Moon Island (30 page)

‘Two weeks in advance. Cash.’

‘I’ll have to drive back into town to the bank.’

‘Yup.’

But when he secured the door again behind the two of them he extracted the key from the lock and dropped it into Leonie’s hand. ‘You enjoy yourself here. I’ll call by later for the money, if that suits.’

Leonie smiled at him in the sunlight, wondering why she felt so cheerful when she had just turned her back on her whole life. ‘Thanks. I’ll be here.’

After Jim’s pick-up had bumped away she took her seat again on the step. Back into her mind’s eye came the picture of Marian’s crab and conch shells spinning in crooked arcs over the porch rail. Anger had disabled her to the point where she couldn’t even throw straight. Leonie dropped her head into her hands and laughed out loud at the memory.

There was no one on the beach. At the public end were the usual families and groups of kids, but in front of the five houses the glitter of sand and shingle was unbroken.

May paced her way slowly along the tideline. Fragments of twine and polystyrene granules and crustacea shells were caught up with the bladder wrack. The harsh sun burned on her head and drew an unhealthy stink of decaying fish out of the debris at her feet.

The Beams’ porch was empty, not even Sidonie or Ashton was about. Their bright-coloured toys lay scattered around. May looked sidelong, in fear of seeing Lucas, but also willing him to be there.

The breeze had died away and the air was motionless. She shaded her eyes and looked in the opposite direction, out to the island. Its ridge of black trees looked like the spines of some fantastic creature. She thought the whole island might shudder and heave, then dive slowly beneath the water.

A year ago, Doone was already dead.

When she turned to the beach again she saw that Ivy had suddenly appeared. She picked her way over the stones at the base of the beach wall, gold-skinned against the faded green wood of the breakwater. When she reached a patch of sand she spread out her beach towel. Even at this distance May could see the minute crescents of pallor exposed beneath her buttocks as she bent over. Ivy arranged herself on the towel and bent her neat head over a book.

May went on walking aimlessly but all the time her path tended itself towards Ivy. At length she came obliquely to a point within talking distance.

Ivy glared at her. ‘Don’t hang around me. Come over and sit down if that’s what you want.’

May sat down a yard away, looking straight out to sea. Ivy was always so dismissive. May wanted her sister’s attention and she wanted to challenge her too. ‘Where’s Lucas?’

‘How should I know?’

‘Where did you go last night?’

‘Oh, just to the Star Bar with Sam and some of the others. It was okay. Not that thrilling.’

‘Yeah? I went for a long walk with Lucas.’ She had Ivy’s full attention now. She could feel her eyes drilling into the side of her head.

‘So what happened?’

May shrugged hotly. She wanted to lay out the details, to have the scald taken out of them by shared exchange and to be reassured she wasn’t a freak, that it was how it sometimes happened with the right person but so disturbingly in the wrong place at the wrong time. But neither could she resist the chance to taunt Ivy just for once. ‘Oh, uh, you know. He was really nice.’ She sensed but couldn’t see the glare of jealous disbelief and enjoyed it like a sip of iced water cooling her parched throat.

Then Ivy gave her low, disbelieving laugh. ‘Was he? With you and your braces? Well, there’s no accounting for taste.’

May bowed her head. The taunt made her mouth fill with metallic saliva and puffed the flesh of her thighs and belly into hateful cushions within her tight clothes. That was how they did it, of course, Ivy and the handful of thin girls like her whom every boy in every school wanted to date. They promoted themselves with an effortless armoury of ridicule and superiority. Under the claustrophobic skin of the day a flood of hatred pulsed through May and directed itself at Ivy. ‘Why are you such a bitch?’

‘Why are you such a baby?’ Her voice was cool and bored as she turned back to her book.

Effortfully May stood up. The memories of the night before were too vivid and unresolved in her mind. They became a series of jerky tableaux, grotesquely overlit figures superimposed on blackness. How hot the sun felt on her head.

Inside the Captain’s House it was at least cool. With the clockwork force of habit May opened the refrigerator and quickly closed it again. The sight of margarine tubs and dribbled mayonnaise bottles was disgusting.

