Modern Girl's Guide to Friends With Benefits (17 page)

He knocked on the bedroom door, dreading the talk to come. He'd already made a mess of it at her place. Now she thought he was sleeping with his neighbor. "You can come out. She's gone."

Megan poked her head out of the door, still in the sweatshirt. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I was trying to give you enough time to smooth things over. I really didn't come here to ruin your night."

Peter waved her off. "You didn't ruin anything." There wasn't anything there to ruin. He wasn't interested in Stephanie. She had just been convenient. Meg, on the other hand…

Meg, he needed. She was his rock. The last thing he wanted was for that to change. Especially with everything else in his life spiraling out of control. He needed her more than ever. "I'd much rather hang out with you any night."

"So? Did you want to split that pizza?" she asked sheepishly.

"Screw frozen pizza. Let's order from Lou Malnati, and I think I still have a bottle of that Shiraz you liked." He stepped back from the door as if tempting a wild animal out in the open. "Come on out. I want to hear all about this guy obsessed with Heath Ledger."

"Heath Ledger?" Megan burst out laughing and threw open the door. "What are you talking about?"

"That guy at lunch. You said he was addicted to Heath Ledger. He was a fine actor, but that's a pretty strange obsession for a grown man."

"I said teeth whitener." Meg was laughing so hard, she had to grab his arm to steady herself.

Fuck, he loved that sound. Peter wanted to wrap her into his arms and kiss her, but Meg pulled away and headed to the kitchen.

"You should have seen him. My God, his teeth hurt to look at. They were so bright you could use them to navigate rocky waterways during a heavy fog."

"So tell me how you really feel," he said and followed her.

"Just order the pizza," she said, pulling open one of the cabinets. "Where did you say that wine was?"

He wanted to talk about their relationship. But an uncomplicated night with his best friend was exactly what needed after the stress of the last few days. They could talk tomorrow or this weekend. Right now he didn't want to ruin the mood.

They gorged on pizza, finished the bottle of wine, and ended up watching "The Dark Knight," to honor Ledger's memory. Then he turned on the newest Guy Ritchie flick. Megan passed out, spread across his lap, before the first car chase was over.

Peter sat there for a while, enjoying the feel of Meg pressed against him. It was funny the little things you missed when you were away. He'd missed hanging out with Meg. He'd missed the laughter and the trouble. But what he'd missed most while he was in New York was this easy closeness, without pretense or expectation, he always felt in her company.

Matt and Simon were like brothers, but even so, Peter still felt the need to meet their expectations. It wasn't their fault. Hell, their high expectations were the main reason he was where he was today, and he loved them for that. But his friendship with Meg had always been different. She was the only person who'd accepted him completely, one hundred percent, just the way he was. He didn't have to be on guard around her, or try to fit a mold, or meet expectations. Meg saw
him
.

As the credits rolled, Peter picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. But as he got closer to the door, he wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms, but it didn't feel right. Tonight had been more like old times, and other than the brief kiss when he came home, there'd been no "benefits." It took every ounce of his strength to take her to the spare room, but he felt it was the safest choice.

"Hmm," she sighed and snuggled into his neck as he pushed open the door. "I need to go home. I shouldn't leave Benny with Connor all night. He's going to think I've abandoned him."

"He'll be fine," Peter whispered. "You need to sleep."

"I should go."

In spite of her objections, as soon as he set her down on the bed, Meg closed her eyes and wrapped herself up in the comforter. He turned off the lights, happy that they were fine.

But despite the lingering normality of the night, Peter couldn't sleep. He spent the night going over the last few days he'd spent with Meg. All his earlier worries about sex ruining their friendship seemed pointless now. But now he faced a new problem. He was in too deep, and there was no way he'd be able to give her up.

He'd just nodded off when the bed dipped. Meg pulled back the covers and crawled in next to him without saying a word. She curled her nude body against his, tracing her hand down his bare chest in long, languid strokes. It wasn't the first time she'd crawled into bed with him, but it was the first time since they'd crossed that line from friends to lovers.

Peter pressed his lips into her hair, breathing in the soft floral scent that she always wore. He wanted desperately to kiss her, make slow, leisurely love until they both passed out, but he'd settle for just having her here in his arms.

She shivered and Peter pulled her in closer. "Are you alright?"

"I woke up alone," she whispered back as if sharing a secret.

"We didn't talk about sleeping arrangements," he said, explaining his decision.

Meg leaned up on her arm, and kissed him gently on the lips. "I've missed you."

Peter combed his fingers through her hair and pulled her back down for a more thorough kiss. Deep and long, filled with promise. When he broke away, they were both panting.

"Peter?"

In the low light from the city, he could see the question in her eyes. But she didn't have to ask. He wanted her more than his next breath, but this time he wanted to make love to her, not just fuck.

He shifted, entering her with slow, deliberate thrusts. She wrapped her legs around him, matching his pace. No words were needed to express his feeling. Peter buried his head in her neck, enjoying the feel of their bodies moving in synchronicity. The give and take, like so many dances they'd shared, was in itself erotic. And it was the one dance he wanted to continue forever.

But even when he was in control, even when he was taking things slow, Meg managed to drive him to the edge. He added a twist to his thrust, grinding his pelvis against her clit, desperate to get her there. A few more pumps and she cried out, digging her fingernails into the flesh of his back. The low, keening sound Meg made as she came pushed him over the edge.

Peter collapsed next to her, pulling her tight against his body, and she snuggled into the spot under his arm as if it were made for her. Hell, maybe it was, because he couldn't imagine anyone else there ever again.

