Monitored (The White Coat Series Book 3) (17 page)

“I’m so sorry, sis.” He gave me another hug. I knew Connor was restraining himself from getting up and beating both Blake and Alexander to bloody pulps right now. I wasn’t entirely sure that my brother could handle the both of them, so I rather he stayed close by me for now.

“It’s creepy too. Like this whole time, I was living with some double-agent. I’m not even sure I know who Alexander is.” The thought hurt, sending another stabbing pain through my heart. I had gotten to know him, I had fallen for him.
 

I loved him.

And then I find out that it was all some elaborate act. At that point, I didn’t give a shit about what Blake would do. He could live his life in a ditch filled with snakes and I wouldn’t care any less. But Alexander. I didn’t know what I wished his fate was.

I just felt so hurt. Devastated.

“I swear, Sky, if I ever see either of them.” Connor balled his fist up, punching it into the palm of his left hand.
 

“You won’t. I don’t plan on seeing either of them.”

Saying it hurt me more than anything. It was like the final shovel of dirt, sealing the coffin. Alexander had the potential to fulfill my every desire for the rest of my life. Every aspect was appealing to me. Every freckle that marked his skin. Every muscular wave of his. Every time he smiled.

Why? Why did he have to be such a dirty liar?

Connor began to bite at his nails, a bad habit of ours that I had managed to kick back in middle school. He was still afflicted.

“You don’t think he’ll try to talk to you?”

“Oh, I’m sure he will.” I glanced down at my phone, almost an instinct at this point.

Connor cracked his knuckles. Pop, pop, pop.

“Damn, Sky. And here I thought my life was the crazy one.” He chuckled a bit, shaking his head in disbelief. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how soon I was going to be able to get over Alexander, but I needed it to be quick. My life had been put on halt for far too long. I still had college to finish, a career to pursue, possibly a puppy to keep Kester company in the near future. I had things to look forward to.

So why did I keep looking back?

Was it because the memory of Alexander was so alluring? I could feel his bed sheets in my fingers, smell the way his hair smelled like ocean and man just after a shower. He could make me laugh too, and his talent was enough to make me feel weak at the knees.

And that heart. The one I thought I saw, the way he talked to me, swooning me with every word he would whisper in Portuguese. I didn’t even know what they meant, but it was still enough to wrap me around his finger.
 

“You’ll find someone though.” He bit at his nails even more, causing his thumb to bleed drops of dark crimson. Something was bothering him, I could tell.

“Con, is everything ok?”

“What? Yeah, of course. This isn’t about me, it’s about you.” He noticed my quick glance at his nails and put his hands in his lap, balled up with anxiety. I arched an eyebrow.

“I didn’t want to bring it up. Really, I didn’t. I know you already have enough stuff on your plate.” He didn’t meet my eyes, glancing down at the same stain I was noticing earlier. “I’m in trouble, Sky.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

He took a breath and got up from the couch, pacing in front of the television now, about to burn a hole right through my hardwood floors.

“I’ve been seeing this guy I haven’t really told you about. He’s a nurse, studying to become a doctor. Great guy, we’ve known each other for a really long time. He might actually be the first guy I’ve ever had a crush on, even before I came out. I think you’ve met him before; Jason introduced us once.” I sensed something was coming, Con slowing his pace. “But, I think he’s hiding something. Something big, Sky.” He turned to looked at me. “I can’t pinpoint it, but there’s something there. And I’ve been getting these weird, threatening text messages from random numbers, and they started the day after we started officially dating, and I don’t want to think they’re connected, but something is off.”

I could see the worry in his eyes. “Have you talked to him?”

“Sort of,” Connor sighed. “I wish I could tell you everything, Sky. I really do.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked, leaning forward. It wasn’t like him to keep secrets like this.

He just shook his head. Whatever it was, Connor really felt like telling me wasn’t the best option, and that was what scared me the most. I could only think that he wouldn't fill me in because he was scared I would do something. Or maybe he was scared of what would happen to me if I knew?

