Modern Girl's Guide to Friends With Benefits (25 page)

Modern Girl Tip #6 Too Much Talk Kills The Mood:
Keep your calls short and infrequent. Remember, your FWB is not your BFF. All calls and texts should be on topic. The topic being sex. If you want to chat about your day, call one of your girlfriends.

Worry was like an angry squatter holed up in the back of Megan's brain, despite a completely perfect week. Things were going well. Really well, in fact. The only problem they seemed to have was finding time to see each other. Between Peter's work, his evening shifts at his family's business, and Megan's looming book deadline, they couldn't seem to find enough time when they were both free. And the fact that her winter break was almost up just added to the pressure.

They made do. There were a number of lunchtime rendezvous, a stolen afternoon where they both played hooky and lots of late nights. To Peter's credit, he'd been incredibly accommodating. Megan couldn't deal with interruptions while she worked. She kept her phone off most of the day. Instead of complaining, he'd just show up at her house, dinner in hand.

They fell into a shockingly normal pattern. In the evenings, they'd eat, hang out reading or watching movies, hole up in her bedroom. It was like their own little sanctuary of love. Even the early mornings were starting to become routine. Connor would come over in the mornings with food and coffee for the three of them. They'd eat. Peter would head off to work, and Connor would go over the work progress, and then she'd head up to write. It was like the proverbial changing of the guard.

As Friday rolled around, they were both exhausted and spent the entire evening in bed watching TV, just cuddling. Megan had been looking forward to a weekend alone with Peter. No work or holiday obligation eating into their time. They laughed, ate, drank, and made love all weekend. It was better than any vacation.

With Monday looming over them, they left the cocoon of her house and walked up to XXX coffee to enjoy waffles, one of Patrick's weekend specials. Peter read the paper while Megan did the crossword puzzle, like a normal couple. It was odd how things were the same, but so different between them. The mundane things, like having breakfast together on the weekends, hadn't changed, but there was a new energy to them. The silence was comfortable, an affirmation of their compatibility. Megan could see this scenario playing out again and again.

The quiet of the morning was interrupted by Peter's cell. He frowned and got up from the table, kissing her on the head. "It's Jesse. I'll be back."

"This is new," Patrick said after he left. He topped off her coffee and collected their empty plates. "You look really happy."

"Things have been good." Megan sipped her coffee, unable to get the silly grin off her face.

Everything was coming together. The house was almost finished. She'd started shopping for furniture since none of her old stuff fit into the new house. Things were going great with Peter. Hell, even her book was finished. She was just a day or two away from sending the finished draft off to her editor.

She'd never been this content with her life. Not during the years she'd dated Aaron. Not even after she'd quit the high-pressure graduate program. Everything seemed to be running smoothly, and Peter was at the center of it.

So what the hell was wrong with her? Why couldn't she just be happy? Something was bothering her, like an itch she couldn't quite scratch. There wasn't anything wrong with what they were doing, but it didn't feel real.

"So I take it things are going well with Peter?" he asked.

"Peter and I have been friends for years, so there's not been that awkward getting to know you stuff, " she said. "It's been nice to be able to spend this time with him."

"So you've said. Connor and I were curious. During all that time you guys were friends, you never…" He raised an eyebrow and waved his hand in a "you know" gesture.

"Nope."

"Not once in all that time?" he asked, frowning. "Seems odd that now all of the sudden you're all over one another."

"Our relationship was never like that. It's complicated." Megan shrugged, frustrated to have to still be answering the questions. She didn't blame Patrick for his curiosity. It wasn't his fault that she'd been explaining their relationship over and over for years.

People just didn't get it. Sure, there had been a time or two when things could have changed. And yes, when she was in high school, Megan had desperately wanted them to be more than just friends, but Peter had treated her more like a sister than a woman. When they got older, something always seemed to stop them.

She'd assumed it was because he wasn't attracted to her, but if the last couple of weeks did anything, it proved that wasn't true. Unfortunately, that didn't mean they were meant to be together. And that was the problem. Megan kept waiting for him to get bored and move on.

"But what changed?" Patrick asked, pressing the issue.

"Nothing. We've known each other since we were kids. A lot has happened since then. Maybe deep down we both needed to grow up a little before we could make it work." Or maybe it was all going to fall apart tomorrow. "Like I said, it's complicated."

"Well, whatever happened, I'm glad. Just remember, it gets even more complicated when your heart's entangled. Be patient and don't give up when things get hard."

Patrick nodded to Peter as he sat down, and moved to another table. She wondered if he doled out relationship advice to all his patrons or if he just went out of his way to analyze her.

"There's a storm front headed our direction and Jesse wants me to come in. It looks like it's going to be a big one."

"Do you have to leave now?" Megan asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. He'd spent the last thirty-six hours straight with her. A night apart wouldn't kill them. Still, she couldn't suppress the thread of fear creeping in. It was irrational, but Megan was terrified when he left this time, he'd finally come to his senses and this brief affair would be over.

"I've got some time," he said. "The storm won't hit until noon. Let's finish our breakfast, and I'll walk you home."

"Why don't we do something fun next weekend?" Megan said, doodling on the discarded crossword puzzle. She hated this feeling gnawing at the pit of her stomach. If they made some plans, started doing something besides having sex, maybe she'd feel better. "It doesn't matter what we do, I just want to go out. Maybe we could go to see a show or you could take me to Danny's. We haven't done that in forever."

