Mr. Darcy Came to Dinner (13 page)

“The fact is, as I am to inherit this estate after the death of your honored father, I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible when the melancholy event takes place. This has been my motive for securing my life’s companion from Longbourn instead of my own neighborhood, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem.”

Mr. Collins was wrong — very wrong. Any respect Elizabeth might have had for the gentleman due to his profession dissipated as her anger rose at the clergyman’s crass reference to the entail. She had decided within five minutes of meeting him that Mr. Collins was the last man on Earth she could be persuaded to marry, and every word now uttered by the vicar reinforced that resolve.

Mr. Collins was, of course, ignorant of his object’s revulsion of his person. “And now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection,” he pompously proclaimed. “To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father since I am well aware that one thousand pounds, which will not be yours till after your mother’s demise, is all that you may ever be entitled to. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent, and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips after we are married.”

Elizabeth felt it was absolutely necessary to interrupt him now. “You are too hasty, sir. You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without further loss of time. Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me. I am very sensible of the honor of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them.”

To Elizabeth’s surprise, the man only smiled. “I know it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept when he first applies for their favors and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. I am, therefore, by no means discouraged by what you have just said and expect to lead you to the altar ere long.” He took a step towards her. “Let us seal our inevitable agreement with a kiss.”

“No!” Elizabeth cried, to no avail. Mr. Collins continued towards her, for he was not to be denied. She spun about, took to her heels, and dashed out of the room.

Mr. Collins followed closely. “Such behavior is uniformly charming!”

Rather than flying up the stairs, the impulse of a moment found Elizabeth in the parlor occupied by Mr. Darcy and the maid Sally. She did not falter at their astonished looks but continued into the room until Mr. Darcy’s sickbed was firmly between her and the door — and her most determined suitor.

“Mr. Collins,” she panted, “I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies who is so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time! I am perfectly serious in my refusal. You could not make
me
happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who would make
you
so.”

“What the devil is going on?” asked Mr. Darcy.

“Mr. Darcy, this is a private matter,” said Mr. Collins. “Elizabeth, come away. It is not proper for my betrothed to be in the room of a gentleman.”

“Excuse me?” sputtered Mr. Darcy before turning to Elizabeth.
“Betrothed?”

“Mr. Collins is mistaken,” Elizabeth insisted. “I have refused his proposals. He must withdraw.”

“You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin,” returned the clergyman with a smile, “that your refusal of my addresses is merely words of course. It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy of your acceptance or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of de Bourgh, and my relationship to your own are circumstances highly in my favor.”

“Mr. Collins,” said Mr. Darcy, “the lady has refused you.”

“Inconceivable! She knows better than that.” Mr. Collins turned to Elizabeth, and his smile dissolved into a sneer. “My
dear
cousin, you should take it into further consideration that, in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you. Besides,
I
will one day be the master of Longbourn, and I shall extend my charity to my
family
,” he emphasized the word, “as Our Lord commands.”

Elizabeth gasped at the flagrant threat. Mr. Collins had virtually avowed that should Elizabeth not marry him, Mrs. Bennet would indeed starve in the hedgerows! She could say nothing at present, but Mr. Darcy felt no such restraint.

“How
dare
you, sir.” Mr. Darcy did not bellow as he had when under laudanum. He did not even raise his voice. Instead, he enunciated in a cold, clipped, unemotional manner. The effect was that each word slammed into Mr. Collins like a blow. “How
dare
you speak so to the daughter of a gentleman? You would use your power over a young lady’s family to satisfy your base desires? By God, sir.”

Mr. Darcy, red-faced and furious, threw off the bed sheet and struggled to rise, causing Mr. Collins to cringe in fear. Fortunately for Elizabeth’s sensibilities, he wore breeches. Sally dashed to Mr. Darcy’s side, but he would not heed her requests to lie back and instead used the young maid’s shoulder as support. His look was deadly, his appearance frightening. His eyes were blazing, and had they been swords, Mr. Collins would be pinned against the opposite wall.

Mr. Collins tried to placate him. “Sir . . . sir, you misunderstand! I meant no such thing!”

Mr. Darcy was relentless. “I warned you, man. I warned you against angering me. You should be happy I am immobile, for if I could stand on my feet unaided, you and I would meet on a field of honor, you
scoundrel
. I would take great pleasure in puncturing your pompous exterior and feeding your carcass to the pigs. You are no gentleman and deserve no courtesy whatsoever.” Mr. Darcy lowered his voice further. “Heed what I say, for my mind is no longer clouded by laudanum, and I will fulfill this vow: You
will
withdraw, man, and you will no longer impugn yourself upon the ladies of this house, or heaven help me, I will see you
destroyed
.”

Elizabeth was transfixed by the scene. Judging by Mr. Darcy’s frigid voice, his trembling fists, and Mr. Collins’s blanched response, she had not a shred of doubt that Mr. Darcy meant every word he said and that Mr. Collins knew it, too. Sweat broke out on the parson’s face even though the air was rather cool. He took first one and then a second step backwards before fleeing the man who had just declared himself the Bennet family champion.

Once the echo of Mr. Collins’s flight up the stairs died away, Mr. Darcy sagged against the bed, a groan escaping his lips.

“Oh, sir!” cried Sally. “Now see what you’ve done! You’ve done that rascal proper, but you’ve taxed yourself overmuch! You must lie down, sir!”

Mr. Darcy’s distress spurred Elizabeth into action. “You must return to bed,” she demanded as she moved to help the maid.

