Moonlight Calls (Demon's Call Series Book 1) (22 page)

He opened one
bright green eye and glanced at me briefly before closing it again.  “No.”

Normally, I
would have annoyed him into discussion, but truth be told, I was a little
afraid of him now that I knew just how fucking old he was.  From what I
gathered, power increased with age.  Was Christian’s father the oldest wolf or
were there more like him?  I had so many questions, but I was afraid to know
the answers.  Sighing I stood to leave the room.  Christian’s hand shot out and
grabbed my wrist.

I glanced down
at him in surprise.  His deep, vibrant eyes were shadowed.  I made a face at
him and he seemed to relax a bit.  Giving my arm a firm tug, he pulled me down
on top of him.  He grasped my butt with his huge hands, fitting me comfortably
to his body.  I sighed and melted into him, laying my head on his chest.  His
deep bass rumbled pleasantly through me as he spoke.

“I didn’t want
to tell you because it would changes things.”  He sighed heavily, his breath
rippling the hair on the top of my head.  “I didn’t want you to be afraid of
me.  No matter how strong you are…people tend to be awed by my age- even the
wolves.  And not only does it ruin their perceptions, it reminds me constantly
of how different I am.”  He paused, and I lifted my head slightly to look into
his eyes.  He thought I was strong?

“I understand
most of it,” I said slowly.  “I admit I was scared for a few minutes, but
you’ve been you the entire time.  Finding out how old you are didn’t change who
you are.  You’re still just Christian to me.”

He shook his
head and closed his eyes.  “You are very rare.  You look at the world
differently than others do.  Truthfully though, my reasons for secrecy are more
selfish than that.”  He shrugged.  “You know I have been in relationships with
human women before.”

He opened his
eyes reluctantly checking to see how I was taking this, maybe expecting some
outrageous display of feminine emotion.  I looked at him innocently- what,
jealous? 
Moi?
  In all honesty, I had wondered about his past even
before I knew just how old he was, and I had concluded that he must have had
many lovers in his time, human and otherwise.  And I’d also come to the
conclusion that it didn’t really matter.

I shrugged and
put my head down on his chest again.  “I kind of already guessed that one,” I
said wryly.  He sat up and I slid over to sit next to him.  He sat staring down
at his hands for a moment.  Obviously, something was really bothering him and
he seemed to need to talk.

“Wolves aren’t
monogamous.  I am an alpha; therefore, I am expected to have a pack of my own. 
There are certain…expectations.”  His green eyes met mine, and he looked
resigned.  “For my kind, reproduction is difficult.  Creating a werewolf is
much harder than creating a vampire.  Humans who survive being turned into a
were are very rare.  Most die during the transition.”  He interlaced his big
hands and his knuckles gave a soft pop.  “Natural born weres, like myself are
also pretty rare.  So…there is a certain pressure…” 

 This was a bit
harder to digest.  I knew that he had had other lovers in the past, that was to
be expected, but he was telling me that he was expected to go around making
little wolf babies with his packmates, that having multiple partners at the
same time was the way he lived.  That he had other lovers
right now
.  A
freaking harem?  My weak human emotions were rising to the surface again, and I
found myself battling to maintain my nonchalant attitude.  He sighed, as if he
sensed my thoughts.

“I didn’t want
my own pack.  I fought against it for several hundred years,” he said,
matter-of-fact about the passage of time.  He quirked a dark eyebrow at me. 
“My father was a bit- put out.”  That certainly explained some of the hostility
I had felt between them.  “I didn’t want to be a ruler, to take people’s
freedom from them.  The rules that we live by are ruthless.  I hate deciding
the fate of everyone under my control.  Who am I to dominate the will of
others?  To make decisions that affect the entire pack…to say who lives and
dies?”  His voice was distant.  I swallowed convulsively.  To his pack, he was the
ultimate authority- protector, ruler, judge, jury, and executioner, if need be.