"It's been three or four years. We had a lot of fun there. I don't think we've ever gone without Simon or Matt."

"It would be nice, just the two of us. Matt always hated the crowds, and would slip out the second no one was looking. And you and Simon were always trolling for women. It would be nice to go out with you and not have to worry about being left." Megan leaned over and kissed his nose. "Imagine that. I could actually leave with the person I came with. What a novel idea."

"Speaking of Simon, we talked yesterday." Peter put his hand over the paper she was drawing on, forcing her to look up. "Why haven't you told him yet?"

"I'm going to." And she was. She just hadn't figured out what to say yet. "I wanted to give them a little more time to get settled. With their engagement hitting the paper, he didn't need another thing thrown at him last week. I'll talk to him soon. I promise."

"You can't keep putting this off. All this hiding and secrecy is just going to make it worse when he finds out." Peter closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are going to tell him about us, right?"

"I'm not trying to keep us a secret," she said. "What's the hurry? Simon is your business partner and I don't want to put a strain on that relationship. We can't just make a big announcement out of this. I'd like to have a conversation with him and that's not easy to do over the phone."

"So you were going to wait until he got back to Chicago? That's months from now."

"No. That's not what I meant. I just don't want to rush things."

"Well, tough. This isn't going to be like your writing, Meg. That's your secret and I've kept it for you, but I'm not going to lie to my friends about us. We're together now, and you need to start acting like it." Peter stood up and dropped a couple bills on the table, clearly agitated. "I'll give you one more week, but after that, I'll tell him myself."

She didn't understand why he was in such a hurry. Simon wasn't even here, so it shouldn't matter when she talked to him. Peter stood there, waiting for her to respond. His features were neutral, but Megan knew him well enough to know that this wasn't an issue he was willing to negotiate.

"I talk to him tomorrow." Megan stared out the window, watching the first flurries sputter to the ground. "I promise."

Peter's phone rang again. "It needs to be done, Meg," he said and kissed her forehead. "It's Jesse again. I'll be a minute."

The mood of the morning had soured and Megan was ready to go home. She was picking up their table when Connor came by and sat in the empty chair.

"Trouble in paradise already?" he asked and looked out the window to where Peter was pacing on the sidewalk while talking to Jesse.

"Why is it any of your business, or Patrick's?" she snapped back.

"That bad, huh?" He held up a hand to ward off her verbal assault. "You're right. It's not our business, love. But we are your friends. If you need to talk…" He let the words hang like an invitation.

"Everything's fine. It's just…" Megan slumped back into the chair, feeling defeated by the whole situation. She was terrified. And the more Peter pushed, the more she resisted. "It's stupid. Are relationships always this hard?"

"Would it make you feel better or worse if I said yes?" He looked over to where Patrick was helping customers, and smiled. "Every relationship is about give and take. It's hard to find the right balance. And not everyone can."

Megan buried her head in her hands and sighed. "Can't you just lie to me?"

"What's going on?"

"Peter's pissed that I haven't told my brother we're dating," she said, looking out the window again. "I don't understand why he's in such a hurry to let everyone know what's going on in our personal life. We're happy right now. Isn't that enough?"

"Have you thought about it from his perspective? I dated someone who kept our relationship a secret. It made me feel like shite. Like I wasn't worth anything to him. But after I met Patrick I realized that was his problem, not mine. Don't be that guy," Connor said, looking her straight in the eyes. He reached out and covered her hand. "I mean it. Telling your brother should be a no-brainer. You seem to want this. So what's stopping you?"

"Things are still new. I'm scared the second we bring in the outside world things are going to fall apart. If we bring my brother into this, I'm worried it will destroy his relationship with Peter. I don't want that. It seems like a lot of added pressure we don't need right now."

"It's alright to be afraid." Connor gave her hand a comforting squeeze. "The fact that you're afraid means that you have something here that's worth losing. But don't let your fear be the thing that drives you two apart."

They sat in silence and Megan mulled over his words until Peter came back to the table.

"I'm sorry. I've got to go. They've moved up the timetable for the storm. Let me walk you back to the house."

The prospect of going back to her empty house and spending the afternoon alone didn't appeal to her right now.

"Go ahead. Connor and I are going over the final paint selections." She smiled, a brittle smile, trying to put on a false ease she didn't feel. "A couple of weeks more and we'll be done."

He bent down and kissed her. "Don't stay too long. It sounds like this is turning into one hell of a storm."

"You be careful. Call me later if you can." She watched him go.

"Paint?" Connor raised an eyebrow. "Are you finally going to make a decision?"

"I don't care, just pick something," she said, packing her bag. "I need to get some editing done. So whatever you think works. I trust your judgment."

They'd been renovating her house for almost six months, and she had no idea what she was going to do with it now that it was almost done. Megan had only lived out of the two rooms the whole time, like some college student. She was thirty and still felt like a hot mess.

With her friends coupling off, Megan had felt lost. Like something was missing from her life. She'd thought the cavernous house was the answer she was looking for. Her father was always going on about how real estate was a good investment, and buying a house, restoring it, would fill in those missing pieces in her life.

But now that it was almost done, she didn't know what to do with the thing. Well, until recently. It wasn't so big and empty when Peter was there.

She wanted Peter. No, she needed him. And if that meant jumping off the abyss into the unknown, then she was going to do it.