Mountain Ash (22 page)

‘I used to love it when Elizabeth cooked. She used to give Nathaniel the beaters and I'd snaffle the bowl.' His eyes dimmed at the memory. He was back in the past. ‘But that was before, well you know, everything didn't go so well.'

Jodie dropped into a chair. She hadn't known his son was called Nathaniel. She hadn't known much about Elizabeth either except she had been a perfect 1960s-style wife who was a CWA member and loved to sew.

‘I shouldn't have talked to your daughter like that,' Alex said, reaching forwards and clasping her hands. ‘I had no right. I do apologise. It's just been so long since I was around little children, I'm no good at being a modern parent. My own parents believed children were to be seen but not heard. Elizabeth's were much the same. Nathaniel, well, he …' Alex stopped and took a breath. ‘Anyway, that's all in the past. You'll have to teach me how to do better with Milly, Jodie. I am sorry.'

Jodie went to speak but Alex held up his hand. ‘And I jumped to conclusions with Clem. Of course he was only here to see your horse. I … well, I just worry that I won't be enough for you, that you'll find another man …'

Milly was forgotten as she said, ‘Oh Alex, of course you're enough for me.' Liar, liar, pants on fire. ‘Of course I wouldn't cheat on you.' You already have!

‘I know,' he said. ‘You're not that kind of girl.'

Two weeks later, and what kind of girl she was became a moot point. Caught up in the flat-out rounds of being a nurse, mother and keeping a randy Alex at bay, she'd forgotten one teensy-weensy little thing.

Her period. Actually the
non-appearance
of her period.

If there were two things on the earth you could be certain of they were her daughter's obnoxious farts and the regularity of Jodie's monthly bleed.

But this month it hadn't come.

And the only person she'd slept with at about ovulation time was Nate. The odds of her being pregnant to Alex were astronomically low, given the timing.

This couldn't be happening. They'd used protection. For God's sake, she'd even watched him put the damn thing
on
.

She wasn't even going to think, What if it doesn't come?

It would come. It had to.

Strenuous exercise was what she needed to bring it on, so she walked down the hill, met Milly at the bus stop, made her walk home. The poor little girl's legs were shaking when they finally made it through the back door. Jodie went for a ride on
Parnie, figuring maybe the gentle motion might encourage her body to bleed.

It didn't.

Alex rang and Jodie used every excuse in the book. Despite his seemingly polite acceptance, she could hear the pent-up frustration in his voice growing. Work. Milly needing an early night. Quilting. Even book club, although she hadn't read a book in years.

‘I didn't know you were in a book club,' said Alex. ‘Elizabeth loved her reading group. It's lovely how you both have the same interests.'

Another thing she hadn't known about Elizabeth. And it
was
lovely. Just
bloody
lovely. Except Elizabeth wouldn't have found herself possibly pregnant by a man she barely knew.

Shit.

And double shit.

It
had
to come.

It didn't.

Dr Weir didn't pull any punches. ‘You're pregnant. Seven weeks is my guess. An ultrasound will confirm.'

He was scribbling on a sheet of paper. ‘Here. Take this to pathology. It's a blood test, and this,' he handed over another sheet, ‘to radiography for your ultrasound. Twelve weeks.'

She sat in the chair opposite, poleaxed. No, this couldn't be happening. Not again.

‘That, I think, will be all,' said the man sitting opposite her. Dr Weir's bedside manner left a lot to be desired.

She looked down at the forms he'd given her and bolted for the adjoining bathroom. When she'd finished retching she stood up, leaned against the cold wall and tried to pull herself together.

Dr Weir's voice came through the door. It was softer now, more gentle. ‘Are you okay, m'dear?'

With considerable effort Jodie pushed herself off the tiles and lurched to the sink. She washed her face and swished some water around her mouth.

‘I said, are you okay?' The doctor had opened the door and was looking at her with concern. ‘Are you vomiting often? More than you did last time?'

So he knew there had been a last time. She mentally slapped herself. Of course he did. She guessed it would be in the file that she already had a daughter.

‘It was like this with Milly.'

‘My wife was the same.' He was silent, like he was remembering those horrible first few months.

Jodie closed her eyes. Somehow she couldn't imagine the very poised Julia Weir throwing her guts up. She had to get out of here otherwise she was likely to disgrace herself again. She heaved herself back from the basin. Dr Weir made way for her at the doorway and guided her to the chair. There was a compassionate side to the man after all. She wondered if Alex would be the same.

