Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire (9 page)

And so the heroes made their way back up Hangman's Leap with Mr Gum and Billy William tied firmly to Jake's furry back. When finally they
reached the top of the cliff Alan Taylor cleared his throat to make a speech and also to get rid of a whelk that had got in there.

‘Polly,' he began, ‘if it weren't for you I never would have discovered the true meaning of
friendship
.'

‘Eh?' said Polly in surprise.

‘It's true,' said Alan Taylor, holding up a small shiny object for all to see. ‘For you gave me this fifty pence piece, though it was all the money
you had in the world. And as I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself I realised it is friendship that is important in life, not money.'

He handed Polly back her coin and then continued.

‘Now,' he speeched. ‘Time to do something I should have done a long time ago. This –' he said, holding up the biscuit tin, ‘this has brought me only misery and it's stopped me from seeing what true friends are, and things like that.'

And before anyone could stop him he took the lid off the tin and flung its contents into the wind. Everyone watched in awe as the money tumbled out and went flying over the ocean like expensive seagulls.

All those millions. It seemed to take forever but eventually Alan Taylor was left with an empty biscuit tin – and something else. For a moment Polly couldn't think what it was but then she understood.

Why,
she thought,
I never once seen him smilin' before! Not a proper smile from the heart.

For a great burden seemed to have fallen from Alan Taylor's shoulders. As the sun came out, he grinned from ear to ear and he looked to Polly like the richest man alive.

A
ll of a sudden Mr Gum and Billy William started straining at their ropes and trying to escape, their faces pale with fright.

‘It's h-him,' stuttered Mr Gum, pointing to a great haystack he could have sworn hadn't
been there a moment earlier. A little boy was climbing out of it, laughing with delight, and as he approached the last of the clouds seemed to disappear from the sky.

And now, a lovely warm feeling came over Polly as if someone were baking lasagne in her veins. She felt that all the wrongs of the world would be righted and all the rights of the world would carry on being right and perhaps become even more right somehow. She looked at Alan
Taylor and Friday and saw they felt it too.

‘Spirit of the Rainbow!' laughed Polly, clapping her hands. ‘Can it really be you?'

‘Yes, child,' he said, though he was no older than she. ‘You and your friends have done well and learned lessons. Once more the world is glowing with happy colours.'

‘Sir, we have never met before,' said Alan Taylor with a respectful bow. ‘Yet you seem familiar, as if I have seen you in brief moments of happiness.'

‘It may be so,' replied the Spirit of the Rainbow with his honest mouth. ‘For whenever a baby dribbles with joy, I am there. Whenever a cat jumps into a cardboard box and makes everyone laugh, I am there. Whenever someone blows a bubble and it rises on the wind and
doesn't pop for ages, I am there. And now, old man,' he said, turning to Friday, ‘look around this cliff top for I believe there are plants of healing to be found which will ease your wounded legs.'

Looking around Friday saw a clump of enormous green dock leaves which he could have sworn hadn't been there a moment earlier. He rubbed them on his legs and instantly the angry white blisters were gone and his legs were better than ever and not so hairy.

Then the Spirit of the Rainbow turned to address the robbers.

‘Robbers,' he began earnestly, ‘when will you realise that the world is a place of harmony and getting along with people? For your greed has undone you and now –'

‘Spirit!
'called a voice from over the hills.
‘Come on or we'll be late!'

‘Oops,' said the Spirit of the Rainbow, looking at his watch. ‘I've gotta go or my Mum'll
kill me. We're visting my Aunt.'

And he chucked them a handful of fruit chews and off he ran.

It was a long walk back to Lamonic Bibber but it was a happy one. Friday got out his favourite flute and played a march called ‘The Captain of the
Ants' and Alan Taylor surprised everyone by pointing out features of the landscape and teaching them about the natural world as they went.

‘See that?' he said, pointing to a rock. ‘That is a rock. And those colourful things over there? They are known as flowers.'

‘Why, you're a changed man,' said Friday in wonder.

‘Yes, I love learning and education,' said Alan Taylor. ‘All that money made me forget how
much I REALLY have to offer the world.'

But here's the thing. In all the fun and learning Mr Gum and Billy William were forgotten and they managed to escape by sawing through the ropes with their sharp fingernails.

‘Let's get out of here, Caterpillar Joe,' whispered Mr Gum and off they tiptoed in their hobnail boots. And where they went nobody knows but the wind.

I
t was nearly sunset when the heroes finally reached Lamonic Bibber once more.

‘Look,' said Polly happily. All the good people of the town were out on the streets, rejoicing and waving flags and playing kiss chase.
And the town square was full of long wooden benches laden with food.

‘There seems to be a feast going on,' said Alan Taylor.

‘Not just any feast,' remarked Friday. ‘Today must be the first day of autumn. It's the Festival of the Leaves!'

‘Oh, I forgot all about the Festival of the Leaves!' said Polly. ‘I loves it so!'

‘It's true,' announced the warm voice of David Casserole, the town mayor. ‘Look, the first leaf fell today. Who shall be this year's King of Autumn?' he challenged, holding up the little golden leaf.

‘The Biscuit Billionaire!' responded the crowd. ‘The Biscuit Billionaire! Now that he's got his money back we can have funfairs again!'

‘No,' said Alan Taylor, climbing on to Friday's head for more speech action. ‘I'm no longer a rich man,' he told the crowd. ‘But if you can find it in your hearts to love me for who I am, I will turn my
mansion into a school called
Saint Pterodactyl's School For The Poor
and I will teach all the poor children and orphans about education and learning. And no one will tease anyone there or call each other bad names,' he added firmly.

‘Fair enough!' shouted the crowd.

‘You are truly our King of Autumn!' boomed David Casserole, pinning the leaf on to Alan Taylor's chest whilst pretty ladies crowned him with acorns and conkers. And Alan Taylor grinned happily as he led the townsfolk in a merry jig, for finally he had been accepted.

Well, there wasn't much to say after all that. It was a time for feasts and rejoicing. Friday played the piano that stood in the town square and Old Granny fell over from too much sherry and everyone saw the weird veins in her old legs, and
Jonathan Ripples found a red notebook a-lying on the ground. He turned to the front page and read:

‘Hmm,' he frowned, chewing on a roast ox leg, ‘I recognise this handwriting.'

He found Martin Launderette cowering behind a lamp post and took him to one side.

‘Martin,' he said, holding up the notebook, ‘this isn't very nice.'

‘I know,' said Martin Launderette, with a sigh. ‘I'm ashamed of myself.'

‘I'm afraid I'm going to have to sit on you now to teach you a lesson,' said Jonathan Ripples sadly. ‘This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you.'

But how wrong can you be? It didn't hurt Jonathan Ripples one bit.