Mr Nice: an autobiography (62 page)

I enjoyed the next visit from my parents, but my father had a strange tale to yell through the glass. Bob Edwardes had received a booking at his La Vileta restaurant from someone claiming to be the aide of Prince Khalid of Saudi Arabia. The aide was staying at the Valparaiso Hotel, Palma. On some pretext, Bob rang up the hotel, who confirmed that Prince Khalid was a guest and that his aide had indeed made a booking at the La Vileta restaurant. The phoney Prince, the aide, a bodyguard, and an attractive American blonde turned up and ate a Sunday lunch. Amidst brief courtesies, Bob was asked to join the table. Prince Khalid’s stand-in told
Bob that he was under orders from his uncle, the brother of King Fahd and Minister of Defence in the Saudi Government, to do what he could to release me and Judy from prison. He claimed to be able to use the Saudi Arabian royal family’s good offices within the Spanish Government as a way of solving the problem as well as having several million dollars available for any expenses. Meetings at the Valparaiso Hotel followed, including one in which Masha and the children were invited to a private tea. The normally public terrace had been especially closed off for the occasion. Bob was asked by the aide to go to Geneva and pick up funds to use for my present needs. They met at La Réserve. The aide began prevaricating, and Bob smelt a rat. Bob flew back to Palma and heard no more.

‘I’m darned if I can work it out,’ said Dad. ‘You know some odd fellows, you do.’

‘I’ve no idea what it’s about, Dad.’

I still haven’t worked it out.

Yoga, meditation, hashish, and the bizarrely unexpected are an invigorating combination, and I was in fairly good mental shape when I was summoned to the Audiencia Nacional for the Comisión Rogatoria with Lovato and O’Neill. They were accompanied by El Fiscal, the Spanish prosecutor, and looking confident, smug, and contented. Gustavo sat close by looking solemn. The judge explained that they had the right to ask me questions. I had the right not to answer. Did I intend to answer any questions? I said I did not. The judge said the proceedings were closed. Lovato whispered a few sentences to El Fiscal, who then asked if Lovato and O’Neill could have an informal talk with me. The judge stood up and said his function had finished. He washed his hands of any further proceedings and walked out of the court. El Fiscal told the guards to leave and wait outside the door and then asked Gustavo if he wanted to stay. Gustavo refused to answer, but he stayed. Lovato and O’Neill extended their hands. I shook them. Lovato seemed to have put on weight. O’Neill was young, good-looking, and short. Lovato spoke.

‘Howard, I don’t blame you for not answering questions in front of the judge. My intention was to have a private talk
with you in response to the note you wrote asking me to visit you. In the past, the Spanish authorities would allow me to visit incarcerated individuals, but now we have to do it this way. Your lawyer submitted a request to the court to ask Bob and me some questions you had. Bob and I will now answer them if you wish.’

‘Gustavo, what shall we ask them?’

‘I advise you not to say anything, Howard. This is most irregular.’

‘I’ve read some of the newspaper reports of your pleas for Judith’s release,’ continued Lovato, ‘and I feel I have to inform you that we, as the United States Government, cannot negotiate any matter involving her release. Plea-bargaining is illegal in this country and will have to wait until you are on United States territory. However, it is undoubtedly in both your and your wife’s interests to cease opposing extradition and come voluntarily to Florida. The United States Government would not oppose Judith being granted bail if she came to Miami. We could plea-bargain both your sentences. Judith could visit you while you remained incarcerated in Miami Metropolitan Correctional Center. She could have the children with her. All this prison time you’re both doing in Spain is just dead time. None of it will be deducted from the prison sentences you will receive. Isn’t that right, Bob?’

‘I believe that is correct, yes, but I’m not a sentencing expert,’ said O’Neill.

‘Is that right, Gustavo?’ I asked.

Gustavo said nothing. He carried on writing, taking down every word that was said.

‘Why have you charged me with the 1973 speaker scam?’ I asked. ‘I’ve already done a sentence for that.’

‘We, the United States Government, don’t recognise foreign convictions,’ answered Lovato.

‘Why is that load of marijuana in Vancouver anything to do with America? Have you stopped recognising foreign countries as well?’

‘Well, Canada is close to us. But besides that we have evidence to show that the same product was sold in California. It is the United States Government’s belief that the consignment was destined for distribution within its borders. This gives us jurisdiction. We have long arms, Howard.’

‘Mr O’Neill, does the Sentencing Reform Act apply to these charges?’

‘Call me Bob, Howard. I feel more comfortable that way. It’s a good question. The simple answer is “I don’t know.” I wouldn’t want to mislead you. But if the Act did apply, your mandatory sentence would, of course, be life. If it did not apply, then you would be subject to a maximum of 145 years.’

‘It’s a long time either way, Howard,’ said Lovato. ‘Come to the United States now and start making it shorter, maybe a lot shorter.’

‘I don’t think Spain is going to extradite me. With due respect, I don’t think you’re too confident of it either; otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to persuade me to come voluntarily.’

‘It’s just for your own good, Howard. I hate to see you doing dead time.’

O’Neill broke in. ‘Howard, I’ll be frank with you. One of the reasons we want you there quickly is that the trial of your co-defendants is scheduled to begin early next year. For reasons of economy, we’d like to try you at the same time. If I was you, I’d want a multi-defendant trial, too, rather than be the only one facing the jury. But I’m not going to even attempt to coax you. It’s your decision. But I’m interested why you don’t think Spain will extradite you. Why won’t they?’

‘Because I’m charged with RICO, money-laundering, and conspiracy. None of these are crimes in Spain.’

‘That’s irrelevant. They are in the United States,’ said Lovato.

