Ms. Zephyr's Notebook (12 page)

November 26

Jacqueline H-M.

Abbie,

I wonder if you can please send the attached note through by e-mail to my mother. The internet down the hall is broken again and of course I can't borrow Kip's computer anymore.

Thank you for your help, Abbie.

Jacqueline

Hello Mother,

When you get a moment, could you please call me at the hospital? I've tried you several times but it always flips to your voice mail and the box is FULL. I am anxious to hear about how Nona is doing. She hasn't sent me any letters or cards for two weeks at
least. And I wanted to tell her how well I did on the essay I wrote about her.

Your daughter,

Cleopatra

November 27

Kip Graeme

(I can't believe I got talked into this. This better give me some kind of good Samaritan points, Abbie. L.K.)

Hi Abbie,

This is Kip. Logan said he would type for me since I feel so crummy and I can't sit up yet. But I wanted to tell you that I am happy to be back here in this ward. I even got Logan's bed! They moved him into my room so I could be with you during the day. I like sharing a room with you, Abbie!

(Hey —
I like the privacy. He's all yours, Abbie. L.K.)
Logan, no typing what I am not saying. What are you typing now? Cut it out.

(Okay, okay, kid. Just joking around. L.K.)

Abbie, I am so sad that my donated kidney didn't work. But maybe I will get another new kidney soon. My mom says I am on the list to try again so that I don't have to be hooked up to this machine for life. It is called d____s.

(No way I can spell that, Abs. You know what the kid means, right? The kidney cleaner thing. L.K.)

Logan has been really cool. He drew all these
amazing cartoon pictures of cars that I have all over my walls now. Thanks, Logan!

(This is really stupid, Abs. I'm only writing this because he said it. And I didn't twist the kid's arm or anything, if that's what you're thinking. And they are NOT cartoons, kid. Illustrations. They are illustrations.)

He also told me how he is teaching himself to drive by using his mom's car when she is asleep.

(Okay, now that's privileged information, Abbie. You can't divulge that by law, right?)

Thanks for typing for me, Logan. Doctor Robbie says I can sit up tomorrow, so I will type my own then.

From,

Kip

November 27

Logan K.

Afternoon.

Thanks for taking my scribing job for Kip as my journal entry for the day, Abs. You rock!

And I am now finally free of the Useless Contraption. The nurse just removed my IV shunt. Bonus!

Logan

November 27

Jacqueline H-M.

Hello Abbie,

I just reviewed the segment Logan typed out for Kip. Thank you for confirming that the contents of this notebook are confidential. I certainly would not want any of the following information getting out.

I just had a very disturbing telephone call from my sister. It seems she was invited to a party held by a group of sorority sisters at the state college. My sister was thrilled to be invited but was very perturbed when she arrived and found a number of girls my age were also in attendance. Including the one and only Adine Terrapini. It seems Adine's sister (one of the sorority girls) gave each of the younger girls a different coloured lipstick before they opened the doors and displayed a room full of fraternity boys who had obviously been invited earlier. Helena told me that the girls were invited to a rainbow party. All the girls had on bright colours of clothing but I don't think they really understood what was going on, Abbie. Helena said she and a bunch of the other girls left as soon as it became clear where the rainbows were supposed to show up. But she said Adine stayed behind, laughing and drinking Jack Daniels with the fraternity boys.

This makes me feel quite sick. I'm so glad Helena left the party. I even — and I can't believe I am
writing this — wish Adine had left, too. (Apparently Helena kept the lipstick, though. She said it was a very pretty coral colour.)

Jacqueline

November 28

Kip G.

Hi Abbie,

Okay, this is really funny, Abbie. Logan just told me that Jacqueline just got caught putting dog poop in her toilet. For some reason Logan looked really upset, but I think it is a pretty funny joke to play on the nurses. Jacqueline is always mad at the nurses. She says she has no privacy. I just hope they know she was joking. It is a pretty funny joke, don't you think, Abbie? She won't get in trouble, will she?

I can see Jacqueline through the window to Logan's room, but the door is closed and I can hear him shouting. He must be mad about something because he is banging stuff around in there again. I guess we can laugh about this later.

From,

Kip

November 28

Logan K.

After cooling down some — afternoon, I think.

Hey Abs,

You may have already heard from Cleopatra about our little dust-up this morning. I just blew a gasket, Abbie. I mean, I did read the note she wrote to me. I do get that she's battling something that I don't really understand and I am really trying not to bug her about it.

But I've been thinking about this. It seems to me the biggest dragon she has to slay is herself. And when I found those laxative wrappers stuffed into my garbage can today… well, I just lost it. You know I'm not commonly a garbage picker, but today Kip wanted to see what the rough copy of the latest panel of my graphic novel looked like, so I went back through the old pages I had just thrown away. And there were the wrappers, in with all the paper recycling. And I sure as hell knew that I haven't been eating chocolate laxatives.

