More Than Words: Kissed By A Muse #3 (17 page)

‘You were in Niagara Falls?’ Callie’s eyes widened. ‘Whatever for?’

‘Before I had no fucking idea why- I had amnesia- but now...’ he gestured to the waterfall. ‘I guess it makes sense. It’s always the waterfalls, isn’t it?’

Calliope followed his gaze to the falls. ‘It’s wherever nature’s in motion… some of us flow into the world like water, others, like me…’

‘Ride the lightning,’ he said softly, remembering it all.

Callie stared at him, then nodded slowly. ‘You stopped playing music for me six months ago. After I started seeing…’

‘Hunter.’

‘Yes.’ Calliope looked more uncomfortable than he’d ever seen her look before. It wasn’t like goddesses to fidget, but she shifted her weight on her feet, her eyes darting everywhere but to him. ‘Is that why you…?’

‘I have no idea,’ he said honestly. ‘But that was the when. I woke up in a gorge in Niagara River six months ago with no recollection of who I was or where I’d come from. I only had this,’ he held up his finger, frowning when he realised that unlike everything else- the memory of that ring or where he hadn’t gotten it from had not returned to him. ‘I was rescued from the water by…’ Electricity sluiced through Ryan’s veins on the highest, most shocking level of voltage. Jaw open, he stared at Calliope, uncomprehending. ‘Imogen! Fucking IMOGEN!’ Ryan could not believe that he hadn’t connected the dots the moment that Rya’s voice had triggered his memories. The sweet, funky, old lady who had nursed him back to health and loved him like a mother, was the same bloodthirsty, scheming, vengeful beauty he had encountered both in the human realm and in Helicon. And not only were his Imogen and the muse of the written word one and the same- but she’d shown Ryan her true face just one day earlier- as Isabelle, Kathryn Praser’s assistant! She’d used the exact same, bombshell appearance she’d toted when she’d come into his life back in high school, as his English teacher’s girlfriend- firstly to inspire him, then to torment Calliope.

The eyes! The swirling, shifting grey to mauve eyes! Oh my god how did THAT not tip me off yesterday? Gah! She hadn’t been expecting to see me, surely? She wore glasses as my Imogen, so those eyes wouldn’t… I am SUCH an IDIOT!

The shock knocked Ryan on his ass again, literally. He sank back to his feet and squeezed his fingertips into his skull as though he could physically smush together the rational, enlightened thoughts with the confused, fuzzy ones and make sense of it all before he popped a blood vessel.

‘What?! Imogen pulled you from the water? My sister- Imogen?’

Ryan couldn’t talk, so he nodded.

‘WHY? HOW? Who? I-’

There was a splash and suddenly, a frail old lady with sodden, pale grey hair and glasses materialized in the centre of the lake. Ryan’s head snapped up to gape at her and seconds later, Calliope did the same.

‘Add What, When and Where to that Calliope, and you have the basic foundation to write a newspaper article.’ The old lady, whose face made Ryan’s heart flutter with relief, shook out her hair and like a swan to a princess- became the bombshell he’d once despised once more. ‘I’m proud of you Calliope- you must have been studying, hmm?’

Ryan framed his hands with his face and gaped at her.

‘It’s you,’ Calliope whispered. ‘You’re the one who pulled Honey from in front of the car! Imogen what are you playing at here?! How long have you-’

‘It’s Ryan I owe the explanations to here, if you don’t mind Calliope.’ Imogen stepped forward and knelt before Ryan, taking his hands in hers and staring at him with those incredible, pale grey eyes, which were glossy with building tears. ‘But before I explain what I know, can I just say one thing?’

Ryan swallowed, trembling anew.

‘I’ve missed you.’ And then Helicon vanished and they were back in Imogen’s kitchen. ‘Honey’ was playing on the radio and the only mother he’d ever had was slow-dancing with him and swearing that everything was going to be okay. Ryan wrapped his arms around her tightly, and scented pine needles and hot chocolate in the air, and silent tears streamed down his face and onto her shoulder, tears of gratitude as he realised that he’d never been truly alone- not for one second.

