Momentary Marriage (20 page)

She looked up at him in shocked surprise. “If I don’t take them, I run the risk of getting pregnant.”

For just one flash, the image of Jared laughing with his niece burned in her brain, followed swiftly by a picture of the three of them—she, Jared and a baby of their making, all cuddled together in this same bed.

Jared met her gaze and shrugged, a crooked smile on his face. “There would be worse things…”

Her breath caught in her throat, raw suddenly with fear and longing.

“…but if having a baby right now doesn’t appeal to you and you wanted to get off the pill, there are other means of birth control,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her as he got up from the bed. “It’s up to you. I’m saying I wouldn’t be upset if you did get pregnant, which can happen when even when you’re on the pill.”

Watching him as he disappeared into the bathroom, Kelsey drew in a shaken breath.

After the last few halcyon days, the idea of having a child with him made her all warm inside. Kelsey drew herself up on to the now-empty bed, her heart racing at the realization of how many of her defenses he’d found his way around. If she felt this way after only a few days of marriage, what would a year do?

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“How lovely that you could both spare the time for lunch,” Chloe said, opening her menu as she beamed at her daughters.

“Of course, we have the time to have lunch with you, mother,” Kelsey said with a smile. She dropped her napkin into her lap, thinking how familiar this was. All her life, it had been Kelsey, Chloe and Amy against the world, despite the coming and going of husbands. How many times had they sat like this, across the table at an expensive restaurant?

“Well, this is your first day back at work since the honeymoon.” Chloe reached over and patted Kelsey’s hand. “I do hate having to fly home today. It seems we’ve hardly had time to say hello.”

“At least you got to spend time with me,” Amy said brightly. “We’ve practically shopped all week.”

“Except when you were working,” her mother agreed in her happy, little-girl voice.

“Can’t you stay a while longer?” Kelsey asked. She was torn between wanting to avoid questions about her marriage and desiring time with her mother.

Her mother shook her head, her face sorrowful. “Armando wouldn’t like it. He made me promise. I’m not to spend any more money than necessary. I would have flown home already but I just had to see you when you got back from your honeymoon.”

Kelsey let her gaze fall to her menu, feeling her mood shift. Had it only been yesterday that she and Jared had flown home, still wrapped in the golden glow of a week alone together? She’d hated coming back to the city. Back to normal. The dream had to fade sometime, she supposed.

A waiter came and took their orders. Chloe handed her menu back with a sweet, almost child-like smile. “Thank you.”

“So are you keeping busy these days?” Kelsey asked, not wanting her deflating mood to dampen this brief visit with her mother. “Amy’s had time to catch up on all the news, but I haven’t. Are you still decorating the new house?”

“I suppose.” The older woman fidgeted with her silver. “It’s all very difficult. Armando insisted on this decorator and I can’t tolerate the woman.”

Kelsey glanced at her sister with foreboding. “She’s hard to work with?”

Her mother paused. “I think she’s having an affair with Armando.”

A sinking sensation settled in Kelsey’s stomach as she met Amy’s troubled gaze. “Are you sure? Maybe they’re just friendly.”

Chloe adjusted the vase of flowers in the center of the table. “That’s what your sister says. I know they’re friendly, all right, but I’m sure it’s more than that. I’m having him followed. It’ll break my heart if I’m right.”

“Oh, mother,” Kelsey said, reaching for her hand in an attempt to comfort. “Maybe you’re wrong. It could be nothing.”

“He’d be crazy to cheat on you,” Amy said stoutly. “You’re the best thing in his life.”

Drawing a hankie out of her tiny purse, Chloe wiped at the corner of her eye.

“Such good daughters. Always such a comfort to me,” she hesitated. “Dearest girls, I’m afraid I might have made another mistake. I thought he was different.”

There didn’t seem to be anything to say to that, so Kelsey didn’t try, although it wrenched her to see her mother so sad.

