Mr. Monk Is Open for Business (22 page)

I watched as he put the fan cleaner back in the closet and waited for him to settle into the desk on his side of the room.
I laced my hands behind my head and was pleased when he did the same, leaning back in his perfectly adjusted, ergonomically designed chair. “This is nice,” he said, without any coaxing from me.

“Very nice,” I said. “We’re partners now with our own office and money in the bank and two big cases under our belts.”

“Actually, they were pretty much the same case,” he mused.

“No, they weren’t.”

“Deductively, yes. They hinged on the same deduction. Sarabeth fooled us with a person who didn’t exist. So did Henry. I mean his wife used to exist. But we couldn’t solve either case until we realized that both of these unseen people were made up.”

“I like the way you say
we
.”

“Did I say
we
?”

“You did.”

“I don’t think so.”

My cell phone rang. Otherwise I might have pursued the point. “Randy. I’m so glad you called.” I threw Monk a single thumbs-up. He threw back a symmetrical two.

“Hey, Natalie.” It was Randy Disher, of course. “Just wanted to congratulate you on your surprise grand opening.”

“Thanks so much. How did you find out?”

“Your new intern told me.”

“Whoa. Is that what she said? Julie is not our intern.” I was going to have to have another talk with that young woman.

“Sorry. Future intern.” I could hear another voice in the background. “Sharona sends her best. We wish we could have been there.”

“I understand. A police chief’s job is never done.”

“That’s true,” he said, and the words sounded heartfelt.

I suddenly realized that I hadn’t spoken to Randy since Monk had solved the case with the Summit chefs. “So, how’s it going? Is everything back to normal?”

“It depends what you mean by normal.”

Augh. When will I learn not to ask that question?

“It’s not normal,” I could hear Sharona shouting in the background. “Believe me.”

“She’s right,” said Randy. “It’s very not-normal when you’re a police chief and mistakenly arrest the mayor for murder.”

“But that’s all fixed,” I said. “Monk arrested Ellen’s brother and the mayor was let go.”

“It’s not really fixed.” Randy sighed. “This is a small town. The mayor hates my guts and everyone else is treating me like a piranha.”

“I think you mean pariah.”

“Sorry, pariah. You know, one of those man-eating fish everybody steers clear of.”

“No, that’s a piranha.”

“That’s what I said. Anyway, the town’s not going to forget it. Last week, I was in the Founders’ Day parade down Springfield Avenue. Some kids snuck up and spray-painted clown balloons all over my car.”

“Oh no. Did you at least catch them?”

“Uh, no. It’s still an open case. I tell you, Natalie, this is going to be with me forever.”

“No, it’s not,” I told him. “You’ve been doing a great job.”

“Maybe in the past. Now they’re second-guessing
everything I do. Even my officers are. If I ever have to arrest the mayor again, I’m going to lose all credibility. It’s just like Pee-wee Herman.”

“Pee-wee Herman?”

“You know, the guy with the TV kids’ show. Years of great entertainment, a couple of big movies. And all people remember is that he got busted doing things in a porn movie theater.”

“You are not Pee-wee Herman.”

“Yes, I am. I’m Pee-wee. One mistake and Summit is never going to take me seriously again. To be honest, I’m thinking about quitting. Just leaving.”

“They don’t deserve you,” shouted Sharona in the background.

“What? No.” Why was everybody suddenly thinking about quitting? “Randy, you can’t quit. You’ve put too much work into this. What will you do if you quit?”

“I don’t know, but anything’s better than this. I could come back to San Francisco. At least I have family there.”

“What is it?” Monk asked. “What’s wrong with Randy? What?”

I covered the phone and took a deep breath. In the background, I could hear Randy going on about Pee-wee Herman and credibility and how maybe he wasn’t meant to be the guy in charge.

“Adrian, hold your horses. I’ll tell you
later.”