More Than Him (24 page)

I held her head in my hands and kissed her hard. "No one stole me away from you. I told you that you own me. You've always owned me. I was always yours."

I lifted her wrists to my lips and kissed them again. Closing my eyes, I took a breath. I wanted savor this moment—with her in my arms and our forever in front of us. "Did you ever think to get them removed?" I asked.

"No," she answered quickly. "Never. The year you were gone, I could look at them and remember the feelings I had when I got them, and all those feelings I had for you. The way you made me feel alive, and the way you made me feel loved. The way you made me feel like I was the only girl in the entire world. And how you'd do anything and everything for me. You took my nightmares and turned them into dreams. If ten, twenty, thirty years from now, I look down at them and can still feel all those things, still remember the way I felt—the
love
I felt when I was with you, then it's worth keeping."

"And you still feel that way about me?"

"No." She shook her head, but her eyes stayed on mine. "Now, I feel
more.
"

"And what if I didn't come back? What if you'd married some other asshole?"

"Then that other asshole would always know that I belonged to you first."

I inhaled slowly, as I let her words sink in. "I love you so fucking much," I told her, right before I kissed her. I needed her to know how I felt; I wanted this kiss to represent it, but I don't think it even came close.

She smiled down at me. "I love you, too, babe."

"Ha." I swallowed down my nerves. "No, Amanda, I don't think you get it." I held her tighter and brought her head to my chest. "I don't just
love
you. It's like the word I want to use hasn't been invented yet. Maybe it's because no one's ever felt this type of love before. Maybe I'm the first to feel it. I don't know. I can't explain it. But those words—I love you—they just don't seem like enough. Not anymore."

I gripped the back of her shirt with my hand to try to hide the trembling. It didn't work. She felt it right away, like she was a part of me. "Your hand's shaking." She placed her hand on my heart. I'm sure she could feel it.

Thump.

Thump.

"What's going on, Logan?"

I tried to level my breathing, let my body settle down, but it wouldn't change what was happening. It wouldn't change how I felt, or what I wanted to say. So I told her the truth. "I'm trying really hard to stop myself from asking you a really, really, stupid question."

Her head lifted again. "What stupid question?"

"
The
question." I wanted to ask her to be mine forever.

A gasp escaped before she could stop it. "Oh," she said, her eyes wide.

Then it was silent.

We both stared at each other.

Waiting.

Wanting the other to speak first.

She cleared her throat. "I would've said yes," she whispered.

"I know," I said honestly. "That's why I didn't ask you. It can't be like this. Not now. Not yet."

"I would've if you’d asked me in Vegas, too."

My eyes narrowed. How did she know about that? Then it hit me. The journal. "I thought it would be okay, but it's not. I want to give you everything. The world, remember? When we do—it needs to be right. We have to have everyone's support."

She knew what I meant. We had to tell Ethan.

"I have an idea," she said, kissing my neck softly.

"Mm?" Within seconds, the trembling in my hand had ceased and my heart rate had settled, "What's that?" My hand went under her shirt, the other on her ass; she'd started to move her hips, rubbing herself on my dick. It only took a second before I was hard as a rock.

"I think . . ." She trailed off. Her mouth sucked harder, as it made its way up my jaw.

She drove me crazy. My hand went under her panties, gripping her bare ass. I squeezed hard. She moaned into my skin, pressing harder onto me. My other hand went higher on her back, through the neck hole of my jersey she was wearing. I laced my fingers in her hair and curled them, gripping and pulling softly until she lifted her head. "You think what?" I breathed out.

She sat up, her palms flat against my stomach. She wet her lips, closed her eyes, and moved on me. Just once. But it was all I fucking needed. My cock rubbed in between her legs. Our only barrier: our underwear. I wanted them gone. I wanted nothing between us.

She opened her eyes. They landed where we connected. Her hips moved back and forth a few more times. "I think . . ." She trailed off again. She lifted her gaze and looked around the pool house. She chewed her bottom lip as she took in the space, then finally, they rested on me. She removed her top, her breasts out in the open, waiting for me. I sat up on my elbows and took one in my mouth. Slowly making circles. Savoring this moment. "Oh God . . ." she moaned.

