Montana Rescue (The Wildes of Birch Bay Book 2) (28 page)

She closed her eyes as the booms echoed in the background, and she thought about all the things that her life was supposed to have been. And then she thought about Nick. She missed him so much. It had been over two weeks, and she wanted to see him now as badly as she’d wanted to go after him the night he’d walked away.

“I didn’t want to help anyone for a while,” she whispered, “because there was no way anyone could help me. But I do now. My anger is fading. I may not be able to save you or our baby, but I can help others. So I
will
do that. I make that promise to you now. I’ll never stop being what we were again.”

More booms sounded, and she opened her eyes. She could practically see Thomas smiling back at her, and she nodded. “I wish I had you back in my life, but I’m ready to let go.”

Orange and green rained down on the lake, and tears began to fall over Harper’s cheeks.

“I love him, Thomas. I’m not sure how or why or when. And I know it hasn’t even been two years without you yet, but I love him. And I think he could learn to love me. If I haven’t already run him off.”

She wiped at her cheeks, but more tears immediately replaced the ones now on her fingers.

“I don’t want to be sad the rest of my life.” Her voice shook. “And I know you don’t want that for me. So will you make me one last promise? Will you and our baby watch over me as I try to move forward? Maybe send me the strength to attempt this thing with Nick? Because I need him, Thomas. I never imagined I’d get a second chance, but he’s as good as you. I promise. And I know you would have loved him, too.”

A burst of fireworks so loud and so big stopped Harper’s words, and she watched silently until every last color faded away. Then she stood and got busy sorting through Thomas’s things. It was time to do something other than sit still.

Chapter Twenty-Four

N
ick perched on the bottom rung of the gate, adrenaline zapping through his body, as he waited for his turn. He was back in Birch Bay for a one-night event, and the ride he was about to take would be it for him. He was hanging up his rope.

He’d had a good run, earned plenty of money, and had only broken a handful of bones. It had been a fantastic career. And though he’d gotten into it for all the wrong reasons, he didn’t regret his decision one bit. Bull riding was a part of him now. But he was ready to move on. There was more waiting out there for him.

He caught sight of Jewel and Bobby watching from the corner, and he mentally patted himself on the back for not looking around for Harper. Seemed she was in his past, too. Though he had considered texting to let her know he’d be making his final ride here tonight. They might not be a couple, but they had been friends. He would’ve liked to have seen her here for him.

The speaker in the middle of the arena fired to life. “Next up is a local boy, folks, and with this ride comes a huge announcement. Two-time Montana Pro champ Nick Wilde is taking his final ride tonight.”

The crowd gasped with shock, followed by groans and the beginning of clapping.

“He wanted to take that ride here with us, so let’s get behind him and make this one count.”

The speakers went quiet, and Nick rose up to the next rung. He waved his hat at the cheering crowd, taking in the moment. He did love this attention. And he’d miss it. But he also knew he’d made the right decision. There were bigger things waiting for him, and this time he planned to live his life for himself, not for anyone else.

The crowd died down as he and his spotter got into position, and then Nick slung his leg over the gate. His focus was strong tonight. Legs set, rope tight, back straight. He said his prayer and gave the nod.

The gate flew open, and he and bull went out as one. The bull gave it everything he had, but there was no way Nick wasn’t staying on for this ride. The buzzer sounded, and a grin arrived before he’d even hit the ground. That had to be darned close to the best ride he’d ever taken.

As a score of ninety flashed, contentment settled over him. Life was finally heading in the right direction. The fans showed their gratitude with a minute-long standing ovation. Cameras flashed, and he even caught a couple of faces wet with tears. His friends and family glowed with pride. This was the way to go out.

Forcing himself to turn away from it all, he gave one last wave and exited through the gate. Jeb’s was the first face he saw.

“Hell of a way to end it,” the younger man said. “Congrats, man. Terrific ride. And thanks for putting in that word with your agent.”

Nick shook Jeb’s hand. “Charlie’s a good guy. I hope you two can work something out.”

“I think we can.”

“Make him a rich man, will you? I went back on my promise for that.”

