Much Ado About Mother (23 page)

CHAPTER 26

SUZANNA

T
he zombies were preparing their attack.

It was the first chance Suzanna had gotten to look at herself since she'd been turned into a zombie. The pale skin, the sunken eyes, the stringy and matted hair. Her clothes were torn and stained—disintegrated in the sun. She looked a mess, all right.

Her sister, Erinn, came up behind her. Erinn looked equally undead and studied her own reflection alongside Suzanna's.

“I thought we weren't supposed to look in the mirror,” Erinn said.

“That's vampires,” Suzanna replied. “They have no reflection.”

“I know that,” Erinn said, in her tired “I know everything” voice. “I mean, I thought we weren't supposed to look at ourselves in case we hated the way we look.”

“Dear God, how Hollywood is that? I don't think you're supposed to like the way you look once you're a zombie,” Suzanna said.

A siren sounded and the sisters exchanged a glance. A male zombie in rags lurched past them, out the door of Suzanna's tea shop and onto the Venice Beach Walk, where he fell into lurch with a group of other zombies: men, women, and children. Suzanna and Erinn got in step behind him, trying not to bump into the door frame while attempting to match his pace, their arms outstretched, groaning in a low, feral tone. Suzanna felt clumsy as she tried to navigate her walkway. The zombie lurch was not as easy as it looked.

Eric's brilliant idea was to have a Zombie 5K before the tree dedication. He thought it would be the perfect way to bring everyone, pro-tree, anti-tree, never gave a damn about the tree, together. Suzanna was surprised by Erinn's enthusiastic support until she realized that the 5K would take some of the spotlight off Alice. Suzanna was always surprised when her sister acted like any other insecure woman.

She had to hand it to her husband: The Zombie 5K was the perfect community activity. There were the runners, who would wear “tag football” streamers around their waists. As they neared the finish line, zombies would chase them and try to steal a streamer. This meant that anyone who wanted to participate but wasn't in good enough shape to run the 5K could participate as a zombie. In other parts of the country, there would be no shame in saying, “Hell, no, I'm not running 5K.” But not in Southern California. This way you could pretend you just wanted to wear the crazy makeup and lurch around.

The zombies would hide until the runners had the finish line in sight and then they would attack. Eric thought that it would be better to have the zombies attack as the runners were starting to tire. It would give them an extra boost of adrenaline as they tried to escape and would give the zombies a fighting chance to catch the local athletes since they would be fresh out of the gate.

Rio, Eric, Christopher, Dymphna, and Bernard were the first to sign up as runners. Suzanna signed herself up as a zombie, not because she couldn't run a 5K (which she thought she could, given enough advance notice) but because she thought it might be a harmless, blameless way to chase after Rio. Mr. Clancy and Erinn were the next zombies to sign on. Erinn was perfectly happy to admit a 5K was not going to happen in her lifetime, plus she thought she could wear a GoPro camera on her head and get some great footage.

“You have no social shame, have you?” Suzanna asked Erinn when she explained why she had chosen to be a zombie.

“Since I don't even know what that means,” Erinn said, “I guess not.”

Everyone was surprised when Virginia signed up as a runner.

“I've been out with Lizzy and Piquant jogging every morning,” Virginia said one morning after returning from a run. Lizzy and Virginia had become a real fixture on the Beach Walk. Ever since Lizzy's Disneyland trip, the toddler had been sporting Minnie Mouse ears. Virginia had sewn a red polka-dotted ribbon to the hat, so it would stay on as Virginia ran through the neighborhood, pushing the Baby Jogger, which she also festooned with ribbons. Virginia had gotten so fast that losing the hat had become a real possibility! A local pet shop vendor had stopped her one day and handed her a tiny polka-dotted dog collar for Piquant. The three of them were a sight to see!

When Virginia and Suzanna had approached Donell with the sign-up sheet, Suzanna was aware that he seemed uncomfortable with her mother.