He saw the intense worry that was registering on my face and suddenly reassessed his tactics. He seemed to calm down and stopped being so jittery.

“Forget it. Forget I ever even brought it up.”

I just cocked my head. “I can’t forget any of that, Con. If you think I will then you must think I have amnesia.”

“I’m overreacting, that’s all. Give me some time, you’ll see. Besides, you’ve got your own shit to worry about. And it looks like a lot from where I’m standing.”

“Thanks for pointing that out.”

He shrugged. “It’s what I’m here for.”

“I just want to make sure you’re ok,” I said, still concerned but being able to relax a little.

“Of course.” He walked into the kitchen and got himself some Advil out of the top cabinet. I could hear the green gel pills clacking together in the case as he poured some into the palm of his hand. I didn’t hear any water because Connor said he never needed to drink water with medication. Claimed it was a special ability.

I claimed it was bullshit.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed on the side-table next to the couch, the plastic case dancing across the glass surface. I glanced at the screen and felt my heart skip a beat. Across the screen was Alexander’s name, bold and highlighted against my bamboo plant background.

It didn’t take him long at all to try and get me back.

I flipped the phone over without even reading the message. I wasn’t in a mental place to deal with him right now. He needed to give me at least a week to even consider reading his text messages. I knew what they probably said anyways--filled with “sorry”s and “forgive me”s and “we need to talk”s.
 

I thought it wouldn’t have anything important to say, nothing that I didn’t know already.

Oh, how wrong I was.

MY PHONE HAD BUZZED FIVE more times before I decided to just shut it off. It was getting to the point where I was about ready to just launch my phone at the wall. It wasn’t like me, being this angry, but something about Alexander’s betrayal affected me to the very core. He was such a powerful force in my life, and to burn to such a stamp on my heart so quickly, we were bound to be a perfect match. I could feel the way we would stretch the other’s boundaries, pushing at pressure points, bringing life to the other.

It would have been magical.

And now, it was shattered into dozens of cracked and splintered pieces. I couldn’t lie to myself, the potential of putting those pieces back together was there, but it would be so, so very hard.

I said bye to Connor, still worried about him, but feeling like at this point there wasn’t much else I could do. He knew I was only a phone call away, so I hurried into my car and drove back home, the sun already setting on the tumultuous day.

I got home and hurried up the steps to my apartment. Not expecting who was waiting there.

I gasped involuntarily as I noticed the shadowy figure sitting by my door, his head held between his knees. At the sound of my fright, the man looked up and locked eyes with me.

“Alexander,” I said, confused and still scared.

“I’m sorry I had to do this, but you weren’t picking up your phone.” He got up off the floor and walked over to me. I put out a hand, stopping him from coming any closer. If he thought this was the way to earn back my trust--by camping out in front of my apartment door uninvited-- then he had another thing coming.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I said, backing up from him. He was wearing a leather jacket over a white-t, my favorite look on him, and yet I was still scared of him.
 

What did he do to me?

“Sky, please. We need to get inside.” There was a hint of urgency in his voice.
 

“Do you actually think I’m going to just invite you in after I find out that you were apparently only around to keep me quiet? Like a fucking well fed lion at some zoo.”

“I can’t deny that was the original intention." He stepped closer, his eyes begging for forgiveness. "But from the moment I met you, I knew that this was all for us. Blake was just the reason we met, the reason I stayed was because of you.”

I put down my hand but still stayed an arms length away from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to lose you. I knew that something like that was going to ruin everything I felt with you." He took a deep breath, the jacket lifting up. "So I decided that I was going to quit being Blake’s assistant and pretend the whole thing never happened. I wanted to stay with you, Sky. I wanted to write songs about you, drink whiskey that burned the both of our throats, lose ourselves making love after the adrenaline of a crazy show.”

That was when I realized something. If what Alexander was saying was, in fact, true, then that meant he knew I had been pregnant, and it also meant he was willing to stay with me even through the chaos that pregnancy could have brought us. I ran a hand through my hair, not knowing what to think anymore.