Seventeen

Honey

L
eigh didn’t know when she’d passed out again, but when she came to, the machine next to her hospital bed was beeping softly, and the sweet old lady who’d saved her life and kept her company during the doctor’s exam had vanished. Dread settled over her prone form, but Leigh had never liked to give misery the chance to pin her down completely, so she struggled against it and sat up, her head spinning but thanks to the drip in her arm, not hurting.

The hospital room was identical to every other she’d ever been in before, except Honey couldn’t remember ever having been alone in a hospital room before. Someone had always been there, either her mother or father or both, each refusing to leave her side for even a second, and the silence and chill in the room was unsettling. She pulled at her paper gown, having an episode until she realised that yes she was still wearing her bra, and that her pocket watch was attached. She sank back against the pillows and breathed in gently, trying not to over-extend her bruised ribs.

After all of these weeks of trying to be independent… I’ve never needed to be held or coddled as badly as I do right now!

Leigh hugged herself as she waited for the world to come the right side up, feeling the bandage hugging her head in a similar fashion, only she couldn’t hug her chest tight enough to keep from feeling the ache in her heart- there was no bandage for losing Ryan; no drugs, and no hug would ever hold her as tightly and make her feel as at home as his arms had. Like a spider pouncing from a web, dread dropped and fell upon her and Honey cried out, doubling over and gasping in a breath so she wouldn’t start crying again. She’d bawled when she’d come to in the ambulance with the old lady for company instead of her husband, and every sob had made her head feel like it was splitting open as violently as her heart. To avoid that pain now she moaned and squeezed her eyes shut- not wanting to see the digital clock that read that it was two in the morning- to see that Ryan had had four hours to locate her, but had not. The optimistic leprechaun who had set up camp in her heart at conception and never left, tugged on her heartstrings now and plead its case:

Maybe he did, though! Maybe he’s been watching over you since the lady left and didn’t want to wake you! Maybe he’s gone to the bathroom or to get a coffee or a bunch of flowers or a toffee apple or-

Leigh’s heart twisted hard enough to snuff out that hopeful spark before it could catch and blaze brightly enough to incinerate her. Ryan wasn’t waiting for her. Ryan knew that she could only be in two places; the hotel or the hospital. The old lady had said that he’d been okay- that Melody had pulled him out of the car’s path as she had saved Leigh and that was a relief. But he wasn’t with her now, which meant that he either didn’t care, or was too lost in the return of his memories for Leigh to even warrant a visit now.

God! How much could he have loved her, for him to go from the most thoughtful man on the planet- to the most thoughtless once he had her in his sights again? Wanting to split up now that he remembers who his true love is, is one thing- but seeing me almost get hit by a car… and walking away? God was he HOPING I’d die, and get him out of an awkward entanglement?

Tears of horror filled her eyes. Leigh didn’t want to believe that Ryan was capable of such things- but she’d already believed the best in him, and where had that gotten her?

A
nd he has a child with her- he has everything. Married or not, Melody Marks looked every bit as shocked as he to find him again. She didn’t abandon him- she’s no Kylie Lyle. He must have gotten lost and for him not to have been introduced to his daughter… gosh… he must have been in that state for years! Is that why he jumped? Was it because he’d been a deadbeat dad? That kid was at least six and she didn’t know him… he must have had her as a teenager! Oh my GOD! Is she going to leave her husband? Or is Ryan going to lose again- and go off the fucking falls again? Don’t I count AT ALL? Don’t I even get a good-bye? I…

Leigh couldn’t hold in the tears any longer. She bowed forward and sobbed into her hands, losing her balance in the process and tumbling off the bed and onto the floor in a cold, crumpled and broken heap. It hurt her everywhere, waking up bumps and bruises from the accident that she hadn’t felt before when her body had still been in shock. She’d been pulled back so hard that the woman had lost control and flung Leigh right into the gutter. Her head had hit there and she now had four stitches on her crown, and her ankle had slammed into the tyre of a car parked on the side of the road. Nothing was broken, nothing but her heart, but combined the agony was unbearable, and the cold floor only made it worse.

I have to go home.

