Mistress (14 page)

My heart was starting to feel numb toward Jarrad. He made up for his mouth with a champagne colored BMW jeep sitting in my driveway four days later. Also, it was in my name only. I was busy with school and the hospital, while he was on the set. He used to say I was his lucky charm, but I felt jinxed. For the past three months, I’d been completing my residency at the office of the prestigious Dr. Nancy Norris. She chose me out of eighty applicants.

As I walked backed into the building after my lunch break, I dialed Ma’s number. I’d been calling her for two days straight and hadn’t received a return call or visit. It was nothing in particular I needed her for. I just wanted to hear her voice. Even though I was grown now and jumped out of the security nest, I still needed Ma.

I read my patients’ chart to see what conditions, infections, diseases, foul odors, and potential babies I’d be dealing with.

“One down and five more patients to go,” Dr. Norris said, filling out the previous patient’s chart.

“What’s the patient’s name?” I asked.

“Carol Philmore. Let me give you a heads up—She loves to talk.”

“My first talkative patient.” I snickered. “No problem. I’m sure I can handle this,” I replied while turning the doorknob.

“Hey, doc.” Ms. Philmore looked up from reading
Upscale
magazine.

“Hi. How are you doing this afternoon?” Dr. Norris asked.

“You know the usual. I’m in love once again finally with a man who’s got some money.” She pointed to me. “Who’s your new friend?”

“Hi, I’m Alexis. It’s nice to meet you.”

“She’s a fourth-year resident and will be with us for another eight weeks.”

“Is this going to take long? I’ve got to meet my special someone in two hours,” she said, admiring her manicured hands.

“No, it won’t. However, Alexis will be performing the Pap smear. I wanted to get your authorization first.”

“I don’t mind at all. It’s nice to see another black woman becoming a respected doctor. The gentleman I’m seeing, his daughter wants to be a doctor as well.”

“Why don’t you lay back so we can get started. Well, since you brought it up, tell us more about this prince charming.”

Dr. Norris checked Ms. Philmore’s breast for any lumps.

“I thought you would never ask. We’ve been seeing each other for about five months. Robert is sweet as blue cotton candy melting in your mouth. He is the CEO of the Chicken Shack.”

“My husband and the kids love their sweet potato pie,” Dr. Norris added.

“Yeah, it tastes even better with vanilla ice cream.”

I screamed at Ms. Philmore, “Whore,” and threw down the utensils in my hands.

“Excuse me. How dare you talk to me like that!” She sat up and clutched her gown.

“Alexis, what has gotten into you?” Dr. Norris demanded.

“You’ve been the one calling the house and hanging up. You stupid bitch, he’s married.”

“No, I haven’t been prank-calling anyone’s home. What’s it to you, anyway? That’s my business.” She tried to keep her gown from sliding off her shoulders.

“Stay away from him, or you’ll be making a special trip to the emergency room. I’ll cut you so bad, your own mother won’t be able to recognize you. By the way, my last name is Gibbs as well. A spitting image of my father,” I said, storming out.

I could hear Dr. Norris calling my name over and over again. I tuned out her voice. The only thing on my mind was to find Pop.

The speedometer read seventy-five the entire way to my parents’ house. Luckily, I didn’t get pulled over by a cop. A school bus was in my way. I passed it even though the bus driver put up the STOP sign. I didn’t care. I could hear her calling me every foul name. Road rage can get the best of us.

“How are you today?” Joe asked as I was approaching my parents’ house. He’d been our mailman for as long as my family lived in the house. He handed me the mail.

“Fine. Have a good day, Joe.” I didn’t have time for small talk. I slammed the door behind me.

Jason and Pop were in the living room watching
Remember the Titans.

I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“After all you put this family through, you’re still cheating on my mother?”

Jason almost choked on a piece of popcorn he was eating.

“Pop, is this true?” he asked.

Pop had a blank expression on his face.

“Before you even ask, I found out because your ho came in the doctor’s office I’m working at. Needless to say, she ran her mouth too much talking about how nice and sweet you are. What, you’re paying her bills now or something? She didn’t look as if she ever missed a manicure or pedicure appointment. How many others are there? Can I count the others with one or two hands? Speak. Say something. I’m ready to hear your excuse. Where’s Ma? I’m sure she would love to hear you found yet another friend,” I said, throwing Pop’s sandwich all over him.