“I don’t know, Alexander. I need time, honestly. I mean, this asshole plastic surgeon decides to drop this on me." I puffed out a held breath. "I can’t be expected to just bounce back up.”

He stuck a hand in his pocket, thumb hanging out from the dark jeans. “I want you to take as much time as you need, Sky. But I also want you to know the truth.”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I can ever really know the truth.” I looked out, hearing the screeching of brakes from someone who stopped just underneath a red light.
 

“Let me show you.”

“How do you propose on doing that?” I was still hesitant. I suddenly had my guard up extremely high. I felt like my emotions mirrored a cat teetering on a very high fence, every step closer to falling and crashing.

“I know who came to your house that night.”

I held onto the railing next to me. “Who was it?”

“It was Blake.” He said it with certainty. There was also something else there, something in the way his lips stayed open a bit. Those hot, full lips.

Damn.

“How do you know?” I asked, taking my focus away from his mouth and back up to those capturing eyes. The same eyes that I now couldn’t trust one hundred percent.

“I didn’t think about it before, but today when we were in his office,” I took in a sharp breath as Alexander continued, “he reacted really weird when you mentioned someone knocking on your door. I noticed, so I went back through the schedule and realized he had a dinner planned that same night you said someone was at your house.”

“What does him having dinner plans have to do with it?” I was getting unreasonably impatient, but I just couldn’t help it.

“Well... he canceled them.” He let the words sink in. It didn’t give Blake away red-handed, but it was definitely too big of a coincidence to pass up.
 

“And guess who the dinner was with?”

I shrugged. “The head of development at NBC. He would never cancel that meeting unless he was tied up and being waterboarded or because he lost his mind and was doing something else.”

I felt a little light; my heart going into fight or flight mode and choosing flight as the better option. I wanted to run past Alexander and lock up the deadbolt I had Jason install on my door. I wanted to curl up under my freshly washed sheets and forget about all this craziness.

I looked up at Alexander, those eyes piercing straight through me.

“Let me protect you.”
 

I realized then that I didn’t want to run past Alexander. I wanted to run with him.

“You weren’t spying on me?” I still stayed my distance, but I felt my own shields begin to lower. “Tell me the truth now, Alexander. Did you fall for me?”

The words felt like heavy rocks being pushed out of my mouth, thudding to the floor loudly with their weight. I needed to know. I wouldn’t be able to look at him again without questioning whether or not he was reporting my behavior to Blake.
 

I needed to know if he truly did fall for me. If Blake was just a means to an end.

He stepped forward, his arms coming around my waist. Slow at first, like a baby deer testing its footing, and then picking up confidence as my own hands drew up to his chest.

“Sky.” He leaned down and kissed me. Slowly and gently, just so that our lips danced together, warm breaths just a tickle. “I can’t see myself without you.”

I leaned into him, accepting his truth. I felt it in the way he kissed me. Something so natural was there, something that trust was simply made out of. I could feel that in the both of us. We had nothing more to hide.

I could accept the fact that Alexander had to do what his psychotic boss told him to do. I knew now that if anything, I should be thankful for that. If it wasn’t for Blake, I don’t think I would be here, feeling the soft black leather of his jacket under my hands, basking in him. Him basking in me.

Our hands explored further, mine running down his muscular chest and wrapping around his back, feeling the undulating shoulders as he moved his hands down to cup my ass, pulling me up onto him. I could feel his excitement pushing out from the constraints of his jeans.

I gripped his back harder and pushed him into me. I was so close to losing this man. I was so close to walking away from a fire that would reignite my life, over and over again.
 

“No more lies,” I said into his lips, taking the bottom one in between my teeth and giving a gentle bite. Our eyes locked, passion consuming the both of us, sparks floating in the air. The sun had already set, so the moon intermixed with the streetlights cast an orange-white glow on the both of us, mixing with the red flush that was consuming the both of us.