‘But for Spain to extradite,’ I argued, ‘it has to recognise them as crimes.’

‘Howard, I’m not commenting on the advice you may have received from your excellent attorney Señor Gustavo Lopez Munoz y Larraz here, but you have to do the time, not him. Forget the legal bullshit that happens in these courts. You will be extradited. Spain already upset us by not extraditing Ochoa. Spain realised it made a mistake. Spain will not upset the United States Government in that way again. Rely on it.’

‘Still the big guy on the block, Craig?’

‘You better believe it, Howard.’

‘Unless there are further questions, I think we’d better leave, Agent Lovato,’ said O’Neill.

El Fiscal brought the guards back, and they took me to a lawyers’ visiting cubicle to see Gustavo.

‘Howard, I have never seen anything like that in my life. The judge’s behaviour was atrocious. I will ensure that an official complaint is made. I will tell the newspapers today. But forget that, for I have good news for you.’

‘What?’

‘I am sure we can now get Judy bail.’

‘Why? What has changed?’

‘A number of your co-defendants, including all the females, have been granted bail by the American authorities. Even Judy’s brother, Patrick Lane, has been offered release on bail for a $1,000,000 bond. Another co-defendant, James Newton, has been released on bail by the British authorities. I have received many compelling letters from doctors, psychiatrists, and residents of Mallorca expressing concern about the plight of your children. It will soon be Christmas; even judges can be human. I have excellent reason to believe Judy will be granted bail. The application may prove to be a little expensive, but it will succeed.’

‘That’s great news, Gustavo. Thank you.’

‘There is more good news. A short time ago France
requested the extradition of a man found in Spain. The offence was international credit-card fraud. Spain denied extradition on the basis that he could be tried equally well in Spain.’

‘Presumably, though, Gustavo, he had been charged by the Spanish authorities for the same offence. Spain hasn’t charged me with anything. We can’t make them charge me, can we?’

‘That is where you are wrong, Howard. We can ensure you are charged through
acción popular
, a method by which Spaniards can petition a court to force the police to prosecute. There has been a great deal of coverage of your case in the Spanish newspapers. Everyone knows Marco Polo, believe me. There were plenty of references to caves of hashish in the Costa Brava. Your headquarters were in Palma de Mallorca. You must have broken Spanish law, so why send you to Florida rather than try you here? My professional colleagues resent what they see as an example of judicial colonisation: America administering our system of justice. Spain’s legal system is perfectly adequate, yet it is treated like that of an incompetent banana republic.’

‘If I was charged here, what sentence would I get?’

‘You would not even get convicted, but the maximum sentence in Spain for any cannabis offence is six years. You would be out after serving two.’

‘What about Judy?’

‘She would be immediately released.’

‘What’s the next step, Gustavo?’

‘We get forty signatures from people outraged at the extent of drug trafficking taking place within Spain and furious with the Spanish Government for abrogating its responsibility to deal with the problem. They demand that you, Judy, and Kenion be charged for the crimes you have committed in Spain. On the strength of this, a lawyer will submit an
acción popular
to the court. It mustn’t be me, obviously, but it will be a very good friend. The arguments will be mine. He will simply sign and submit it.’

‘Okay. Let’s do it. It sounds wonderful. Anything else?’

‘Yes. I have tried and tried to understand RICO. I cannot. If I cannot, the Audiencia Nacional will not be able to. But they will pretend to understand and say it’s perfectly proper to extradite you for such a charge. I suggest we bring to next year’s extradition hearing an American lawyer, one sympathetic to your position, who is a qualified expert on RICO. The Audiencia Nacional will then be forced to accept that RICO has no equivalent whatsoever in Spanish law and is an unextraditable charge. I could probably find such a lawyer, but maybe you know of one.’

‘That’s a good idea, Gustavo. I’m sure I could find one.’

‘Also, Howard, I think we should ask the Audiencia Nacional to allow us to present Bernard Simons at the extradition hearing so that he can explain to the court that you have already done a sentence for the 1973 speaker scam.’

‘Okay. What about this rule about not extraditing from Spain someone who might end up with a sentence of more than thirty years? I’m apparently facing the possibility of life, or with a bit of luck, 145 years.’

‘The United States Government will give an assurance to the Audiencia Nacional that you will not receive a sentence greater than thirty years, but it doesn’t mean very much. If the Americans get you across the Atlantic, it’s a different ball game, as they themselves say. But, Howard, you will not be extradited. The
acción popular
will work, if nothing else.’

‘I hope so, Gustavo. Is there any other news?’

‘Yes. I received a call from Marcus yesterday. He had spoken to Katz, who is now in Miami. Katz has got copies of all the evidence the prosecution intend presenting against your co-defendants. He is bringing it here soon.’

‘I’ll go through it with a toothcomb, Gustavo. Anything else?’

‘That’s it.’

Gustavo’s lawyer friend submitted the
acción popular
to the court. To add more force to the petitioners’ arguments,
I capitalised on my newsworthiness and wrote long letters to Spanish newspapers complaining how the Americans had thwarted my plans to turn Mallorca into the Hong Kong of the Mediterranean. Fabulously wealthy Far Eastern businessmen and Saudi Arabian princes had approved plans to invest colossal sums of money building final-stage assembly plants, leisure parks, and luxury hotels. The letters were published on a couple of front pages. As expected, they were interpreted as proof of my wicked desires to flood the country with drug money. I gave interviews to the Spanish magazine
Panorama
, stating that Spain was a paradise for drug users and traffickers and that I had personally smuggled into Spain large quantities of dope. Gustavo got a few more ‘enraged citizens’ to submit these newspaper and magazine articles to the court as further evidence of the dire need for me to be busted by the Spanish.