Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife (75 page)

The single good tiding (to which Elizabeth clung tenaciously) in this time of dreadful sadness was that with Napoleon’s defeat, the fighting had ended and her husband had survived it. But however greatly it was anticipated, for weeks after hostilities had ceased, there was not another message from him.

Nor from anyone else of note. In this absence of enlightenment, Elizabeth could only conjecture that a lack of notification meant Fitzwilliam was not a casualty. Of this, she was exceedingly grateful, but Georgiana’s circumstances were nevertheless an outright puzzle. Twice Bingley endeavoured to cross the Channel in search, but was denied by authorities. For word from the continent was grim: not only were marauding bands of plunderers keeping good folks inside, typhus had struck as well. The areas not in political upheaval were in quarantine. Everyone able to flee had fled. Both war and disease had commanded mass graves. Terrified and uncertain, Elizabeth had no notion what else to do but worry once more.

* * *

It was believed that in one of those graves rested Major George Wickham. For Lydia (who did not favour the appellation Widow Wickham, thinking it sounded too matronly), it was a trying time and one of great dilemma. Not of grief, but decorum, for it insisted the bereaved keep sober and mournful comportment, in neither of which she had any practise. In addition to the burden of countenance, she was demanded to wear black as well. She abhorred herself in black.

Was displeasure of her wardrobe not trial enough, there was another particularly ruthless turn. For the demise of her husband by way of battle required a steady stream of Whitehall garrisoned officers to make a pilgrimage of respect to his family. These were soldiers in name only, who chose not to soil their hands (or risk their comfortable lives) in battle, believing it duty enough to bask in the bravery of those who did (reflected glory better than no glory whatsoever). If there was any question of character of these failed sons of the peerage, it was not asked by Lydia.

The only interest she had was not one of integrity, but of uniform. Her greatest quandary was to decide whether Lancer, Dragoon, or Guard had a finer flourish to their uniform (eventually she decided in favour of the Hussars, for they wore rather fine beaver hats). Yes, handsome officer after handsome officer (all resplendent in cape and sword, which clearly defined handsome to Lydia) came to pay their devoirs, and propriety demanded she could not flirt and had to wear black.

Lydia loved her father, but he was dead and gone. (From the privilege of widowhood, she even believed she very nearly loved Wickham.) She had her whole life (or a goodly portion of it) in front of her and the confoundment of being denied opportunity to troll for a new husband from an uncommonly fertile pool vexed her to distraction. Had other been expected, her displeasure was not suffered in silence. She whined about it incessantly. Her chief occupations were whining when she was not in company and surreptitiously flirting when she was. For after some study before her mirror, Lydia perfected a wicked little smile that, if she could just get the right tilt of her fan, would promise any gentleman under her gaze that she was not all that sad.

There was ample audience to witness this devious coquetry, for bereavement required the Bingleys and Elizabeth stay at Longbourn for at least the month. Jane and Bingley were appropriately aghast (but not necessarily surprised) at Lydia’s distaste of solemnity. Elizabeth cared little if Lydia was contemptuous of her husband’s memory, but was determined she would not besmirch their father’s. Thus, in exasperation at witnessing Lydia’s repeated vamping from behind her fan, Elizabeth waited until the importuned officer had taken his leave, wrested Lydia’s fan away, and rapped her soundly upon the top of her head with it.

“Lydia, I know you suffer cruelly at the loss of your father and husband both (it might have been presumed that this was mockery, but Elizabeth preferred to believe it not), but can you restrain your enthusiasm for widowhood at least until the passing bell ceases its reverberation?”

Hardly reprimanded, Lydia flounced over to a chair and sat in a disgusted heap, “Yes, I suffer cruelly!” she agreed, and thereupon glumly inquired, “Is there to be no diversion?”

“No. You are sad,” Elizabeth assured her.

“Oh, Lizzy! ’Tis all so unfair!”

Thereupon, suddenly, a thought visited the unlikely neighbourhood of Lydia’s limited intellect.

“Lizzy,” she proclaimed, “it just occurred to me, that with Wickham and Papa dying almost simultaneously, I shall have to wear black for just one mourning period!”

“Happy thought indeed,” Elizabeth feigned hearty agreement. “Concurrent death is much more pleasing than consecutive. What fortune!”