She pulled back, and her fingers curled around the band of my boxers as she pulled them down, freeing my raging hard-on. She ran her palm across the head. It jerked against her hand. Her eyes went wide. Then she shifted again until she was back grinding on me. My bare dick against her panty-covered pussy. Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed. She started to moan. I wanted more. Slowly, lightly, I ran my hands on the inside of her thighs. She didn't stop me. Not even when I got to where we joined. I slid my finger under the material and moved it to the side. We both moaned when it was skin on skin contact. She was so fucking wet. I was so fucking hard.

"You think what?" I asked her again.

She started moving harder, faster.

I cursed under my breath.

"I think . . ." She stopped moving and opened her eyes.

Then she slid off me, pulling my boxers down with her. I lay naked on the bed with my dick standing up in the air. Her eyes raked me from head to toe, resting longer than they needed to on my junk. I placed my hands behind my head and let her take her time. I could never get sick of her reaction to my body. Ever.

"I think you and I need to make new memories in here." She pushed her panties over her hips and let them fall to the floor.

I tried to speak, but her standing naked at the end of my bed, offering herself to me, was too much. I’d failed the first time, and the second. By the third, I'd finally gotten my shit together. "I think that's a really great idea."

25

Amanda

He came to a stand next to me. His breath warmed my cheek but I kept my eyes straight ahead, focusing on the bed in front of me. One of is his fingers brushed against my lip, down my chin and in between my breasts. He kept moving it lower and lower until I felt it between my legs. I let out a gasp.

"You want to make memories?" he said into my ear. His voice was scratchy and oozing with lust.

I sucked in a breath and held it.

"Close your eyes," he ordered. It was soft but demanding, just like his touch.

I did what he asked. He still had that power over me.

Then I heard his footsteps, moving around the room. I exhaled loudly, just as I felt his hand on my breasts. He cupped them both, then ran his thumb over my nipples. I whimpered, and squeezed my legs together. "You trust me, right?" His thumb on my nipple was replaced with his mouth, his tongue making circles around it. My hands fisted at my sides, and my back arched, pushing my breasts further into him.

I wanted to open my eyes. I wanted to see him. My breaths became heavy, my mouth dry. Then he was gone. My eyes snapped open, and he was right there—in the small space between the bed and me. "Pretty girl," he sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I told you to close your eyes."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off with a kiss. "It's okay," he said into my mouth, and then he pulled back, smirking, right before lifting his hand to show me a tie. "Now I'm going to have make sure of it."

He took a step forward, his hardness pressed against my stomach. He made a show of blindfolding me, knotting it tightly at the back of my head. He moved behind me, making sure it was secure, and then he growled over my shoulder. "I want you on your hands and knees, crawling on the bed."

I whimpered. "Logan," I whined, covering my breasts and sex with my hands.

"Amanda," he scolded. "What's wrong? Are you self-conscious?"

I swallowed my nerves, chewed my lip and nodded once. Then he was in front of me. "Are you kidding me?"

I stayed silent. He removed my arms and exposed my breasts. Kissing my neck slowly, he directed my hand to his dick, encouraging my fingers to wrap around it.

"Does this feel like you have any reason to be self-conscious?"

I let out a moan as he slowly pumped into my hand.

Then he pulled away, moving behind me again. His palm splayed flat against my stomach as he pushed me forward. "Hands and knees," he repeated.

I did what he asked, climbing onto the bed and slowly crawling forward. I tried to stay confident, remembering his words and how he’d felt under my touch. "That's it baby, keep going." I felt the bed dip as he climbed on behind me. His hands covered both my ass cheeks as he squeezed them, tight. I was wet, so fucking wet I could feel it dripping down my leg. "Stop," he said. I did. Then, lifting my hands slowly, he guided them to the top of the bed head. "Don't let go." I felt the bed shifting again; he was moving away. "Spread your legs," he ordered.

