More Than Friends (Kingsley #4) (33 page)

The next few weeks went by quickly for Michael, and as the date for Harmon
y’
s wedding to Xander grew closer, he and Renee grew closer, too. He spent a great deal of that time lost in thought, with Renee patiently present beside him as they watched movies, went walking together by the river, and spent lots of time with Michae
l’
s family as they worked together to prep for the upcoming wedding.

“
I ca
n’
t believe i
t’
s really happening
,
”
Renee had said quietly in his ear as they twirled around the dance floor at the engagement party
.
“
And like this, too! So glamorous
!
”

She had
n’
t been wrong; Harmony had stepped completely out of character for her wedding and had seen to it that the entire event was elegant and tasteful even though it was impossibly large and unspeakably fancy. The ballroom the engagement party was held in was filled from wall to wall with people, and with the exception of Evan, most of the Kingsley family felt more than a little out of place, surrounded as they were by Harmony and Xande
r’
s cast of celebrity friends
.
“
I know, i
t’
s fancy
,
”
Michael had whispered back, smiling uncomfortably as an a-list actor swept by, dancing beautifully with Minx, one of the female wrestlers Harmony worked with. Outside of the ring, she was an outspoken Australian beauty, quick-witted and fun to be around.

“
Maybe
I’
ll have this one day
,
”
Renee had murmured, laughing playfully at Michae
l’
s discomfort.

“
Oh yeah? Better go snag one of my siste
r’
s co-workers, then
,
”
Michael had grumbled back, grinning despite the irritation h
e’
d forced into his voice
.
“
Mechanics do
n’
t do paparazzi
.
”

Renee had laughed again, moving closer in his arms as he steered them away from the dance floor and toward the table where his parents had settled so that Eva could rest. She had insisted on having the cast removed from her wrist the previous week, informing her doctor that she had no intention of appearing in her daughte
r’
s wedding photos with a cast on her arm. The cast on her leg had been removed too, replaced with a walking cast that would allow her to dance at the party and stabilize her leg as needed, but could be taken off for any necessary photos, and at the wedding itself.

Outwardly, Michael had gone through all the proper motions; he had danced and attempted to mingle at the engagement party as expected, had stood proudly beside Xander during the first informal rehearsal, and had finally written both the appropriate toasts for the dinner after the formal rehearsal and the wedding reception. He still went to work, still ran his business. He still drank more than he should too, though he had been trying with some success to cut back.

And he still spent every possible moment with Renee. They had been nearly inseparable since the moment the
y’
d met, but once they had both recognized and acted on their mutual attraction, their relationship had taken on a certain level of permanence that both could feel and neither had the courage to mention. They still had their usual movie nights, complete with popcor
n
– which now made Renee frequently burst into random fits of laughter, remembering their first night togethe
r
– but now they spent that time curled up naked together in bed instead of fully clothed on Michae
l’
s couch.

“
Is it weird
?
”
he had asked her, waking up one morning to find her watching him
.
“
Us, being together like this? The way nothing has changed, except tha
t
–“

“
Everything has changed
?
”
She had ducked her head, the tip of her nose tickling his nipple as she pressed her face to his chest and laughed
.
“
Why? Is it weird for you
?
”

“
Only when I think about how weird it is
n’
t
,
”
he had answered, with complete honesty.

Now, he looked down at Renee as he stood up from his seat at the rehearsal dinner. The formal dress rehearsal had gone off without a hitch, Harmon
y’
s fears that something would inevitably go wrong seemed to have settled, Xander seemed to have recovered his nerve, and it was time for Michael to speak as the groo
m’
s best man. Renee looked up at him, smiling encouragingly, and he smiled back, trying to will his hands to stop shaking against the paper he had pulled from the breast pocket of his coat. Around him, the few people gathered at the small banquet for the formal dinner seemed to sense his readiness, and the hush of conversation gradually fell away into silence.

