More Than Comics (5 page)

I jumped to my feet before I realized what I was doing. “That must be Tara. You can send her in.”

Maddie smiled. “Told you.”

I paced back and forth, too restless to sit again. Now that she was here I wasn’t sure what to say to her. How long would it be awkward between us after what happened at lunch? Maybe if I didn’t bring it up we could both forget about it.

But when the door opened it wasn’t Tara who stood there, but Becca, our former bassist.

After the way things had ended, Becca was just about the last person I’d expect to see in our dressing room. She looked better than she had the last time I’d seen her, when she’d gotten drunk, thrown a bottle at Jared’s head, and quit the band. Her blue hair was light blond now, like she’d bleached it, and she seemed more awake or something.

Jared stood up quickly, his eyes narrowing. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” Becca said, closing the door behind her. “I wanted to talk to you. Well, to the entire band.”

Shit, I hoped she wasn’t here to cause trouble. I glanced at Maddie to see if she was okay, but she looked more curious than upset. Even so, I stood up straighter, getting ready for a fight. Not a physical one, of course, but mentally preparing myself for whatever was about to go down. “Spit it out then.”

She rolled her eyes. “Relax. I just came to say sorry. That’s it.”

“You want to say
sorry
?” Kyle asked.

Becca ruffled her short hair, looking at the floor. “Yeah, I’m sorry. For everything that happened with us, and for quitting the band when you needed me. Oh, and for what I said to that reporter while you were on
The Sound
. I was drunk and didn’t realize he was recording it, and… yeah, that’s no excuse. It was still shitty of me even if I was drunk.”

“You drove all the way to San Diego to apologize to us?” I asked. It was a two or three hour drive from LA, where we all lived. Probably even more with Comic-Con traffic.

“I’ve been staying in San Diego with a friend since I got kicked out of my apartment last month. When I heard you were doing a show tonight I thought I’d stop by.” We still must have looked skeptical because she sighed and continued. “Look, I stopped drinking and doing all that shit and I’m trying to get my life together. In a few days I’m heading to Dallas to live with my sister, maybe go back to college and start over. So I wanted to make sure we were cool before I left.”

Jared didn’t look convinced, but Maddie placed a hand on his arm. “It’s all in the past,” she said to Becca. “Don’t worry about it.”

The two of them stared at each other for long beat, and then Becca nodded. If there was any lingering resentment between them, neither of them showed it. I was surprised Maddie would be so forgiving, until I remembered her mother was a recovering alcoholic, too.

“We’re cool,” Jared said, all traces of hostility gone.

“Thanks for the apology,” Kyle added.

I reluctantly nodded. She did seem sober, for once. I’d forgotten what sober Becca looked like. And if the other guys were over the whole thing, then so was I.

“Good.” Becca’s shoulders relaxed. “Sucks that you didn’t win
The Sound
, but it seems like the band is taking off anyway.” She flicked a thumb at the door. “I’m going to head out and watch the show.”

“How’d you get a backstage pass, anyway?” I asked.

“I hooked up with one of the security guards a week or two ago. Guess he’s still into me.” She shrugged. Jared laughed, and the tension in the room eased.

He grabbed one of the flyers off the table and held it out to her. “We’re having a party Saturday night. You should stop by.”

If it were up to me, I’d suggest we all go our separate ways and never speak again. But maybe Jared still felt bad for what had gone down between them. Another sign that he’d changed; the old Jared would have kicked her out of our dressing room by now.

She pocketed the flyer. “Maybe I will. Thanks.”

As soon as she left, we got the fifteen-minute warning. Time to exit our dressing room and head to the stage—but first, Jared pulled us all in for a band huddle.

He sucked in a deep breath before starting. “Tonight we’re playing a sold out show in our biggest venue ever. Thousands of people are waiting for us to go on stage. Can we just let that sink in for a minute?”

We all went quiet and the enormity of what we were doing really hit me. “Oh shit,” I said with a short laugh. “We are so screwed.”

“We’re still figuring some things out,” Jared admitted. “But this tour is our dream. And for us to achieve it so fast…of course there are going to be some rough spots along the way.”