Ho. Lee. Shit.

I'd been with Logan before; he was always alpha in bed, but never like this. The effect it had on me must have been evident when his finger slid effortlessly inside me. "Oh fuck," he mumbled. And that's when I felt it; his warm breath blowing against my wetness. I didn't have time to ask him what the hell he was doing before his mouth covered me. My hips jerked instantly when his tongue made contact with my clit. "Holy shit, Logan."

I started thrusting slowly, encouraging his mouth and his tongue to fuck me and bring me over the edge. It only took seconds, my body already prepared for the build up. My thrusts came faster, jerkier. He grabbed handfuls of my ass, pulling me down onto him. And then he sucked. Hard. It was all I needed. I screamed his name—louder than I’d thought possible. I tried to move off him but he kept going, his mouth insistent on getting everything out of me. I rode out every wave, every shock, with my throbbing sex on his face. He never let up, not until the last wave hit and my body became limp. "Holy shit," I breathed.

I tried to open my eyes to get my bearings, but the blindfold was still on. The bed shifted again, as he pulled out from underneath me. Moments later, I felt his hardness against my ass, his chest against my back and his breath against me ear. "We can't go any further."

"What?" My chest heaved. "Why?" I panted, trying to fill my lungs with much-needed air. "But I need you."

He bit my earlobe gently. "I need you, too, baby. But I don't have anything."

"Huh?"

"Condoms—I don't have any."

"Oh." I took a few more breaths. "Did you get tested when you got back?"

"Yes—for everything."

"Then we're good, I'm safe."

He let out a breath. "Thank fuck."

I felt the air hit my back when he straightened up. He slid his dick between my folds, spreading me open for him.

"You have to go slow, babe. It's been a while. I need to get used to your size."

He grunted as he slowly slid inside me, inch by inch, letting me get comfortable.

"Okay," I assured him, once I'd taken all of him. I felt his hand flatten on my back as he pulled out almost all the way and then thrust back in slowly. He did this a few more times, coating his dick with my juices.

"I fucking love watching you take me like this. Your ass is incredible."

His words turned me on even more. I started meeting him thrust for thrust. He was so slow, so gentle.

I wanted more. I needed more. "Logan?"

"Mm?"

And I don't know how the words were formed or how I let them leave my mouth. "Fuck me," I begged.

He moaned. Then one hand cupped my breast, the other rubbing my clit.

"Are you sure, baby?" He kissed down my spine.

"Please, Logan." I needed him.

"Hold on tight," he ordered, right before he moved.

Within minutes, I exploded again. It was stronger this time, and I felt myself throbbing around him. He pulled back, released my breast and splayed his hand against my back again. He kept pumping into me, harder, faster, just the way I wanted it. "Fuck me!" I demanded.

Then I felt him get bigger inside me, right before his body stilled and a growl escaped him.

26

Logan

"Why did we agree to be up this early?"

I heard her low chuckle from next me. "Because we didn't plan on staying up half the night."

I turned to face her. "Mm," I hummed as I took her in. Short shorts and a tight tank covered just enough of her perfectly tanned skin. Her long legs kicked out in front of her, crossed at her ankles. We were sitting on a bench just outside the entry gate to the carnival.

I ran the backs of my fingers against her thigh, flipped my cap backwards, and moved in to kiss her neck. She chuckled again. "What are you doing?"

"Just remembering last night."

She turned her face towards me and skimmed her lips against mine. "Yeah?" she whispered, kissing me once. "Are you remembering that part where I asked if I could finger your a—"

I cut her off with a kiss, and then deepened it. One of her hands fisted into my shirt, the other curling around my neck, bringing me closer. I pulled back slightly. "Don't bring that up ever again."

She chuckled into my mouth. "Fine, just keep kissing me."

So I did.

She moaned when my hand went under her top and rested on her waist. My fingers dug into her skin when her tongue brushed against mine. I'd started to get hard.

"Hey assholes!"

We instantly pulled apart and turned to see a kid standing in front of us.