Monster (12 page)

"We found her," Annie said. Her voice was calm, professional. "She had been dead for almost twelve hours. She'd probably died before anyone knew she was missing."

That was a small mercy.

I'd seen too many families blame themselves, feeling like they should have been able to save their loved ones.

No one could have saved Kelly.

"We found her," the blonde in my arms repeated.

"Urso did?" I asked.

She nodded.

"He did so well," she said. "At the end, he seemed so discouraged. Did you know that the search dogs got so sad when they were looking through the twin towers, finding only bodies, people had to hide for the dogs to find, so they didn't feel like they'd failed."

I'd heard about it.

"Urso didn't fail," I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. It wasn't something I had a lot of practice with. Yelling, swearing, threatening, that was what I was good at. It wouldn't do Annie any good, though. "You didn't fail."

When she turned her face away from me, I knew she was crying.

"I feel like I did," she said. "We went out at one, and it took us almost six hours to find her. If I'd just had Urso air scent instead of tracking, we might have found her sooner. Her mother would have gotten answers sooner."

"You know, that might not have been any kinder," I said. "I've had to tell people that someone they loved died. A few times, they tried to hit me, they told me that they had wanted to keep hoping. They blamed me for making it real. You gave her a few hours where she knew people were working hard for her daughter, but didn't have to face her death."

Annie's shoulders were shaking, and I pulled the quilt off the back of the couch, wrapping her in it and holding her close against me. She felt warm and heavy and perfect.

I found myself worrying about her, worrying about how she'd sleep, how she'd eat, how she'd cope with the horror of her night.

I'd spent over thirty years managing to avoid getting one woman that deep into my heart.

Even Cynthia, I liked her, found myself moving in with her, but it felt so wrong pretty soon. I'd just done it to make the sex more convenient.

Hah.

When we'd stopped fucking as much, we realized we had nothing else to say to each other.

I didn't know why I was thinking about Cynthia with Annie in my arms, but the comparison was very flattering – Annie outshone every other woman who had been in my life.

“You're wonderful,” I whispered in her ear, pulling her against me. “I'm here. I've got you. You're safe.”

-Annie-

Quinn's words undid me.

The whole time we were searching for Kelly, hoping and praying that she would be found safe and whole, I thought of Quinn.

His voice had played in my ears, a talisman against evil.

Evil had come, but I still felt so safe in the man's arms. I knew that he would protect me with every fiber of his being. He just radiated that sort of fierce pride that wouldn't allow him to let anyone he cared about come to harm.

Sometimes it made me want to run from him, made me feel smothered and trapped.

That night, it just made me feel cared for.

I let the man I'd grown to care for hold me close and sobbed into his chest.

“I felt so helpless,” I said, throwing out my arm, catching him a glancing blow on the arm. “I'm sorry, damn, I didn't mean to hit you.”

“No, I get it,” he said.

He met my eyes with his own emerald gaze and I knew he did.

I saw the grief and rage I was feeling, mirrored in him.

“Does it ever go away?” I whispered.

He shook his head.

“Sometimes I wake up, pissed as hell, because something happened to some little kid or broke woman eight years ago and I couldn't stop it,” he said. “I'll get up in the middle of the night and have to work out or go to the range or something. Clear my head.”

“Not super comforting,” I said, but I smiled at him.

“I thought you'd want the truth,” he said.

I nodded.

“I do.”

“Will this be your last search?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“No way,” I said.

“The worst part of the whole thing is that you liked it?” he asked, with a small half-smile twisting the edge of his sensual mouth.

“How did you know?”

“If you hadn't, you'd have thrown up and sworn never to go on another hunt,” he said. “You didn't seem ready to swear off it. Some people can't stand anything to do with death, danger, people in trouble.”

“Some people thrive on it?” I finished for him.

“Pretty much,” he said, stroking one hand down my hair absently.

“Does it make me a bad person?” I asked.

I was embarrassed by how small and young my voice sounded, like I was twelve instead of twenty-eight.

“No way,” he said. “Someone's gotta do it. You and I can do it so the squeamish don't have to.”

I nodded.

“Did you do that sort of thing when you were a cop?” I asked.

“Exactly that,” he said. “I worked a K9 unit. My Dragon, he's a big German Shepherd. Only thing I miss about the force.”

“Shit. You couldn't take him?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“Government property, doll,” he said. “They paid good money for him and his training. I heard he doesn't do as well with his new handler. Maybe if he washes out, I can buy him.”

“Who's his new handler?” I asked.

I wanted to tell him I was sorry about his dog, but damn. If I had had to give Urso up to someone else, I wouldn't want to hear anybody's empty fucking platitudes.

I'd have had my heart ripped out. Anyone rubbing salt in the wounds would have gotten their heads ripped off.

“Man named Shane,” he said. “I've known the guy for a while. Bugs the shit out of me.”

I frowned.

The name rung a bell.

“Shane Sandlin?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “How did you know?”

“He and a woman, Nora Allen, came with me and Dan last night. Guy was an ass. Seemed to think everything I did with Urso was wrong.”

“Well, you showed him,” he said. I looked up, and a small, proud smile was on his face.

“I feel terrible,” I said. “Every time I shut my eyes, I see her body. I feel like I should never laugh or smile again, but…”

I trailed off.

“You didn't know her,” he said, gently. “What happened to her was horrible, but not personal. It's okay that you're not grieving someone you didn't know.”

“Yeah,” I said.

Quinn always found a way to help me, to reassure me.