What really bugged me is that she denied it. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I mean, she's denied barfing in my bathroom. She's had heart problems right from the time she got here and denies those, too. But lying to my face that she put the wrappers in my garbage? Well, anyway, it wasn't a good scene.

I don't know if she heard anything I said. She did
admit doing it, in the end, but she was crying pretty hard. Abbie, I honestly didn't want her to cry, just to come clean that she had been lying to me. I guess I didn't realize until we had the fight that she had also been lying to herself. I tried to tell her that she is worth something, and she shouldn't just throw her life away. Apparently she's been trying to reach her mother, but the woman has been too busy to see her own daughter, for some reason. Parents can really screw you around sometimes. I should know. My dad hasn't actually found time to speak to me in months. And Cleo does have someone on her side. I mean, the chick's mother might be an idiot but at least her grandmother loves her.

Anyway, when she got mad she threw something at me. If she comes to talk to you, maybe you can tell her I have it.

I guess the good thing is that I didn't kick any walls in this time.

Logan

November 28

Kip G.

Hi Abbie,

It's just me again. Kip. I can't find you and I need to tell you something important. Logan is gone. Dr. Valens
stopped by and signed him out this afternoon and his mom came and picked him up. It was so sudden! I think he was surprised. He came in and gave me all his car drawings. They are not cartoons, Abbie. This is Very Important to remember. His mom was all dressed up when she came to get him, but I don't think he wanted to get dressed up, too. I thought he might be happier to go home, but he looked a bit sad. He couldn't find you or Jacqueline to say goodbye to. I pretended I was you and gave him a hug and he pretended to be mad but I know he wasn't really.

I'm sad he's gone. Do you think he'll come to visit me?

From,

Kip

November 28

Cleopatra Jones

11:56 p.m.

Abbie, I don't really know what to say. But whatever I say, I want to do it now — before my birthday actually gets here. I'm so sorry I let you down. And I'm even sorry I called Logan a snivelling, sneaking, spying slime, too. I was going to apologize to him in person when we'd both cooled down a bit, but then
Kip told me he had been discharged. He'll probably never come back here again. I wouldn't if I was him.

It was so nice of you to stay late tonight to make time to talk with me. You were right. Stooping to collecting… you know what… was a sign that things have gotten a bit out of control.

But you have no idea how gross these nurses can be. I mean, I've been here for almost a month now and I've gotten pretty used to Medusa and her moods. I'm not sure I believe you when you say they want the best for me. Well, I guess I do know they want the best, but they don't always find the nicest way to go about it. I knew they were monitoring my food intake once they took out the naso-gastric feeding tube. I just didn't know they kept track of my food output, too.

So thank you for speaking up for me. I truly won't put any more dog poop in the toilet, I swear. It's too disgusting to collect, anyway. I just wanted to pay Medusa back for doing something so dehumanizing and personally embarrassing to me. I know it was wrong. I even knew it at the time. I know she really wants the best for me and I'm not the easiest patient in the world. And writing the Sick Kids' Manifesto got me thinking about taking power into my own hands. So when I got the idea, I just couldn't resist.

I know, I know. It was a really stupid idea. And now I AM sorry.

Not only that, Abbie, but I am going to get better. Really. I've put my mind to it, and you know what a good mind I have! I realize now that this was not behaviour befitting anyone named Jacqueline Hornby-Moss. Which brings me to my last point.

I can't believe I am actually writing this, but Logan was right about one thing. ONLY one thing, but still.

I AM proud of my Nona. And I am proud of my name. My mother named me for one of the most beautiful women who has ever lived. I know I will never be able to live up to it. But no more Jacqueline Hornby-Moss. It's reality time, and you helped me see that. (I guess Logan did, too.) So thank you.

Cleo

November 29

Kip G.

Hi Abbie,

My dad is going to give me his kidney. He says that he had some tests done after my other kidney stopped working and the day before yesterday they came through as A-O-K. My mama didn't want me to worry so they saved the surprise for today. It's
Cleopatra's birthday and I get a new kidney all in one day! Jacqueline says that I should call her Cleo now, and that Jacqueline was just a dumb made-up name she has outgrown now that she is fourteen. (I like Cleo better, anyway. It's easier.)

I have to go now. I'm a little scared but not very. My dad will be in the operating room next to mine. I will see you soon, Abbie.

Love,

Kip

November 29

Cleo J.

7:03 p.m.

Happy Birthday to me.

Friday night. Perfect night for a party. Except no one remembered. You didn't come into work today, Abbie. I know you're not allowed to come in here if you have a cold and I guess you are entitled to a sick day now and again. But on my birthday?

My sister is gearing up because Miss Winter Snowflake has laryngitis and now my sister gets her moment in the spotlight. I know my mom is going crazy sewing Helena's new baton-twirling costume. And she has to worry about calling the nursing home about my grandmother. Nona is not doing well. My mother sent me flowers for my birthday, which did not make things easier, especially since she couldn't find the time to come
herself. I know she meant well, but I was pretty upset when they arrived.