Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife (11 page)

Better judgement prevailed.

However, if propriety did not allow him to hang a six-foot canvas of Elizabeth’s naked twin upon the wall of the Pemberley library, he would do the second-best thing. He strode over to the artist, who only then realized a personage of import had graced his studio and rose in obeisance. With fifty sovereigns, the portrait of the nymph before him, and explicit instructions from the gentleman, the artist achieved a cunning likeness, but one of abbreviated pose and tiny in size. The painter thought the gentleman quite pleased.

When Darcy returned to retrieve the compleated miniature, he purchased that great canvas also bearing likeness to his beloved, for he could not bear another to look upon what he dreamed of each night. However, he took it not to Pemberley. He had it encased in a wooden crate and transported to the farthest reaches of his London home. There it sat, yet untouched this half-year later.

But as he now had enjoyed the quite singular pleasure of his wife’s true form revealed to him, he knew he would have that wood-nymph returned to Pall Mall. At one time he had thought it quite impossible, but he now understood how truly inadequate the vision cast by his mind’s eye had been.

* * *

As dinner hour approached, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy descended the stairs much in the same grand manner as they had taken them hours before. They conversed with their company before the meal was called, Darcy’s closest relatives’ opinion of his new wife obviously not polluted by his aunt, Lady Catherine. Colonel Fitzwilliam had once announced to Elizabeth he thought his aunt a bore, not in so many words, but he said it all the same. He paid respect to his aunt for she was his aunt, just as Darcy had done. Politic and kind, Fitzwilliam was thought of as a dashing-good fellow. Indeed, other than those of a gentleman, he appeared totally without airs.

Fitzwilliam’s older brother was not as convivial, perhaps stricken with the importance of his lately acquired title. Lady Eugenia was less merry than anyone at the table, but in very conscientious attention every time her mother-in-law coughed. One might suppose this dedication fell to her extreme affection. Closer study would reveal it less filial regard than eager anticipation. The sooner the old woman lay toes up, the sooner she would be not only the wife of an earl, but also the Lady of the manor.

It was obvious that Georgiana readily relinquished her position at the head of the Pemberley table to Elizabeth. At this moment, that it relieved Georgiana of her burden was the single inducement that Elizabeth saw in her own ascension to mistress. For Georgiana was timid. Counterpoint to her brother in every way but reserve, she was blonde and ethereal as Darcy was dark and intimidating.

At the dinner table, Miss Darcy was content to be a listener, but in the drawing room, Elizabeth took every opportunity to coax her into conversation. However, Fitzwilliam repeatedly compromised her success. That gentleman was hasty to reclaim the easy friendship they had begun to form when they first met at Rosings Park. He talked to Elizabeth to the point of monopoly. Darcy played his part in this re-enactment of the previous April’s circumstance as well by glowering at Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth the entire time they conversed. So conspicuous was his disapproval, Elizabeth was quite uneasy. She made more progress bidding Georgiana to talk than her brother, and the awkward evening played out with excruciating forbearance on the part of Mr. Darcy’s new wife.

When their guests left for Whitemore and Georgiana retired, the newlyweds took the staircase rather grandly again (perhaps the only way to take such an august set of steps). The Master of Pemberley held his lady’s fingers out and away at shoulder level (the majesty of their assent ever so slightly compromised by Troilus and Cressida scrambling in their wake). Elizabeth only took her husband’s arm when they reached the top of the stairs. His grip upon her was firm, steering her away from the corridor door toward her dressing room and to the one that led to their bed.

With the closing of the door, he put his arms about her. Then, for a long moment, he rested his cheek atop her head.

“It is good to have you home with me,” he said.

Still disquieted by his being so out of humour downstairs, she responded, “If this is so, why do you look so ill upon me in company? You stare as if I offend you in some manner. You have always done thus. ’Tis no wonder I once thought you disliked me.”

