Monster High: Who's That Ghoulfriend? (Monster High: Ghoulfriends Forever) (16 page)

N
estled deep within the lush forests of Oregon was a small and seemingly average town. Much like any other town in America, it had shops, restaurants, small family homes, and, of course, schools. So normal was the appearance of the town that it was actually quite forgettable. Every year countless travelers passed through without giving it so much as a second thought, utterly unaware that there was anything extraordinary or unique about the place. But, of course, had anyone stopped for a closer inspection, it would have become readily apparent
that the town of Salem catered to a rather specific clientele—monsters!

And while one might think that a town of monsters was terribly intriguing, it wasn’t. Salem had long puttered by with nary a scandal or drama outside of the occasional spat over which cemetery would host the Dance of the Delightfully Dead, a celebration of the happily departed. In fact, so unremarkable was the community that the most exciting thing on the horizon was the start of a new semester at Monster High.

Bright and early Monday morning, the well-worn wrought-iron gates to Monster High creaked open to a fast-approaching blitz of bodies. Amid the throngs of monster students was a petite gray gargoyle outfitted in a delightful pink linen dress with a Scaremès scarf wrapped stylishly around her waist as a belt. Moving carefully through the crowd, the young girl minded her Louis Creton
luggage and her pet griffin, Roux, but mostly her own two hands. As gargoyles are crafted of stone, they are burdened with both extreme heaviness and terribly sharp claws. And the last thing she wanted to do was snag her dress on the first day at a new school.

“
Pardonnez-moi
, madame,” Rochelle Goyle called out in a charming Scarisian accent as she crested the building’s front steps. “I do not wish to impose upon your business, but might you be looking for this?”

Rochelle bent down, picked up a raven-haired head with crimson lips, and handed it to the imposing headless figure standing next to the main doorway.

“Child, thank you! I keep forgetting my head, both figuratively and literally! You see, I was recently struck by lightning, and it’s left me with a spot of what the doctor calls muddled mind. But
not to worry, it won’t last forever,” Headmistress Bloodgood said upon remounting her head on her neck. “Now then, do I know you? In my current condition, I find it hard to remember faces or names or, if I am to be honest, almost anything.”

“No, madame, you definitely do not know me. I am Rochelle Goyle from Scaris, and I shall be living in the new dormitory on campus.”

“I am awfully thrilled that our reputation as the premier monster academy has attracted so many international students. You’ve come from Scaris, have you? However did you get here? I hope not atop the back of your sweet-faced griffin,” Headmistress Bloodgood said while pointing to Rochelle’s peppy little pet.

“Paragraph 11.5 of the Gargoyle Code of Ethics advises against sitting atop furniture, never mind pets! We came via Werewolf Hairlines, a most reliable company; the planes even come equipped
with reinforced steel seats for those of us made of stone,” Rochelle said as she looked down at her slim but weighty figure. “Madame, might I bother you for directions to the dormitory?”

Before Headmistress Bloodgood could respond, however, Rochelle was thrown to the ground by what felt like a wall of water. Hard, damp, and extremely cold, an unknown entity instantly covered both Rochelle and Roux in a dense, misty fog. Looking up from the floor, she saw a short, rotund woman with gray hair storming through the crowd like a tsunami, knocking over everything within a five-foot radius.

“Miss Sue Nami?” Headmistress Bloodgood called out as the watery woman rammed an unsuspecting vampire into a wall.

Upon hearing Headmistress Bloodgood’s high-pitched voice, Miss Sue Nami turned and stomped back, leaving a path of puddles in her
wake. Up close, Rochelle couldn’t help but notice the woman’s permanently pruned skin, crisp blue eyes, and unflattering stance. With her legs a foot apart and her hands perched on her shapeless hips, the woman very much reminded Rochelle of a wrestler, albeit a male wrestler.

“Yes, ma’am?” Miss Sue Nami barked in a piercingly loud voice.

“This young lady is one of our new boarders, so would you mind showing her to the dormitory?” Headmistress Bloodgood asked Miss Sue Nami before turning back to Rochelle. “You are in good hands. Miss Sue Nami is the school’s new Deputy of Disaster.”

Fearing that students might take advantage of her temporary state of absentmindedness, especially where detentions in the dungeon were concerned, the headmistress had recently brought in Miss Sue Nami to handle all disciplinary matters.

“Nonadult entity, grab your bag and your toy and follow me,” Miss Sue Nami screeched at Rochelle.

“Roux is not a toy but my pet griffin. I do not wish to mislead you—or anyone else, for that matter. Gargoyles take the truth very seriously.”

“Lesson number one: When your mouth moves, you are talking. Lesson number two: When your legs move, you are walking. If you cannot do them simultaneously, then please focus only on the latter,” Miss Sue Nami snapped before turning around and marching through the school’s colossal front door.

