Monster (Impossible #1) (13 page)

“Please,” I groaned.  “Sean, please.”  I pressed my hips up into him, grinding against him.

In a move faster than I could comprehend, his mouth left me.  There was a loud
crack
as his hand came down on my soft flesh.
 
A burning, stinging sensation bloomed on my breast.  I gasped in shock at the pain.

“I told you to stay still.” 

I stared up at him, wide-eyed.  His expression was hard, forbidding.  I trembled beneath him, torn between fear and intense arousal at his treatment of my body.

“I…  I’m sorry,” I forced out through heaving breaths.

His expression twisted upward into a satisfied smile, one with a slight edge of cruelty to it.  He reached out for me, and I braced myself for further retribution.  But he cupped my face in his large, calloused hand, tracing his thumb lightly across my lips.  My tongue darted out, licking at him tentatively.  He applied pressure, easing his thumb into my mouth.  I swirled my tongue around it, sucking gently.

His green eyes filled with unmistakable lust. 
And a hint of wonder.  “Fuck, Claudia,” he breathed.  His cock twitched against me as he hardened impossibly further.  He pulled his thumb from my mouth and leaned into me.  My lips parted for him, ready to accept his kiss.

But he stopped suddenly, his eyes clouding over.  His brows drew together, and his lips tightened to a thin line.  Abruptly, he rolled off of me, quickly putting as much distance between us as possible.

I propped myself up on my elbows, hurt and confusion flooding my chest.  “Sean?”  I asked softly.  “What’s wrong?”

He rounded on me angrily, his eyes burning.  “
What’s wrong?
”  He asked, half-shouting.  “Everything about this is wrong, Claudia!”  He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.  “You were right: I’m really fucked up. 
This
is really fucked up.”

“But I-
”  I began, but he cut across me.

“I’m taking advantage of you, Claudia.  And you’re letting me.”  He was furious, and I couldn’t tell if his ire was directed at me or at himself.

All of the lust I had felt went flooding out of me.  My cheeks flamed as I drew my ripped shirt together, covering myself.

“And you’re letting me.”

God, I was acting like such a slut.  Was I really so desperate for my freedom that I was willing to whore myself out to win Sean’s trust?

No,
a small voice insisted. 
It’s more than that.

Wasn’t it?

But Sean was right: no matter how I tried to rationalize it, this was totally fucked up.

I blinked hard against the stinging at the corners of my eyes.  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Sean’s fists clenched.  “You’re sorry,” he said, his voice hollow.  He wasn’t looking at me any longer.  “Maybe it’s better if you aren’t in here with me.”

No. 
Would he really leave me at Bradley’s mercy?

“Please,” I begged.  “Don’t.”

He pushed himself up off the bed, moving carefully.  “Don’t worry,” he said, but his voice was cold and detached rather than comforting.  “I’m going to stay on the couch.”

I didn’t dare speak lest he change his mind.  So I watched in silence as he left the room, locking the door behind him.

I suddenly felt cold, utterly alone.  I hugged my knees to my chest as I fought to swallow back the hard lump in my throat.  I refused to cry over Sean.

Chapter 8

The next day, I was thoroughly bored.  I was too wound up to focus on my book, too distracted by memories of my erotic encounters with Sean.  Never before in my life had I experienced anything like it.  Well, it wasn’t exactly like I had had a plethora of sexual partners, but I was fairly certain that this kind of sexual chemistry wasn’t easy to come by.

I knew that I should feel guilty, even disgusted, but what I had let him do to me.  But when I searched my soul, all I found was a sense of feminine satisfaction.  And disappointment that he had pulled away from me, leaving me wanting.  Not to mention hurt.  He had seemed so angry with me, as though it was all my fault that he had ended up atop me, fucking my mouth with his tongue.

Despite my resentment, I shivered at the memory.