“I’
m supposed to give a toast
,
” he said, and broke to clear away the tightness in his throat. Across the table, Adam arched an eyebrow, and Michael straightened his shoulders
.“I’
m supposed to give a toast
,
” he said again, stronger this time
,“
but you should all know that
I’
m not speaking because
I’
m supposed to. You can probably already tell this is
n’
t my thing
,
” he went on, catching the amused smile that sparked in his mothe
r’
s eyes
,“
so if you know me at all, yo
u’
ll know tha
t‘
supposed t
o
’ is
n’
t nearly enough to make me attempt public speaking
.
”

He felt Rene
e’
s knee touch his leg under the shelter of the table and he unfolded the bit of paper in his hands, buying time as he began to feel everyon
e’
s eyes coming to rest on him. He heard Evan snort, heard him gasp slightly as someon
e
– probably Camero
n
– had taken physical action to shut him u
p“
Anyway
,
” he said, and dropped his eyes to the paper in his hands
.“
My siste
r’
s getting married, my baby sister Harmony. I
t’
s almost time, and in just a few hours our father will walk her down the aisle and give her to Xander, trusting him to take care of her and look out for her as her husband
.
” His voice caught in his throat, and as he looked first at his father and then atHarmony, he saw the teary-eyed look exchanged between father and daughter
.“
I
t’
s hard to believe the little girl who cried herself to sleep because she could
n’
t get her cartwheels just right is now sitting here completely grown up, accomplished and totally beautifu
l
… i
t’
s hard to believe tomorrow morning sh
e’
ll be dressed in her wedding finery, and sh
e’
ll go from being my kid sister to being Xande
r’
s wife
.
”

Around him, a whisper of quiet laughter made its way around the room, and he heard a sniff from his parent
s
’ direction that drew his eye again. His mothe
r’
s face was buried in an aged cotton knit handkerchief that had once been as white as snow but had now faded to a pale cream, bordered with a soft blue that must have been holding on by the strength of a miracle; it had been hand knit by her mother and was the same one she had been given to carry at her own wedding, the same one she had carried as she had watched the weddings of four of her children
.“
But i
t’
s not just about that
,
” Michael went on, looking around the room, making eye contact with his siblings and their spouses in turn, nodding to Evan, and then looking back at Renee. Renee had joined hands with her twin sister Chelsea, who had taken the hand of their adopted sister Cass; Cass was smiling into her lap, where Dre
w’
s big hand rested on her thigh
.“
I
t’
s not just about the old tradition of a father giving his daughter away in marriage, of the daughter leaving her place to be with her husband, or about the two of you
,
” he said, nodding to Harmony and Xander, sitting close together at the head of the long table
.“
I
t’
s about our family growing, accepting a new member as one of us. I
t’
s not just Xander tha
t’
ll be taking care of one of us; i
t’
s my sister, and all of us as her family, being willing to take care of him, too
.
”

Reaching forward, he plucked his glass from its place next to his plate, the deep red wine swirling as he lifted the glass into the air
.“
So
,
” he said triumphantly
,“
Welcome to the family, Xander. I wish you a successful marriage, a happy marriage, and more babies than my sister has the energy to chase
.
”

His stomach still twisting anxiously, Michael brought the glass to his lips and tipped it, sipping as the rest of his family followed suit
.“
That was good
,
” Renee whispered, leaning close to speak in his ear as he took his seat again
.“
See? Not so scary after all
.
”

She was wrong; speaking in front of everyone had covered his skin in tiny droplets of clammy sweat, had twisted his stomach into knots, and given him nightmares for days, dreams where he repeatedly relived his one public speaking event, the one where h
e’
d been named the top of his class in high schoo
l
– the one where he had spoken only three words of unintelligible gibberish before turning aside to throw up neatly beside the podium in front of the entire school. But the people that surrounded him were his family, and it
had
been much easier than he had anticipated to give the speech.

He thought perhaps his parents had been right to nominate him for the job, knowing as they did that he would be giving the best ma
n’
s toast following the actual wedding. Giving the rehearsal speech had been scary as hel
l
– but it had been good practice, as he knew that the wedding speech would be even harder with a larger audience.

And at some point, Michael knew h
e’
d have to gather his nerves for another speech he had written – a speech for an audience of one.

Seeing Nicolette for the last time at Xande
r’
s bachelor party, having to stand there and accept what she had told him as she confessed the truth behind their divorce, had flipped a switch in Michael that had given him freedo
m
– freedom to accept the divorce as something beyond his control, freedom to accept it as something other than a personal failure. Freedom to think even more seriously about moving on, and to do it without the crushing burden of doubt.

It wasn't a new thought, certainly; Michael had been wishing he
could
move on for years, craving companionship and comfort, longing for passion that was
n’
t emotionless. He had tried, too, but every dating attempt ended the same; with sex that made him feel unfaithful to a wife that was no longer his. The only variation had been how many dates took place before the sex, and there were never more than five. Not that he minded the sex, he thought, as he stood in the church and watched the pews fill. He winked at Renee, who had grinned and waved at him as she and Chelsea found their seats in the pews.

