Modern Romance (31 page)

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There was, like, one dude around in some photos, but the shots of him were not really the headline-grabbing images that spread around. Those were overwhelmingly images of women.

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This is real! Please Google it.

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NOTE: To cover myself legally, I need to again let you know that this is a couple who posed for a stock photograph, and I have no idea if they are together or if they indeed have an open relationship and “fuck other people.” They are not real people. Well, they’re real. They’re not, like, clones or something. Whatever. You get what I mean. For real, though, they’re cyborgs.*

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NOTE 2: I just heard back from my lawyer that to be 100 percent legally in the clear, I need to be explicit that these are not cyborgs and that they are just people who posed for a stock photo image. Sorry for any confusion.

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For those not from the South, Hardee’s is a fast-food chain that specializes in breakfast biscuits. They do other shit, but I mainly remember being into them for the biscuits. Particularly the chicken biscuit.

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I went to school with a kid in South Carolina named Dusty Dutch. For real. How amazing is that name? Had to include this fact. Finally glad this info is out in the world.

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“Shorty had them apple bottom jeans . . . boots with the fur . . . (with the fur!) . . . the whole club was looking at her . . . ”

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Numerous attempts to get a manuscript to Mr. Iglesias unfortunately were unsuccessful.

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