“I hold myself to the strongest reproof if my countenance persuaded you of other than my love. For if I gaze intently upon you, it is most certainly not from dislike. Quite the opposite.”

That said, he kissed her neck. Several times. This, whilst he began an undulating search for the pins in her hair. With quiet deliberation, he dropped them one by one to the floor.

“May I undress you?” he bid.

“I feel,” she said, “as though you just did.”

* * *

Quite unbeknownst to Elizabeth, a niggling annoyance was turning into a serious vexation for Darcy. Other than having her, he thought of little else.

As a man of considerable self-control, he had perfected coitus reservatus to his own particular art form, orchestrating each of his assignations with self-assured precision. With the single woman he cared most to please, his loins refused to await her pleasure. He was unable to muster more restraint than a pubescent schoolboy. And that thought was most abhorrent. It would not do.

By reason of extreme duress (lengthy abstention and obstacle of hymen), he could excuse himself for effusing uncontrollably into her the first time. But not the next, nor the next (nor the next several). The lush confines of her body usurped his wits compleatly. His will was totally lost to her. In retrospect, he reckoned that it had been thus for some time—just not with such graphic delineation.

If his evening’s silence disquieted Elizabeth, that was unfortunate, but it was not without merit. He had found little amusement whatsoever in Fitzwilliam sporting with his husbandly parsimony by monopolising Elizabeth’s conversation. Undoubtedly, his cousin knew he was one of the few men to whom he would allow such a liberty. Though he had stood in mute disapproval allowing Fitzwilliam his little joke, his taciturnity reflected intimate contemplation and a resultant steadfast resolve. For her first night in Pemberley, he would bring Mrs. Darcy to the same rapture she bestowed upon her husband. Anything less was indefensible.

His plan would not await her toilette. It must commence immediately. Undoubtedly, anticipation would seize all discretion.

Hence, the shedding of each layer of clothing betwixt their bodies was done expeditiously. Whilst this disrobing was performed with extraordinary mutual admiration by Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, it was not they alone who benefited. Though not for the same design, Troilus and Cressida did as well. After their garments dropped to the floor in a heap, Cressida scratched them into a compact pile and curled upon them, resting her nose upon her paws. Troilus, however, had no more than situated himself before the last piece of their wardrobe was cast aside, landing upon the dog’s head and disconcerting him not one whit. He merely unearthed himself and added to their makeshift bed. There, lying in feigned repose, he and Cressida awaited the soft sounds of sleeping. It was only then that they would sneak upon the end of the bed to take their rest.

The dogs, however, were to be disappointed for some time. The master’s bed-mate kept him awake. Conversely, their master kept his bed-mate awake as well.

Undeniably, Darcy was quite fond of his dogs (else they would not have access to his bedchamber). But their interests were not his just then. He held to his simple ambition. Ultimately, patience and Herculean self-control obtained success. Substantial success.

Her arousal burgeoned and thereupon ruptured into an intense convulsion of pleasure that was accentuated by a deep moan that began at the back of her throat and then wafted across the room.

A misfortune, for at this unidentified sound, both Troilus and Cressida commenced to howl. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy were so profoundly enthralled within their own pursuit, the dogs’ yowling did not become apparent with any haste. When the dogs’ accompaniment finally overrode their senses, Elizabeth released the grip she had upon her husband’s hair. And (not entirely certain what she just experienced), covered her face in mortification.

“Please,” she implored her husband, still breathing heavily. “Pray, tell me that noise did not all come from me.”

At this enquiry, the steady rise and fall of Darcy’s own shoulders evolved into the jiggling of laughter. After a few moments of collection, Elizabeth rolled over upon her stomach at the edge of the bed, and both gazed at the culprits. Each put out a hand and the dogs, aware they were the exactors of some untoward event, walked hesitantly over for a pat of reassurance. Thus obtained, Troilus thought it was an invitation to join his master and jumped upon the bed.

At this, Darcy said, “I believe some rules of conduct will have to be established.”