No, he had
n’
t minded the sex at all. But now that he had something
more
, he could look back and see just how strongly he had wanted the authenticity of a relationshi
p
– and he could see too, in hindsight, that even as h
e’
d pursued relationships with various women, his heart simply had
n’
t been in it. He still could
n’
t say honestly if he had been seeking to replace Nicolette, or only to cover up the pain of losing her, but it had
n’
t taken him long to give up on dating and just look for sex. Still, even that had left an uncomfortable weight of guilt on his conscienc
e
– not of unfaithfulness, perhaps, but of womanizing. Dating had made him feel like a cheater, but having no-strings-attached sex had made him feel like a user.

But then there was Sherry, and Michael had wanted to feel something then, had wanted to give her more than long nights and great sex. And now there was Renee, glancing over to smile at him now and then as she talked with her sister and their mother, Janet. Cass was seated in the pew in front of them, with Drew beside her, and in front of them, Michae
l’
s mother sat alon
e
– Adam had gone to take his place in the hallway, preparing himself to give away the last of his daughters.

Xander looked over at Michael, bumping his elbow gently to draw his attention
.“
How much longer
?
” he murmured quietly, his face flushing slightly trying not to move his lips.

Michael grinned, amused, and answered
,“
Dude, you have no idea. How long they take to get ready for a date is nothing to how long they take getting glammed up for a wedding
.
” He nudged Xande
r’
s broad shoulder with his own, holding back a laugh, and went on
.“
Seriously, man; I think when I got married, she went to the church the night before to start getting dressed
.
” He grinned at the dismayed look on Xande
r’
s face, marveling at how little it had hurt just then, to speak of his wedding. Renee caught his eye again, sending him a little wave that was barely more than the flutter of her fingertips. She held up her cell phone, dropped it into her lap, and pointed to the delicate watch encircling her slender wrist. Michael nodded, straightening his shoulders, and looked to Xander; he had seen the silent conversation and broken out in a sudden swea
t
– tiny beads of perspiration stood out on his forehead. Renee had gotten the prearranged text from Harmony. Everything was ready. It was time.

When the music switched from a slow, elegant classical tune, Xander straightened too; he and Michael turned as one to watch the chapel door as it opened. Xande
r’
s little niece, Laney, stepped into the open doorway first, her skirts swishing slightly, a basket hanging over the bend of one arm. She stopped abruptly in the center of the doorway, looking in at the number of people filling the pews, and Michael saw the light catch on the beaded bodice of her dress as she drew a breath for courage. Finally, she closed her eyes, stuffed her hand into the basket over her elbow, and took the first step forward. Michael smiled, watching her make her way shyly down the aisle, sprinkling bits of silver and gold confetti into the aisle, carefully avoiding the line of flickering candles that lined each side of the walkway. Behind her, Harmon
y’
s best friend Whitney moved into the doorway, but as he took notice of the pretty flush on her face and the way she seemed to be leaning against Eva
n’
s arm, he saw, too, the tender look in Rene
e’
s eyes as Laney made her way to the front of the church and took her seat on the pew beside her mother.

It was an unguarded look, a look of such profound longing that Michae
l’
s chest clenched tight around his heart, strangling his breath; he brought his fist up to his mouth and cleared his throat quietly, trying to dislodge the sudden lump of emotion that had formed there. The sound drew Xande
r’
s attention, though, and he turned questioning blue eyes toward Michael
.“
You alright
?
”

Michael nodded, smiling reassuringly
.“
Whitne
y’
s hair looks really pretty like that, hmm
?
”

Narrowing his eyes, Xander nodded
.“
Yeah. Look at her with your brother, though. What a pair
.
”

They
were
quite a pair, making their way down the church aisle together, Whitney in a soft gown of blood-red lace that spilled beautifully toward the floor, fluttering gently as she moved, with her slim little fingers curled around Eva
n’
s forearm. As they walked, Evan rested his free hand on top of Whitne
y’
s fingers, bracing her, guiding her down the aisle to the front of the church. They stopped together at the end of the walkway; Michael tipped his head curiously at the look that passed between them.

It passed in only seconds, but he was sure it had been there, a silent question of support in Whitne
y’
s eyes, the promisingly affirmative tilt of Eva
n’
s head.
What the hell was that about?
Butthen the moment passed; Evan released her, and she made her way to the altar alone, her eyes lowered, her hands skimming down her sides to smooth her dress. Michael looked at Xander again, but he had
n’
t notice
d
– his eyes were fixed on the doorway at the other end of the churc
h’
s aisle, slowly filling with tears.