“You’re so lucky, Kelsey” her mother sniffled, smiling bravely. “I’m so thrilled for you that you’ve found Jared. He’s the perfect man. So attentive, so masculine. A man you can really rely on. He’d never have an affair with his decorator!”

“Maybe Armando isn’t either,” Amy reminded her, obviously trying to buoy Chloe’s spirits.

Kelsey sat across from her mother, silently conscious of the irony of the moment. The golden sheen of the last week glittered in her memory like sunlight on frost. So glorious, so easily evaporated.

She’d allowed herself a week of fantasy with Jared, a week of feeling loved and hopeful for something she didn’t even dare think about.

But this was real life. People loved and lost. Over and over again.

“Armando’s a great guy,” Amy declared. “It’s just a friendship, I’m sure.”

Their mother wiped at her eyes again with her fluttering handkerchief. “No. I think he’s fallen out of love with me…and me with him.”

“You’re sure things aren’t going to work out with Armando?" Kelsey asked after a long pause in which neither she nor Amy spoke.

“He was different in the beginning,” Chloe said sadly. “He brought me gifts, showered me with attention. He’d hardly let me out of bed. He was so passionate.”

Kelsey glanced down. Definitely more than she needed to know, but there was no denying that her mother was an affectionate woman.

“Everything’s different now. We hardly have two words to say to each other. I’m afraid…,” Chloe’s voice caught, “I’m afraid we might….”

Again Kelsey reached out to comfort her mother, the moment achingly familiar. “It’ll be all right, mother. You’ll always have us.”

With Amy’s arm around her, Chloe sobbed silently, discreetly, into her handkerchief.

What would it feel like to be divorced herself?
The thought streaked through Kelsey’s mind as she murmured reassurances to her mother. In less than a year, she and Jared would split up, just as they’d planned. And she’d get a divorce.

It was a reality that wasn’t swayed by the last seven days.

Her stomach went queasy at the thought. The past week had been…perfect. The two of them alone, laughing, making love.

Living a lie.

How could something so hollow feel so real? She’d loved before, but never with so little encouragement. It would be foolish to let herself romanticize her husband. Of course, he’d been sweet and attentive, passionate and sensual.

He’d said from the beginning that he wanted to have sex with her. She was the one who was in danger of confusing that hormonally-crazed desire with something more substantial.

She couldn’t let herself love him, no matter the temptation. This relationship was doubly-cursed. Time-limited from the beginning, it had an even shorter shelf-life than marriages based on the fleeting emotion of love.

How would she feel to discover her husband was sleeping with another woman?

Her stomach clenching again, Kelsey drew in a deep breath. He’d made her no promises outside of the wedding ceremony. She had to remember that, had to keep her heart safe.

“You girls mustn’t worry about me,” Chloe straightened in her chair, a smile dawning on her face. She reached out a hand to pat Kelsey’s. “I’ll be fine, particularly when you deliver those grandchildren Jared promised me.”

“What?” Kelsey sat back in surprise, not sure she’d heard correctly.

“Grandbabies,” Chloe said wistfully. “I’m so glad you aren’t planning on waiting to have children. Just think, you could be pregnant now!”

Kelsey instantly envisioned the little packet of pills she relied upon to prevent just such an occurrence. Pray God she wasn’t the one out of every hundred that ended up conceiving anyway. Children were definitely a part of her future, but not now. Not in this make-believe marriage.

“Jared told you we’re planning to have children right away?” she asked her mother carefully, suppressing the outrage that flared in her at such a thought. Chloe might be confused. He’d probably made a remark she’d misconstrued.

“Oh, yes. We had a quiet moment at the reception and he just sort of let it slip out. How wonderful to have a man who’s so excited about having children.”

“He specifically said I was planning to get pregnant?” Kelsey asked again, baffled and incredulous. Fury spilled through her. How dare he?

Her sister sent her a sharp look, but said nothing.

