Morningstar (4 page)

I swayed to the music, gyrating my hips and vulgarly thrust my pelvis forward. My hair was free, blond falling all around me as I twirled and touched myself, my flesh slick with sweat. The tiny g-string barely hid my semi-swollen member, but that was part of the job description. I danced closer to the edge of the runway, allowing various men to slip money under the tight garment. As I dipped down for one particular man, who was tall, dark and broad, I winked. The man slipped a hundred-dollar bill into the band of the skimpy undergarment, and I nodded faintly.

The music ended and I walked off the stage, pulling on a thin robe and sitting down to remove the makeup from my face. I was one of twelve dancers in this club, but I was what drew the men in. There was something about me, something that drew them to me and made them want to spend their money and their seed in my body. I counted my tips from the night - with the two hundred dollars my regular had slipped me, my total came to eight hundred dollars.

Not bad. Fifty of it would go to the club - the house fee was a pain in my ass, but it kept the club clean and secure, so I didn't complain about it anymore. I also did not live beyond my means. My apartment may have been small, my furniture used and worn, but my bank account spoke volumes about that thrifty lifestyle. All through history I had been in the sex business. It was an honest business.

I stuffed the money, minus the fifty for the house, into my pocket and grabbed my coat, heading out to the floor. My brute of a client was waiting, possessively wrapping his arm around my waist as we made our way out of the club, stopping only so I could pay the owner his nightly fee.

His name was Jon, but aren't they all? Jon drove me to my apartment, chatting inanely about his day and the frustration of being the father of two teenaged kids.

He liked to bitch.

I led him up to the apartment, letting us in quietly and scanning the living room for Radueriel. He wasn't there, so I assumed he had gone to bed. It was almost five in the morning, and I was certain he was still very tired from looking for me for so long.

Jon started to pull me toward the bedroom, but I shook my head. "No. Couch tonight, lover. I have a guest."

He raised an eyebrow. "A guest?"

I smiled, tossing my coat onto a chair and unbuttoning my shirt. "Yes, an out of town friend who doesn't know what I do in my free time, so it's the couch for us tonight."

He was already unbuttoning his jeans. "Can't stay long. I have work in a couple of hours and I need to shower and get dressed before the wife wakes up."

"Whatever you want," I said, tossing a condom and some lube his way. I slipped my pants off, standing in front of him naked. "How do you want it?"

"On your hands and knees. I love looking at your back as I fuck you," he said, rolling the condom down over his already hard cock.

I nodded and knelt on the floor, resting my upper body on the couch, presenting my ass and back to him. I knew what he liked to look at, the same thing as all of my clients. Over the pale expanse of my back I had huge, sweeping wings tattooed. They reached from my shoulders to my backside, the tips of the wings dipping down onto the top of my buttocks. They were beautiful, something exotic - something my clients loved to look at and my boss loved to exploit.

His cold fingers pressed against my opening and I groaned, my own shaft filling in anticipation. Jon pushed his ample length into me and immediately began pounding into my body, his sticky fingers gripping my hips painfully. I gritted my teeth, clawed at the couch, and moaned for all I was worth, putting on a show for the man, telling him how well he fucked me. I stroked myself, closing my eyes and remembered how tight and hot Radueriel had always been; it was a memory I held close whenever I was bent over, being taken by a client.

He slammed into me once more, groaning loudly as he came. I tugged at my shaft furiously, grunting as I spilled over my hand. Jon rested his head against my shoulder, panting furiously as he tried to catch his breath. "You are always so good, Lucas," he managed, pulling out of my still twitching body. "So good."

I sat back, pushing my hair out of my face. "You certainly are never a disappointment," I said, holding out the wastebasket to him. "I always have trouble walking the next day when you have the time to ream me well," I joked as he tossed the used condom away. "Next week, then?"

Jon pulled his pants up, tucking his shirt into the waist. "Of course." I stood up, grabbing my discarded clothing as he walked to the door, dropping a third hundred-dollar bill on the table. "See you then," he called, closing the door.