“We practiced our asses off,” Kyle said. “We’ve got this.”

“I still can’t believe this is really happening,” Maddie said, with awe in her voice.

A slow smile spread across Jared’s face. “It’s happening. A few weeks ago we were playing frat parties, parking lot shows, and small clubs. Now we’re playing massive stadiums across America. Somehow, we’ve become an arena band almost overnight.”

Kyle shook his head, like he was shocked by it, too. “It’s been an amazing journey, and it’s only the beginning.”

“I’m so happy I could be a part of it,” Maddie added, sniffing.

“You guys are cheesy as hell,” I said, grinning at the three of them.

“Admit it, you love our cheese,” Jared said.

“I admit nothing.” He was right though. I loved Jared and Kyle like my own brothers, and Maddie already felt like a little sister to me, too. Even if they got a bit sappy sometimes and made me want to roll my eyes at them.

They all looked like they expected me to say something too, to finish up our little bonding moment. I wasn’t good at that stuff, but I cleared my throat and gave it a shot anyway. “Whatever happens, tonight will be great ’cause we’re together. We’re more than a band, we’re a family.”

“Aww,” Maddie said, her big eyes watering behind her glasses.

“See? I knew you had some cheese in you, too.” Jared slapped me on the back. “You big softie, you.”

I donned my toughest face. “Hey, there’s nothing about me that’s soft.”

“Is that so?” His eyebrows shot up as he glanced at my jeans.

Maddie laughed. “Tara is one lucky girl.”

I groaned. Of course they’d bring this back to her again. “Nothing’s going to happen with Tara. We’re just friends.”

“Hmm, where have I heard that before?” Kyle asked, looking pointedly at Maddie and Jared. They’d given us that line a dozen times before finally admitting that they were, in fact, much more than friends. But this thing with Tara was different.

“Nah. She’s not even here.”

“Oh, she’s here,” Kyle said, with a grin. “Alexis texted me a few minutes ago.”

“What? She is?” Hot damn, she’d come to see me perform after all. Maybe the sketchbook incident hadn’t freaked her out as much as I’d thought.

“Perfect,” Jared said. “Now, let’s get out there and put on the best show we can, and try to have some fun, too.”

We broke the huddle and headed toward the stage. Knowing Tara was in the audience gave me a burst of energy. I couldn’t wait to get out there and do this thing. With the others at my side I felt like we could take on the world together, one song at a time.

Shit, maybe I
was
just as cheesy as they were.

CHAPTER FIVE
TARA

A
s soon as I arrived at the stadium the clichés came back in force. My heart raced, my hands were clammy, and my inner goddess—whatever that was—awakened, all in anticipation of seeing Hector again. I’d become one of those girls I’d once mocked in books, who met the hot guy and instantly lost all common sense. Never again would I scoff at them.

I checked my face in my phone’s camera. Was I too done up? Did I look like I was trying too hard? He’d seen me in pajamas and no makeup many times before. He’d seen me when I was so busy with school and our books that I forgot to take showers for days. He’d even seen me when I’d had the flu. Maybe I should take off some of this makeup. The eye shadow at least. I wasn’t going on a date, after all, I was just watching my friend perform with his band. Not a big deal.

But it was too late, because I was already at the entrance to the stadium. Like everything at Comic-Con, there was a gigantic line to get in but I skipped past it using my backstage pass—thank you, Hector—and the security guard waved me inside. The crowd was massive, with high energy and excitement you couldn’t help but feel under your skin. People cheered, music blared from the stage, and the air smelled vaguely of beer and popcorn. Everyone was with a group of friends or part of a couple. And then there was me, all by myself.

I checked my ticket and headed for my seat while Brazen, the band that had gotten third place on
The Sound
, did a Maroon 5 cover on stage. I wanted to find Hector backstage, but Villain Complex would be on soon and I couldn’t miss their performance. My spot was crazy good too, right in the center of the front row. So close I could see up the Brazen’s singer’s skirt as she danced around.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. A text from Andy:
Want to have dinner?

The sight of his name made my stomach clench. I reread his text over and over, surprised he’d contact me this soon after our break-up. We’d agreed to try to stay friends, but I wasn’t sure either of us were ready for that yet.