It was hard to believe a man would do that for me.

I wouldn't have expected it when I first met him. I'd thought he was just a stud who was out to get his cock wet and used to women falling all over him.

He was arrogant, and with a body like that I didn't really blame him, but I'd found a core of kindness that warmed me.

I didn't think a lot of women had found it in him before. It thrilled me, feeling like he was sharing a private part of himself with me. It startled me to realize that I wanted him – all of him. I wanted to know everything about him.

“I need to stop thinking about this,” I groaned, putting my head in my hands.

“Want to watch a movie?” he asked, casually. “Or fuck?”

I paused.

“I want to fuck,” I said. I turned and captured his mouth with my own. Once we'd pulled apart, I whispered against his neck. “Make me forget, Quinn. Please.”

-Quinn-

Oh, fuck me.

There was a beautiful blonde pressed against me, whispering at me to make her forget her troubles, and all I could think about was revenge.

Some sick son of a bitch was still killing girls.

Someone had made Annie cry.

I wanted to fucking kill him.

A few people at the force had thought the killer might be a woman, didn't want us to limit our search to men. Fuck that. Not a lot of women got their rocks off by killing and raping teenagers girls. Plenty of men had.

There was no DNA, but that meant he wore a condom.

A lot simpler explanation than a crazed super-strong lesbian with a dildo.

I forced myself to focus on Annie, and not on the red rage building up inside me, seeking something to crush.

She gasped in my arms, and I realized I'd grabbed her shoulders way too hard.

“Sorry, sorry,” I breathed, stroking the places I'd grabbed and pressing gentle kisses against her neck. Nothing right about hurting a woman just because you were pissed.

“I don't mind,” she said, and when I looked at her face, her blue eyes were dark with desire.

That was one way of making her forget, at least. I could work with that.

I grabbed her hair, pulling her head to just the right angle for kissing that plump pink mouth.

No way was I going to hurt her, I wouldn't let anyone hurt her, but I knew firsthand how intense sex, a little rough, could make you forget a shitty day.

I knew how good it could feel not to have to think.

Even for just a few minutes.

Sometimes, that was all you needed.

My cock was already responding to the closeness of her, rock-hard in my jeans, straining through the fabric to reach the heat of her.

I closed my eyes and let myself go, reveling in the closeness of the gorgeous woman in my arms.

“Suck my cock,” I whispered, unzipping my fly and pulling my hard on out of my pants. She went to it with a will, sliding her lips around the head of my shaft and making me struggle not to just cum in her mouth from that alone.

After enjoying her blowjob for a few minutes, I knew I had to do something else or I'd burst.

“Stand up,” I told her, and she did.

I ordered her to take off her clothing, and each piece of skin she revealed drove me crazy.

There was nothing particularly graceful about her striptease, she wouldn't make any money as a stripper, but every little move of her body caught my attention.

She was so beautiful.

I needed to take her.

I stood up, cock swinging, and grabbed her, pulling her against me in a kiss. She melted against me as I slid two fingers between her legs, groaning at how wet she was, making sure she was ready for me.

After a few twitches of my fingers, just to tease her, I bent her over the couch.

I slid my cock along her slit for a minute, teasing both of us, tormenting us with our desire for each other, before I slid inside.

It wasn't like the other times we'd fucked. I didn't go an inch at a time, stopping and waiting for her to get used to it.

I slid all the way home in one long stroke.

She groaned, deep and low in her throat, and I stroked her hair, reassuring her, promising her wordlessly that she was mine.

Her hips twitched back at me, and I took the hint.

I set up a rhythm just this side of punishing, grabbing her hips and pulling her back onto my dick over and over, not letting her take a full breath.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she chanted. I wanted to lean over and kiss the words out of her mouth, but I would have had to stop fucking her so hard, and that seemed like the worst thing in the world.

Her head was turned to the side and I watched her lips form the words, over and over, as I pounded deep inside.

It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen.

Our rhythm was hard and fast and I didn't know how long I could last, but I didn't want the moment to end.

She came before I did.

It pushed me over the edge to my own orgasm, releasing inside of her tight channel.

Annie slumped onto the couch, boneless, smiling.

“I needed that,” she said. “Thanks.”

"No problem," I said, patting her ass and making her laugh with it.

I didn't ask her how she was feeling. That would defeat the whole point.

Well, not the whole point. A lot of the point was to get my dick as deep inside her as it would go, plunder her with my hard cock and listen to her begging for it.

That was always the plan when she was around.

"Would you stay here tonight?" she asked.

I looked down at her face, the dark circles under her shining eyes, the dirt rubbed into her golden hair, and nodded.

"Sure," I said. "Let's get something on the screen, though, okay?"

We started watching Parks and Rec - I figured anything with violence would be a problem for her today - and cuddled up under the couch together.

I couldn't decide if I loved it or not. I felt like I should want to jump away like she'd scalded me.

This was way too fucking domestic.

This was exactly the sort of thing we'd agreed not to do when we'd started fucking. Sex, movies, sure. Those were fine.

Not running my fingers through her hair, staring down at her and feasting on the sight of her.

She could get over it.

I was falling in love with her and nothing else mattered.

If she didn't like it, I could talk her around. I was really goddamn persuasive. I knew she liked me, liked hanging out with me, liked my cock inside her.

Her shoulders heaved in a yawn, and I turned my attention back to the TV.

No point in showing her how I felt about her yet.

I was going to have her, body and soul.

I just needed to convince her.