“Yes.” Chloe beamed. “It’ll be my salvation, dear. Just what I need to help get through the divorce with Armando. I’ll move back to
New York
. I’m so excited about a grandbaby. Don’t be angry with him for telling me.”

Kelsey drew in a breath with effort. The emotion that crowded in her throat as she looked at her mother’s happy face went far beyond anger. How could he? Why would he promise her mother such a thing?

“Was it a secret?” Amy asked, her curiosity clearly overcoming sisterly discretion.

“No.” Kelsey hesitated, not wanting to give her sister and mother the impression that her marriage was less than perfect, but unable to promise something she knew wasn’t going to happen. “We…haven’t really talked about when we’ll have children. Not specifically, I mean.”

“Oh.” The interest in Amy’s face flickered and shifted to Chloe. “So when do you think you’ll be moving back?”

Under the cover of their conversation, Kelsey’s brain reeled from the bomb her mother had inadvertently dropped.

Jared specifically promised her grandchildren?

It made no sense.

Naturally, her mother wanted grandchildren. The thought had changed her whole demeanor. How could Jared be so cruel when he knew they wouldn’t be creating a family?

*
**

“Whew!” Amy sank back against the seat as the taxi sped off, their driver whistling cheerfully. They had just seen their mother off, enduring her farewell tears as best they could.

Although she’d gone through the motions and hugged her mother fondly, all Kelsey could think about was Jared telling Chloe she’d be a grandmother soon. What the hell was he up to?

“Well, what do you think?” Amy asked, turning her bright-eyed gaze on her sister.

“I think she’s leaving Armando,” Kelsey replied, having no difficulty interpreting her sister’s question. The latest development in her mother’s love life was just one more trigger, one more log laid on the fire. Relationships between men and women were torturous and perilous, and they sucked!

She felt as though she were wound tight. Sad about her mother. Furious with Jared and disappointed in him, as well. The glow of their honeymoon evaporated like bubbles from a cold bath.

“Yes,” her sister said. “I guess she is leaving him.”

“Mother getting a divorce doesn’t come as a surprise at this point,” Kelsey commented dryly.

“No,” Amy agreed, sliding her a sideways glance. “But she did like Jared…and the idea of you two having kids.”

“Yes.” As hard as she tried, Kelsey couldn’t quite keep the hostility she felt out of her voice.

“I guess he sort of jumped the gun about that, huh?” Amy commiserated with a sympathetic glance.

“Something like that.” Just the thought of his casually informing her mother that she’d have grandchildren soon made Kelsey grind her teeth. How could he have told Chloe something so patently untrue?

“I never cared for Armando,” Amy mused. “Too Continental.”

“How nice that we’ve learned to take these changes philosophically,” Kelsey said crisply. “It grows easier and easier to find a reason why our latest step-fathers should be gotten rid of.”

“Well, if he’s cheating on her…,” Amy let the comment trail off.

“Do you ever think about our father?” Kelsey asked abruptly, giving voice to a topic that had crossed her own mind more frequently of late. “Where he is? What he looks like?”

“I sometimes think about why he’s ignored us all our lives,” her sister answered matter-of-factly. “But I haven’t thought much about him lately. Why?”

Kelsey stared at the back of the cab driver’s head. “No reason.”

“Hey,” Amy said suddenly, “do you think I should have told Mom about me and Doug?”

“I don’t know,” Kelsey said, throwing her a glance and bracing herself as the taxi sped around a corner. “Is it still going well between you two?”

Amy smiled, her lips curving like a cat fat on cream. “Oh, yeah. I think we’ll move in together eventually. We’re either at his place or mine, most nights.”

“Really?” Kelsey couldn’t help the urge to caution her soft-hearted sister. “So soon? It seems kind of fast.”

The glance Amy sent her was indulgent. “I’ve known him and loved him most of my life.”

“But he hasn’t known he loves you very long,” Kelsey said, worried. She couldn’t stand the thought of Amy suffering further heartbreak over Doug.