More Than Willing (25 page)

Maggie looped the basket handle over her arm and opened one of the double French doors that led to the flower garden. She stopped when she reached the edge of the
terrace to look out at the brilliant array of flowers and bushes and shrubs of every kind imaginable. The sight never ceased to amaze her. The colors reminded her of the flowerbeds her mother had kept in her private garden behind Bradford Brewery, but the flowers here were even more beautiful.

Maggie picked several of the blooms off some early zinnias, then moved to a bed of carnations. Her basket wasn’t nearly full enough to make even a modest bouquet before she was overtaken with another bout of tears. She sat down on the nearest bench and let the tears that always seemed so near the surface run down her cheeks.

When would she stop missing him?

She pressed her hands to her increasing waistline and knew she never would. Even if time caused the pain to lessen, she knew the son Gray had planted inside her would be a constant reminder of the love she’d walked away from. But what choice had there been. She wasn’t brave enough to live the life her mother had lived. And that’s the only life she and Gray would have. And yet…

She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked down into her basket of fragile flowers. If she were completely honest with herself, she’d have to admit she wasn’t at all sure she’d made the right decision. If she had to make the choice again right now, there wasn’t a doubt that she’d choose a lifetime of being in Gray’s arms only half the nights, over a future of never being in his arms again.

She wrapped her arms around her middle and held her breath for a long moment. There were times, like right now, when she knew she’d made the wrong decision, and if he somehow discovered where she’d gone, she’d—

“You’re sitting in my mother’s favorite spot,” he said from somewhere behind her. “I forgot how beautiful it was.”

A little shiver raced through her and she fought to release her breath in a sigh of pent-up emotion. “I can understand why your mother thought it was special. It’s very peaceful here.”

She didn’t turn around to look at him. She wasn’t ready yet.

He walked up behind her and didn’t stop until he was close enough she
felt the heat from his body.

“I’ve missed you.”

She swallowed hard. “Have you?”

“Yes. I was afraid I’d never see you again.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“I ran out of places to look for you. Father finally suggested I search where you assumed I’d never go.”

“You braved returning to Mayfair even though you swore you’d never step foot here again.”

“I’d have gone anywhere to find you. I couldn’t live another day without knowing you were safe and being taken care of.”

His words caused the lump in her throat to grow. “Your staff has taken excellent care of me. Too good, in fact. I’m being spoiled.”

“Remind me to give each of them a bonus.”

Maggie tried to chuckle, but she was too close to tears.

“I know why you left me, Maggie.”

She clamped her hand over her mouth to stop a sob.

“Even if only half of what you’d heard about me was true
, I’d be everything you’ve always wanted to avoid when choosing a husband. You were wise to leave me.”

“Gray, I—”

“Don’t say anything yet. I want you to hear me out.”

She waited for him to say more but he didn’t for a long time. Finally, he stepped around the bench and sat beside her.

She wanted to lay her head against him and have him wrap his arm around her and hold her, but she couldn’t. And he didn’t. In fact, he didn’t move except to reach over and take her hand.

He held her trembling hand in his large palm and lowered their nestled fingers to his thigh. Only in that small way were they bound to each other and her heart began a steady racing.

“All the way to Mayfair I planned what I would say and do if I found you here. My first strategy was to drag you back and force you to stay with me. But I knew you would only run away again, and next time it might be impossible to find you.

“My next plan was to rant and rave and bellow until you were so frightened you’d promise to come back with me and never leave again.” He laughed a humorless laugh. “I soon realized the folly of that idea. I can’t imagine you afraid of anyone.

“My last resort was to fall on my knees and beg you to come back with me, but I knew even that wouldn’t sway you.”

He twined his fingers in hers and gently massaged her flesh.

“Do you remember the only promise I ever made you?”

She tried to think and at first nothing came to mind. Then the words he’d spoken before he’d kissed her that first time came back with vivid clarity.

“You said you’d never kiss an unwilling female.”

“And that I’d never marry an unwilling bride.” He breathed a heavy sigh
, then gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to worry, Maggie, my love. I won’t ask you again to marry me.”

Maggie’s heart gave a painful lurch. This wasn’t what she wanted.

“Even if I told you I loved you every day of my life, they would still be only words. And you still wouldn’t believe them. I haven’t done anything to prove that I love you, have I? I even lied to you about why I’d come to the brewery.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that Father had lost the brewery?”

He hesitated as if uncertain whether to admit his reason.

“Because I was scared. I’d finally pushed my father too far and he cast me out with nothing but Bradford Brewery to provide my income. And Mayfair Manor, of course. I didn’t know the first thing about running a brewery, and I refused to ever step foot on Mayfair Estate again. I was as desperate as I’d ever been.

“On the way to the brewery I realized that the only chance I had of proving how wrong my father was about me was to make a success of the brewery. To do that I needed to learn everything there was to know about running a brewery. Except I knew the workers would hardly accept me if I rode in and announced I was the new owner.”

“But when you arrived, you found out that no one knew my father had lost the brewery.”

“I waited for him to come back. I knew it would be easier if he broke the news to you and the workers. In the meantime, I kept working. I learned everything I could in the time I was given.”

“But he didn’t return,” Maggie said on a sigh.

“And now I know why.”

Gray released her hand and stood. Even though it was a warm, sunny day, a blast of cold hit her and she almost cried out for him to come back to her.

“I’m not sure I can bear to hear all the reasons you won’t marry me.” He uttered a pathetic laugh that clenched inside her stomach. “In fact, I’m not sure of too much right now.”

“Then why did you come?”