Upon entering the hallowed halls of Monster High, Rochelle was instantly overwhelmed with a serious case of homesickness. Everything around her looked and felt terribly unfamiliar. She was used to lush fabric-covered walls, ornate gold-leafed moldings, and enormous crystal
chandeliers. But then again her last school, École de Gargouille, was housed in a chateau that was once the residence of the Count of Scaris. So, as one might expect, Rochelle was rather shocked by Monster High’s modern purple-checkered floors, green walls, and pink coffin-shaped lockers. Not to mention the elaborately carved headstone, just inside the main doors, that reminded students it was against school policy to howl, molt fur, bolt limbs, or wake sleeping bats in the hallways.

“
Pardonnez-moi
, Miss Sue Nami, but are there really bats? As I am sure you know, bats can carry a wide variety of illnesses,” Rochelle said. Her short gray legs worked overtime to keep up with the stampeding wet woman.

“Monster High employs vaccinated bats as in-house exterminators to eat rogue insects and spiders. With certain members of the student body bringing live insects for lunch, we consider
the bats highly regarded members of the janitorial staff. If you have a problem with them, I suggest you take it up with the headmistress. But I
highly
suggest confirming her head is properly attached before doing so,” Miss Sue Nami grumbled as she rammed into an open door and, shortly thereafter, a slow-moving zombie.

The stunned zombie teetered sluggishly back and forth before collapsing to the ground, eliciting sympathetic whimpers from both Rochelle and Roux. Miss Sue Nami, however, stomped full speed ahead, totally oblivious to the effects of her reckless marching.

“I do not wish to tell you how to conduct your business, madame. But I must ask—are you aware that you have knocked quite a few monsters to the ground in the short time we have been walking?” Rochelle asked as tactfully as possible.

“That is known as collateral damage in the school-discipline business. Now, stop dawdling and pick up the pace; I’m on a schedule here!” Miss Sue Nami barked. “And if you are capable of both walking and listening, you will enjoy a brief tour along the way. If not, then I am merely reminding
myself where everything is! On your immediate right, we have the Absolutely Deranged Scientist Laboratory, which is not to be confused with the Mad and Deranged Scientist Laboratory, currently under construction in the catacombs.”

“Isn’t that going to be unnecessarily confusing?” Rochelle wondered aloud as she glanced into the room filled with Bunsen burners, vials of colorful liquids, plastic safety goggles, white lab coats, and countless peculiar-looking apparatuses.

“I have decided to disregard your question, as I do not deem it relevant. I will now continue with my tour. The laboratory is currently being used for Mad Science class, in which students produce a wide variety of things, such as lotion for the scaly-skinned, antifungal drops for the pumpkin heads, fur-calming serum for the hairy, organic oil for the robotically inclined, industrial-strength mouthwash for the sea monsters,
and much more,” Miss Sue Nami explained before stopping to shake her body like a dog after a bath, spraying everyone in a three-foot radius with water. Fortunately, as gargoyles are built to deflect water, both Rochelle and her dress were spared.

“I love water, and even
I
think that was super gross,” a scaly-skinned sea creature dressed in flip-flops and well-tailored fluorescent-pink board shorts muttered while she wiped her face with a fishnet scarf.

“Well, at least you don’t have a fur ’fro now,” a stylishly clad werewolf moaned, touching her long and luscious mane of now wet auburn hair.

“Lagoona Blue, Clawdeen Wolf, do not waste your lives standing around in the hallway complaining. Go and complain in private, like the smart, ambitious monsters you are.”

“
Bonjour
,” Rochelle mumbled quietly, offering
a painfully awkward smile to Lagoona and Clawdeen.

“A Scaremès scarf as a belt? That’s straight out of
Morgue Magazine
! Totally creeperific,” Clawdeen complimented her, clearly impressed by Rochelle’s chic style.

“
Merci boo-coup
,” the gargoyle called out as she jetted after the fast-moving Miss Sue Nami.

“Next we have the bell tower, just behind which you will find the courtyard and the Creepateria, respectively. To your immediate left you have the gym, the Casketball Court, Study Howl, and finally the Creepchen, where Home Ick is taught,” Miss Sue Nami said rapidly while storming through the cavernous purple-and-green halls.

After banging into a row of pink coffin-shaped lockers, the puddle-prone woman turned down an adjoining corridor and quickly resumed her tour guide duties.

“Here we have the graveyard, where you can fulfill your Physical Deaducation requirement with Graveyard Dancing, but of course you can also do that by joining the Skulltimate Roller Maze team, which practices next door in the maze. Next we have the dungeon, where detention is held, and finally the Libury, where both Ghoulish Literature and Monstory: The History of Monsters are taught.”

“Would it be possible to get a map?” Rochelle inquired politely with Roux perched sweetly on her shoulder. “While I have a most remarkable brain for remembering things, I’m all rocks and pebbles when it comes to directions.”

“Maps are for people who are afraid to get lost, or lost people who are afraid to get found, neither of which applies to you. Plus, for the time being all you really need to know is where the Vampitheater is, for the start-of-the-term assembly.”