He rose and dragged both Troilus and Cressida by their collars across the room (both in claw-scraping reluctance), then unceremoniously shoved them out the door. Elizabeth was not so certain that was the proper remedy.

“Oh Darcy,” she fretted. “They will never forgive me for usurping their place.”

He only smiled in answer to her compassion, but she came to learn he was acting in the best interests of all concerned. For had the dogs not been put out, all of Pemberley would have been kept awake most of the night.

Mr. Darcy’s engagement and wedding had kept him away a full quarter-year from Pemberley. Although it was midwinter and fieldwork was at a minimum, he told himself it was imperative to ride out and see to things. It was not, of course. The only true obligation of an owner of such a vast estate was not to lose the place gambling.

Darcy knew well that not only were there a hundred men to do his bidding, but his overseer, Mr. Rhymes, was exceedingly reliable. Still, if it was not obligatory for him to tend to things personally, it was essential for his own spiritual well-being. It was a restoration of his soul, if you will. He chose not to be idle and useless. Far too many people depended upon Pemberley for their livelihood, and if their fate rested upon him ultimately, it would be he who took on the responsibility.

Knowing the master would be out forthwith, for he was accustomed to the master’s conscientious habits, a groom had Blackjack saddled early. Yet it was mid-morning when Mr. Darcy bestrode his horse and trod out the gate of the manor house, Troilus and Cressida trailing Blackjack’s hooves.

Punctual by nature, Darcy demanded promptness from others and was unhappy for such a late start, knowing Rhymes had been cooling his heels for several hours. As Darcy rode along, he forsook his less than wholehearted sojourn into self-recrimination for his behindhand appearance. In its stead, he basked in a bit of vainglory. This because the wherefore of his own tardiness had yet to escape his mind’s occupation. Indeed, -Elizabeth’s scent still wafted through his nostrils. He smiled as he thought of her in the bed that he left not an hour past.

It was a considerable relief finally to have checked his appetency long enough to gratify her passion. Under any other circumstances to be smug over such a miserly triumph would be quite ridiculous. In light of the fact it was lovely Elizabeth who held the reins of his galloping libido, he absolved himself of all censure.

In a lifetime of scrupulous attention to duty, he had never used his wealth in flagrant self-indulgence. However, he knew well that in a hired coach upon a public road, he would never have even entertained the notion of relishing his wife so thoroughly. Thinking upon that occasion, it struck him how very fortunate he was. For, if he did not hesitate to take Elizabeth into conjugal embrace in his carriage, one would suppose so new a wife might be taken aback, if not outright scandalised. It appeared the meeting of the minds he and Elizabeth had enjoyed as betrothed now blossomed into an ardent convergence of respective concupiscence.

Although their nuptial night had been incalculably rewarding, it bestowed upon him a serious caution.

At one time, he had been a veritable Sphinx when it came to professing admiration of a woman’s physical charms before, during, or after physical congress. It had been his position that it went without saying he found whatever lover he bechanced to be with desirable, else he would not have been there in the first place. That presumption upon occasion caused no little consternation, but it was an idiosyncrasy from which he refused to waver. It was trial enough to have his person open for inspection; he flatly refused to be quoted.

Marital rites with Elizabeth, however, were a different matter. The level of restraint with which he had engaged her to him led him to express his appreciation of her unparalleled pulchritude with reckless abandon. He had ceded her his love unconditionally, hence he had little compunction about telling her that. However, unless he intended to divulge his past dalliances to her as well, he realised he was going to have to censor his tongue at least in the comparative. Her lips may have been the softest he had kissed, her skin the silkiest he had stroked, and her body the most voluptuous he had ever beheld, but he dared not say it.

The misunderstanding he invited when rapturing about Elizabeth’s snug womanhood was a provident warning. She could very well have entertained the enquiry as to how he came to harbour an opinion about feminine apertures at all. It would take some discipline to tell her what he longed to share without exposing what he did not.