Upstairs, her bedroom held the sound of the sea within it like a conch shell.

The diary lay in its place next to Hannah’s books. May dusted the tips of her fingers over the black cover.

*

Marian sat in unaccustomed stillness. Making considerate detours around her, Shelly and Karyn prepared lunch once the babies had been put down to nap. The younger generation from Lucas downwards, for once aware of concerns beyond their own immediate circle, had taken themselves off for the day to another beach. The telephone rang once and Marian made a heavy movement towards it, but Tom was too quick for her. It was only a girl calling for Joel.

The adults sat down to eat at the kitchen table. It was most unusual for the food not to be laid out on the shady porch overlooking the sea. A fly buzzed drearily against the screened window, and knives and forks clinked in the silence.

‘Will she have gone back to Boston, do you think?’ Karyn asked.

There was a whitish, pinched area of skin around Tom’s mouth. ‘I’ve no idea where she’s gone.’

‘You must go after her,’ Marian said.

‘I think she’ll come back when she’s ready.’

‘You must go and bring her back.’

Tom put down his knife and fork, neatly positioning them. ‘Leonie is an adult. And so am I. We can make our own decisions.’

There had been so many meals, so many variations on this same rigid theme of family gatherings and advice dispensed. Each of them was used to it, familiar with his or her place in the scheme.

Marian’s lips drew together. ‘I’m not convinced of that, on the evidence.’

Karyn reached out a restraining hand but her mother shook it off.

‘Do you love her? Do you still love each other? Because if you do you’d be a fool not to go after her right now.
This
is what matters.’ She made a gesture that took in the circumference of the table and the ring of faces.

‘No.’ The crash of Tom’s chair shook them all. He was on his feet, pushing himself away from the litter of plates and broken bread. ‘No,’ he repeated. He turned from the table and left them staring after him.

Marian’s face collapsed inwards, a network of lines meshing her mouth and eyes. She covered the lower half of it with her hand. ‘What does he know about anything?’ she whispered.

Elizabeth sat in her evening room, where the tendrils of a creeper made a minute scraping against the window glass. The irregular sound competed with the metronome ticking of the clock. Spencer had brought her the news that Aaron had been taken to the hospital. She had telephoned once and had been told that Mr Fennymore was stable. Beyond that there was nothing to do but wait.

When she came back from Europe, with her trunks of new clothes and her albums of photographs of Paris and England, and her taste for French cigarettes, it was Aaron who had been waiting.

The Captain’s House was now owned by some people from Bangor, Elizabeth’s mother had told her that in one of the regular letters from home, so there could be no more meeting in the empty dust-barred rooms where feathers waltzed in the breeze of their passing. Instead there had been a chance encounter on Main Street on an afternoon when summer had faded into the smoky chill of late September. Elizabeth had already been back in Boston for almost a month; there had been some parties she had wanted to go to, so she had not made the journey up to Pittsharbor right away. At one of the parties, the engagement celebration of a girl she had been at school with, she had been introduced to a lawyer called Andrew Newton. He was almost thirty, more than ten years older than Elizabeth herself. But she had liked his dry sense of humour and his slightly formal manners because they reminded her of some of the Englishmen she had met on her travels.

‘Newton? Newton?’ Grandfather Freshett had mused. ‘Randwyck Newton’s boy?’

‘I think he must be,’ Elizabeth’s mother responded. ‘Randwyck married Dorothy Irvine, didn’t he?’

‘That’s right.’

Elizabeth would once have felt impatient with this exchange, but now she found that she listened with a flicker of interest and even understanding.

In Pittsharbor, when she did come back to it at last, nothing seemed to have changed. Except, she thought, that the houses looked smaller and Main Street was narrower and more old-fashioned than she remembered. In Purrit’s Dry Goods the very same sacks and cans were arranged behind the salty window glass. And for a night and a day after her arrival she had looked out for Aaron Fennymore with almost the same breathlessness as when she was a girl, eager to slip away with him to the Captain’s House. She had watched the tides and the movements of the fishing fleet, and had wondered when she would hear the signal of his low whistle.

