Morganville - 10 - Bite Club (38 page)

"Yes. And no. Because I can't leave when you're hurting, but I also can't leave because there's so much I can learn." She took in a quick breath. "MIT can teach me amazing things, but it'll always be there, and science isn't a dying field. Myrnin knows things nobody else in the whole world can teach me, things that have been forgotten and need to be remembered. I know you don't like him, but learning from him is…unique."

"Well, that's a point." He didn't have any expression yet, and his body language was guarded at best.

"What else?"

"I can't leave before Eve and Michael work out this marriage thing."

"That could take a while."

"And I'm not even eighteen yet. I think my parents were right all along. I don't think I'm ready to move that far away."

He almost smiled. "Not ready to leave Nowhere, Texas, to go off to Boston. You think that through?"

"Oh yes," she said. "I've been thinking about it for days."

"You ever think about the other answer?"

"Yes," she said. "But not for a while now. Because there's one more reason: I don't want to leave you."

Shane took a step inside her room. Just a single step. She slid off the bed and took two toward him.

And they met in the middle, not touching, just looking. Trying to find something in each other's faces.

Hungry and scared to hope.

Claire said, "I need to make this right with you, Shane. Because I love you." She'd promised herself she wouldn't cry, promised, but now her eyes were burning and full of tears. She didn't let them fall as she twisted the claddagh ring from her finger and held it out to him. "But I understand if you want this back. I understand if you don't think you can trust me. You think I betrayed you, but I didn't. I really tried -- "

"God," Shane said. "You don't understand me at all."

And then he leaned forward and, with his good hand, slid the ring back on her finger.

He put his forehead against hers for a moment, then kissed her. It was the sweetest, most tentative kiss he'd ever given her, and it made the tears break free, and all she could taste was salt and desperation and the silence between them…. And then his arms went around her.

"I wasn't mad at you, and I didn't think you betrayed me," he said. "Not after the first few minutes. I know why you did it, why you kept it secret. You had to. You didn't want to hurt me. I get it."

She shuddered in relief and relaxed against him. His hand stroked her hair.

"I wish you'd told me," he said, "but Frank was right. I'd rather it was him living in that machine, if it had to be somebody. And maybe it's okay this way. He's not exactly gone, but he can't hurt me anymore.

He's just a voice. A ghost. A memory. Maybe all the best parts of my dad, and none of the worst."

"Then why didn't you talk to me about this?" She tried to say it reasonably, but it came out in a wail, full of pain.

"Because I wanted you to decide on your own. And I knew that if I said anything at all, you'd know how much I need you right now."

"You need me?" She looked up at him and felt her heart speed faster.

"It's been the toughest week of my life, not touching you. Not talking to you. Waiting to see what you were going to do." He kissed her again, a warm, damp touch of lips, exquisitely controlled. "But it doesn't matter whether you stay or go. I'll still need you. So if you want to go off to Boston, I'll wait. Right here, whenever you need me."

Claire smiled against the press of his lips and felt him smiling, too. It was like the sun coming out after all the long, cold days.

"You know what?" she murmured. "I need you right now."

His voice dropped lower. "Now?"

"Right now."

"Oh," Shane said, and backed her slowly toward the bed. "That's so exactly what I was going to say."

"Jinxies," she whispered, but the word was lost between them when he kissed her, so hot and sweet.

And once again…she liked his version better.