I turned with my clothes in hand, but stopped before I walked far. Radueriel stood in the hallway, looking at me with hurt eyes. "Radueriel," I said. "How long have you been standing there?" I started back toward the bedroom, aloofly walking past him.

"Morningstar, do you love him?" he asked as he followed me into the bathroom.

I laughed as I turned on the shower. "No, I don't love him."

"Then why did you give your body to him?" he asked me, seating himself on the toilet as I entered the shower.

I wet my hair, quickly lathering the long locks. "It is an arrangement, Radueriel. Where I work, I am paid by patrons, and when one patron pays me exceptionally well, I know he desires more intimate company. I bring them home, they have me, and then they leave."

Radueriel was silent as I rinsed my hair and began to wash the sweat from my body. I thought he had perhaps fallen asleep, but then he spoke.

"I do not understand, Morningstar-"

"Lucas!"

"Lucas," he replied. "I do not understand how you can share yourself with those for whom you feel no love."

I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. "I don't expect you to. You are still so innocent, so angelic." I smiled down at him. "In Heaven we all loved and shared ourselves because of that love," I half-sneered, purposefully shoving the memory aside that I had shared myself with no other for centuries in Heaven when I had Radueriel's love. "Things are not so clear here, I am afraid. His money helps pay the bills." I dried my hair and braided it. "It is an honest profession, no trappings of false promise. I am paid for my body, and the client always knows what he will get for that price. I don’t pretend to care about them, and they don't have to pretend to care about me. It's not like going into a restaurant or grocery store and the clerk or waiter pretends to be interested in your day or what you truly want. No, I feel I am part of a respectable profession and I can go to bed when it is over knowing I was honest with myself and my clients." I pulled on my silk pajama pants, offering Radueriel a full view of my back.

He sighed. "You have markings on your back... Morning-Lucas, you are much changed from the angel I loved in Heaven," he mumbled sadly.

"I had to cover the scars or I would never have gotten the position I have. I like them. As for the sex, it doesn't mean anything to me. It's not like what you and I had," I said, walking into the dark bedroom.

His voice was lost when he said, "Had? Do you not want me?"

I turned to him and smiled tenderly at him. "Oh, I want you. I did not think you would want me. I am not a just, divine angel any longer. I am a fallen rebel, a traitor to the One you love and serve. I thought you came here to alleviate your conscious, not rekindle what we once shared."

Radueriel came to me, tentatively reaching out to touch my bare stomach. "I never stopped loving you, Morningstar," he said, and I knew he said it on purpose. "I am here because my heart and soul ached with your loss, and I could bear it no longer."

"Radueriel," I said with all the passion and raw need I could, and I cupped his face between my hands and kissed him deeply. He opened his mouth to me, and I thrust my tongue forward, tasting him thoroughly after all this time. He was just as sweet, just as pliant as he had been when we tumbled on the floors of Heaven.

I pushed him back onto the mattress, the springs creaking under our weight. He spread his legs as I laid on him, still kissing his full, ripe lips. I sat back, though, and shook my head, chuckling at him. "It is different here than there, love," I whispered, nipping at his lower lip. "There is more to it than joining our bodies."

"Show me," he breathed, thrusting his erection up against my belly.

"I plan to," I replied, lowering my lips to his again.

I ran my hands over his body, cupping his backside gently as I consumed his lips. His fingers twisted in my hair, and I thought my heart would burst with the overwhelming emotions I felt. I kissed down his neck, leaving small red marks along his pale skin, and my body ached with every moan and cry I wrung from his lips.

When I reached his nipples, I laved them generously, suckling at the tiny pebbles until he pushed my head away from his chest. I looked up into his eyes and was stunned by how dark, how open his gaze had become. He was flesh and blood now, able to experience sensations we as angels could not, and I was eager to show him the heights of pleasure such a body could offer.

I trailed fiery kisses along his trembling belly that grumbled slightly as I passed over it. I chuckled, nipping playfully at his hip. "I must feed you when we are done, lover," I said, inching even lower down his body.

