Moments In Time: A Collection of Short Fiction (65 page)

There were things that I had never told another soul. Things about my time with Mateo. Things so foul and damaging that I knew they would change how people looked at me―how Robbie looked at me―and I didn’t really want that.

I didn’t want to tell him.

I didn’t want to tell him about the beatings and the bruises, the burns and broken bones. I didn’t want to tell him about the threats and the I’m sorries, the please don’t leave mes and the I’ll kill you if you dos. I didn’t want him to know about my scars and my brand—the claim that Mateo had permanently etched into my body. I didn’t want to, but I did. Staring into Robbie’s sorrow-filled eyes, I recounted every sordid detail of my life with Mateo.

Robbie never flinched.

He sat by stoically while I told him that Mateo would stop at nothing to find me, that not even my alleged abduction by a rival gang and presumed murder had been enough to end his search. Somehow Mateo had known the abduction was a ruse—how he had known was still a mystery to me. Maybe it was that he wouldn’t be satisfied until he saw my rotting corpse in a morgue. Only then would he truly believe that the seemingly inevitable had happened to me―that I had been killed as retribution for one of his many affronts. That had been the basis of my plan all along: to make him think his enemies had kidnapped and killed me as payback. And it had taken months of painstaking preparation in an attempt to do just that..

Faking my death proved no easy task.

Robbie sat for God only knows how long while I relayed the details of my abduction, how I was stolen out from under Mateo’s nose in public―as far as he had known, I went into a bathroom and never came out. That had been the plan, and it went off without a hitch, except for the part about Mateo buying it.

I spoke of my new identity, and how I had thought things would be far easier than they turned out to be. How Mateo nearly found me in Buffalo, where I had initially run to after the staged abduction. I explained that I still didn’t know how he was able to track me, but that his connections were deep and his fixation unending. I stressed that Robbie choosing to be with me
would likely prove to be anything but safe for him. Once I felt I had beaten that final point to death, I stopped talking. I sat there silently, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. I couldn’t believe what I’d done―it was something I’d never done before. For the first time since I’d escaped Mateo and abandoned my family, I’d unburdened my heart and mind by trusting someone with the very secrets that had kept both me and anyone close to me alive.

He should have been scared. He should have been furious with me for endangering his life. He should have gotten up and walked out of my apartment without so much as a glance in my direction. He should have been a lot of things.

But he wasn’t any of them.

The only thing I saw when I looked at him was concern. Not pity. N
ot fear. He wasn’t worried about himself and the danger I’d put him in. He was worried about me.

That truth nearly broke me.

I crawled across the couch toward him, stopping just short of him, my face leaning in toward his. I wanted to touch it―to touch him. There was something infinitely sexy about him in that moment. I knew then that he was man enough to handle not only what I’d told him but also what it could mean for his future.

I never thought in a million years that I would find someone willing to accept the things that I struggled with daily, so I had never tried. I had thought it would be selfish to bring someone else into the mess I’d made of my life, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was human.

His hand tentatively reached for my face, lightly tracing the edge of it with the back of his hand. The second it made contact, I felt the tear escape. It was followed by others.

I felt him pull me gently toward him, enveloping me in his strong arms. His fingers wove expertly through my curls, calming me with every pass. The sensation was foreign to me but amazing.

I sat up to face him, not knowing what to say, but that didn’t seem to matter. What else needed to be said? I had thrown every skeleton I had in my closet at him, and he stepped over the pile like he barely even noticed it. There are no words for such an act.

But there were actions.

I leaned in and brushed my lips to his, an invitation he could either accept or reject. His last chance to walk away from the chaos that was my life. But he didn’t. Instead, he met my gesture head on, capturing my mouth with his. The tension and pressure that had built up in the room while I shared my harrowing past with him had come to a head. What should have been a slow and steady burn of passion between us soon erupted into a frenzy of kissing and stripping; our clothes couldn’t be removed quickly enough.

Soon enough, I was on my back, naked from the waist up with Robbie’s weight pressing down against me. It was everything I had never known I’d wanted. Frantically, I pulled him tightly against me. The security I felt in return was undeniable.

I didn’t want to let him go. Ever.

“You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever known,” he whispered in my ear as he unzipped my jeans. “There is so much fight and fire in you.”

Soon he had my pants tossed across the room, taking a moment to stare down at me before he removed his own.

“Commando . . . I should have figured that.”

“I am but a simple man,” he mocked, laying his body firmly back on top of mine. “But I know what I want.” His voice was low and serious. “And I know what I need.”

As he returned his lips to mine, the heat between us grew further. He again pressed himself against me, his hands sliding down to the small of my back to pull me closer still. I bit my lip in response.

“And what exactly is it that you need?” I whispered, the breathy nature of my words only spurring him on.

“A strong woman,” he replied, his voice muffled as he kissed his way down my neck. “One with enough fire in her that even the Bering Sea can’t extinguish it.”

He paused long enough in his descent down my chest to stare up at me intently. I wasn’t the only one with fire inside me—his gaze proved that to me.

I knew he wanted me physically, but there was more to it than that. He wanted to know me in a way that nobody ever had. How we had gone from our cat and mouse game to this so quickly was beyond comprehension. And, yet, there we were. I knew I would be more than a one night stand to him.

I feared that he would prove to be more than that for me as well.

But there was also a comfort in that notion, which was seductive indeed.

Within seconds, what little fabric still covered me was off and we were no longer dancing around what we both wanted. Pressing deep inside me, he let out the sweetest sigh, pausing to enjoy that moment before withdrawing just enough to make me chase after him. I could see that he didn’t want to rush things, the strain in his expression obvious, but I didn’t make it easy for him. Fear, exhilaration, and want—each drove me—and I forced his pace, grinding against him until he had no more willpower left. On the couch in my living room, we had sex with an abandon that I never imagined possible.