Sobbing openly now, Leigh reached up for the visitors chair in the small private hospital, and began to pull herself to her feet, hoping that she’d at least been with it enough to thank the old woman properly. And then she saw the copy of Black Beauty that had been left on her chair on top of a stack of outdated magazines, and felt the soft cloth bookmark on her un-punctured wrist- and the irony of it all made Leigh’s blood boil. She picked up the book and hurled it hard at the window, enjoying the thud of rejecting words now that she had none.

‘Don’t you think…?’ she whispered bitterly, and then draped herself over the chair and cried as though she’d never stop, knowing she deserved all of this and more, for having wanted to leave the only two people in the world who could ever truly love her- her mother and father.

Ryan

‘What did you do, Imogen?’ Calliope’s voice sounded brittle around the demand, and Ryan was surprised to find the sound of her melodic voice grating after years of having worshipped it. ‘I don’t understand!’

Imogen pulled back from Ryan and wiped his tears away with her thumb. ‘I didn’t do anything intentionally,’ she answered him, not Calliope, and he was grateful for that. After years of treating him like a dust mite in the air, Ryan was finally being acknowledged as a being worthy of a goddess’s time and he felt as though he’d earned that much. ‘You have to understand that there was almost no precedent for this. I mean, I brought father and mother back after inspiring your old school friend Marnie Winters to pen a series about them… but they were supreme, cosmic beings, and I didn’t think that what had worked for them would work for you.’ She looked down at their now laced fingers, and her tiny hand was trembling. Ryan had no idea what she was talking about, but Imogen looked up, smiled gently and continued on. ‘I met Kathryn Praser at a writer’s conference. Ironically, she was the one writer there who was there as a spectator. She’d never written a whole book before, you see, and was just there to get a look-in to the industry.’

KATHRYN PRASER?!

Ryan’s lips parted on a surprised inhalation. ‘So… so I am THAT Ryan?’ The moment the question was out though, he instantly understood that the answer was a hard ‘yes’. Of course it was him! He re-read the book in a heartbeat then with his memories in place, and saw that there were almost NO differences between Ryan Weaver from The Hardest Fall and himself- only the circumstances.

Imogen nodded. ‘Yes. I could feel her gift from the other side of the room and I ended up joining her at the banquet later that night. We chatted, we exchanged numbers… this was in Toronto, and I went and got the Niagara residence the very next day so that I could be closer to her.’ Without releasing his hands, Imogen swished her hair off her face and onto her shoulders. ‘She started writing about you that very night. I hadn’t even gotten around to implanting the idea of a rock star like you into her head yet either! She must have just picked up on whatever vibes I was sending out and…’ Imogen blew out a puff of air and shook her head. ‘I could not believe how she’d pegged you, Ryan. Every detail- every word every pretty little tooth- right where they had been in my memory! Of course she wrote a slightly different story in a different location and different characters-’

‘Kylie Lyle, instead of Callie Clay,’ he said softly. ‘Niagara Falls instead of the gorge…a heart transplant instead of a heart episode… but I was the same, and Justin and Hunter are pretty close...’

‘What about me?’ Callie asked, sounding fascinated.

‘Just as beautiful. Just as unattainable,’ Ryan said, smiling softly at her.

‘Just as selfish and prone to re-bounding,’ Imogen added lightly, and Calliope threw a handful of grass at her sister- turning it into black ants on the way. But both girls giggled, and Imogen shook off her dress, and rose petals floated down to the grass where the ants had been. Ryan stared at them, shaking his head in amazement. Imogen’s power had quadrupled in his absence!

‘Anyway, when I read the name … GOD. I begged her to change it, worried it would call attention to your death, so many years before- but she refused. She said she’d dreamt of a musician named Ryan Weaver and that was who you were and would always be.’

Once again, Ryan could not believe what he was hearing. ‘I didn’t even know you could do that…’

‘Neither did I!’ Imogen shook her head, and her eyes were almost as wide as Honey’s. ‘But it happened, and I can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube once I’ve stepped on it- none of us can-’

‘American Pie would be a verse shorter if we could…’ Calliope groused, earning an understanding wink from Imogen.