Harmony was there, breathtaking in a white strapless gown, her smile radiant asshe gripped Ada
m’
s forearm. She brought her free hand up, touched her mouth briefly, and blew a kiss to Xander; the audience in the church laughed quietly, but Xander stood silent, motionless, his emotions flowing out to fill the space around him. Standing beside him, Michael felt as if the entire altar were suddenly electrically charged, and he bumped Xande
r’
s elbow gently with his own
.“
Good
?
” he asked quietly, his voice just barely audible.

Xander heard him though; his chin jerked as he nodded once. He bit down on his lip as Michael watched, to stop it from trembling, and released it on a sigh
.“
Sh
e’
s perfect
,
” he breathed.

Throughout the wedding Michael followed the guidelines of his duties: he stood proudly in support of his new brother-in-law, he witnessed the traditional sharing of vows between Xander and Harmon
y
– the speaking of words so old and so often used, but still so meaningful, spoken in love before their families. He attended the exchange of the rings, rings which had been warmed by their time in the breast pocket of his coat. He watched, from his vantage point behind Xande
r’
s shoulder, as Harmon
y’
s eyes sparkled with tears, filled with love as she looked up into Xande
r’
s face. And then it was over, the wedding was finished, and his baby sister was a married woman.

There was a pit of emotion in his belly; envy for her happiness, pride in her choice, simple happiness for her sake. Michael tried to quiet the storm, still standing by the altar as the pastor officially pronounced the marriage, smiling openly as Harmony and Xander made their way together down the church aisle and through the doors. Evan and Drew stood up, making their way slowly down the aisle as well, one man on either side, each with a silver candle snuff dangling at the end of a long silver handle. As they walked together, they dipped the tools down into each candle dish, extinguishing the flames as they made their way toward the door; behind them, a rush of people made their way from the church, heading toward the reception hall downstairs. Michael watched as his parents made their way together down the aisle too, a vision of the marriage he hoped his sister would have, of the marriage he himself had hoped for. A marriage he thought perhaps he might be willing to hope for again.

Renee was still there as he worked his way into the crowd and began to move down the aisle alone; she had waited at the end of her pew, standing with her tiny purse swinging cheerfully from her wrist as she watched for him
.“
Wow, that was something, hmm
?
” she asked, moving into the aisle beside him as he stopped to let her out.

“
It was
.
” She kept her face lowered slightly as they walked, presumably keeping the hem of her dress away from the still-liquid wax of the candles. Michael had seen her face though, several times throughout the ceremony, and he had seen how deeply affected she had been. There were still tear tracks in her makeup. He wanted to ask why she had been so touched this time, as opposed to when she had attended Cas
s’
s wedding to Drew,or when they had attended Cameron and Ma
c’
s wedding togethe
r
– he wanted to ask why he had caught her staring at Lane
y’
s mother as Bethany had cradled her sleeping son in her arms during the ceremony. Instead, he took her hand, lacing his fingers together with hers, and led her quietly down the aisle, through the doorway, and into a small alcove he had noticed at the end of the hall.

She glanced up once, curious as he led her away from the reception hall everyone else was headed toward, but she walked with him, her fingers comfortable between his own. In the alcove, she looked up again as he turned her to face him, stepping close as he leaned back against the wall and brought her neatly against his chest.

Michael looked down into her eyes, softened with romantic fantasy, smudged with the evidence of tears shed during the wedding, and took her face in his hands. Her cheeks were warm against his palms, and he felt her fists twisting against his stomach as she unbuttoned his suit coat to slip her hands inside; goosebumps covered him as her hands slipped along the line of his belt to clench together at his back.

The corners of her mouth lifted as Michael tipped her face, and she smiled against him as he lowered his mouth to hers. He could feel his own breath quickening, could feel her hands fist together against his lower back. She pressed herself closer, and Michael dropped his hands over her shoulders, smoothing his palms down her back, cupping her hips to pull her more firmly against himself
.“
I love weddings
,
” she whispered, when the kiss broke.

“
I think I love
you
,
” Michael whispered back.

“
Hmm
,
” Renee answered, smiling again
.“I’
d say i
t’
s about time you noticed
.
”

“
Maybe I was a little blind
.
”

“
Well come on, blind man
,
” she said, stepping back and tugging at his hands
.“
Ther
e’
s a wedding party going on downstairs, and i
t’
ll be noticed if you are
n’
t part of it
.
”