Moral Zero (17 page)

Anyway yeah, whenever I’m faced with a choice like that, where I have a clear desire for it to go one way and an ethical consideration for the other, I just
ask myself this. I ask myself Kidd Red, do you give one flyin fuck about humanity? And I say fuck no. And I say Kidd, is a more sexual world what you want or a more moral world? And I say the first man. The fuckin first. And I say Kidd, what exactly is the problem? And I say fuck off. And I relish that little act of sexual degradation like it was a goddamn cheeseburger.

He grinned and leaned back, pleased with himself as Mr White nodded silently, and the
n he lurched forward with uncommon urgency. That reminds me, I’m goddamn starving. Let’s get takeout, yeah?

Okay,
said Mr White.

Hel
l-fuckin-yes it is.

What will your daughter want?

Red waved his hand airily. She’s fine. She don’t eat much.

Uh, are you sure?

Yeah. She’s probably asleep anyway, don’t wanna wake her.

Okay.

–fuck, let me the fuck go, what are you doing, why are you doing this, please stop, please, I’ll do anything, let me go I won’t tell anyone, fuck, fuck, please, oh my god, I’m sorry if, please, I swear I won’t tell, I’ve never done anything, why are you doing this, who the fuck are you, what the fuck are you going to do, someone will hear me, you’re going to rot in prison, you’re going to
die, please, I swear, I swear.

They never came out with anything new.

Johnny opened his case and took out a tray of implements. Where the woman was tied she couldn’t see, but she heard the scrape of metal on metal and she screamed again and repeated her demands and offers and apologies and questions, even louder, screeching as though some kind of broken machinery.

He stood up and looked into her eyes, fearful and tearful and taken to
the very start of the extreme. You don’t need to worry about any of that now. He closed his eyes to a fresh wave of screams. They never did listen, but he supposed that was part of it. Soon the noises would change to a new level the woman may have hitherto thought impossible to make.

He moved close to the woman, and the tip of his knife touched her cream skin and lightly scratched and grazed it. She made an animal noise and sobbed afresh.

Sssh my queen, he spoke softly, gently. This is just the beginning.

Red came back in the room carrying an ancient television, the wires trailing behind him.

Where’d you get that from.

Around.

He lugged it in and dropped it on the end of the bed. Mr White jammed the plugs into the dusty sockets on the wall.
He switched it on and it crackled into life. Such an ancestral object did not look like it could have ever worked and yet it did.

It was like
a stone age tool to them, but after a stretch of fiddling Mr White managed to get the channels working. There were two and they were both movie channels. One of them was playing a porno, the other was playing a torture horror.

They watched the porno, laughing at the bad acting and dialogue.
After half an hour an oiled and half-naked male cyberdoll knocked on their room door with their pizza and fizzy drinks. He looked confused when Mr White answered the door, but gave them their goods and took their tip graciously with a muscular hand.

Mr White shut the door and Red lay on the bed laughing. He musta thought you were gay on the phone. That or a gal.

Mr White rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed with the food to watch the porno with Red.

There’s no TV, just films, remarked Mr White, swallowing a mouthful of
cheese. Strange, don’t you think?

Less effort on their part, said Red.

Not even the news?

‘S
pecially not the news. What the fuck they gonna report in a place like this? And why? It ain’t like anybody here cares.

What about crime?

What about it? There’s nothin
but
crime. Even a twenny-four-seven show couldn’t handle it. Let the cops worry about crime and ourselves worry about these pizzas.

Why do you not fuck anyone? Red asked, playing with a ball of string, wrapping it around his fingers until each one went white and then unwrapping them. The pizza boxes lay upside down on the floor, completely empty except for the grease. The last porno had ended without plot resolution and now another one was on and the people looked the same.

I
don’t know.

You don’t even try
man. You got a tiny cock?

Mr White bristled.
What is it with people always assuming that guys like me have to be poorly endowed? You can’t just reduce me to that, explaining everything in my mind and my sex life by pointing at my trousers.

Is that
a yes then? It’s okay if it is man.

I know it’s oka
y Red, Mr White sighed. I don’t think it matters that much. But it’s not a yes. I must be the only guy who’s actually more than happy with his size.

Now it was Red’
s turn to bristle defensively. Hey, I’m like a goddamn stallion down there!

Mr White looked him in the eyes and raised his br
ow. And are you happy with it?

Red slouched.
Well, I could always be a bigger stallion. He scratched himself, and then added, There’s no such thing as too big.

I think there is.
You could tear a woman in two.

Red grinned, helping himself to the last slice of pizza.
Almost worth it.

Almost.

Maybe more than almost.

What do you have to live for?

The woman didn’t say anything and so he repeated the question, sterner but not unkind.

Nothing. The woman looked to the wall through blurred eyes as if it might cave in from some rescuing force, as if it might disappear entirely and she find herself dreaming.

Nothing, he repeated softly. Nor do any of us. Nor do I. He paused and added, A
part from this. Making people see. 

Red had gone back to his room and returned a few minutes later, saying he’d given his daughter full use of his room, that she needed her space, that girls will be girls. He said she needed to recharge, and smirked. He had moved into Mr White’s room without argument. Mr White was just glad not to spend the rest of the night at the bar. They hadn’t seen Johnny since and Mr White wondered if he was walking the night alone on another sadistic duty.

