said to him.

“Yes, that would be lovely, considering I’m still a murder suspect.” I rinsed out my glass.

“Oh?” Luiz said.

“Of course, we know she didn’t kill Mr. Phong, and although Frank is a jerk, she didn’t poison him, either,” Cat said.

“The bodybuilder guy is, um, he’s…” Luiz, eyes wide, stopped midsentence.

Waving my hands, I said, “Oh no. No. He’s not dead.”

“He was hospitalized,” Cat added.

“That serious?” Luiz asked.

“Not really, he’s out now.” Cat finished her drink. “So what’s going on with your search?”

Luiz leaned against the counter. “I’ve narrowed it down to Joseph. He’s the only person who could have taken the files. But I have no proof yet.”

“I don’t know how much I can help, but if I can be of assistance, please let me know,” I said. “Would you like a beverage?”

“No, thank you.” Luiz asked, “Bezu, could you do me one favor?”

“It depends on the favor.” I smiled.

Luiz winked at me. “Nothing that would compromise your values and morals, I assure you.”

“What a shame.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized how coy that sounded. Ugh. I was officially the world’s most awkward flirt.

Cat held up a hand. “Will you two excuse me? I have to do some paperwork in my room.” She exited the kitchen.

I let out a tiny cough. “I’m sorry about how I responded to your request for a favor. It seems that one drink loosens my lips.”

“Actually you made my day. Sorry about the line.” Luis chuckled. “I heard it was a popular phrase from some movie.”

“Clint Eastwood’s character, Harry Callahan, in the 1983 movie Sudden Impact, said ‘Go ahead, make my day.’ Hattie had a mad crush on Clint Eastwood so we watched all his movies over and over again. I memorized so many lines; I could’ve been a stand-in for any part.”

“A movie buff, huh? You and I will have to see one soon. Or perhaps we can stay in and rent a DVD. I could cook you one of my famous Brazilian dishes: feijoada, a black bean stew with smoked meats. My comfort food.”

I arched an eyebrow. He wants to make me a meal and spend an evening watching a movie. I was gob-smacked.

“Of course, if you prefer seafood, I can make vatapa, which is loaded with shrimp and has a cashew peanut sauce. Unless you are allergic to shellfish or nuts?” Luis asked.

“Oh no. I mean, all the food you mentioned sounds incredible.” I hung my head.

“Then why do you look so forlorn?”

Shaking my head, I said, “It’s just that whoever poisoned the food has not been found yet. Leaving me the main suspect. I’m sorry, but I can’t make plans until this whole mess is straightened out.” Just my luck. Some decent guy walked into my life just as I had one foot in the penitentiary.

Luiz lowered his eyes. “I understand. And I am sorry that you have to go through all of this. Is there anything I can help with?”

“No, thanks.” I stiffened my posture and took a long inhale. I had to get out of my little pity party and get back to work. “So, you said earlier that you had a favor to ask me.”

Luis held up a hand. “Oh no. That is not important now.”

“Please, I don’t mind. Anyway, I am sort of at a standstill on our investigation.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are the police finished examining your house?”

“Yes, as far as I know. They’ve got all the evidence and anything else they wanted. Why do you ask?”

“Can you, only if it is not illegal or anything, look in Mr. Phong’s room to see if you find any files or anything related to my company?”

“Even better. Why don’t we head upstairs together now and take a look?” I put my glass in the sink. Taking out my keys, I jingled them. “Let’s go.”

Luiz chortled. “You American women, I try to cook you a meal first, maybe see a movie like a proper date, but you want to skip ahead and go right to the bedroom.”

Luiz poked around Mr. Phong’s things. I glanced around, hoping to find something, anything, that looked like a clue. Except, what did a clue resemble? It wasn’t like there was a neon arrow pointing at it, although that would really be helpful.

“Are you finding anything?” I asked Luiz.

He lifted a stack of books on a bedside chair. “No. How about you?”

“Nothing.” Sighing, I said, “I’m about as useful as a screen door on a submarine or a trap door on a canoe.”

Luiz smiled. “Which means?”

“I forget that you’re not from around here. It means that I can’t find anything.”

“I think I need a translator with you.”

“Sure, coming from a guy who pretended to be American, except with a bad accent.”

“Touché.”

