Mother’s Only Child (8 page)

‘Of course you must go,’ Bella said.

‘How can I?’ Maria demanded. ‘I can’t leave Mammy and Daddy overnight, and that’s what it would mean. I can’t and won’t have you and your mother do more. You do enough already. Uncle Sean will understand and I’ll send a telegram now and a Mass card later that I will put a letter inside.’

Bella said nothing. She was realising that Sarah was one body’s work. It took her and Maggie all their time to watch her and run the shop and post office; she’d not like to take the responsibility of having her overnight.

Sean did understand what Maria was going through and as soon as he’d settled everything, he went up to visit them.

Maria was delighted to see him, glad he’d travelled on Friday to stay the weekend for she couldn’t really afford to lose pay and maybe her job by taking time off. Sean was appalled by the whole set-up. Heartbroken though he was to see his only surviving sister so ill, and his brother-in-law crippled for life, his sympathies lay with Maria.

Sean caught Sam’s eyes on Maria often that weekend as she busied about and Sean knew he felt bad about the things she had to do for him.

‘What can I do to help?’ he asked Maria.

‘Talk to Daddy,’ Maria said quietly. ‘I’m sure he must get lonesome and frustrated, though he never complains. Barney comes most evenings and they have a jar, play cards sometimes, but for all that it’s a long day for him, though Dora does her best.’

‘You’ll have to keep me abreast of things,’ Sam said to Sean, ‘for I have no news. One day for me is very like the one that went before and the ones yet to come. Barney tells me how things are now and again. Like he says, the Americans will be in the war soon.’

Sean nodded. ‘Don’t see how they’re able to stay out of it now,’ he said. ‘They’re ready anyway. Been that way for months.’

‘What d’you mean?’

‘Well, they have bases built already,’ Sean said. ‘There’s one the other side of Lough Erne. I can see it plainly from the farm. And, what’s more, they’re dressed in the same uniform as the British, but they’re American all right. You only have to hear them talk.’

‘Would you believe it?’

‘One of my neighbours, who works in Derry, said there’s another one there too. Probably peppered all over, if the truth was told.’

‘Aye,’ Sam said. ‘Oh, here’s Barney, look.’ As the man came in the door he added quietly, ‘He’s been golden, so he has. Hardly misses an evening.’

Barney approached the bed, glad to see Sam so animated by Sean’s visit. Sean had already hauled Sam into a sitting position, supported by the pillows, and when Barney produced the bottle of poteen from his pocket Maria didn’t say a word, but got the glasses from the cupboard.

The first time Barney had suggested letting Sam have a drink, she’d been against it. ‘He’s always been a moderate drinker,’ she said. ‘He could take it or leave it.’ Not that he had the chance of much poteen, though she knew he liked a sip if he did.

‘Maybe he could take it or leave it when he had a pair of legs that worked,’ Barney said, ‘or a job of work to occupy him and support his family. For God’s sake, Maria, what has he now that you can deny him a bit of pleasure?’

There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that Maria could say to that and she didn’t try. Nor did she ask where Barney got the bottles from. Sometimes it was better not to know those things. Anyway, with her father entertained, she could get her mother into bed, which wasn’t always easy. Sometimes it took all Maria’s powers of coaxing to get her to undress, put on her nightdress and get between the sheets. ‘Come on, Mammy,’ she’d say to her mother, who’d be standing resolute, arms folded over her chest and her mouth in a mutinous line. ‘Come on, to please me.’

Sometimes, when she was tired and had a mountain of things waiting for her to attend to in the kitchen, she wasn’t so patient. ‘For God’s sake, Mammy, will you stop this and get your clothes off.’

She always felt mean when she’d shouted at her mother. If her mother looked at her with eyes filled with reproach it was bad enough, but sometimes her bottom lip would tremble and she’d begin to cry. Maria would be consumed with shame and it would take longer than ever to settle Sarah for the night.

‘Will you be off to England now that Granddaddy is dead?’ Maria asked her uncle that first night as they sat before the fire with Barney long gone and Sam fast asleep.

Sean was a wee while answering. The situation in the house worried him. Maria seemed to be working
herself to death. How could he swan off to England as if it was no concern of his?