Not only had he need of expurgating his pillow talk, he feared that if he did not dampen his ardour for her in some manner, she was likely to flee the marriage to have any peace at all. Indeed, his legs felt a little shaky as he swung onto his horse just then, for he had not gone longer than six hours without possessing her since their wedding.

Surely, time and familiarity would soothe his blood; but as for then, every time they consecrated capital union, it only intensified his desire for her. He needed only picture her face in his mind, think of her soft breath against his ear (or, heaven help him, think of her sweet, pink, tufted demesnes) to be overcome with the need to take her once again. Thinking of her receiving him thusly, it was all he could do not to turn his horse about and find her (for he discovered with dispatch that riding his horse in a state of arousal was distressingly uncomfortable).

He was startled from these most intimate of thoughts by his overseer Charles Rhymes’ greeting.

“Good day sir, Aye hope Mrs. Darcy is well.”

Unnerved by hearing Elizabeth’s name spoken aloud concurrent with such a deeply provocative contemplation of her as he was in, he cleared his throat.

Then, quite mildly, he said, “Yes, she is quite well.”

Gathering his wits, Mr. Darcy hastily changed the subject from Mr. Darcy’s connubial bliss, to Mr. Darcy’s sheep.

“How does the lambing fare?”

“Only middlin’,” Rhymes answered. “The ewes are droppin’ ’em fine, but the swains can’t seem to keep up with them. We need a good hunt.”

That was Rhymes’ subtle way of reminding Darcy of the length of his away. Darcy said they would have to remedy that, but did not say when. Hunts were weekly at neighbouring Pennyswope. Lady Millhouse would have had them daily would there be enough fox. As it was, their constant pursuit caused those upon her property to veer onto Pemberley. Of course this did not stop the chase, but the farther away the foxes ran, the less the likelihood of them being found. Thus, it yielded a plenitude of vermin upon Pemberley and the resultant havoc to the lambing.

One of the first matters of business that forenoon was to ride to the village of Kympton. As tradition dictated, Darcy had given instruction for the inn to provide food and spirits the day of his and Elizabeth’s arrival for anyone who chose to share in the celebration of his marriage. Everyone in the county not infirm or immobile had answered the invitation.

When he and Rhymes arrived at the Fox and Hogget, the stench of stale beer still in the cups and disgorged upon the floor was overpowering. Darcy noticed there were still a few overindulgers lying about, one atop a table, and two (proving the euphemism) being literally beneath it.

Rhymes grumbled, “The sun’s still gone over the yardarm for those sots.”

It was half-past noon, but there were few signs of restoring the establishment after what appeared to be quite a fine time the night before. The pub-keeper’s wife and a barmaid were making little progress in rousting the remaining victims of barley fever. The publican, a penurious man with the apt appellation of Phinehas Turnpenny, sat with two other hoary-eyed men, all three drinking their midday meal at the far end of the single large room.

When Darcy entered, those men who were conscious hastily rose. Turnpenny nervously wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he eyed Mr. Darcy’s approach. It was exceedingly unusual for a member of the Darcy family to come into town, and entering his establishment was unprecedented. It was understood the importance of the occasion would be the only reason Mr. Darcy would present himself to make remuneration.

Mr. Rhymes held the purse for Mr. Darcy and at his instruction gave Turnpenny two extra sovereigns for his trouble. The missus wasted no time in wresting the gold pieces from her husband, dropping them down her considerable cleavage.

Dispersal accomplished, Darcy made to quit the inn, but as he and Rhymes took their leave, the fellow felled by drink reposing atop the table coincidentally found God and sobriety.

Suddenly sitting bolt upright, he announced both by choking out a “Gads me life!”

Quite familiar with the workings of the intestines of men drawn to drink, Mrs. Turnpenny waved the broom whose handle had prodded him conscious, and hollered.

“Shoot that cat outside!”