After gathering up her paperwork, making another appointment and leaving Dr Weir's office, Jodie blindly made her way down the street towards her ute. It was parked up against the kerb. An uncomplicated and rusted heap of nuts and bolts that had seen Jodie through so much. The breakdown of her relationship with Rhys. Her search to find a job, a life for her and her daughter. As she walked towards the vehicle she didn't see her fellow nurse, Lucy Grainger, wave at her through the window of the local art gallery she ran with her partner, Alice. She didn't see Travis Hunter peering her way as he stepped out of the newsagency with
a
Weekly Times
under his arm. She didn't even note that he walked towards a four-wheel drive where his new wife, Tammy McCauley, patiently waited for him. She just kept blindly walking, past everyone she knew, past her ute, past the travel agency offering holidays to sun-drenched parts of Australia. All she could see was Narree Lake glinting in the sun. She needed space. She needed to walk and walk and walk until this pregnancy thing was left on the track somewhere far behind her. It wasn't
supposed
to happen. For Christ's sake, she'd seen him put that frigging condom on. So surely she couldn't be pregnant? And to
another
cowboy. The kind of bloke who got on his horse and rode away.

Although to be fair, she reminded herself later as she was getting into her ute,
she
was the one who'd fled this time. But she'd only done that because she knew
he
would and she wasn't prepared to risk her heart again like that. As she drove along, her hand kept instinctively seeking her belly, her fingers cupping the non-existent bump. She carried ‘all-out in-front', or had previously, thanks to her body's slender build. There was no reason to think this baby wouldn't be the same – more so, in fact, as it was the second time. All the more reason to get her affairs in order. Tell Milly. Sort out what she was going to do. To get rid of it wasn't an option. In her eyes life was life regardless of how old the foetus was. Her Catholic upbringing didn't allow her to think otherwise. Plus, this child was half hers and that meant a lot.

And you really
liked
Nate.

Yes, she really liked the cowboy. Could have grown to love him. In fact, she was already a little in love with his memory, which didn't help her relationship with Alex.

Oh God, Alex. What was he going to say about this?

‘I'm pregnant,' she blurted out over the top of her coffee cup.

On the other side of the kitchen bench, Mue went perfectly still. Jodie saw a strange expression fleetingly cross the older woman's face.

‘Have you told him?'

‘No, I don't know where he is.'

‘He's at Glenevelyn. I saw him yesterday,' said Mue. ‘I was up there doing the housework.'

And that was when it hit Jodie. Mue thought the baby was Alex's. Of course (mental headslap) and why wouldn't she? No one, except Stacey, knew she'd slept with the cowboy.

Could she get away with it? After all, the only time she and Alex had made love was the fortnight before she'd gone to Riverton. It would be easy enough to fudge the dates … She grimaced. How low an act was that? Passing off her pregnancy as the wrong man's doing.

But what choice did she have? Really? What did this baby deserve? A home and two parents or a series of rentals, long hours of day care and a worn-to-a-frazzle single working mother? Parents who respected each other and stayed together or an absent derelict dad, long gone cold on his lover and family responsibilities? This baby could just as easily appear to be Alex's as long as she was able to stop Stacey's flapping tongue, and that should be easy enough. For all Stacey knew the baby
was
Alex's and the cowboy just a roll on the riverbank.

Jodie refocused on her friend. Mue was looking at her like she'd seen a ghost.

‘Muey? Are you okay?'

Mue shook herself a little, then smiled. ‘Of course. I was just thinking how lovely it'll be for Alex to have another heir. He'll be delighted.'

Jodie nodded. ‘Yes.' She smiled bravely, hating herself already. ‘Hopefully.'

‘He's only got Nathaniel and he's not around, which is a shame,' said Mue. ‘It's such a beautiful property …'

Jodie pictured Alex's family station in her mind. Thousands of acres of hill and river flats. An imposing double-storey mansion made from locally quarried stone and placed on a rise above the Grace River. It was a house fit for another era, where the grazing aristocracy's hunger for grandeur trumped comfortable living and the depth of one's purse. That said, Alex hadn't let his home become shabby, which Jodie suspected was due to his ability to fund such a money-suck from off-farm. He'd made canny commercial investments, which she knew included a bevy of service stations placed along Australia's eastern coast. Alex was a very wealthy man and, thus, so was his son.

‘It was such a sad day when Alex kicked Nathaniel off. Elizabeth was heartbroken, although she never did anything to stop the boy leaving.'

Jodie tuned back in.
What?
Alex kicked his own son off the farm? She guessed Cowboy Nate's story wasn't such an uncommon one.

Mue was moving to the sink to drop her coffee mug in the washing-up water. Jodie could see by the older woman's expression she was reluctant to say more. Mue's final words on the topic were, ‘The lad came home for her funeral, but I don't think he'll ever come back proper. The rift is dreadful.'

So that's why Alex never talked about the boy. Well, actually Alex and Elizabeth's child would be a man now. It was funny how when Jodie thought of someone having kids she immediately assumed them to be Milly's age or littler. But it was the exact opposite in this case.

If she did marry Alex, her stepson would be older than she was. And that was a bit of a conundrum. She wondered what he'd make of her – a woman his own age marrying his father.

She gave herself a shake. This was the only sensible option. Marry the man who wanted to look after her and Milly. Alex had already said he wanted to try harder with Milly, it stood to reason he'd be even more committed to a baby he thought was his own. And if she didn't love him, she couldn't get hurt. If she married Alex, the future would be secure.