“Miss Elizabeth, do not,” he weakly protested. “It is not suitable that you assist me.”

Elizabeth would hear none of it. “For what you did for me, it is the least I can do. Come, Sally, gently now.” Between the two of them, Mr. Darcy was reestablished in the bed, Elizabeth trying valiantly not to take notice of his state of undress or the solid muscle beneath his nightshirt. Trying — and failing.

Mr. Darcy’s face was white with pain. “Are you well, Miss Elizabeth? I hope you did not take fright.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Goodness, no! I am only thankful for your actions. But you are the one in pain, not I. Is there anything you can take for your present relief? A glass of wine — shall I have one fetched for you?” Sally began moving towards the sideboard, but Mr. Darcy forestalled her.

“No, I am well.” He smiled. “I only want . . . ” His voice trailed off, and his eyes darkened as he stared at her. Elizabeth could not move for the world. Mr. Darcy’s lips moved as if he meant to say something but made no sound. Finally, he broke his gaze on her and said, “A bit of rest is all I need. It was an honor to be of service to you.”

“Please do not do it again!” Elizabeth begged. “You might have reinjured yourself! You must take care and get well.” As an afterthought, she added, “Think of your poor sister!”

Mr. Darcy closed his eyes and chuckled. “I am well rebuked. It shall be as you say.”

Elizabeth smiled. “Good. I will leave you in Sally’s capable hands. Rest now, good sir knight, for one never knows when another damsel in distress might be in need of a hero.”

She excused herself and made her way to her bedroom upstairs, taking care that the hallway was empty of any sign of Mr. Collins.

* * *

Elizabeth did not emerge from her chamber for some time, but that did not mean she was alone. First, her mother and then all her sisters invaded the sanctuary she shared with Jane. Elizabeth suffered interrogation, laughter, consolation, and condemnation from her relations.

As expected, Mrs. Bennet was particularly distressed. If Elizabeth heard
“How could you do this to your poor Mama? We shall be thrown to the wolves after your father is dead!”
once, she heard it a hundred times. Mary and Jane expressed doubts over her account of Mr. Collins’s actions. They were sure there had been some mistake — Mary, because a man of the cloth could do no wrong, and Jane, because of her innate belief in the goodness of everybody. Strangely enough, Mrs. Bennet did not join their chorus.
Her
concerns were more over what Mr. Collins’s future actions could be. Kitty and Lydia thought it all great fun, and the youngest had to be restrained from going to Mr. Collins’s room to ask him about the incident.

Elizabeth did report Mr. Darcy’s participation in the event, but she minimized his actions. She simply testified that the gentleman had recommended to the clergyman that he should take the lady’s refusal at face value and bother her no more. She certainly did not relay the fact that Mr. Darcy had as good as threatened the vile vicar’s life because of the man’s insults to her and her family. Their reaction to the information she did provide was surprise, except for Jane, and all commended the gentleman for his consideration. The response was nothing to what it would have been had the others known the full extent of Mr. Darcy’s declarations, Elizabeth knew.

Elizabeth was one to mull thoughts over obsessively, and
this
was a subject ripe for intensive retrospection. Until Elizabeth could decide what it all meant, she would share it with no one — not her mother, her sisters, or even her beloved Jane.

Almost two hours passed before she heard that her father had returned. Elizabeth hurried to the book room, knowing she had to tell her father
something
of what had happened during his mysterious absence. The extent of that information she had not yet determined. By the time she gained entrance to her father’s inner sanctum, she discovered her mother was of like mind and was already protesting to her husband, even before he took his ease behind his desk.

Mrs. Bennet wailed in fine form. “Oh, Mr. Bennet, we are ruined! Lizzy has refused Mr. Collins, and we shall starve in the hedgerows! Whatever shall we do?”

Mr. Bennet, obviously exhausted and irritated as well as damp, did not seem to be as diverted with this information as Elizabeth had anticipated. “What is it you are going on about, Wife? What is this about Mr. Collins?” He noticed the attendance of his favorite. “Lizzy! Will someone tell me what has happened?”

Between the two ladies, Mr. Bennet was informed of the morning’s activities.

“So, am I to understand,” Mr. Bennet said slowly in his usual place seated at his desk, “that Mr. Collins made Lizzy an offer of marriage, which was refused, but Mr. Collins would not accept this rejection until Mr. Darcy intervened?” At Elizabeth’s nod, he asked, “How on earth did Mr. Darcy come to be involved in this business? Was he in the room?”

Elizabeth blushed. “No, Father — rather, we were in his room.”

“How did that happen?”

Mortified at seeing how this chain of events must look, Elizabeth was forthright. “Mr. Collins was rather animated in his expectation of an acceptance of his proposal, and I thought distance would be advantageous. Before I knew it, I had taken refuge in the parlor, but Mr. Collins followed. That Mr. Darcy was a witness to this was unintentional, I assure you.”

Mr. Bennet eyed her. “Was it now? Was it indeed? I suppose it matters not as his services were required.” He rubbed his face. “Blast, the last thing I want is to be further indebted to that man!” He started and dropped his hands. “Did Mr. Collins harm you, Lizzy?” His voice was sharp.

“No, Father! But his presence was an imposition.”

Mr. Bennet relaxed. “Do you stand by your refusal?” She nodded, and Mr. Bennet grimaced. “Excellent, for I tell you now, I should have refused to give that man my permission in any case.”

“But, Mr. Bennet!” cried his wife anew. “What will happen to us should the Lord take you away? Mr. Collins will not be predisposed to be kind to us! He will throw us out of the house!”