“Baby girl, what I do is my business. This is between your mother and I. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone in this family. Your mother isn’t here.”

“Where is she?” Jason asked. “I thought you said she went away for a couple days with Ms. Barbara.”

“I don’t know. She knows all about Carol as well by hiring a private investigator to keep an eye on me.”

“You’re full of shit. You can’t even be discreet about it. All you care about is getting laid. I hate you!”

“Young lady, don’t speak to me like that. Now, I love your mother, and I pray we can work things out.” Pop extended his arms for a hug.

“Pop, she may not want to work things out with you anymore. You have put her through so much. Growing up not knowing if Ma was going to walk out on you was so stressful for me as a child. Save it. The only thing I wish is for Jason not to become a womanizer like you. I’m going to find my mother. I can’t just stand here and let you keep hurting her over and over again.”

“Alex, wait. Let me come with you,” Jason pleaded with me.

“All right. I’ll be in the car. Pop, don’t think about following me,” I said, tears coming down my eyes.

I was worried about Ma. If she already knew, why didn’t she tell me, instead of disappearing on us?

Jason and I rode in silence on our way to Grandma Helen’s house. The crisp autumn leaves were scattered all throughout the streets. Children were playing and following behind the sweet tunes of the ice cream truck. When I was a little one, the ice cream man would be the highlight of my day. Not only could I have an Eskimo pie, but a few pieces of Bazooka Joe bubble gum as well, if I was a good girl. Those were the days, and I didn’t have a care in the world.

As an adult, life wasn’t that simple anymore. I had a house, bills, a job, patients, a hospital that depended on me, and a man who didn’t belong to me.
Why am I continually putting myself through the turmoil with Jarrad? Why doesn’t Ma just leave Pop?
I never thought of this before, but maybe, just maybe, another man can make Ma happy and not cheat on her time after time. His apologies meant nothing to me anymore, going in one ear and out the other.

“Hey.” Grandma waved as she got the mail out her box.

Jason and I gave hugs and kisses to greet her. She smelled of sweet sugarbread cookies.

“Where’s Ma?” I asked, opening the screen door. “She’s in the kitchen.”

Ma was turning down the heat to medium low on the simmering gravy for the liver and onions.

“Looks like you found me.” She wiped her hand in an apron.

“Are you all right?” Jason asked as we both embraced her with hugs.

“I’m all right. I just needed to get away and clear my head. I missed you two and didn’t mean to have you worried. That’s why I didn’t call and let you know I was staying at your Grandma’s house for a while.”

“Did you know about the latest ho Pop has been shacking up with?”

“Yeah, honey, I’m afraid so.” She poured a cup of tea.

“What do you mean, latest ho? Pop can be extra flirtatious, but I don’t believe that he would intentionally cheat on Ma. He loves her. Why would he want to tear this family apart?” Jason asked.

“Boy, you’re in denial. I saw the woman with my own eyes.” I grabbed a packet of cocoa out of the cabinet.

“I have to admit this time he had me fooled. After a while, I began to get a gnawing pain in my stomach when your father would say he was going over his buddy Henry’s house. One day I decided to drive over there, and his car was nowhere to be found. My guard was down. I saw an ad in the newspaper for a local private investigator, Phillip Yankins. His services were at low cost. Not even a week after I hired him, he showed up with pictures of your father with Carol.” She shook her head.

I sat down at the table. “What are we going to do?”

“You mean what am I going to do? Alex, this is between your father and I. This must be hard on you two seeing us like this. Frankly, I’m tired of crying and beating down your father’s ass and the women that come and go. I’m all out of energy. I’m tired. I’m so tired.” She slammed her fists on the table, almost knocking over the sugar bowl.

“Ma, take it easy.” Jason held her hand. “You can work this out with him. Pop is going to have to stop seeing that woman, and we can get on with our lives.”

“Honey, it’s not that easy. At this point, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I love your father so much after all these years. All this time, he repeatedly kept cheating on me time and time again. Some affairs you don’t even know about, Alex.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. I wanted you to concentrate on school. A son or a daughter shouldn’t have to carry the burdens of a father on their shoulders.”