Tittering, I plucked a ceramic coffee cup from the dresser top, and then I sauntered over to the window. Looking out, I saw the courtyard; the tea olive vines stretched over the fence next to the hydrangea bush, whose limbs draped downward, heavy with flowers. For a moment, my thoughts wandered back in time to my family gathered in lawn chairs under the shade of the oak tree dripping with Spanish moss. In the summer, after dinner, we’d head outside. We’d have our dessert while sipping tall glasses of sweet iced tea as we laughed and told stories until the sun set. I cracked the window open and took in a deep breath, hoping to smell the flowers. Instead, I saw a line of ants on the faded, chipped windowsill. I brushed them away. “Shoo.”

“Me?” Luiz asked.

“No. The carpenter ants. I’m afraid I have an infestation of them, and soon they will have taken over every inch of the house until there is nothing left.”

“Did they cause the roof leaks?”

“No. I think the roof’s just tired and worn out.” I rubbed my hand on the plaster wall. “No matter. One day this whole place will be restored to its original grandeur.”

He asked, “How long do you think that will take?”

Glancing around the room, I said, “At the rate I’m going, it could be a while, but I have some money now and plan to take care of the most pressing problems first.”

“It’s such a grand home.”

My eyes watered up. “It’s like family to me.”

He moved next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

His touch made a shiver run down my spine. Then my pride got the best of me. I surely wasn’t looking for a handout. The Gordons never were charity cases—instead, we donated heavily to organizations that provided for those in need. I stiffened my spine. “No, thank you. I have all I need.” Which was sort of true since I had the money from the pearl necklace, although it would probably take double that to do all that was needed.

Removing his hand, he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to insult you.”

I smiled. “So, are we done in here?”

“Almost. I want to check another spot.” He knelt down and poked his head under the bed. “I noticed this the other night. You have a loose board under here.”

“I’ll add it to the ‘things to be done’ list.”

He chuckled. “I mean, this would be a great place to stash things, here under the floorboard.”

“Oh? Right. Here, let me help you slide the bed over.” We both pushed the bed. It squeaked as we moved it a few feet.

I bent down, then slid my fingers under the loose board, wiggling it up and down in an attempt to loosen it. “It’s not budging.”

“If you don’t mind, let’s both try and pull at the same time.”

“Okay.”

Luiz hunched over me, his chest pressed into my back, his arms around me, with both of us grabbing hold of the floorboard. “Let’s tug at the same time, ready?”

“Yes.”

We both pulled. I grunted with the effort. Heat from Luiz’s body made me flush as a bead of perspiration formed on my forehead. We tugged and pulled. Luiz groaned.

The door flew open.

Cat said, “Are you okay? I heard noise and thought something was wrong. Like someone in here was in trouble.” She looked at us. “But now I see I’ve interrupted something. I’m so very sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” I asked.

Cat shook her head. “I can see that you’re in the middle of, um, an amorous moment.”

“What?” I said. “We are not doing any such thing.”

“You’re not? ’Cause I heard squeaking, like a bed moving. Then I heard grunting and groaning, and now I come in here and you two are all sorts of twisted together on the floor. And you are a bit sweaty.” Cat put on a wicked grin.

Quickly standing up, I patted the beads of perspiration from my face. “Well, we were not having a romantic moment, if that’s what you were thinking.”

Cat shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, you are both single, consenting adults. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing if you were.”

I shot a glare at Cat, hoping she would stop her nonsense. Although the same thought about Luiz had crossed my mind as well.

Luiz stood, brushing his hand on his shirt. “If you ladies will excuse me, I have to get back to work. Maybe we can get a crowbar to pry up that board later, okay, Bezu?”

I nodded. After he left the room, I began to giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Cat asked.

“It’s all sad and silly and complicated and tangled up and good and bad. My life. Mr. Phong’s death. Frank’s mysterious illness. My relationship with Luiz. This old, broken-down, wonderful, falling-apart house. All of it.” I flung my hands in the air. “It’s either laugh or cry.”

“You’re worrying me. Are you sure that you aren’t, I don’t know, like, losing your mind?” Cat raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, I do all the time, but then I find it again.” I playfully struck Cat’s arm.

“You and me both.” Cat smirked.

My cell rang. I pulled it out of my dress pocket. “Hey, José.”

“What can you tell me about Frank?” José asked.

“Why?” I asked.

“Since he didn’t get sick from the same poison that caused Mr. Phong’s death, I’m trying to get a handle on what it could be,” José said.

“I’m not sure how much I know about him,” I said into the phone.

“Anything at all,” he said.

“Let’s see. He’s a bouncer at the strip club his girlfriend, Lily, works at. He’s always carrying an Atlas Gym bag. His room has a poster about an upcoming body-building contest. Lily said he’s preparing for one.”