They parted, and as the next rider climbed into the chute, Nick moved away from the gates. Normally he’d stick around and watch everyone else, but he had no interest in that tonight. He didn’t even care to stick around to take the prize. He was mentally and physically done, and the adrenaline in his system now pumped for a different reason. He had a new life to figure out. Maybe that wouldn’t include the woman he wanted, but he’d still make it a life worth having. And he could thank her for giving him that much, anyway. He no longer had any intention of just going through the motions. He intended to live.

As he came out of the rider area, eleven wide smiles greeted him. His entire family had come home for this. Not only had they had their first official Wilde family dinner the night before, but they were all here supporting him tonight. Even Jaden’s girlfriend, Megan, had shown up.

Jenna and Haley each sat on their dad’s shoulders, and both were shaking pink pom-poms over their heads. “You did so good, Uncle Nick,” Jenna squealed. “I loved watching you ride.”

“You were the best!” Haley added.

Everyone else began talking at the same time, too, and Nick reveled in the moment. After years of running away, it was good to be home. Good to know this
was
his home.

As he talked to his sister, getting the scoop on her business and the receptionist she’d recently hired, Haley began tapping him on the top of the head. He looked up, and fell in love with the little girl even more when she grinned, and her blue-stained teeth flashed at him. The remains of her cotton candy were in her dad’s hand.

“What can I do for you, Haley?”

She pointed behind him. “The woman with the blue hair is looking at you.”

Her words caused his heart to clench. Harper was here? He glanced at Nate, who was now looking behind Nick, as well, and Nate shot him an I-told-you-so look. Maybe it wasn’t over with Harper just yet. But Nick wasn’t about to get his hopes up.

He turned, and sure enough, Harper stood watching him. And good Lord, did she look good.

“Did you still like her, Uncle Nick?” Haley chirped from atop her Daddy’s shoulders.

Nick didn’t answer, waiting instead for Ben to instruct his daughter not to ask such personal questions, but Ben didn’t utter a sound. Nick glanced at him to find that not only had Ben remained silent, but he also seemed to be awaiting an answer. As was everyone else.

But an answer wouldn’t be coming. Not in this crowd.

“I wanna be a ’copper pilot when I grow up,” Haley announced.

“Me, too,” Jenna added. “Dad says Miss Harper flies all over the place, and she could even fly to Disneyland if she wanted to.”

“That’s where I’ll fly my ’copper.” The girls’ chatter continued in the background as Harper slowly edged his way. She got stopped a couple of times, either by someone blocking her path, or another who wanted to talk to her. And as she moved, Nick stayed where he was. He really didn’t want to hope that she was there for any reason other than to congratulate him on his retirement, but his wants and his reality had mixed in a heated battle.

“I’m going to have blue hair, too,” Haley said, the words filtering though Nick’s head. “And I might make my lips blue. I get to wear makeup when I get older.”

“I’m going to have pink hair and lips.”

Nick couldn’t help but chuckle at the girls. He wanted that in his life.

And he wanted it with the woman now only ten feet away from him.

“Come on, girls.” That came from Gabe. “Let’s go find ice cream.”

“I think we all could use some ice cream,” Gloria interjected. “Pops is buying.”

The crowd of them headed off, taking all the noise and madness with them, and all that was left was Nick looking at Harper. She made it to his side, her thoughts unreadable, but her hesitant smile good to see.

“Hi, Nick.” She chewed on the corner of her lip. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure.”

They moved beyond the building that housed the concession stands, but there were still people around. A couple of guys walked alongside their horses, and the flag girl who’d kicked off the evening stood to the side of the walkway, allowing kids to greet both her and her horse. She wore sparkles from head to toe and couldn’t be much older than sixteen.

Not wanting to risk interruption or being overheard, Nick kept going. They got beyond the perimeter of the buildings, and they were suddenly alone. He forced his legs to quit moving, and, turning, he tucked his hands into his pockets. Then he waited.

Harper licked her lips. “So you’re quitting?”

He gave a small nod. “As of tonight.”

“For good?”