Lydia went in search of her mother to share her observation of luck. But Elizabeth knew that Mrs. Bennet would have no interest in Lydia’s widowhood, for she was quite enmeshed in her own.

Although it was half-past four o’clock in the after-noon a full two weeks after Mr. Bennet’s death, Mrs. Bennet had not yet been able to bring herself to rise and dress for the day. Her daughters took turns at her bedside, alternately patting her hand, bringing her tea, and exchanging tear-stained handkerchiefs for dry. (Lydia had abandoned tearful keening once officers began to call, for weeping made her eyes puffy.)

Inconsolable in the loss of her husband, Mrs. Bennet was additionally burdened by the no small matter of entailment of Longbourn to Charlotte Collins’s unfortunate son. Again, Elizabeth patted her hand and assured her she would always have a home with her at Pemberley. This was sincerely offered, but Elizabeth could not help but cringe ever so slightly upon Darcy’s behalf for when he learnt that he might well have Mrs. Bennet under (or even near) his roof permanently. The thought of that was a considerable trial, but most inadvertently, her mother cast aside that specific apprehension of Elizabeth’s for far worse.

Mrs. Bennet’s lack of amiability as a housemate would be a moot point if there were no house to plague.

“That is kind, Lizzy, but you may not have a home yourself! I fear Mr. Darcy is no more alive than Mr. Bennet or Wickham! You, my Lizzy, have no son! If this baby dies as the last or, heaven above help us, is a girl, Lady Catherine will have you out! Of that you can be sure!”

At the thought of her dear daughter’s dilemma, Mrs. Bennet was nearly overcome with renewed sobs, “Lizzy, Lizzy! What are we to do? Bingley cannot take us all in!”

The spectre of Lady Catherine notwithstanding, more than anything Elizabeth wanted to be home at Pemberley and to wait for Darcy there. Betwixt Lydia’s vulgar flirtations and her mother’s relentless wailing, Elizabeth thought it quite possible she would run mad from the house. In lieu of the imprudence of that, she chose to take a walk outdoors instead.

She automatically picked up her shawl, and thereupon cast it impatiently aside. It was too warm for a shawl. Was she revealed great with child to someone whose sensibilities would be offended by the sight, they would just have to be sullied. The decision was made only in part due to the weather, the other fell to the sheer enormity of her person. It was simply difficult to disguise her girth.

It was a mystery to Elizabeth how Jane could conceal her pregnancies with such efficiency. For Elizabeth, no matter what manner of arrangement of shawl, her protuberance protruded. Kitty had blurted out that it was quite possibly the size of a small washtub and Elizabeth found no insult at the comparison. It was the size of a washtub. A lively washtub. The baby cast about her insides as if determined to find its own exit, and Elizabeth was certain she could see her skirt jump about as it did.

She fancied others could as well. For when they all sat about the parlour, all eyes rested upon her stomach. There would be short bursts of conversation; thereupon everyone would fall silent, their gazes studying her frock-skirt. It had transcended mere embarrassment and leapt into the world of outright mortification. With her first baby, Darcy had been at her side insisting upon the beauty of her form. It had been effortless then not to feel so very graceless. This time she felt like a particularly ungainly cow.

Beneath her dress and petticoats, she knew she looked like a particularly fecund bovine as well. But without her husband there to caress her bare belly, she alone was unsettled by knowing that this baby was undoubtedly larger than her last. That was the only benefit of Darcy’s absence. He would be spared that worry. As she walked some ways down the lane, an unpropitious cramp nagged her.

Ponderously, she wended her way to the familiar oak and rested her unwieldy body against its trunk. She lay her cheek against its roughness and fingered the lines in the bark. It brought to mind how she had unceremoniously bitten Darcy’s lip that day long past. She smiled at the recollection of her own discaution. Then, self-consciously, she looked about, for she realised she was embracing the tree. Given another moment she might have kissed it as well.

Wresting her affection from the tree Darcy had once leaned against, she rubbed the outline of the baby he had put in her. That was more rewarding, but only temporarily. Beleaguered by her own interminable worry for Darcy and Georgiana, Elizabeth began to harbour an irrational suspicion that Lady Catherine just might be able to put her out of Pemberley. Was Darcy not to return, was her baby not to survive, she considered it might well be a moot point. Even with so noble a motive as to spite Lady Catherine, she was not so very certain she could bear to stay there alone.