Peter was up before dawn the next morning. He left Meg in his bed to sleep. And after a shower, he started breakfast, still unsure of how to handle their new situation. She wanted uncomplicated, but he couldn't just pretend that last night didn't happen. He was still musing over the situation when she strolled into the kitchen.

"Hey, there. Sleep well?" Megan asked as if it was any other morning.

The click of her high heels echoed around the kitchen. Peter looked up, unable to hide his scowl.
She had to be fucking kidding. That's what she wore to the museum benefit?

"Do you have any plans tonight?"

Peter was having trouble coming up with a response as she walked toward him. The dress was a dark blue wrap that clung to her curves. The cord tied around her waist was the only thing holding it closed. All it would take is a pull and he could have the thing pooled at her feet in seconds. Her hair was piled into a messy bun, and stray curls framed her face. And to top it off, she was wearing those glasses he loved. Even sleepy and a bit unkempt, she looked sexy as fuck.

"Earth to Peter," she said, interrupting his thoughts before they turned X-rated. She poured a cup of coffee and grabbed the creamer. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just showed up last night. I know you have your own life, and I don't expect you to drop everything for me. But I'm glad we had a chance to hang out, just the two of us. Everyone seems to be coupling up and I hate feeling like a third wheel."

"Is that what you wore yesterday?" he asked, unable to concentrate on her words.

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's a kind of—"

"Vintage? I know. Fantastic, don't you think?" She reached across and took a forkful of his eggs. "I found it at a little shop just down the street from my house. They sell men's clothes, too. Next time you come over, I'll take you. I think you'd look killer in this houndstooth fedora they have."

She licked the fork and Peter imagined that tongue sliding down his hard shaft.

"So like I was saying, I'm sorry I ruined your night," she said, taking another bite. "Next time I'll make sure you don't have plans before I come over."

"You know you're always welcome to come hang out anytime," he said.

Megan narrowed her eyes at him and her smile disappeared. "I was thinking we could come up with some kind of a code or something for when either of us want to spend some time together, so there's not any confusion. Like, 'Hey, do you want to get some pizza tonight?'"

"Why would we need a code?" he asked. "All you have to do is say you're coming over."

"A code for when, you know, those times when I don't just want to hang out."

"Are you talking about a hookup?" he asked finally catching on to her meaning.

"Whatever you want to call it." She shrugged, shifting back and forth on her heels. She wouldn't look at him. "I just think it would be easier if we're on the same page. I don't want another awkward night like last night."

"Don't worry about Stephanie. She's just a friend."

Evidently that wasn't the right thing to say. Meg's scowl deepened and she set her coffee down. "Forget about it," she said halfheartedly. "I need to go. There're a million things I have to do today and you need to meet with Jesse. I guess I'll see you at the New Year's gala."

Meg got up and started to collect her things. Peter could almost feel the temperature in the room drop. Now he was thoroughly confused. "Look at me, Meg. I meant what I said. You're welcome anytime. I just don't want this to be all about…the other stuff. I really did miss just hanging out with you while I was in New York."

"If you're not into this arrangement, just say so. Don't feel like you have to protect my feelings," she said, her tone still icy.

"It's not that." Peter let out a frustrated breath. Was this how it was going to be from now on? One step forward, three back.
Well, fuck that.
There had to be a way to pull out of the downward spiral they seemed to be in. "I'm sorry. You're right. Things are weird, but whatever we need to do to fix it, I'm on board."

All her things collected from the living room, Meg came back into the kitchen. He caught a glimmer of sadness in her expression, but it was gone so quickly he could have imagined it. "Why don't we talk about it after the New Year? Things are really busy for both of us right now."

Damn it, he felt like every time he tried to play by her rules, he screwed things up. With the attitude she was giving off this morning, he was certain she wouldn't be receptive to his desire to change things, so he just bit his tongue. There'd be time to talk later. "Yeah, I guess," he said, trying not to sound like a sulky child who'd lost his favorite toy.

"Good. I'll see you Saturday," she said and kissed him on the check. "Love ya."

And just like that she was gone, leaving him to wonder if he'd missed his opportunity last night. They were at this strange crossroads. They couldn't go back, but now he wasn't sure she wanted to move forward either.

There wasn't much to be done now. Peter had about two hours before he needed to meet up with Jesse. He hadn't quite managed to settle back in from his long stay in New York. So instead of obsessing, he decided to be productive and finish unpacking. He was halfway through the last bag when Stephanie knocked on the door.

"I'm really sorry about last night," Stephanie said. "I didn't know your…friend was going to be over."

"Don't worry about it," he said opening the door to let her in. "I've got some time now if you wanted to talk."

Stephanie followed him into the living room but didn't sit. She stood in front of his bookshelf and examined the contents. She'd been his neighbor for a while now, but they'd never been overly social. His invitation the Widows and Orphans' fundraiser had been spur of the moment when he'd seen her over Thanksgiving.

They had been talking out their respective holiday plans while at the gym and she mentioned having New Year's Eve free. Bouncing back and forth between New York and Chicago had put a damper on his dating life. Sure, he knew a few women he could call in a pinch, but Stephanie had seemed convenient at the time. Now that he was with Meg, Peter regretted that decision.

"So you said last night that something came up. I understand if you need to cancel," he said a little too eagerly.

"Oh, it's nothing so drastic. There's this thing at my office. It's over by six, so I can still meet you." She turned away from the photos of his family and friends, still holding the one with him and Megan on the sailboat. "That is, if you still want me to go. I've seen Megan around. I don't want to get in the middle of something."