He slowly parted his legs further, allowing me to settle comfortably between them. I knew what I was about to do no one had done to him before, and I felt a sense of pride at knowing I was the first to show him this. I bent my head to his weeping organ and lapped at the clear fluids pooling between the slick head and his belly. He cried out, sitting up quickly and stared down at me in complete surprise. "Morningstar!" he gasped, his fists clenching the bed sheets.

"I have much to show you," I said, dipping down to his sex and taking it deeply into my mouth.

Radueriel arched his back, his dark head falling back against the pillow as he whimpered. His shaft pulsed between my lips, and his sweetness was like honey; I sucked on him, swallowed him, and teased him with my tongue, throat and fingers. I slipped my index finger, glistening with my saliva, down to his opening and pressed in. A tremor wracked his body and he begged me to have him, to end the torment of my loving.

I sat up and climbed from between his creamy thighs. "Lay on your side, dearest," I said hotly, reaching into my nightstand for the bottle of lubricant. "Your body has never been breached, and I do not wish to cause you undue pain." I poured a generous amount of the liquid, smearing it along my sex as he turned his back to me. I wiped my hand on a discarded shirt and mounted the bed, spooning close to Radueriel's body.

Running my hand along his hip and thigh, I whispered soft words to him. I lifted his leg, allowing for my entry into his body. I told him of my lonely nights, the bitter tears I had shed for the lost love in Heaven. As I pushed into that tight passage, I drowned his cry of pain in the story of how I thought my heart dead, until I saw him on that street. I moved within him, shallow, careful thrusts, resting his leg over mine so I could grasp his length with my hand.

"I love you," I panted as I entered him again and again, his heated shaft twitching and pulsing with impending release. I buried my nose in his hair, inhaling that scent of sunlight and waterfalls that had always been a part of him, and I clasped him close to my chest as my orgasm ripped through me. While I spent myself deep inside his clenching channel, he poured his seed over my hand and onto the bed sheets. "I love you," I said again, weeping softly into that chestnut hair, still embracing him tightly.

His hair was draped over my chest, his ear pressed against my breast. I knew he was listening to my heart beat, relishing the closeness, the silence, the love. I ran my fingers through his silken locks, almost not believing he was truly curled up to my side.

"You were right, Morningstar," he said softly, his breath cooling my damp skin.

"Hmm?" I asked, sleep trying to drag me down as the sun peeked above the horizon.

"You were right. Heaven has changed since Man was permitted entrance." His voice was sad; no cheer resonated in his tone as he spoke of his home. "They have made Heaven into what they wanted; they molded it to their needs, and He allowed them that power." Radueriel sighed, and I felt wetness drip onto my chest. "We are as you said we would be: expendable, unneeded, obsolete. He no longer speaks with us, and the angels fear their fate. You were right in your rebellion."

It was then the oddity of Radueriel struck me full force. "Your speech!" I said, sitting up and pushing him away so that I could see his face. "You speak as I do!"

Radueriel nodded. "All in Heaven speak as you do, even our Lord. It is necessary; it is the speech of Man. The landscape of Heaven now resembles an Earth unspoiled by technology, the Eden of myth. The angels simply exist in it; we are nothing particularly special or revered." Tears fell from his sapphire eyes, and my heart broke for him.

I sighed, pulling him close again. "It does not surprise me, love. What does surprise me is that you would admit such a thing to me." I stroked the long curtain of his hair as he clung to me.

"Even God is much changed. He would probably be more willing to hear your grievances if you went back and took responsibility for the war and repented." I could hear the hesitancy in his voice, and though I would do almost anything for him, my pride would never allow me to repent what I knew in my heart was right.

What Radueriel knew in
his
heart was right.

I shook my head, shifting on the bed so that we were cocooned in the warmth of the comforter. "It is too late for that, Radueriel," I said, kissing his lips. "Far, far too late."

Domestic life was new to us both. We settled into a routine, and he soon stopped calling me 'Morningstar'. I made enough money that I was able to buy him clothing, dressing him in the finest materials I could find. The jewel tones I chose flattered his hair and complexion, and I taught him all I knew of pleasuring the male body. Sex between us was explosive and exhausting, and our love blossomed anew.