Resting her head back against the tree, she closed her eyes and sought the soothing vision of her husband. Time, grief, and worry were beginning to erode her memory of her husband’s face, and for a brief panicky moment, she could not recall it. It was then that she was anointed with an undertaking of the utmost of importance. She vowed aloud she would repair that very day and return to Pemberley. There she would sit beneath Darcy’s portrait in the gallery every day until their baby was born. Forgetting his face would be an impossibility.

Once the decision was made to repair to Derbyshire, Elizabeth altered her plans only as to the immediacy of the trip. As she hastened back to the house, she realised it was too late to take leave that very evening. Hence, she wiped her tears away with the hem of her skirt, walked back into the parlour, and announced to Jane and Bingley that she would take leave at first light. Jane was appalled.

She pleaded, “Lizzy, it was unsafe for you to have travelled here weeks ago. You must not journey again!”

“I intend to have my husband’s baby in his home and be there when he returns. If I do not take leave immediately, it will be too late. I am quite adamant.”

She spoke with such impressive finality that Jane opened her mouth to beseech her again, then stopped. Elizabeth’s determined expression said it would not be wise to argue.

Bingley spoke instead, “If we cannot convince you not to travel, Jane and I shall go as well. You will not travel alone.”

Such was Bingley’s own resolve, Jane and Elizabeth both turned silently and looked at him, neither having heard him make an ultimatum before. Elizabeth thought of telling Bingley her travel decisions were quite her own, but decided not, by reason of…he was most probably right.

Hence, with her quest of hearth and home now a mission, Elizabeth entered the carriage that next morning with purposeful anticipation. The Bingleys sat upon either side of her just as resolutely, but with more trepidation than either of them wanted to keep to themselves. As they finished loading trunks into the boot, Mrs. Bennet (who had willed herself from her bed) came to wave a handkerchief in farewell and Jane endeavoured one last time to make Elizabeth listen to reason. Listen, if not to reason, at least to something.

“Lizzy, do reconsider. Do you feel well? Perchance you should rest more before you attempt this. Charles, hand Lizzy that pillow. Put it behind her back. Lizzy, do reconsider.”

The coach drew away and Elizabeth said nothing in answer to Jane’s solicitations, but simply patted her hand. Bingley patted Jane’s other hand as well, for it was Jane who was the disordered party.

As they passed the Meryton churchyard, they looked across the stone fence at the grass that had begun to emerge atop their father’s fresh grave. In the dawn’s new light, it looked slightly bedraggled, yesterday’s cut flowers having wilted in the summer air. Hating to see Mr. Bennet’s final resting-place unkempt, Elizabeth almost called out for them to stop so she could replace the flowers with fresh ones, but she knew Kitty and Mary would do so by mid-morning. She hoped they would plant some sort of bulb that would not wane.

As the coach passed by the site, all those inside had turned their heads to gaze upon the grave. Once past, Jane and Bingley looked toward their destination. Only Elizabeth watched as the steeple of the church diminished into the distance.

* * *

By midday, it was suggested they stop near a grove of trees to stretch their limbs and partake of a bit of lunch. The same low pain that had plagued her earlier stole Elizabeth’s appetite, but she spoke not of it, hoping the rest would aid her as well as the horses. They had barely laid out their repast before Elizabeth’s ache announced its intensification in her back. With deliberate calm, she stood and stretched, well-aware Jane was watching her. Determined to keep her discomfort to herself, Elizabeth walked about a bit before proclaiming they had lost far too much time from the road.

When everyone sat and looked at her dumbly, she ordered, “Do not fart about!”

Alarmed at her dictatorial (and unprecedentedly coarse) directive, Jane and Bingley jumped up, not of a notion to deny her anything just then. Anxiously, Jane trailed about after Elizabeth, but Bingley looked more frightened by Elizabeth than for her. Elizabeth saw their confusion, but had neither the interest nor wherewithal to explain herself. By early afternoon, she had no need, for her pain had intensified long past hiding. Bingley ordered the coach to stop. Elizabeth insisted it not.

“I will not have this baby upon the road. I will have it at Pemberley. Move on!”