“Stop right there. If that is the case, then that validates it wasn’t your muffins at all,” Jose said.

“Huh?” I said.

“This I know for sure, bodybuilders do not eat a grain of sugar or any carbs when they are in training. They only eat vegetables and protein to help give their muscles definition.”

“So?”

“So that means if he was truly a serious competitor, he would have never eaten your muffins.”

“Okay, but you already know that from the toxicology report.”

“Yes, but we didn’t test for anything else.”

“Like what?”

“Steroids. I bet he was taking them; a lot of bodybuilders take them to get the muscle bulk they need.”

“Now that I think of it, in his dresser, I found needles and little bottles of something called Equipoise.”

“Bingo.”

“But isn’t it illegal to take those?”

“Bezu, it’s illegal to do a lot of things. Doesn’t mean people still don’t do them. It’s far easier to find a rule breaker than a rule follower.”

I did take in boarders without a permit, and I had gone over the speed limit. I was sure, if I thought about it, I could come up with a list of infractions both big and small. He was right. “Anyway, what now? So what if Frank takes that? Aren’t they just like vitamins, but mega doses?”

“Well, it depends. Too much and they can cause severe illness. I’m going to have them run a steroid test on his blood sample. I’ll get back to you.”

With that, he clicked off. I went over the conversation with Cat.

“That could explain Frank’s cruddy attitude, too,” Cat said.

“How so?” I asked.

“Have you ever heard of ’roid rage?” Cat asked me.

“No,” I said.

“Some of Timmy and Teddy’s friends were into lifting weights and bulking up. One of them in particular, Mack, his personality changed the more muscular he got. And let me tell you, Mack began to look like the incredible Hulk. But the boys got worried about him; he was not himself anymore.”

“In what way?”

“Mack became extremely aggressive and hostile. Poor kid.” Cat shook her head.

My eyes widened. “That describes Frank to a tee. So what caused it?”

Cat brushed a hair from her eye. “Come to find out that Mack had been taking injectable anabolic steroids—very easy to get over the Internet.”

“Oh.”

Cat nodded. “So this all makes sense now. I bet you that Frank was doped up on steroids and had some of the side effects from them, like the anger and such.”

“At least he’s nice to Lily. I think he just tolerates me because Lily likes me so much. But Frank sure had a disdain for Mr. Phong, and he wasn’t afraid to voice his opinions on the matter.” My head hung thinking of sweet, departed Mr. Phong.

Cat jumped up. “Oh my goodness. It was right under our noses the whole time. Frank is the killer. He did it.”

I lifted my chin. “What?”

“I bet you that he killed Mr. Phong during one of his ’roid rages. He had access to needles, your poisons, the muffins, and all of that.”

I slanted my head in thought. “It wasn’t a secret that Mr. Phong loved my muffins. Plus, José did tell us that Frank’s illness wasn’t from poison.”

“Hold on a second. I’m looking something up.” Cat tapped her iPhone. “Here it is. I looked up symptoms of steroid abuse. Let’s assume he was over-using them, getting ready for the contest.”

“Uh huh,” I said.

Cat said, “So let’s further assume that he started upping his steroid dosage.”

“Okay.”

Cat looked at her phone. “Symptoms: male pattern baldness, anemia…” She paused. “Oh, here it is, steroid use can cause nausea and vomiting. See? It all makes sense now.”

“It does?” I asked.

“Yes, think about all the information we have so far.”

“Okay.” I began to pace the floor. “So Frank, somehow high or whatever it’s called on steroids, had become so agitated with Mr. Phong’s singing that he tainted his muffins to shut him up.”

“Yes. I bet he injected the muffins with his needles and then gave them to Mr. Phong.”

“I did have quite a few liquid poisons under the kitchen sink. They were not secure or anything.”

“And then Frank possibly accidently overdosed himself on steroids, trying to get ready for the contest. He ended up in the hospital.”

“Then he accused me of poisoning him, making him ill. My, what nerve.” I folded my arms on my chest.

Cat snapped her fingers. “Yes, exactly. He blamed you in order to keep the focus away from him. So we have it all figured out. We cracked this case.”

“Yes, but here’s a minor wrinkle.” I looked intently at Cat. “We have no proof.”

Cat wiggled her hand in front of me. “Don’t you worry about that. We’ll find it.”

“Where?”

“First we search Frank’s room.”

I smiled. “You know, José mentioned that everyone breaks the rules, and I keep proving him right. What’s another invasion of privacy if it gets a case solved?”

Cat winked. “Now you’re thinking like a detective. Let’s go.”