Surely this wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. He tried not to let his disappointment show. “It was never what I wanted long term. You know that.”

“I know. And I’m glad you figured out what you want.” Her words seemed to dry up. Nick could see her thinking, but having no idea what else she had to say, he couldn’t begin to help her out.

So he stood there, and he refused to let his joy at seeing her show on his face.

Finally, she drew in a deep breath and lay both hands flat on her stomach. “I didn’t tell you my entire story before,” she said. “In fact, there was a small white lie in what I did share. I
was
pregnant when Thomas died.”

Nick’s gaze dropped to her stomach, and his heart stopped.

“That’s what made me panic the day we jumped. I hadn’t taken a pregnancy test so I didn’t know for sure. And I was just one day late. But deep down . . .” She nodded, and he swore tears began to pool in her eyes. “I knew,” she whispered. “And all I could think when my chute didn’t open was that I was going to kill my baby. That I would die without ever telling my husband that we’d made a child together.”

She took another breath, seeming to gather herself. “We both survived the crash—the baby and I—but I miscarried five weeks later. I’d finally accepted that I was pregnant, and I wanted the baby. Desperately. It was suddenly all I could focus on. But then . . .” She paused long enough to touch her nose and mouth with her fingers. “Then I lost it,
too
,” she finished on a shaky whisper.

“Harper,” he said. But he had no idea what else to add. He had no idea why she was here, why she was pouring her heart out like this. But he ached for her because of it. He wanted to take her in his arms, yet she’d pulled her own up and around herself.

“It wasn’t fair,” she continued, and all he could do was stand there and listen. “And I hated the entire world for it.”

“Of course you did. Anyone would.”

The words didn’t slow. “So not only have I been carrying around guilt for Thomas’s death for over a year, but guilt for our baby’s death as well. I was all my baby had to rely on. And I failed.”

“Harper—”

“I know.” She held up a hand to stop him. “These things happen,” she said by rote. “It was likely not viable. Yes. Logic. I get that. I even got it at the time to some extent. But the heart doesn’t have to make sense, right?”

His heart broke for her. “I’m so very sorry you had to go through that.”

“It ripped me in two, Nick.” Her eyes never looked away from his. “Both husband
and
child? I didn’t ever want to be fixed. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to die.” Her voice broke on the last sentence, and he reached out a hand, but she shuffled a tiny step away. “But then you came into my life,” she whispered. “And against my will, you began to fix me. And for that, I’ll never be able to thank you enough. For waking me up to living again.”

He swallowed. Her pain echoed deep inside him. “I didn’t do enough. I wish I’d known. I wish I’d . . .” He trailed off. He didn’t know what he would have done, but it destroyed him to know that she’d experienced more hurts within the span of five weeks than anyone should ever have to suffer.

“You said that night that I was special to you,” she told him. “But, Nick, you’re the special one. Your mother might never have been able to see it—and that’s her loss. None of that was on you. But I’d be willing to bet that everyone else in your life is aware of it. You make a difference to the people you meet. So I wanted to come tonight because of that. To thank you for being in my life.”

She suddenly seemed to run out of words, and they were both left standing there, staring at each other, and one question rang loud in Nick’s head. Was that the only reason she’d come? Had she just needed to speak the words to someone?

He wasn’t sure what to do or say next, but a ticking clock seemed to start inside him.

She gave one last broken smile and took another tiny step away. “That’s really all I needed to say,” she finished. “So I guess I should go now.”

When she turned to leave, it was do or die. And if he didn’t get this woman back in his life, he thought he might die.

“I love you.”

Harper froze at the words. Had she heard Nick right?

Her heart was pounding so hard, she could have imagined the words. Wanted them too badly. He might not have said anything at all. She’d only taken a couple of steps, so she slowly turned back. He stared at her with purpose, making her believe that he’d actually spoken.

“What did you say?” she whispered.

“I should have made that clear that night, but I was shocked to discover it myself. I don’t just see us going somewhere, Harper. I see us going all the way.” He kept his hands in his pockets. “But my feelings aside, your future is up to you. You do what you need to. For
you
.”