Taking a deep
breath, he continued.  “But I’ve come to accept that this is who I am.  It is
what I was born to.  I have lived a long time, Mya.  I have had more were
lovers than I can count.”  He shrugged.  “You likely cannot understand this,
but at times I feel…used.”  I grimaced.  I hadn’t thought of that, but when you
put it bluntly, he was nothing but a prized male.  A stud.”

Christian shook
his head.  “I have had lovers that I cared for deeply, some of them human.  I
have watched them all grow old and die, snatched away from me by the unending
procession of the years.”  His deep green eyes met mine, searching for
understanding.  “It doesn’t lessen how I feel for you- but the thought can
be…off putting… for a human.”  He lifted an arm toward me, then stopped. 

I scooted closer
and pulled his arm around my shoulder.  He held me tightly against his chest,
and I felt his heart beating slowly, the monotonous thudding like clockwork,
ticking away the seconds.  I lifted my head again to look at his beautiful
face, startled at the wealth of emotion shimmering in his dark green eyes.

“When I look at
you, I can pretend that we are the same, that there isn’t this huge rift
between us.  I can take joy in your innocent happiness.  I kept my age from you
because I didn’t want to see the shadow of it in your eyes.”  He moved
suddenly, scooping me up, so that we ended sitting with me cradled in his lap. 
He cupped my face in his large, warm hands and I fought to control the unshed
tears trembling in my eyes.  I was vacillating between love, and anger, and
pity.  I didn’t know what to feel.

“I care for you
deeply Mya, but you will leave me too.  Even if you pledge that you will be at
my side forever, even if you accept my…eccentricities…you will grow sick or
old, while I remain the same.”

He spoke with
such finality.  I realized suddenly that he was expecting me to end it.  He
thought that it would all be too much for me and I would tell him to walk out
of my life right now.  I was staggered by the sheer enormity of his
loneliness.  He was the kind of man who would never lack for company- especially
surrounded by his pack- but nonetheless, he was alone.

I raised my chin
defiantly and looked into his glowing green eyes, my own eyes burning.  “I
can’t give you any children,” I said bluntly.  “I know it can happen sometimes
between a were and a human, but it won’t.  I’m infertile.”

He just shook
his head.  “That was never my motive.  I am powerful enough in my own right.  I
do not need your power.”  He raised an eyebrow.  “I have women enough.  When I
take you in my arms, know that it is because I truly want you, not out of
obligation or duty.”

 He knew there
was nothing to gain from me.  In fact, it would eventually cost him a lot of
pain to love me, but he was still here.  And as for me?

  I had never
put my feelings for him into words.  Did I love him?  Of course.  Was it that
forever, life-long kind of love?  Given all the oddities of our relationship, I
had no idea.  But I thought it could be.  I leaned forward and kissed his full
lips.  I think he could sense the emotions swirling within me.  He went still
with surprise, then pressed me close in a fierce, crushing embrace.

I made a mock
gasping sound, and he released me.  I was both laughing and crying, big
alligator tears coursing down my cheeks, when Ailis came in.  She took one look
at us and hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting to come to us and not
wanting to intrude.  Christian smiled at her and I waved her into the room.  I
stood and stretched and she crossed the room to hug me lightly.  I had felt so
alone for so long.  Sure, I’d had friends and boyfriends, but it wasn’t like
this.  I suddenly had something close to a family.  People who wouldn’t vanish
from my life any time soon.

“I’m sorry to
break this up,” Ailis said softly.  “But we need to talk about what we are
going to do from here.  Henry and Argenou will only be more interested in you
now that you’ve proven you’re… special.”

Oh yeah, that. 
Dashing the last of the tears from my eyes, I sank to the floor and sat
cross-legged, looking up at them.  What with one thing and the other, I hadn’t
given much thought to what yesterday meant for me- too busy focusing on the
disaster at hand to worry about future disasters.

“So just what do
you guys have in mind?”  I wasn’t sure I really wanted to hear this.  Ailis
sighed tiredly before replying, “tutors,” as if that explained everything.  I
looked at her questioningly and she deigned to explain to me.