In the face of certain mean retribution under the hand of a woman who knew how to exact it, the man struggled to his feet and staggered for the door. In no mind or time to excuse himself, he jostled Darcy and Rhymes aside to heave upon the threshold. This was to their advantage, for neither wanted to leave with the over-imbiber retching upon their heels.

The hacking, yorking, and gagging were interminable and blocked the doorway. In their wait, and not wanting to inflict his sensibility with watching the retching man heave Jonah in addition to the insult of listening to him, Darcy looked first at the ceiling and then to the floor. Thereupon, he began an unforebearing tap of his boot. He could not help but notice that the innkeeper and his compatriots-in-ale moved nervously about during this hiatus. One man stared at the wall behind Darcy before the innkeeper jabbed him decidedly with his elbow, eliciting a harsh “uh” from the man who then looked down at the floor.

It was not in Darcy’s nature to find curiousity upon the instruction of another. But when the intemperate retcher refound stupefaction from the uncomfortable (and rather ludicrous) position that resulted from only his toes, knees, and forehead resting upon the floor, he still blocked the door. Turnpenny sidled over to the inebriant, put his foot soundly against the man’s hinder-region, and shoved him, somersaulting, out the door. This gave Darcy opportunity to look to the wall behind him in search of what unnerved the men.

Initially, he saw nothing unusual and turned to go out the door behind Rhymes. The corner of his eye caught sight of a stanchion. Hanging from thence was a silk sheet. It was queer to see such a fine piece of fabric in such an ignominious establishment.

Rhymes took a broad stride across the foul puddle left by the now prostrate man and stepped out the door. However, Darcy stopped to take a closer look at the puzzlement. He paused but fleetingly. Then he strode out across the threshold, his long legs not having to take the great leap as did Rhymes’ to evade the muck.

Had someone been in position to scrutinise Mr. Darcy’s countenance as he quit the inn, they would not have suspected anything at all was amiss. His expression never wavered. It betrayed nothing but stern placidity. This was a considerable feat in that he had recognised not only the initial upon the bedcloth, but its unique paraph in one corner. It was his.

Undoubtedly, it was pilfered from his nuptial bed, for it was bespattered and bedewed with the denouement of numerous carnal infusions. He was roundly sickened to realise that the sheet he had used to wipe Elizabeth’s virgin blood from her had then hung in inglorious lewdness inside a vile alehouse.

Having their most intimate moment violated roused him to such a loathing fury, he was almost provoked to do the unthinkable. But he knew that if he went back inside and retrieved the bed-linen, then beat the men senseless, it might soothe his immediate wrath, but would only inflate the business into legend and lore. It was best to take a dignified leave.

Stricken as he was with righteous indignation, he knew full well why it was displayed thusly. It was a coarse but unmistakable testimony of Elizabeth’s virginity and his virility. It provided the common folk of the county reassurance of the enduring prosperity and continuity of Pemberley. The towns and the surrounding populations depended upon that very constancy. Understanding that, however, did not render it less objectionable.

However, as mortified as Elizabeth had been for the servants to come into their spousal bedchamber, he was grateful that she was insulated from the possibility of hearing about her newly impugned modesty. How his bedcloth from London had arrived so expeditiously of the arrival of their persons to Derbyshire, however, was an issue he chose not to confront at that moment.

Weathering such an indignity upon Elizabeth’s behalf stole all the pleasure of his afternoon excursion. He drew himself onto the saddle. But before Rhymes did the same, Darcy gathered his considerable hauteur and held up his hand, palm forward.

“There is an offensive object hanging from the wall of that inn. Take it and watch until it has been burned to ashes.”

Rhymes was accustomed to receiving succinct orders from Mr. Darcy. Still, this oblique demand was unusual. But, although he might have looked at Darcy a little queerly, he did not question him. Darcy observed the look upon the man’s face and knew Rhymes not too dull to fathom when he saw the bedcloth what it was and why it was to be burned.

As he turned his horse for home, he endeavoured not to envision the tattered remnants of their privacy being waved about in drunken revelry.