Mr. February (11 page)

What they’d intended to be sex and only sex, a way to get out of each other’s systems, had become much, much more. For her, anyway.

What to do? Hiding her feelings seemed the safest route. Jillian had never been good at that, but for her sake, she must.

*

Blown away by the best sex of his life, Rafe pulled Jillian closer. “That was off the charts.”

“We were pretty amazing.”

He tipped up her chin and kissed her sexy mouth. “Give me time to recover. Then we’ll do it again.”

For some reason, she tensed up and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Better not. I should probably get home.”

Caught off guard, he frowned. “Do you have something scheduled?”

“Work. I’m a little behind on my inventory for the Arts Festival.” She still wouldn’t look at him.

His gut twisted. “Something’s wrong.”

“It’s just… We said one time.”

“Maybe once isn’t enough.”

Not for him. By Jillian’s passionate response and enthusiastic participation, she’d liked having sex with him. A lot. He nuzzled the sensitive crook of her shoulder, pleased when she moaned and tilted her head to the side to give him better access. She wanted more, too.

“What if I want to spend the rest of the day and all night in bed with you?” he said, moving to kiss her lips again.

“I can’t, Rafe.” Pulling out of his arms and taking the blanket with her, she scrambled out of bed.

Confused, he sat up. “I don’t understand. You enjoyed making love as much as I did.”

In the process of wrapping the king-size cover around herself—no easy task—she glanced at him. “That’s true.” She bit her lip then looked away.

Rafe stood and helped her secure the blanket under her arms. She smelled good, a combination of their lovemaking and her special woman scent.

“You’re hiding something,” he said, going commando as he stepped into his jeans. “Spit it out, Jillian.”

“I shouldn’t.”

He got into her face, and she had to meet his eyes. “Talk to me.”

She muttered something about being a lousy liar then sighed. “Since you won’t let this go… I’m afraid to have sex with you again.”

Her words totally surprised him. “You’re afraid of me?” He scoffed. “When you screamed my name during your three orgasms, you sure didn’t seem scared.”

This time, she looked directly at him. “I’m not talking about you, Rafe. As big and powerful as you are, I know you’d ne never hurt me. You were passionate, considerate, tender—the best lover I could ever want. I loved what we did. Every second of it.”

“So what’s the deal?”

She cleared her throat a couple of times, as if the next words were difficult to get out. “This is about me and my feelings for you.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. “You said they were purely sexual.”

“I wanted them to be.”

Aw, hell,
she’d fallen for him. He’d never guessed. Or maybe he’d wanted her so much, he’d turned a blind eye. Either way, this was not good.

Rafe scrubbed his hand over his face and fumbled for the right words. “You know I like you a lot. But for me, that’s as far as it goes.”

“And it’s okay.” Still clutching the blanket tightly around her, she retrieved her jeans and panties from the carpet. “If you don’t mind bringing me my bra, shirt, ankle boots, and socks, I’ll get dressed in your bathroom.”

In the living room downstairs, his mind reeling, Rafe tugged his T-shirt over his head, collected Jillian’s things, and returned to the bedroom. The bathroom door was closed. He knocked. “I have your things.”

The door opened wide enough for her to snatch her stuff before it clicked shut again.

Rafe straightened and remade the bed. Sitting on the edge of it, he smacked his forehead with his palm. Dammit, he hadn’t wanted this awkwardness between them. He certainly hadn’t intended to hurt her.

That’s what he got for letting his crazy lust for her color his judgment.

He figured she wouldn’t want to see him again. He wasn’t happy about that, but the way things stood, keeping a distance seemed the best option.

Still, as future neighbors, they were bound to run into each other. Would they be able to exchange hellos without suffering through uncomfortable stiffness and tension?

Rafe had no idea. He only knew he’d screwed up, big-time.

Chapter Fourteen

‡

A
t least she wouldn’t have to pretend she didn’t have deep feelings for Rafe, Jillian consoled herself as she dressed in his bathroom.

Standing at the mirror to smooth her hair, she couldn’t help noting her pink, slightly swollen lips and flushed skin. The image of a thoroughly loved woman.

In the physical sense, she was.

Rafe was waiting for her. Time to quit hiding in here, go out and face him. Ignoring the painful ache in her chest, she opened the door and re-entered the bedroom.