But what occupied my thoughts most was my visceral reaction to the way he had dominated me, my answering pleasure when he had bitten my nipple and slapped my breast.  I wasn’t completely ignorant of varying proclivities; I knew that some people achieved sexual gratification from being beaten.  Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that I would be one of them.

The rational, analytical part of my brain told me that I probably liked it because it finally gave me some sense of release from my usually guarded, carefully-controlled manner.  And if I was honest with myself, th
e constant effort of keeping my walls up weighed on me more heavily than I had ever realized.

I wanted more, more of the dark submission that Sean brought out in me.  Even though the thought of being so vulnerable with anyone still terrified me, I had come to the realization that my captivity had forced me to renew human contact for the first time in years.  I knew that I wasn’t ready to share my past, my pain, with Sean, but surely I could keep my secrets while only opening up to him sexually?

I wondered idly if I truly was falling prey to Stockholm Syndrome.  While it was a distinct possibility, a deeper part of me knew that the connection I shared with Sean was more than that.  I hoped.

By midday, I found myself pacing around the room, trying to release some of my pent-up energy.  I hadn’t been this inactive in all my
life, and it was starting to grate on me.  And, looking around the small room, I realized that it was sadly lacking in potential activities.  Sure, there were plenty of books to keep me company, but I was too distracted to read.

Then my eyes fell on the chest of drawers, the only other piece of furniture in the room. My gaze was drawn to the bottom drawer, the one that Sean kept locked.

I wonder what he’s hiding in there…

My curiosity piqued, I knelt down and tugged at the brass handle.  The drawer didn’t budge.  Yep. 
Definitely locked.

I debated for a moment.  It really wasn’t right to invade his privacy in this way…

Boredom and burning curiosity won out over respecting Sean’s secrets.  He had already pried a few of my secrets out of me; it was only fair that he do some sharing of his own.  Even if he didn’t realize that he was doing so.

Pulling two pins from my hair, I made quick work of the simple lock, smirking to myself as it clicked open.  I hesitated a moment longer before opening the drawer, wavering in my decision.

What the hell,
I decided.

With a decisive tug, the drawer slid open.  My jaw dropped as my mind struggled to process what was inside.  I had never seen anything like this in my life.

The drawer was full to the brim with sex toys.  And not just any sex toys: decidedly kinky implements for causing pleasure or pain.  As I stared, wide-eyed, something disconcerting stirred in my belly.  Okay, I had enjoyed Sean pushing me around, even him slapping my breast.  But this was on a whole different level.  There was an array of vibrators and butt plugs, and several clearly electronic devices that I couldn’t put a name to or even begin to come up with a use for.  A length of rope was coiled meticulously in one corner.  I reached out and ran my fingers over it, surprised to feel my sex stir to life at the roughness of it against my skin.  How would it feel against the delicate skin on the inside of my wrists, the contours of it pressing into my flesh as it went taut around them…?

I shook myself, blinking away the torrid fantasy that had begun to form in my mind.  My fingers explored further, tracing the outline of a fur-lined paddle before touching the coiled line of a black leather bullwhip.  My eyes were drawn to something long and thin tucked in at the back of the drawer.  I reached for it, pulling it out so that I could inspect it more closely.

A soft, leather-coated handle tapered to a thin line.  I brushed my fingertips over the material, marveling at how it was braided, creating a delicate, crisscrossing pattern up the length of the crop.  The square of leather at the tip was supple and buttery-soft.  Curious, I tapped it across my palm a few times.

“Claudia, did you want-”

I jumped at the sound of Sean’s voice, dread forming in the pit of my stomach as my head whipped around to face him.  I had been so entranced that I hadn’t heard him approaching.  Something quaked inside of me as I took in his livid expression.

“Sean,” I gasped his name stupidly, dropping the crop as though it had burned me.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”  He closed the distance between us in three long strides. 

I never had a hope of escaping him.  His hand
shot out, grabbing my wrist as he yanked me to my feet.  He gripped my upper arms hard, shaking me slightly.