And the release I felt at the end was life-changing.

Walls broke within me. I had not only shared my secrets with Robbie that night. I had shared my soul―my being. For the first time in years, I was truly connected to someone. Looking into his eyes as his face hovered over mine, our naked bodies still touching, I could see that he felt the same way.

The que
stion that remained unanswered for both of us was how we would proceed.

“So that was a bit unexpected,” he drawled, smiling down at me before he kissed the tip of my nose gently. “If that’s what I get for cooking, consider me your personal chef from now on.”

“Or at least until you have to go back to sea, right?” I asked, cautiously feeling him out. I knew he loved the sea from the passion with which he spoke of it. But being at sea meant he would be far away from me for weeks, maybe months, at a time. Even though I knew what his time at sea meant to him, I selfishly wanted him to stay back on the mainland with me.

He cocked his head to the side, assessing me in the way only he seemed to be able to.

“Such a loaded question to ask a sex-clouded mind,” he said, his brow furrowing slightly. “I like to cross bridges when I get to them, Cris. We’re not there yet. And, besides, you might hate me by then.” He failed miserably in his attempt to keep a straight face.

“Listen, I am far from the clingy sort. I think my past speaks to why this is pretty clearly, but I’m not one to spill my secrets and sleep around. There’s a reason I’ve managed to stay hidden this long, and it doesn’t involve establishing bonds with those around me.”

“I hear a ‘but’ coming.”

“But, for whatever reason, I can’t seem to shake you.”

“I am a bit of a barnacle, aren’t I?” he joked, smiling down at me.

Damn him and that smile.

“Exactly. So now I’m wondering just what I’m going to do with you.”

“Well, what you just did was pretty awesome. I’m down to do that again.”

And sure enough, it seemed pretty apparent that he was.

“Do you take anything seriously?” I sighed as he dropped his head down to kiss me.

“Oh, I take sex very, very seriously. Make no mistake about that.”

All I could do was laugh. His charms, amongst other things, had penetrated me, leaving me a girly mess of hormones. The morning would likely bring about a clarity to my thoughts, but, for that night, I just wanted to live in the moment. The one thing that Robbie could appreciate nearly as well as me was that tomorrow was never guaranteed.

With that thought fading from my mind, I gave into the moment.

chapter 6

Robbie

Wrapped tightly around me, Cristina fell asleep in my arms that night, looking so placid and serene. After what she had told me earlier that evening, I doubted she slept that way often. I, however, couldn’t sleep at all. Wide awake in her bed, all I could think about was how stressful and frightening her life must have been for her after years on the run. And she was still running.

She may have thought that Anchorage would be the final place that she would call home, but I was less convinced. I’d known my share of felons; crab fishing was a fresh start for many of them. For others, it was a way of avoiding temptation. What I’d learned from my countless hours on deck was that ninety-five percent of the men on the crew never changed. The drive to do the things they had done was still within them. After hearing about Mateo’s clear obsession with her, I knew that he would never give up.

The crazy ones never did.

With that thought plaguing my mind, I laid there and contemplated all the ways I might be able to keep her safe. Two dates into our not-even relationship and I was already internally vowing to protect her. She must have done just fine on her own in order to have stayed out of his reach for five years, but everyone’s luck ran out eventually. I knew a lot about that truth as well.

Mine was running out with the owners of the vessel. If I wasn’t ready to ship out on the next crabbing expedition, they had made it clear to me that I would be out not only a job but a career. And now, with potential ties to the mainland, I was less inclined to leave for Dutch Harbor on my scheduled return date, which happened to be in two days. Another voicemail from the owners confirmed that they had moved up their timeline, and I was to be back by then or be unemployed. I hadn’t mentioned my seemingly imminent departure to Cristina yet because she had never asked and I had never seen us going anywhere, so why would I have brought it up?

It was clear that I was going to have to bring it up now, though, after all that had changed that night, but how I could do it without making everything seem disposable remained unclear to me. I knew her secrets, but I didn’t know exactly how she operated. I could read people and profile them with ease, but that hardly meant I knew how they would act or react in all situations. And telling her that I had to take off in a couple of days was not something I was looking forward to doing. It required a degree of tact that I was unsure I had. I needed to sit her down and do it properly, maybe over dinner. I hoped that she would take it well and not read too far into it. I also hoped I wasn’t overreacting myself. I just couldn’t tell. All I knew was that I wanted her.

I needed to make sure I didn’t lose her before I had her.

chapter 7

Cristina

“So, we agree? I’ll see you after your shift tonight?” he asked me, his mischievous grin in full force. His smile undid me every time. Since the moment I’d met him, my resolve had never really stood a chance.

“Will you leave me alone if I say yes?”

“No . . . well, maybe. Do you mean for now or for always?” He furrowed his brow in mock concern, but I knew it was all show. That boy had a way of burrowing under your skin and making a home there. He knew damn well that I wasn’t getting rid of him, or at least I thought he did.

Even if I should have done precisely that.

“Yes, I will see you tonight. I’ll meet you at The Crab Shack—if they let us back in. Don’t be late,” I warned. “I don’t do late. Ever.”

“Never late. Got it,” he nodded, pretending to make a mental note of my pet peeve. “Unless you’re debating the notion of standing me up, right? Anything else I should know about now? Dealbreakers and such, I mean, other than the obvious psycho ex-boyfriend thing. I’m pretty clear on that one, and, thankfully, I don’t have one.”