They had written no letters to one another in all the months of her absence. At the beginning of their separation Elizabeth had believed that their love was enough to bind them together without needing translation into the pale medium of words and she also feared that in any case her lover would be no letter-writer. Then, as the months passed, she had been reluctantly and gradually more eagerly taken up in the new world of Europe. Pittsharbor and Aaron had settled deep inside her, precious but untouched. Now that she was back, with the murmur of the sea in her ears and the tiny prickling of salt crystals on the skin of her arms, she was filled equally with longing for Aaron and with apprehension.

When she first caught sight of him, swinging down Main Street with a sacking bag slung over his shoulder, her immediate and terrible instinct had been to duck away and hide from him. There was an arrogance in his bearing and a rough look about him that made a poor contrast with European poise, even with Andrew Newton back in Boston. As soon as she recognised her betrayal her face crimsoned with shame and she was rooted in place like a tongue-tied schoolgirl.

Aaron had seen her. He didn’t change his pace, but came straight towards her. He stood foursquare on the sidewalk, blocking her path, and dropped the sack on the ground between them. It smelt powerfully of fish. ‘So you’re here, then?’

‘Just. Yesterday.’

‘I hear you were back in Boston a month ago.’

He had changed. There was a directness in him now that seemed almost brutal and the way he stared into her face was momentarily frightening.

‘I …’ She wouldn’t let him accuse her. ‘I had some things I wanted to do.’

‘
Things
?’ There was a sneer in his voice that was new, too.

‘That’s right,’ Elizabeth said coolly. She was regaining her self-possession now, but the look of him and the sound of his voice still made her want to step into his arms and never move out of his reach again.

‘You promised to marry me,’ Aaron said. ‘And you are old enough to know your own mind now. I’ve been waiting all this time for you.’ He put his hand out as he spoke and took hold of her upper arm.

Elizabeth was wearing a lawn blouse with hand-sewn tucks and her good wool coat because the afternoon wind was cool. She faced up to him, aware of the looks of the passers-by and shopkeepers. She thought he was rude. ‘Take your hand off me,’ she said in a low voice.

His arm dropped at once. ‘I’m sorry.’ He made no effort to speak quietly. He didn’t seem to care who heard or saw them, and Elizabeth felt herself turning hot with shame. It was only later, much too late, that she realised it was passion that made his face burn and anger that made him sound rough. She wasn’t used to naked feelings, only to dances and mild flirtations in taxis and Andrew Newton’s courtly manners.

Aaron bent down and shouldered his bag again. ‘Well, then,’ he said. ‘I’m glad you’re back safely. But it doesn’t seem that all your wandering has taught you any sense.’ He left her standing on the sidewalk.

‘Aaron …’ she called, just once. He never turned back, and she was too conscious of what her mother’s neighbours might think or say to do what she wanted and run after him.

After that, they saw each other in Pittsharbor often enough. They met, even, once or twice in private, and tried to repair the damage. They kissed once, awkwardly, as if they were tasting a dish they had once overindulged in. But Elizabeth couldn’t forget that she had wanted to run and hide, and Aaron had seen that urge so clearly in her face.

In the years afterwards they both thought separately that they might have tried harder and understood each other again. But circumstances were against them; the Freshetts were pleased with the idea of a match between Elizabeth and Andrew Newton, and Hannah had presented herself to Aaron.

On the night before her engagement party Elizabeth and Aaron met again, on the beach looking out to the island. It was February and the bay was a ring of ice, so they had to walk briskly over the crackling shingle.

Elizabeth held her furs tight against her throat, but Aaron pulled them aside and put his mouth to the warmth of her skin. ‘It isn’t too late,’ he whispered.

Elizabeth thought of her diamond ring and the announcements in the Boston newspapers, and the house on Beacon Hill, which had already been bought. She knew she was a coward and despised herself for her weakness as she answered, ‘It is. It was too late when I left for England.’

Three months later she became Mrs Andrew Newton, and within a year Aaron married Hannah and began his buying up of the land on the bluff.

What a waste, Elizabeth thought in the quiet of her evening room. What a long and colourless waste of a life.

Aaron lay on his back with his arms at his side. Beside the head of the bed was an oxygen cylinder on wheels with a mask attached to the hose.