And so the two of them holed up in a room together, as the late hour grew later still and the moon advanced its pale rays through the snags in the curtains. Red stole a spare mattress and blanket from somewhere else in the hotel and took one of Mr White’s pillows, and he set them up on the floor beside Mr White. That was enough for him.

The two of them lay on their respective beds and looked up at the ceiling.
Red was contemplative as he stared and he pursed his lips and opened his mouth a few times, trying to put words to his thoughts. Do you think . . . he began, and Mr White opened his eyes. Do you think there’s anythin wrong about what we’re doin here?

Non
e of it is anywhere near right. In fact, sometimes I think it’s worse than us doing it back home.

How’d you work that one out.

I don’t know . . . it’s a feeling I get. I mean, there’s so little consequence here. Back home there’s all this stuff stopping us, and we convince ourselves it’s our own conscience. We can pull these things off here too easily. It’s like . . . like stripping our consciences bare. Seeing who we are. And we’re not good people.

There’s cops here
.

And what good do they do? Even if they caught us, what then?
Do we really know? I mean for God’s sake, we treat it like a – a joke!

But
it ain’t the same as back home. You do still realise that don’t you man?

Mr White looked away.
I guess. But that doesn’t mean this is right. We’re causing too much harm being here.

Don’t talk shit.

I don’t mean harm to others. I mean harm to ourselves.

Red paused
for a while, and then snorted. PC garbage. The mind is a playground. I mean, people out there want to think we’re all ladies and gentleman in big fuckin hats and dresses drinkin afternoon tea outta dainty china cups and never saying boo to a goose. They don’t realise that humanity is a bunch of fuckin pigs. We’re still beasts, but we went a step further. Our imaginations evolved but our moral compasses didn’t. At least not inside us. Maybe on the outside we pretend we’re fuckin oo-de-lar to each other but inside are stinkin cesspools, foul sex and extreme bloody violence. This place is just an adventure theme park for the fucked up fucker in all of us. Right or wrong don’t exist here.

Then why ask?

Red sighed. Forget it. Just runnin through things in my head. Spoke without thinkin.

What kind of things?

Stuff. Nothin really. Girls.

Mr White fiddled with his hands and
turned and looked down at Red, who had his arms stiffly crossed and was looking fixedly up at the ceiling.

She’s not your daughter is she?
Mr White asked quietly.

Red’s head jolted up
to stare at Mr White. What?!

Mr White held up a hand a
nd smiled, a little nervously. It’s okay, you don’t need to act it up. I won’t tell Johnny.

Red settled down and turned
his gaze back to the ceiling. Fuck, if you know then he’ll know too. He just ain’t mentioned it, for some reason.

For what it’s worth,
this makes you a better person.

I do
n’t want to be a better person! Red snapped. God knows I’d rather be a devil than an angel.

But why?

That’s just the way it is.

I figured she wasn’t real.
I wanted to think she was, I made myself think she was. I don’t know. I didn’t let myself doubt it. I don’t know why. I just wanted to think there was something that was real and honest here for once. Horrible, but real.

She is real.
Well -

I mean that s
he’s not human. She’s an X-bot. A cyberdoll.

Yeah
. A good model. Custom programmin of course. I ordered her from District Two before I met you, and just had to wait for calibration and delivery. Course, she’s goin tomorrow. She’ll just walk outta here and go back to be recalibrated for some other fucker.

Did
the incest taboo not faze them?

Red rolled his eyes, although Mr
White couldn’t see him. Of course not. This is Rule. You should get yourself one.

I’m not into that.

No, I know what you’re into. You’re into what other people are into.

Mr
White bristled. Not precisely.

I
just meant you should get yourself a girlfriend man. I can tell you’re lonely.

Mr White was silent for a few moments. Then he took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly out. I am very lonely. But I
already have a real girlfriend.

Fuck off.

No, I do.

Where, back home?

Yes.

Well fuck me. Sorry, but I didn’t take you for it. Is that why you don’t fuck
nobody here?

Maybe. I don’t re
ally have sex back home either.

What, why not?

She has sex with others.

Oh . . .
Red thought for a bit. I see. I remember Johnny Black saying he thought you were a cuckold.

Mr White said nothing.

It’s good of you not to fuck anyone here.

Is it? You do it.

I – I’m not – Red started, awkwardly.

You have someone too, don’t you? Not
your “daughter”. A real person.

Red stared above him.
I guess so.

You guess so?

Yeah. I do.

Mr White whistled softly. He didn’t know why but he felt a bit more confident between the two of them, just him and Red lying on
their beds, talking about things more sensitive than just cocksure filth. He wished this bonding could happen more often. It was something that, if not completely new to him, at least felt new enough.

She must really be so
mething special to be with you. He smiled to himself.

Hey!
Red spoke sharply.

I meant it as a compliment.

I know what you meant it as, Red said, now sullen. He didn’t speak for a while, and just blinked slowly at the off-white plaster of the ceiling. The silence loomed through the room as each struggled with his own thoughts and tried to stop them coming to their mouths.