“Donell,” Virginia had said to him. “You know we're having a dedication of the tree sculpture. We want everyone to put old prejudices aside and start over.”

“Everyone?” Donell asked, sliding his sunglasses down his nose and looking Virginia in the eye.

“Everyone,” she said, looking right back at him. “Clean slate.”

Suzanna looked at the two of them, who seemed to be in some sort of standoff.

“All right, then,” Donell said, beaming the first radiant smile Suzanna had seen in a while. He took the sign-in sheet and studied it, his smile fading. “A race? Are you kidding me? I'd be better off being an obstacle! How about I provide some sage for the winner?”

Virginia took the clipboard back with Donell's signature on it. Next to his name, Suzanna could see that he had written,
Will provide sage for life for the winner.

Alice refused to participate in the race.

“I need to look refreshed for the cameras,” she had said to Suzanna when she was approached. “You know, for the dedication ceremony.”

Most of the tea-shop ladies signed up as zombies since they weren't exactly race material, and Rio's teenagers signed up as zombies as well because it was way cooler than being runners. Suzanna worried that there would be more zombies than runners, but Eric had told her, “It'll all work out, Beet. This sort of thing . . . you have to rely on magic.”

That was one of the things she loved about Eric. He had worked like crazy to get his MBA but here he was, believing in magic.

People started signing up one after another—like magic! Erinn put out the word on Facebook and it seemed that everyone she'd ever worked with over the years decided to come participate in the race. The macho competitiveness among them, including Cary, drove them all to be runners.

On the day of the race, Suzanna saw Erinn peeking out of the tea shop, where they had applied their zombie makeup.

“I know half of the people out there,” Erinn said.

“I know,” said Suzanna, surprised, as she scanned the crowd. She'd never thought of her sister as having a circle of friends, but there were all the guys Erinn had talked about over the last few years: Gilroi, Carlos, the young audio guy everyone now called Fetus.

“Is Jude here?” Suzanna asked.

“No, thank God,” Erinn said, clearly agitated. “He's still out of town.”

“I'm surprised you don't want to see him. You could lord your new age–appropriate boyfriend over him.”

“No thanks. I don't want to see him or anyone else I know. I look like a damn fool,” Erinn said, indicating her undead makeup. “Well, not a fool. Then I'd be wearing clown makeup. But these are my colleagues and I don't look
professional!
”

Suddenly, Suzanna grabbed a towel and started scrubbing at Erinn's face.

“What . . . ,” Erinn said, but her voice was muffled in the terry cloth.

Suzanna held up a mirror. As Erinn looked, Suzanna scrubbed at her own face.

“I don't look like a zombie anymore,” Erinn said, confused. “I just look like I'm wearing too much makeup!”

“Exactly,” Suzanna said, taking the mirror and studying herself. “Nobody said we couldn't be
cute
zombies.”

Erinn looked worried, but Suzanna knew her sister was relieved.

“Speaking of cute,” Suzanna said, “where is Blu?”

“I have no idea. She said she'd be here, but she didn't sign up. Anyway,” Erinn said as she put the GoPro camera on her head, “when she shows up, I'll get some footage of her. I'm sure she'll be turning a few heads, whatever she decides to do.”

Suzanna studied her sister. There she stood, not wanting to face her colleagues in her excellent zombie makeup but perfectly happy to strap a thing that looked like a clunky coal miner's lantern onto her forehead.

Mavis, the local shopkeeper, had been elected as the zombie lookout. She wouldn't be involved in the chase, but she would let the zombies know when the runners were approaching. She'd given them a few false starts: “OK, Zombies, here they . . . ,” she would begin and then stop. “Oh, no, that's just one runner. Hang on . . .”

But finally the runners were appearing in the distance.

“They're here,” Mavis said. “For real this time!” She was scanning the horizon with binoculars. “Oh, Erinn and Suzanna, I can see your mom . . . she's got Lizzy
and
Piquant in the stroller!”

