Mrs. Kennedy and Me: An Intimate Memoir (54 page)

Clint Hill (left) walks with Mrs. Kennedy and family during funeral procession. President Lyndon Johnson in background.

Lining the one-and-a-quarter-mile route to the cathedral were thousands upon thousands of people, weeping. Step by step we walked, Mrs. Kennedy with her black-veiled head held high, as the people—black and white, children with parents, and elderly folks with canes—openly grieved.

The Requiem Mass at St. Matthew’s was extremely emotional. Mrs. Kennedy sat with Caroline and John on either side of her, and I sat directly behind Mrs. Kennedy. Luigi Vena, a tenor from Boston, sang “Ave Maria,” just as he had at the Kennedys’ wedding in 1953. Cardinal Cushing, who officiated, was a friend of the Kennedy family and had performed the services for Patrick’s funeral, just three and a half months earlier. During the service, at one point he referred to the president as “Dear Jack.” When he said that, it was just too much for Mrs. Kennedy, and the stoic demeanor she had displayed to this point briefly faded.

I had anticipated the need for handkerchiefs and had a couple handy. I reached from directly behind her and placed one in her hand. She used it the rest of the service.

At one point, as had happened on Saturday in the Rotunda, John got fidgety. With Mrs. Kennedy’s nod of approval, Agent Foster picked him up and took him to an anteroom. In an effort to keep him occupied, Bob had him practice his salute.

He wasn’t doing too well, still insisting once again on saluting with his left hand. It had been two weeks since his visit to Arlington Cemetery with his father on Veteran’s Day. But a Marine colonel happened to be watching, and he walked in and said, “John, you are doing it all wrong, this is the way you salute.” He demonstrated using the right hand with an emphatic gesture. Sure enough, John caught on. Six weeks of instruction by his agents with only minimal results, and just three minutes with the Marine colonel and he got it right.

When the service concluded, Mrs. Kennedy with Caroline and John, one in each hand, led the mourners from the cathedral and stood on the outside steps while the casket was removed and placed on the caisson. I was standing just behind and to the right of Senator Ted Kennedy, who was next to Mrs. Kennedy, and the children. When the casket was secured, directly in front of us, the military rendered a salute to their fallen commander in chief. I saw Mrs. Kennedy lean down to John and whisper something into his ear.

He thrust his tiny shoulders back, raised his right hand to his brow, and in an emphatic gesture never to be forgotten by anyone who saw it, just as the Marine colonel had instructed, three-year-old John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. saluted his father.

It was almost more than I could bear. I looked around and saw colonels and generals and colleagues—some of the toughest men I knew—and they too were fighting to hold back tears.

T
HE PLAN HAD
been for Caroline and John to accompany their mother to Arlington National Cemetery and ride with her. But at the last minute, Mrs. Kennedy decided to have them return to the White House. We had run out of cars, so Agents Foster and Wells located one being used by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and confiscated it for their use. Needless to say, the relationship between the Secret Service and the Joint Chiefs of Staff was rather strained for a while.

While Caroline and John went back to the White House, Mrs. Kennedy rode behind the caisson, the presidential flag, and Black Jack to Arlington National Cemetery. It was now midafternoon as we approached the cemetery. People lined the streets the entire way, and you could see their faces filled with grief, tears rolling down their cheeks. As we inched our way across Memorial Bridge, leading the mile-long procession of limousines filled with dignitaries, I looked up, straight ahead on the hill to the spot Mrs. Kennedy had chosen for the grave site. A sudden realization hit me like a punch.

I travel across this bridge two times every day, and from now on, I will be looking at President Kennedy’s grave as I cross into Virginia from Washington.

If only I had reacted quicker, run faster . . .

We arrived at the grave site and watched as the honor guard removed the president’s casket and carried it to the burial site. As we walked slowly to the burial site, I heard a sound, a slight roar, that got louder and louder as fifty Air Force and Navy jets flew over in tribute. Then, another roar, but this time the sound seemed familiar to me, that high-pitched whine of a perfectly tuned set of jet engines. It was Air Force One flying very low with Colonel Jim Swindal at the controls and the crew on board that knew and served President Kennedy so well. As Swindal dipped the wings of Air Force One in salute, I clenched my jaw. Swallowed hard.

As the service progressed, I knew there was a moment approaching and I was concerned as to how Mrs. Kennedy would react. It was the twenty-one-gun salute, three volleys by each of seven riflemen. How would she react to gunfire only three days after that sound cracked through the air in Dallas? She was standing next to Robert Kennedy near the end of the casket. I was about to walk to her when the cemetery superintendent leaned over and warned her what was about to happen.

She trembled with each and every shot, but managed to maintain her composure.

It was time to light the Eternal Flame. From the moment she started planning this heartrending day, she had the idea of an eternal flame—just like the one at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Paris. She overcame the objections and negative attitudes of everyone who said it was too complicated a job to be done in time. I was proud of her intestinal fortitude and positive attitude, which enabled her to do it. The Eternal Flame was her triumph.

She was handed a lighted torch and bent forward to ignite the flame. The fire danced as she passed the lighted torch to Bobby Kennedy, who in turn handed it to Ted, each symbolically igniting the flame. The United States flag that had draped the casket was folded and presented to Mrs. Kennedy. It was time for Taps, the final ending to a military funeral.