A month after Radueriel reappeared in my life, we reached our first hitch in the relationship.

"Come with me to work?" I asked, buttoning the black shirt I had donned. I had never invited him to my club; I feared his reaction. I had been lucky that none of my clients had visited me lately, and I finally felt comfortable bringing Radueriel with me. "You can see what it is I do." I winked at him, sitting on the ragged couch in loose jeans and no shirt, barefoot, with a novel in his hands. He looked at me with those bright eyes, a smile lighting up his face. "I'll take that as a yes," I teased. "Well, get dressed or I'll be late!"

Radueriel hopped off the couch, gave me a quick kiss, and rushed into the bedroom, dressing quickly and joining me in the entryway. "Ready," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Thank you for taking me with you. I grow lonely while you are away."

I kissed him deeply, swiping my tongue along his, and gripping his hand tight in my own, led him out onto the city streets.

I was nervous. I stood backstage, looking out at Radueriel seated in a corner, watching the dancer on the stage finishing up. I had never been nervous - I was a professional, after all. But, at that moment, my heart pounded and my palms were sweaty. Radueriel would see me dance tonight, see me perform intimately for the men gathered close, ogling the half-nude bodies offered up for their entertainment. It was also the first time I questioned my means of paying my bills. I was not ashamed, but I briefly considered changing what I did for a living.

Sebastian passed by me, counting his tips on his way to the dressing room, and I stepped out on the stage, taking my place in the center. I was wearing a red g-string with a pointed tail dragging along the floor and red horns rested neatly in my golden hair. I was The Devil, a popular act and one I found humorous.

The electronic beat started and the first words from the song filtered into the room. As I danced, I reflected on the words, and I realized how close they fit our circumstances. As I twirled and bowed, thrusting my hips and touching my body, I tuned everyone out - everyone but the owner of two glittering eyes the color of sapphires sitting in the corner of the club.

Men slipped bills into my garment, but I only saw Radueriel. It was only when one of the patrons surreptitiously pinched my thigh that I was drawn out of my performance. One of my clients, an older gentleman, slipped two hundred dollar bills into my g-string. He was a generous tipper, if not a well-endowed lover, and my heart nearly stopped as I looked from Charles to Radueriel.

I exited the stage, ripping the money from my underwear, and slammed them down on my makeup table. I looked at my reflection in disgust; blue eyes shone from a pale face framed by long, straight blond hair. My features were both feminine and masculine, but there was always this feral, dangerous glint in my eyes. I was something most men at the club coveted, and few were able to bed.

We had an arrangement, and I could not refund Charles' money and walk away. No, I would remain and finish my set, send Radueriel home in a cab, and fuck Charles.

I made up my mind and changed outfits, preparing for my next dance.

Radueriel was sent home two hours before I finished my shift, and I told him to head straight to bed. He asked me why, but I insisted. I saw the light in his eyes diminish though, and I cast a glance behind me to see Charles eying me as if I were some expensive treat. Which, I suppose, I was, but I kissed Radueriel, put him into a cab, and returned to work.

Charles drove us to the apartment. I quietly opened the door, closing it just as carefully. "We have to use the living room," I said, nodding to the bedroom. "I have a guest."

"Oh?" Charles asked, removing his coat and unbuttoning his shirt. He always smelled like Novocain; he told me once he was a dentist, so I attributed it to that. "The pretty dark-haired one from the club?"

I stripped quickly. "Yes. He is from out of town, and I would rather not wake him."

Charles shrugged as he stepped out of his slacks. "Whatever you want," he said, pointing to the couch. "On your back," he ordered, removing a condom from his pants pocket, ripping the package with his teeth.

I slung a leg over the back of the couch, the other I drew up to my chest. He grabbed the lube from the table where I kept it ready, smearing it along his slender shaft. I averted my eyes as he penetrated me; I felt no arousal, but that was nothing new with Charles. My enjoyment was not something he was interested in. He rocked into me, calling a name I had never bothered to ask about, and he slowly found his climax inside my body.