“I'm sure going to miss her,” Suzanna said.

She turned to look at Erinn, who, even through her softened zombie makeup, looked stricken.

“What do you mean, miss her? You mean Mother? Is she ill?”

“No,” Suzanna said, first wanting to kick herself, then her mother, for not telling Erinn. “She's going back to New York. It's complicated.”

“Why didn't she tell me?”

Suzanna looked at her. “Because
you're
complicated.”

The first runner—Suzanna thought it might be one of Erinn's ex-cameramen, Carlos—went by in a flash.

“Let's do this!” shouted a random zombie and then the lurch was on.

Suzanna caught Erinn's eye. Her sister looked irritated.

“What's wrong?” Suzanna hissed.

“We're never going to take down Mother at this pace.”

“Who says we have to take down Mom?”

Their mother sprinted past them, polka-dot ribbons streaming behind her. Erinn dashed after her with surprising speed. Suzanna was about to give chase but then Rio was at her side. In a split second he was in front of her. She watched his tight ass flexing in his workout shorts. She noticed he still had both the ribbons tied to his waist. No zombie had gotten hold of him yet.

Suzanna put on a burst of speed. The flag on his right hip was inches from her. She reached out but it snapped itself away from her. She reached again. Rio, seemingly oblivious to her (what else was new?), dodged and weaved among the runners and the attacking hordes. Suzanna focused harder.

“Hi, Beet,” Eric said as he loped past. He didn't even seem to be breaking a sweat. Suzanna was disconcerted for a moment. It was like a crazy romantic dream when suddenly something goes terribly wrong. What was her husband doing here, in the middle of an old-time fantasy? Suzanna stumbled and regained her footing. By the time she was balanced she could see Rio a few runners ahead, some of his students merrily chasing him. Suzanna almost ran into a zombie in front of her and jumped sideways. Something very shiny and blue caught her eye.

It was Blu, in her Superblu costume, running hellbent toward Eric.

Rio was forgotten in a flash. Suzanna couldn't believe Blu could run so fast in four-inch platforms. She didn't even want to imagine what other skills the girl might have.

Luckily, runners and zombies alike kept stopping to gape at Blu. From time to time that slowed her down and Suzanna was able to make up some distance. She could tell the instant Blu knew Eric's wife was in the picture—she probably had some practice—as the two women locked eyes.

CHAPTER 27

ERINN

E
rinn ran as fast as she could. She raced past runners whose flags were in easy reach. She sped past without a glance. She could see her mother ahead of her and tried to catch her, but her GoPro camera kept falling down into her eyes. Erinn finally took it off and stuffed it in her pocket. As she watched her mother's back, still youthful and full of life, she knew that in a few years, that back would bend. Erinn felt she had wasted so much time just taking for granted that her mother would always be there. She watched as Virginia waved and shouted to people who a few short months ago were strangers and were now her friends. Didn't she still have a lot to learn from her mother, this woman who could still surprise both Erinn and Suzanna? This woman who could speak Spanish and knit and dance? What else didn't Erinn know about her?

Erinn saw Piquant look back at her from the Baby Jogger. She saw Lizzy's little baby hands reach out and pull him back.

Erinn sped up and overtook the carriage. Her mother was laughing as Erinn ran beside her.

“Mom,” Erinn said, but she was winded.

“Mom?” Virginia said, smiling. “I thought I was Mother. You haven't called me Mom since you were ten.”

“Mom,” Erinn tried again.

“I'm not stopping, Erinn. You're a zombie and I'm not stopping until you grab one of my flags!”

With that, Virginia launched herself forward, away from Erinn. Erinn reached out again and grabbed hold of the flag. It came off in her hand. She looked at it as Virginia slowed. Virginia turned and looked at Erinn. Tears were running down Erinn's face, smearing the remains of her zombie makeup.

Virginia reached out.

“Baby! What is it?”

“Mom,” Erinn choked. “Don't leave me.”