He sprang up from the bed, which, of course, he’d made. The tightly tucked sheets and blanket erased any signs of their passionate afternoon.

He scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t know what to say. Don’t ask me to apologize for what happened. I’m not sorry.”

Neither was Jillian. Making love with Rafe had opened her eyes to the truth—she’d loved him long before today. “You didn’t force me to come here, Rafe. I chose to. There’s nothing more to add, except good-bye.”

“I don’t like leaving things this way.”

Hating the concern in his eyes, she forced a brave smile. “I really am okay.”

After a long, searching look, he gave a terse nod. Jillian headed downstairs, leaving him to follow or not. Of course, he did.

She picked her purse up from the living room floor and searched for the car key for an embarrassingly long time before she finally found it.

“Drive safe,” Rafe said at the front door.

“I will.”

She made her way down the walkway, toward her car. The sinking sun cast long shadows over the new spring grass.

Rafe stayed in the doorway, watching as she slid into the driver’s seat, started the car, and backed away, out of the driveway and his life.

*

Thursday afternoon, Sonia ushered Rafe into her plush office with a big smile. “I can’t wait to show you the preliminary blueprints for the house. How about a cup of coffee and a doughnut?”

After Rafe accepted both, she pulled an extra chair up beside hers and motioned for him to join her at the computer. As he sat down, he caught a whiff of her perfume, a seductive scent meant to stir a man’s interest. He wasn’t interested.

He was still smarting from what had happened after yesterday’s phenomenal sex. The fallout from hell.

It had been almost twenty-four hours since Jillian had left his place, and he felt worse than before. He wondered about Jillian, and whether it was this bad for her.

“Let’s start with the second story.” Sonia tapped the keyboard. “First, a bird’s-eye view of the master suite. You’ll notice that I incorporated the home office on the other side of the master bath, exactly as you requested.”

Rafe nodded. She switched to a more detailed outline of the suite. “The bedroom, bathroom, and office all face Guff’s Lake for a stunning view.” She pointed out the floor-to-ceiling windows in each room. “And, of course, the deck off the bedroom allows you to sit outside and enjoy coffee or a meal while you take in the view.”

She’d done an excellent job incorporating Rafe’s ideas, yet he couldn’t muster up much enthusiasm. “It’s nice,” he said.

“Just nice?” Sonia gave him a funny look. “You don’t like it.”

Pulling himself together, Rafe smiled. “You’ve done an excellent job. Show me more.”

*

At breakfast Thursday morning, JR frowned. “What’s with you today, Jill?” Chelsea was still asleep. “You seem down.”

No kidding. Refusing to let her stupidity get the best of her, Jillian stretched and yawned, as if all was right with the world. “I stayed up late last night, working. I’m tired.”

“You think you’re tired… My whole body aches. I wish I could stay home and rest today, but Zach and Rafe want the job finished as soon as possible. That means I’ll be working Saturday and probably Sunday.”

“Those mind-focus tricks he wanted to teach you would probably help,” Jillian pointed out. “But you wouldn’t even let him show you how to use them.”

“He told you about that? You asked him to keep an eye on me, didn’t you?” JR’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t like you spying on me.”

In no mood for her brother’s prickly ways, Jillian rolled her eyes. “Rafe wouldn’t spy on you, and I would never ask him to.” From now on, they wouldn’t be talking about anything, period. “Don’t forget to ask Zach for a permanent job.”

A scowl darkened JR’s face. “Like I haven’t thought about that. I know you’re disappointed in me.”

“Oh, stop it. I am not.”

The only person disappointing Jillian was her own foolish self, for making love with Rafe when she knew better. She tried for a friendlier tone. “I could use more tea. Do you have time for another cup of coffee?”

“Not really, but I’ll take some in my thermos. I’m no slacker, Jill, so lay off. And stop giving me dirty looks.”

“Dirty looks?” Jillian’s temper snapped. “Quit being so defensive. I’m not Dad, and not everything is about you!”

Her brother jerked back as if she’d slapped him, and she knew her angry tone had shocked him.

“You don’t have to yell,” he said.

“Then get off my case.”

“You sound like me.” He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue, his way of trying to make her laugh. She couldn’t quite summon a smile.