After the door closed, and I slipped my jeans back on, I laid on the couch for a long time. I watched the sun rise, my mind returning again to that sad, lost look on Radueriel's face when he saw Charles. I was not stupid; I knew Radueriel had figured out what Charles wanted with me. And I had brought the sleazy dentist back and let him fuck me with Radueriel in the next room.

What kind of being was I?

One whose existence was now in question, it seemed. I let out a long breath and stood from the couch, only to find Radueriel standing in the hall watching me.

"I wish you wouldn't do that!" I yelled, not sure why I was angry with him.

Radueriel calmly walked to the couch and sat down. "And I wish you would not do
that
," he replied, tilting his head toward the trashcan where Charles' used condom resided.

I crossed my arms. "I have to do something, Rad. I need to make my money, pay my bills. That is how I earn my living!"

"You cannot do that if we are to live together, Lucas," he said, finally using my new name. "I will not tolerate sharing you in such a manner. If money is such a concern, then I shall find employment and contribute to our home."

"Contribute?" I laughed. "Rad, you aren't going to be here long enough to find a job and contribute. I cannot stop my means of employment for the duration of your visit. I need money. Actually, you need to go home soon. I am sure He misses his Chief Recorder," I snapped sarcastically.

His eyes glazed over. "No, I don't think He does. I will find employment."

My patience was at an end. "Go home, Radueriel!" I screamed at him, throwing the novel he had been reading the previous night into the wall. "Go home and sing His praise and let your heart be light that you have seen me and know that the Fallen One is nothing more than a whore unworthy of you!" I said, choking on a sob as he stood up, anger shining in his face.

"You are truly that dense, Morningstar?" he asked. "You are all I am, all I ever wanted!"

"Go home!"

"I can't!" he screamed as loud as I, tears falling in crystalline drops from his lashes. "I can never go home, Morningstar!" He bowed his head, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. "I cannot go home," he said again, his voice softer this time.

I sat on the edge of the couch. "What do you mean by that?"

He laughed, though there was little humor in the sound. "Exactly that. I cannot return to Heaven. It was part of the deal."

"What deal? You were vague when you first mentioned it to me. Seems like there is a lot more to it than you let on," I chided, glaring up at him. How could he have hidden this from me?

Radueriel plopped down heavily on the worn cushions, wiping the tears from his cheeks angrily. "I missed you. Oh, by our Lord, how I missed you. I ached, and I wept, and the hole within my breast never sealed. Metatron convinced me to seek Him out, to ask His advice. He offered me the ability to come to you, to become corporeal, but there was a catch." He looked up at me with those sorrowful eyes, and I knew what he was going to say before he uttered the words. "If I wanted to return, I would have to bring the leader of the angelic rebellion with me. I would have to bring you to Him, of your own free will, so that you could bow before Him and repent."

I narrowed my eyes and felt white-hot fury bubble within me. "Never," I hissed. "I will
never
bow before Him again!" I bellowed as I stood up. "You should have known I would not agree to such a thing!"

He smiled then, and a wave of such peace and contentment rolled off of him and soothed my frazzled spirit. "Of course I knew, my love."

My anger bled from me almost at once. He had given up Heaven for me, to join me on Earth. I fell to my knees, resting my brow against Radueriel's thigh. "I would never bow to Him again, dearest, but you will ever have my love and allegiance. I am yours to command," I whispered to him, fighting the tears that threatened to spill at the intense devotion and love I felt in my heart for this beautiful being.

"Do not take another to your bed, Lucas," he said, once again reverting to my new name. "You are mine, and I do not wish to share you. I shall work to compensate for the loss of your extra income." His hand gently petted my locks, and I felt exhaustion pulling me down.

"Anything for you, Rad. I will not take another to my bed," I swore, nuzzling his hand.

Radueriel lightly pushed me away from his lap. "Let us go to bed now, Lucas. I am weary."

I got to my feet and extended my hand to him. "As am I." I led him back to our bed, cuddling close to him beneath our blankets as sleep overtook us.