“That’s private,” his voice was a growl.  “How did you open that drawer, Claudia?”  He demanded harshly, the threat in his eyes daring me to lie.

“I…”  I hesitated, disoriented by the sudden turn of events.

He shook me again, his fingers digging into me with almost bruising force. 
“How?!”

“My hairpins,” I admitted quickly.  “I picked the lock.”

Impossibly, the fury in his eyes blazed hotter.  “You lied to me,” he accused.  “That’s how you escaped.  Isn’t it?”

“Y-yes,” I gasped, more frightened of him than I had ever been.  “Sean, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean-”

He barked a cold, humorless laugh.  “You what?  You didn’t mean to pick the lock?  You did it by accident?”

“Look,” I said breathlessly.  “I don’t mind.  It’s okay.”  I wanted to let him know that I wasn’t judging him for what I had found.  In fact, it was just the opposite: I was perversely intrigued.

“It’s
okay?
”  He said angrily.  He shoved me suddenly, and I fell back onto the bed.  I was disoriented for a moment, and he took advantage.  His hands were on my hips, lifting me up.  Within moments, I found myself staring down at the floor, draped face-down over his lap.

“Is this
okay?
”  He asked, his voice gruff.  But there was more than just anger in it this time.  There was definitely a low, lustful tone to it.  His fingers tangled in my brunette waves, tugging my head back sharply so that my back arched, forcing my ass up.  I gasped as my scalp tingled where he pulled my hair, the little pinging sparks shooting down my spine to my sex.  His hand gripped my flagrantly positioned bottom, squeezing my cheeks hard.  “Is this what you want, Claudia?”  He asked softly, a dangerous edge to his voice.  “To be punished?”

Punished? 
Did I want that?   What would he do to me?  Would he truly hurt me?

I was quivering in his grip, practically panting.  My pussy was on fire for him, and there was a growing wetness between my thighs.  My mind might be confused about what I wanted, but my body certainly wasn’t.

“Yes,” I assented before my brain could take back control.

“You might regret saying that,” Sean said huskily.  With that as my only warning, he gripped the hem of my dress and flipped it up over my ass.  Without a moment’s pause, he grasped the elastic at the top of my white cotton panties and yanked them down to my thighs.  My cheeks burned as he exposed me to him, and I couldn’t help instinctively struggling against him.  I squirmed in his lap, but the friction only caused my rapidly-hardening clit to rub against his hard thigh, teasing me.  His fist tightened in my hair, tugging at it sharply.

“What have I told you about staying still?”  He demanded, his voice hard.

I stopped moving instantly, all of my muscles taut with the effort of restraining myself.

His hand caressed my ass, his rough palms sensually rubbing against my skin.  I couldn’t help moaning at the sensation as my core throbbed, silently begging him to move his touch lower.  “Now, Claudia,” he said, his voice suddenly brusque and business-like.  “I want you to remember that you asked for this, that you wanted to be punished.  You know that what you did was wrong, and you want me to discipline you.  Don’t you?”

Discipline?
 
I bit my lip, unwilling to admit that I had indeed asked for this.  What was wrong with me?  How could my body be burning with lust at the thought of him treating me like a child?  But I wasn’t a child.  I was a woman, a woman whose needs had become suddenly, acutely evident.  And the flames licking at my flesh told me that I certainly did want this.

But he wasn’t pleased at my hesitance.  “
Don’t you?
”  He said more insistently, his fingers digging into my ass cheeks for emphasis.

I couldn’t lie; this was exactly what I had just foolishly agreed to.  I nodded jerkily.

His grip on my cheeks tightened, and I whimpered as his short fingernails pressed half-moons into my sensitive flesh.  “I didn’t hear you,” he said softly.

“Yes,” I forced the word out, my voice unnaturally high and thin.

His hand was stroking me again, rewarding me.  “Good girl,” he praised.  Something within me glowed at the words.