I texted him:
Sorry, busy tonight.

He wrote back
: Tomorrow?

I hesitated with my fingers over the screen. Tomorrow Hector and I had a Black Hat Comics party, but after that he would probably be busy with his band. It might be uncomfortable to see Andy so soon, but it
would
be nice to not have to eat alone. Like me, he was by himself at Comic-Con and I could understand why he wanted to hang out. When you’re surrounded by so many people it’s even more noticeable how alone you are.

And the only reason he’d even come to Comic-Con was because of me. We’d bought the tickets months ago, and when we’d broken up it had been too late to refund them or cancel his flight. Instead, he’d found a cheap hotel room for himself since he couldn’t stay in mine anymore.

OK,
I replied.
Have party in evening but will text when over.

Perfect
, he wrote back.
See you then.

I hated admitting it, but I was sad that Andy and I had broken up
before
Comic-Con instead of after. He’d been my plus one for everything for the past year, and before that it had been Sam, and before that another guy…

The truth was, I wasn’t very good at being single. I liked having someone to go places with, who could make new experiences less awkward, who gave me a little confidence boost thanks to the knowledge I had someone familiar at my side. Andy had fit the bill perfectly.

I blamed growing up in a small town in Nebraska with five brothers and sisters. I’d never done
anything
alone as a kid, had never had a second of time to myself. I’d done whatever I could to get some space from my family, but now I lived a paradox: being surrounded by people drained me and yet I hated being by myself, too.

Maybe that’s why I spent so much of my free time talking to Hector online. He’d always made me feel less alone.

It was ridiculous. I was an adult, I should be able to do things by myself and not feel uncomfortable—but I did. Definitely something to work on in the future.

I’d have to get used to being alone soon, too. Other than Hector, all my friends were back in Boston. After graduating last month most of us were moving on, and I wasn’t sure how many I’d keep in touch with in the future. We’d all promised to continue to be friends, but would we be anything more than social media acquaintances in a few months?

Once I moved to New York I’d have to make new friends, I supposed. I’d dreamed of working in publishing my entire life, so when I’d been hired to be part of the new comics division of Ostrich Books, one of the biggest publishers in the world, it had sounded like the ideal job. Yet, despite how perfect it seemed, I was hit with a massive wave of anxiety every time I thought about it. Probably because I didn’t know anyone there or have a place to live yet.

Brazen finished and the audience cheered while the singer bounced off stage, holding the hand of her mentor from
The Sound
. As soon as they were gone, a girl with fiery red curls dropped into the seat beside me and smiled. “Tara, right?”

“Yeah…” I studied her face. She looked familiar, with very pale skin, a hint of freckles across her nose, and pretty green eyes. She wore a leather jacket and had a fancy camera around her neck. “You’re Alexis! Kyle’s girlfriend!”

She laughed. “That’s me.”

“I saw you in the audience at the panel. And Hector’s told me all about you.”

“Did he? Interesting. He’s been very secretive about you.”

“Oh…well, I guess there’s not that much to tell.” I tried not to sound disappointed, but it stung that he didn’t talk about me with his friends. Then again, why would he? I was just some girl he knew online, after all.

“That’s definitely not true,” Alexis said. “Hector’s extremely private, even with his closest friends. The fact that he hasn’t told us anything means you must be
very
important to him.”

“I don’t know about that…”

“I do.” She leaned close, like she was whispering a secret. “In fact, Kyle said Hector’s going crazy because he’s worried you wouldn’t come tonight.”

“He is?” Did he think I was upset about the drawing? Even if I was (which I wasn’t), how could he believe I wouldn’t come tonight? I wouldn’t miss this for anything. “Maybe I should text him…”

“They’re already on their way to the stage. But don’t worry, I told them you’re here.”

“Oh. Thanks.” I tried to relax in my seat but excitement bubbled under my skin, making me almost jumpy. “I can’t wait. I’ve never seen them play before. Except on TV, of course.”

She checked her camera lens and adjusted something. “They’re pretty impressive. Even before they were famous they were good, but being on the show made them even better. Maddie helped a lot, too. She brought the band together and made everything click.”