He turned to her. “To tell you something.” He reached inside his jacket and took out two folded pieces of paper. “And to give you these.”

“What are they?”

“Read them.”

Maggie unfolded the first paper and read the top. It was the deed to Bradford Brewery. “What is this?”

“Just what it says. The deed to your brewery. It’s yours. No one can ever take it away from you again.”

With trembling hands, Maggie scanned the deed, then folded it again and unfolded the second sheet. It was the title to Mayfair Manor.

He’d given her everything he owned.

“I won’t take this. It’s your home.”

“I don’t want it.”

Maggie felt a welling of fear. “You can’t give away your home! And the brewery is yours. Your father won it.”

He smiled. “I need to know that you’re always taken care of. I need to know that you’ll always have a place to live.”

The air caught in Maggie’s throat. Gray was willing to give up everything for her. He was willing to forfeit everything he had in the world.

And by giving it to her, he was giving up any chance to live the life she’d accused him of wanting. Why would he give everything up unless…

She loved him more in that moment than she thought it was possible to love anyone. And she knew exactly what her mother had meant when she’d said she couldn’t live without Maggie’s father.

No matter what lay ahead, Maggie could not live without Gray.

“How do you plan to earn a living?”

“I can do anything, Maggie. Dooley told me I was one of the best mashmen he’d ever had. And no one was better at watching the coopers so the wort was heated to just the right temperature. There’s no need to worry about me. I can find work in any brewery. And I can count on Murdock to give me a glowing recommendation.”

“That’s what you’d do? Work in a brewery?”

“Do you think I consider work beneath me?”

She shook her head and swallowed hard. “No, I don’t think that.”

“Don’t tell anyone, Maggie, my love, but I’ve grown rather fond of the brewery. It seems I just might enjoy brewing a fine ale as much as I enjoy drinking one.”

There was a nonchalance in his voice, but she heard the seriousness of his words. And it struck her square in the middle of her heart.

She kept her head lowered so he couldn’t see the tears streaming down her cheeks. “You said there was something you wanted to tell me. What was it?” she asked in an unsteady voice.

“It doesn’t matter any longer. It’s too late now.”

“But I’d still like to know,” she managed to say.

“Very well. I just wanted you to understand that all I ever wanted was for you to need me as much as I need you.”

A small cry escaped her.

Oh, she did. Except she needed him because she loved him. She wanted him because she couldn’t live without him.

And she’d been so blind she thought he only needed her like her father had needed her mother—to run the brewery.

Oh, she loved him. And no matter what, she couldn’t live her life without him.

“Good bye, Maggie.”

He moved and she knew he was going to leave her. Her heart beat a frantic rhythm.

“If you ever need anything,” he said as he took the first step away from her, “contact my father. He’ll know where I am.”

He took another, then another, and she thought her heart would shatter before she found the courage to stop him. “Gray.”

He stopped and turned.

Oh, she loved him. He was everything she’d always dreamed of in the man she would marry. He’d already proved that he was willing to give up everything he owned for her. Now it was her turn to prove that she was worthy of his love.

“Did you mean it when you said you wouldn’t ask me again to marry you?”

“I meant it.”

“I see,” she said on a sigh filled with disappointment. She hesitated, then said, “What if I asked you?”

His look of confusion followed by a glimmer of hope in his beautiful blue eyes was priceless. Her heart leaped inside her
, but couldn’t take flight until she’d revealed the only other thing that tethered it “To be truthful, I…I suppose I should rephrase my question a bit.”Her fingers slipped gently across her abdomen. “What if…
we
…asked you?”Gray looked to where her hand shielded evidence of the babe. His expression froze, lifted slowly in understanding, then settled into a gaze of pure joy. “Maggie! Maggie, my love!”

“And I suppose you meant it when you said you’d never marry an unwilling bride.”

“I meant it.” He took the first step back to her. “I won’t marry an unwilling bride.”

He reached her in a few eager steps
, and when he looked into her eyes he gently brushed the tears from her cheeks. “Don’t cry, Maggie. Not when you’ve just told me…this!” His hand slid across hers, as if to welcome the babe.

“I’m not crying. I’m just—”

She stopped, unable to think of a lie he’d come close to believing.

“I can’t live without you, Gray. Will you please marry me?”

He sucked in a breath fraught with emotion. “I won’t marry an unwilling bride, Maggie, my love.”

She smiled. Then wrapped her arms around his neck.

“You won’t have to,” she said as she threaded her fingers through his hair and brought his lips down to meet hers. “This bride is more than willing.”

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About the Author

Laura Landon enjoyed ten years as a high school teacher and nine years making sundaes and malts in her very own ice cream shop, but once she penned her first novel, she closed up shop to spend every free minute writing. She has written more than a dozen Victorian historicals.

Laura loves to hear from her readers. You can write to her by visiting her web site at www.lauralandon.com.

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Also by Laura Landon

SHATTERED DREAMS

WHEN LOVE IS ENOUGH

A MATTER OF CHOICE

BROKEN PROMISE

NOT MINE TO GIVE

and from

MONTLAKE ROMANCE

at Amazon

SILENT REVENGE

INTIMATE DECEPTION

THE MOST TO LOSE

This is the second publication of MORE THAN WILLING. In 2010 it was released by Wild Rose Press, and was Laura Landon’s very first book to make its way into the hands of eager readers. In the subsequent two years, Laura has published five books with Prairie Muse, selling over 170,000 copies, and in October of 2012 Amazon released three of Laura’s books that vaulted her to the top of the most-read romance and historical authors lists at Amazon for many consecutive weeks. At the time of this release, she remains among the Top 20 Authors of Historical Romance at Amazon.

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