‘Not yet awhile,’ he said eventually. ‘Not while you are doing everything here. Now Daddy is gone, I’ll come up more at the weekends and share the load. While I’m here, you don’t have to worry about Sam, I’ll see to him.’

‘You don’t have to,’ Maria said. ‘Really you don’t.’

‘I do,’ Sean said firmly.

‘I’d hate to think of you putting your plans on hold again.’

‘It won’t be for ever,’ Sean said firmly. ‘Tell me about the young man Sam mentioned. Thinks a lot of him, he does.’

The faint blush that flooded Maria’s face amused Sean, but there was no doubt in his mind that this was the one for her when she said, ‘Greg—that’s his name. He’s wonderful, tremendous, so he is, but he is in the army.’

‘And…?’ Sean prompted.

‘He wants to get engaged the next leave he gets.’

‘And you?’

‘Oh, yes, I want it too,’ Maria said. ‘I know I’m young, though I hardly feel it, but I know in my heart that Greg is the one for me. Marriage will be difficult, I know, even after the war, with Mammy and Daddy still to see to, but he assures me it can be done. His family all seemed to like me, the one time I went to tea. In every letter Greg tells me to visit them, but,’ Maria spread her hands helplessly, ‘I haven’t been able to.’

‘You can now. I’ll be here,’ Sean said. ‘And that is one thing I insist on.’

‘I can’t leave you with everything.’

‘Maria, Sarah is my own dear wee sister,’ Sean said. ‘I will always think of her that way and though I am heartbroken to see her how she is, I still love her. She too is one of life’s casualties. Sam is also a fine man, one I am proud to know and one I knew would take care of my sister. To the best of his ability he has, and helped rear you to the fine young woman you are. It would be no hardship to me to care for them for an hour or two while you visit your intended in-laws.’

‘Ah, Uncle Sean, you’re so good,’ Maria said, her voice breaking.

Sean leant over and patted her knee. ‘It’s what uncles are for, dear child,’ he said.

Maria did go to see the Hopkins family the next Sunday afternoon, full of trepidation going alone, although after Mass that morning she had asked Greg’s mother if she might call up that afternoon. Once in the house she was soon put at her ease. The whole family welcomed her as warmly as they had done the last time. It was good to talk about Greg openly, with people who loved him and worried about him as much as she did.

‘I doubt he’ll be home for Christmas,’ his mother, Ellie, said.

‘No,’ Maria said. ‘He said the same to me in the last letter.’

‘Some special training he’s into,’ his father explained. ‘Not that he was able to say much about it.’ He saw Maria’s eyes widen. ‘Reading between the lines, that’s what I think. We have a sort of code going between us two and you can surmise a lot by that.’

‘At least while he’s at training for whatever it is, he’s safe,’ his mother said with satisfaction. ‘That’s one blessing, anyway.’

‘Oh, aye,’ Maria agreed fervently. ‘For my money, he could stay for the duration.’

But he wouldn’t, of course. What could he be training for? Wasn’t he already trained? Dear God, what horrors were in store for him?

‘Now stop it, Maria,’ Sean said firmly when she said this to him on her return. ‘You have enough to worry about without thinking up further things. It might be nothing, just some notion his father has in his head.’

But Maria knew it wasn’t. Didn’t he mention the code they had? But, she couldn’t burden Sean further. He had to catch the bus to Derry soon after, anyway.

‘Now listen,’ he said to Maria as he prepared to leave. ‘I shan’t be over next week, but I will be able to the weekend after. Is that all right with you?’

‘Anytime I can see you will be fine,’ Maria said in thankfulness.

The following Friday Maria had to be sharp with her mother to get her to leave Bella and the shop. She even had to take her hand to prevent her running back to it once they were in the street.

‘For God’s sake, Mammy, will you stop it,’ she said. ‘I’m too tired, cold and hungry for this carry-on. I need to get into the warm, have a sit by the fire and a cup of tea to keep me going till the tea’s cooked and you are not helping, not one bit.’

Some of what Maria had said seemed to penetrate
Sarah’s brain and she stopped pulling at her hand and walked calmly enough by her side, but Sam saw his daughter’s face bleached white with tiredness as she bade Dora goodnight, and he felt consumed by shame.

He was always glad of Barney’s company and even more glad of the poteen he brought. He knew that he was drinking far too much of it at times, but he needed it to blur the edges of his God-awful life.