The bugler, standing off to the side, started playing and the sound rolled through the hills surrounding Arlington National Cemetery. He was feeling the pressure of performing before thousands in person and millions on TV. He flubbed a note and recovered quickly. I felt sorry for him, knowing he would never forget it, and the world had it recorded for posterity.

Mrs. Kennedy thanked the military commander and we entered the waiting limousine and drove back to the White House.

The day was far from over. First there was a small reception in the upstairs Yellow Oval Room, in the residence quarters, for a few special people: Charles de Gaulle; Prince Philip; Emperor Haile Selassie; Ireland’s president, Éamon de Valera. After offering her sincere thanks to these men, she went to the Red Room, where a larger reception was held for the scores of other foreign dignitaries. This involved a lot of people and I was concerned about her being able to stand the strain. If she felt it, she didn’t show it.

I thought this would certainly be the end for the day and she would go to the second-floor living quarters and retire for the night. Instead, as the reception was winding down, she motioned to me.

“Yes, Mrs. Kennedy, what can I do for you?”

“I may want to go back to Arlington later,” she whispered. “I’ll call and let you know.”

I was exhausted, and she hadn’t slept any more than I had. How she could keep this up I didn’t know. I notified Paul that we needed to make arrangements with the superintendent’s office at Arlington. This was to be completely private, and kept absolutely confidential.

When Mrs. Kennedy finally went to the second floor, I went to the Map Room and more or less collapsed in my chair. Shortly before midnight, she called.

“Yes, Mrs. Kennedy,” I answered.

“Mr. Hill, Bobby and I want to go to Arlington now. We want to see the flame.”

“Certainly, Mrs. Kennedy. I’ll get the car.”

I called Sergeant Watkins and he brought the car around. We took Mrs. Kennedy and Bobby to the cemetery as Paul followed in another car. As we drove across Memorial Bridge, there straight ahead of us flickering on the hillside was the Eternal Flame. It was a moving, very emotional sight.

We drove up to the site and walked to the grave. Mrs. Kennedy had brought a small bouquet of flowers, and she placed them on the fresh earth. Mrs. Kennedy and Bobby knelt and prayed, then stood and looked back across the Potomac at the lights of the memorials. We all got back in the car, and returned to the White House.

No press, no public, complete privacy. Just the way Mrs. Kennedy wanted it.

Clint Hill watches as Mrs. Kennedy visits her husband’s gravesite

T
he days following the funeral are somewhat of a blur. I was physically exhausted and emotionally drained. I had kept my emotions buried. I could not let Mrs. Kennedy, the other agents, or anyone else, for that matter, be aware of exactly how I felt. I had to be strong and hold up the tradition of the Service. Mrs. Kennedy had been traumatized and she was being so strong. I couldn’t break down. But the truth was, I was overcome with guilt, a feeling of failure, and a sense of responsibility for not being able to prevent the assassination.

There was no time to grieve, no counseling, no time off. Keeping busy was the only thing that was keeping me going. It was the best medicine I had.

Mrs. Kennedy was staying busy, too. She knew she had to move out of the White House—the Johnsons had told her to take her time, but she said she would leave after Thanksgiving, on December 6. There were so many decisions that had to be made, so much for her to think about. Even though she had the help of Mary Gallagher, and Provi, as well as her staff and the president’s staff, the final decisions were all hers to make. Where to live? What to do with the dogs, the horses? But first, she had to go see the president’s father in Hyannis Port.

On Thursday, November 28, Agent Bob Foster and I took Mrs. Kennedy, Caroline, and John to Arlington to visit the grave site. Mrs. Kennedy’s sister Lee, Provi, and Miss Shaw came along. To see the children at the grave of their father—hollow eyes, a three-year-old’s questions, no more rides on the helicopter. It was gut-wrenching. It was Thanksgiving Day.

Agents Landis, Meredith, and Wells had flown ahead to the Cape, and after our brief visit to Arlington, we boarded an Air Force aircraft at Andrews to Hyannis Port. It was an extremely emotional time. Mrs. Kennedy was so close to the ambassador and always before, her visits had been a shining light in his days. Now there was no light in anyone’s eyes. This was the third child Ambassador and Rose Kennedy had lost in violent death. Son Joe in World War II, daughter Kathleen, known as “Kick,” in an airplane crash, and now the president to an assassin’s bullet. What was there to be thankful for?

Paul and I and the children’s agents had assumed we would stay with Mrs. Kennedy and the children until she left the White House. After that, we didn’t know what was going to happen. None of us could bear the thought of leaving them.

S
UNDAY
, D
ECEMBER
1, we headed back to Washington. Earlier in November, my wife, Gwen, had found a new apartment in Alexandria—one with more space, for just a few dollars more a month. Unbeknownst to me, George Dalton and Jim Bartlett, two Navy men that handled the boats at Hyannis Port—Jim had been the one who had valiantly tried to teach me to water-ski—had shown up on the doorstep and helped Gwen move. I arrived home to the new apartment, piled high with boxes, and beyond grateful for the kindness of two friends.