Ma held her hands together.

“I hate to see you like this,” I said, sobbing.

“I can’t stand it either. I thought Pop and you were so happy. He’s been cheating on you all of this time? Why?”

“I don’t know, but what I do know is I never ever want you to adopt his cheating ways. When you settle down with a special woman, treat her like the queen she is.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jason nodded his head.

Growing up, Jason didn’t hardly ever see my parents fight. After he was born, they would wait behind closed doors or take their bickering some place else.

Over the years, Pop let me get away with a lot of things to make up for guilt. He caused Ma and myself so much pain.

Grandma entered the kitchen. “Now you all stop all this crying. Look around in this room. I see nothing but love. Love can get us through any trials and tribulations. Robert is a good man and a good father, but he has a lot of shit with him. He’s hurting my baby and my baby’s babies with his mess.”

“Ooh.” I held my hand up to my mouth.

“What? You’ve never seen an old lady curse before? Hmm, you’ll be surprised what flies out of this mouth of mine.”

We busted out laughing.

“Stay for dinner or as long as you like. I’ve got plenty of room. Jason run to the store for me and get a box of brown and white rice. Here’s some money.”

“Sure, Grandma. I don’t need any money. I got this. Do you need anything else?” Jason asked, getting the car keys off the counter.

“No, baby, I’m fine. Alex, Viv, do you need anything from the store?” Grandma took a pan of cookies from the oven.

“No,” Ma and I both said.

“I’ll be back in a flash.” Jason rubbed his stomach and licked his lips. “The liver and onions smell so good.”

“Why don’t you invite Brenda over for dinner, son? Besides, I would like for her to meet your grandmother.”

“All right.” Jason nodded his head.

“Alex, I want to have a word with you.”

“Yes, Ma, I’m listening.”
I hope this isn’t about Jarrad. I don’t want to hear his name.

“I’m just going to get right down to the point—Jarrad is married.”

I backed away from the table. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid with me. Did you know all along?”

“Ma, I don’t want to deal with this right now. Pop has given me a big enough headache already,” I said, rubbing my temples. I looked into Grandma’s cabinet for a bottle of ibuprofen.

Thinking back, Jarrad has met Ma, Pop, and Jason, but I didn’t invited him to a lot of family functions because he was married. If some of my other family members ever found out, they would’ve torn into him like fresh meat.

“I saw an article this month featuring Jarrad in
Entrepreneur
with his wife and two children.”

“I already knew about the magazine spread. Jarrad did it because she begged him to. He didn’t want to strike a pose for the camera. He and his wife are separating.”

“Separating, my ass. He’s been married to her for eighteen years. I must say, I’m disappointed in your poor judgment of men. You’ve seen what I’ve been through with your father all these years and you pick up a married man? I don’t understand. You’re a beautiful girl who could have any man your heart desires.”

“I didn’t know at first. He told me a year into the relationship.”

“Baby, I know you love him, but I don’t see a future with this man. Hopefully, in time, you’ll see a real future with someone else. Don’t you get tired of always looking over your shoulder and late-night creeps? If you stay any longer, you could miss out on your blessings of a good man. I’m sure a few already came your way.”

“You’re probably right. It’s so hard to leave him. We’ve been through so much together. Letting go isn’t the easiest thing to do.”

“Two years you have poured your sweat and tears into it. I cannot hold you back from loving anyone, but I had to say my piece. You deserve a man that you don’t have to share or give ultimatums to leave his wife.”

“Ma, I know. Lately, I’ve been thinking long and hard about it. I can’t go on this way. It’s killing me inside,” I said, tears in my eyes.

“I never told you this, but I fooled around with a married man. It was a year prior to me meeting your father. The affair lasted for two months. I couldn’t continue on with it any longer.”

“How did you find out?”

“I was a cashier at the department store, Thalhimer’s. His wife came to my register to get ringed up. She was buying a new dress to go out for their anniversary. My heart dropped when I saw the check with both of their names on it. You see, Alex, I wasn’t willing to settle to be number two or three.”

“I was afraid to tell you Jarrad is married. Every month, he keeps promising to leave her.”

“Month after month, he doesn’t leave her. Rest assured, if you two are meant to be together, you will be together.”