“In some ways,
you’re little outburst yesterday was a good thing.  It kept you alive, and
what’s more, we know now.  We’re sure there is something inside you that is
more powerful than you know.”  She worried her bottom lip, and glanced at
Christian and back.  “But now you’ve proven that you are someone worth
possessing.  Before, it was just curiosity.  Now they’ll want you even more.” 
She looked at me rather accusingly and I bristled.

“Hey.  It’s not
my fault!  I don’t even know how I did...what I did.”  It was still difficult
for me to think about what I had done without feeling ill.  God it had been
disgusting.  I rubbed my palms on my shorts compulsively, unconsciously trying
to rid myself of the feeling of my hands tearing through soft flesh.  I saw
Christian eyeing me suspiciously and through tremendous effort, managed to stop
the motion.  I had washed my hands about a million times since the incident,
but they still felt dirty- contaminated.

Ailis lifted one
shoulder with an indifferent shrug, continuing the conversation at hand.  “Well
that’s the point, isn’t it?  You do not know how to use your powers.  You can
use this opportunity to develop them, make use of their desire to see your
strength grow.  Whether or not you choose to join one side or the other- you
will be making yourself better able to deal with them when the time comes to
break free.  Let them train you.  In essence, they’ll be giving you the tools
you need to remain independent.”

I glanced
between Christian and Ailis suspiciously.  “What’s the catch?”  I wasn’t about
to believe that it would just be that easy.  Ailis sighed.  “They will try to
influence and control you.  You are going to need to play both sides of the
fence.  That balancing act is going to be tricky.  But Christian and I can
help.  We can pick your trainers, and if you feel threatened in any way we will
make you disappear.”

She looked at me
earnestly.  “God Mya, if you could see the power that was rolling off you
yesterday.  Think of what you might be able to do.  What you could become with
the right guidance.”

I noticed that
Christian had yet to say a word.  “What do you think about all of this?”  I
asked, fixing him with a stare.  He looked unhappy.

“I claimed you
in front of the Father Alpha.”  His eyes went distant and, giving me a dark
look, “He knows he cannot take what is mine.” 

I knew that this
was no show of bravado.  I fully believed that Christian could defend me.  All
the same, his air of absolute possession and domination was starting to worry
me.

“That’s fine as
far as the wolves are concerned,” Ailis said, ignoring his brooding, “but it
won’t protect you from the coven.  “This way both sides feel as though they
have some control.  And it will allow the wolves to think they have a chance at
you as well, which will keep the vampires on edge.  You need that bargaining
power.”

I shook my head
in disbelief.  I was beginning to feel like a secret agent, and I was in
way
over my head here.  I was already starting to get confused just trying to keep
track of everyone’s motives.

As far as plans
went, this was very loose and undefined.  Argenou and Henry had apparently
agreed to allow Ailis and Christian to be my keepers until the event that they
found a way to convince me to join the dark side- that this was news to me, was
a sore point.  I didn’t like that Christian and Ailis had
arranged
it
all while I slept.  In the meantime, I was going to use every chance I got to
learn from both sides and hopefully keep myself unattached and in control of my
own life.

I didn’t like
the idea of letting yet more supernaturals into my life, but it was safer than
my alternatives.  I could either give up right now, or attempt to learn about
my strange abilities.  I wanted to be mad at Ailis and Christian, but I
couldn’t really argue with the plan, as such, because they were risking
themselves by defying their leaders. 

The whole thing
made me feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside, but it seemed that I had
little choice in the matter.  I couldn’t fault Ailis and Christian for their
decisions, since I really didn’t have any better plan to offer up.  If I had
been left to my own devices I would have ended the whole dilemma by dying in a
puddle of my own blood back in the woods. 

Ailis told me
that she had asked a
friend
to meet with me tomorrow.  Christian was
planning to ask one of his pack to help with my training.  I was a welter of
nerves.  I didn’t know what to expect, but I was resolutely not going to think
about it.  I would see what happened when the time came.