That Sunday, Maria like millions of others, learnt of the bombing of the American Fleet by the Japanese at a place called Pearl Harbor.

Sam recalled the conversation he’d had with Sean just the previous week. ‘The American’s will be in now, whether they like it or not,’ he said to Maria.

‘Many say it’s about time.’

‘Aye, but I’d rather fight a Jerry or a bloody Eyetie than a Nip any day,’ Sam said. ‘Not bloody human, those Nips.’

Maria couldn’t agree more. She wondered if American involvement would affect those in Britain and how, and seriously hoped not. She knew Greg had been based in St George’s Barracks, Sutton Coldfield, but did much of his training in Sutton Park and another place called Cannock Chase, because he’d told her this much. She hoped he was still there, still safe.

Maria wasn’t looking forward to Christmas one bit. She remembered other years when she would help her mother bake the cakes and mince pies, and boil the puddings. The sweet, spicy smell would linger in the air for days
and they would sing carols together as they decorated the house with home-made streamers.

This year there was nothing. She was in no mood for making streamers, never mind finding the time to drape them around the room. She’d had no time either to make up any of the usual goodies and it was hard not to feel depressed about it, especially as there was no news of Greg coming home.

Then, the Friday before Christmas, 19 December, the men came. Con had visited before quite a few times, but this was every man that Sam had engaged to work in the docks. Many brought things from their wives - mince pies, a Christmas cake. Another brought a pudding, one had a cherry cake, another sausage rolls, while two sent half a dozen fresh duck eggs. Each of the men had a bottle or two in his hand.

Maria was overwhelmed with the men’s generosity, but just as delighted that they took time to talk with her father. She busied herself bringing out more chairs and getting glasses for them all. Soon a bluish fug of tobacco smoke hung in the air, mixed with the smell of whiskey and poteen. Maria tackled a pile of ironing and listened to the chatter in the room. The voices rose and fell, occasionally laughter bursting into the air. Maria saw how her father’s face was animated and knew she had been right: it was the company of men he missed.

Maria had given up her lunch hour to search Derry for presents, though the shops were not well stocked at all. She’d posted Greg’s presents early: socks, a scarf, a large bar of chocolate, twenty cigarettes and a packet of the bull’s-eyes he liked so much.

She also managed to get a soft shawl for Dora, fleece-lined slippers for Bella, and socks and hankies for Barney. For her father she had a new pipe and tobacco and a large bottle of whiskey.

She expected nothing from Greg but a card, if he was able to get one, so she was intrigued to receive a parcel the day before Christmas Eve. She lifted it down from the mantelpiece where Dora had put it, aware of the woman hovering, as anxious as she was to find out what was in it.

When Maria exposed the ring box, she felt as if her heart had stopped beating and she slowly opened it up. The ring was a diamond solitaire and so beautiful it took her breath away.

My Darling, darling Maria,

I can wait no longer to give you this. I know girls often like to choose their own rings, but I want you to wear this now so that everyone can see your heart belongs to me. I had to guess the size, so if it’s wrong, wear it round your neck till I come home. My beloved Maria, there aren’t enough words to tell you how much I love you and miss you, and how I lie in bed each night and go over and over the time we spent together. I may get leave in the spring—I don’t know. They tell us nothing, but you may be sure I will be hotfooting down to you as soon as I ever can.

There was more, much more, but the tears seeped from Maria’s eyes as she put the ring on, twisting her hand
this way and that so the diamond sparkled as the lights caught it.

‘Ah, God, will you look at that. D’you see, Sam?’ Dora cried.

‘Come nearer, child,’ Sam said, taking Maria’s hand as she drew closer.

Maria was hesitant with her father. Maybe he’d be hurt by this sign that Maria was leaving childhood behind; maybe he’d feel his permission should have been asked.

However, when she said this, her father smiled and squeezed her hand. ‘He did ask me, child, the time he came into hospital, when you took yourself off to powder your nose. He told me he’d loved you from the first time he’d seen you, but knew you were too young for him to speak and wouldn’t have done it just yet if things had gone to plan. Child, I want you to have a good, caring man by your side to share this burden you have taken on. Oh, I know Greg is in the army just now, but the war will not last for ever. He is a fine young man, one to be proud of, and he will make you a good husband.’

‘Thank you, Daddy.’