‘I’ll see your long-ass song and raise you ten thousand crappy Indie novels,’ she teased, before turning back to Ryan. ‘In the end, I rationalized it away by thinking that really, I’d wanted your memory honored, and I’d done so. If the people who had known you back in Horizon had put the two and two together, they might have thought it a coincidence, or they would have dug into Kathryn and found no ties…. Regardless it was out of my hands and under her name, and it was hardly the first time I’ve inspired a fictional character using a real one, and most of my authors get away with it. Hell- a lot of them do it on purpose but at least in Kathryn’s case, she could plead plausible deniability.’

‘Wait… you’re saying that you got an author to bring Ryan back to life the way you did with Zeus?’ Calliope demanded, swooping over and sitting on Ryan’s left.

‘That’s what I did, yes. Only I only ever meant to bring back a shadow of him in tribute, you know? Like in some of Hunter’s songs.’

Ryan swallowed. ‘Hunter’s written songs about me?’

‘Dozens,’ Calliope whispered. ‘That man hasn’t let two minutes pass him by without thinking about you Ry.’

Ryan’s eyes grew wet again. ‘Wow.’ He looked at Imogen, puzzled. ‘That makes sense I guess, because I was the guy’s best friend. But you…?’

Imogen stared down at their hands again. ‘I couldn’t get your death off my conscience,’ she admitted softly. ‘I’ve done some messed up things in my time- we all have. Sometimes as goddesses, sometimes as human raising hell… but what I did to Calliope in Harley’s name- well- that was different.’ She swallowed again. ‘It wasn’t for my craft.  It was done out of spite. Yes I taught Calliope a lesson she sorely needed to learn… but you paid the price for it more dearly than anyone.’

‘I said I’d die for her,’ Ryan argued. ‘That was Ardos’s doing, not yours.’

‘But she wouldn’t have been made mortal and needed you to make such a promise, if I hadn’t insisted that she be punished as severely as possible,’ Imogen contradicted. ‘I didn’t understand you, any of you, until I spoke to you and heard your side of the story. That led me to seeing my own soul-mate for the first time, and I am so grateful for that. I know that one day- even if it’s centuries from now- I will need him more than words, and I look forward to that. But I haven’t felt a true moment’s happiness since the night you died, and I needed to do something.’ She squeezed his hands. ‘I needed to give the world a little bit of Ryan back.’

Ryan blushed and felt the warmth in his heart. ‘So I exist, because of you?’

‘No. You exist because of imagination, just like here-’ Imogen released his hand and gestured to the area around them and Ryan realised that they were now on a huge stage that he did not recognize. ‘It’s from the book,’ she said softly, then clicked her fingers and they were sitting on the banks of the Niagara River, where Ryan busked, only there was not another soul in sight. ‘Your character, like Memoria and Zeus, was so beloved that you were willed into existence.’

‘What?’ Calliope sounded more shocked than him. ‘How is Ryan walking around because of a book I’ve never heard of, but not the sparkly dude from Twilight, or the cat-girl from The Hunger Games?’

‘Katniss,’ Leigh hissed the word at her sister, and thunderheads piled up above them. ‘And I assume the reason why you know about them, and not The Hardest Fall, is because you’re still waiting for the movie to generate enough buzz before you bother with the book.’

Calliope narrowed her eyes at her sister. ‘Thespia needs help too, you know,’ she said, naming the muse of the theatre, whom Calliope had always had a strong bond with. ‘I read, Imogen but don’t forget that I’m living as a mortal now- which means I have to actually raise a child, clean a house, tour-’

‘Don’t even start me on that,’ Imogen said, making it plain that she was as wary of Calliope’s human existence as he had been upon first learning of it. She turned back to Ryan. ‘But the point is, yes you were brought back to life by a book. That was easier for my mother and father to accomplish, because they only existed because of imaginations in the first place; a few million people worshipped them thousands of years ago, and thought them into existence. Then the world changed and Zeus and Memoria lost their hold on their follower’s hearts, and faded until a very talented writer, inspired by their daughter- wrote them back into relevance.’