He started to say something else, but she cut him off. “Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it.”

His expression turned stony. “Keep your damn coffee. I’m out of here.”

Chapter Fifteen

‡

S
aturday dawned another warm, dry day, the tenth in a row without rain. Already the earth was hard and dusty—not a good omen for the upcoming summer and fire season, but a good day for a run.

Mid-morning, Rafe and Calvin met Hank and Gus on the dirt patch near his land. Although he didn’t see Zach’s truck, he heard a bulldozer.

“I haven’t seen my building site since Sunday,” he said. “Let’s head down there and check it out.”

Hank shrugged. “Sounds good.”

“And then loop around and pass by Jillian’s, like we did last time,” Gus added.

Rafe had no intention of going near her place. “You haven’t seen the other side of my property,” he said as he leashed Calvin. “Why don’t we head there instead?”

His buds shared a look. “So you decided to leave Jillian alone,” Hank said.

Not about to explain, Rafe whistled, signaling his dog to run. Calvin yipped, and they took off.

As soon as Rafe’s two pals caught up, Gus said, “You had sex with her.”

He and Hank grinned, but one look at Rafe’s face and their smiles vanished.

Gus was starting to breathe hard now, but that didn’t stop his nosy mouth from moving. “So you struck out.”

Rafe ran for several minutes before replying. “Let’s say, she’s falling for me.”

Barely winded, Hank shrugged. “Sooner or later, they all do.”

“Not if I can help it.”

Rafe’s shins were beginning to burn. Within moments, the pain grew too intense to ignore. He tried mindful observation, but he was too distracted to focus. Swearing, he tugged on Calvin’s leash and slowed to a walk. “Shin splints,” he grumbled.

Hank and Gus followed suit, Gus shaking his head. “That’s what you get for taking off without stretching. What’s your plan?”

“Like I told you, check on JR and then run through the rest of the property.”

“I mean, about Jillian.”

“Follow the captain’s advice.”

“You should have done that before you hopped into the sack with her.”

Rafe glared at the fool.

Unperturbed, Gus calmly eyed him. “You’re in one hell of a shitty mood.”

Rafe had never felt so rotten in his life, as if darkness shrouded the world.

Hank frowned. “Out with it, man. What’d she do, screw you over somehow?”

“She wouldn’t do that. The thing is, I really like her.”

“So you said a couple weeks ago.” For a moment, Gus looked pensive. Then the know-it-all hooted. “Well, well. This is something I never thought to see—Rafe Donato in love.”

“You’re full of crap.” Ignoring his smarting shins, Rafe whistled to Calvin. They took off again.

The drone of the bulldozer had died, and suddenly the wind kicked up. Rafe smelled smoke. He ground to a halt and sniffed the air, trying to pinpoint the direction. “Do you smell that?”

“Yep. It’s coming from your property—there.” Gus gestured through the trees at the acrid smoke billowing upward. “Go. I’ll phone it in.”

Rafe, Calvin, and Hank took off at a dead run.

*

Jillian was moping over a cup of tea Saturday morning, when Shannon called. “It’s such a gorgeous day. Asher’s taking Georgia for a walk, and I have some time to myself. For once, we can talk without any interruptions! What’s going on?”

Jillian bit her lip. “How did you know I needed to talk?”

She glanced at the spare bedroom, where Chelsea was still in bed, Pooh keeping her company. To avoid the chance of her overhearing what was private, Jillian slipped out the back door.

“I hear birds,” Shannon said.

Cheerful songs filled the air, already warmed by the brilliant sun. For all Jillian cared, it could have been cold and cloudy. “I stepped outside,” she explained, sitting cross-legged on the stoop. “Remember a couple weeks ago, when we talked about Rafe and me?”

“You mean the sex thing?”

“Yeah. It happened.”

“Ooh. When?”

“Four days ago.”

“And you’re just telling me? Did it work? Is he out of your system?”

“I wish.”

“No big. Stay with him until he is.”

“That isn’t going to happen.” Jillian’s heavy sigh hung in the air.

“Oh, no. Did he dump you?”

“Not exactly.”

“You dumped him?” Shannon sounded incredulous. “I’m confused. I get that he isn’t the guy you’re going to settle down with, but if you two have a good thing going…”