I called in sick and stayed at Grandma’s house for the following two days. I’d eaten better here than at my house for the past two weeks. Food nourishes the soul as well as the body. I told Ma everything about Jarrad and I, even the abortions. She wasn’t too thrilled to know about two different occasions. It felt good to have someone listen to my thoughts and feelings. I needed to get it out. Three generations of women sat on the porch and reminisced about the past. Now I needed to take control of my future.

* * *

I turned the key to enter into his apartment. Jarrad had been staying for a month, picking and choosing which one of us he wanted to be with for the night. I took a deep breath.
I don’t know if I can do this.
I closed my eyes. “Lord, please give me the strength to do it.”

“Where have you been?” Jarrad gently grabbed my hand to bring me in.

“I needed to disappear for a couple of days to get rest. I went to my grandmother’s house.”

“How is she doing?” he asked, giving me a kiss on my cheek.

“She’s fine. Her garden is harvesting. She’s excited about those fresh fruits and vegetables.”

“I know those apples were picked right off the tree for the pie she made us last month. I have good news. The show got picked up for another season.”

“That’s wonderful. Since you’re headed to the kitchen, could you get me a glass of water please?”

“Sure, baby. Sit down. What’s wrong? Something isn’t right here. Is this about the baby?” Jarrad rubbed my shoulder. “I said I wanted you to keep this one.”

“You say a lot of things, but don’t come through with your word. I’m not staying long because I need to catch up on homework and chapter readings.” I brushed his hand away.

“Don’t be so feisty tonight. I get at least the next eight hours to make sweet passionate love to you. I want to be in-between those thighs in the next ten minutes,” he said, rubbing his finger down my cheek.

“Listen, I can’t do this anymore.”

“After everything that I’ve done for you, treating me like old trash. Helping put you through medical school and buying a house for you isn’t cheap.” Jarrad held my arm with a tight grip.

“I didn’t ask you to do those things for me. The money and the house were gifts,” I said, snatching back my arm.

“Well, I should see whether my so-called gifts to the tune of six hundred thousand dollars will hold up in Judge Joe’s courtroom.”

“Do what you need to do. The title is in my name only. You and I both know the truth.”

“Ahh, not this again. I told you Tina and I are going to separate possibly by this summer. If you would just hold on for a little while longer, I’ll be getting divorced and we, my darling, can have the life we’ve always wanted and dreamed about. Be a team player and stop making fouls,” he declared, caressing my cheek.

“Don’t compare our relationship to sports. It’s been two years going on forever and I’m tired of waiting. Listen to yourself, using the word
possibly
. I can’t accept
possibly
. What kills me is I had to give you an ultimatum to even
possibly
get separated from her. I shouldn’t have to give you one. You should want to be with me point-blank, period. I don’t want to have to wonder in the back of my mind if you’re with me because I made you make a decision.”

“Baby, I love you. Don’t do this to me now. This is mid season. I get enough stress from work. You’re supposed to be my stress reliever.”

“Let me make your life a little easier because I’m damn sure going to make mine easy. It’s over. I want something better than this, and I’m going to get it.”

“What’s better than what we have?”

“A man who loves me and only me. A man who I don’t have to share. You can deny it all you want. I know you’re still sleeping with her.”

“Don’t question what I do or did with my own wife.”

“I’m outta here.” I threw my hands up in the air.

“Don’t go. I need you . . . please. I love you baby with all my heart.”

“No. I think you mean a third of your heart.”

Jarrad unzipped my jeans. His hands found their way to my breasts, and his lips were kissing my neck. He had me pinned up against the refrigerator. Thomas’s tongue began to suckle my clitoris. My body was getting lost into the fixation of a lie that I’d believed far too long.

“Stop it.”

“You don’t want me to stop,” he stated, spreading my legs even farther.

I didn’t want him to stop, but it had to end.

“Let me go.”

“No. You’ll always be mine. I run this pussy.”

“Stop it,” I yelled, punching him in the face.

As he fell back on the floor, I managed to zip my jeans back up and grab my purse and keys from off the counter.

As I ran to the car, he screamed, “You’ll be back.”

As I pulled into to my driveway, I wept for hours. After two years, I finally had to let go.