Mistletoe Magic (6 page)

Panic made her careless. ‘I want to buy a kiss from you.’ Blurted out with all the finesse of a ten-year-old.

‘You what…?’

‘Buy a kiss from you…’ Her hands shook as she
rummaged through her bag, trying to extricate the notes she had got from the bank that very morning.

When she finally managed it he swore, and not quietly.

‘Shh, they might hear.’

‘Who might hear? Your father? Your cousin? Someone has already had one go at me this week and I would be loathe to let them have another one.’

‘Someone did that to you?’ Goodness, she had lost hold of the whole conversation and could not even think how to retrieve it.

With honesty!

Taking a breath, she buried vanity. ‘I am a twenty-five-year-old spinster, Mr Clairmont, and a woman who has been kissed only once, yesterday, by Lord Wilcox-Rice. And I need to know if what I felt was…normal.’

‘What the hell did you feel?’

She drew herself up to her tallest height, a feat that was not so intimidating given that she stood at merely five foot two, even in her shoes.

‘I felt nothing!’

The words reverberated in the ensuing silence, his anger evaporating in an instant to be replaced by laughter.

‘I realise to you that the whole thing may seem like a joke, but…’

He breathed out. Hard.

‘Nay, it is not that, Lilly, it is not that.’ She felt his hand against her cheek, a single finger stroking down the bone, a careful feather-touch with all the weight of air.

A touch that made her shiver and want, a touch that made her move towards this thing she wished for, and then vanishing as a sound came from outside in the corridor.

Luc Clairmont moved back too, towards the window, his body faced away from hers and his hand adjusting the fit of his trousers. Perhaps he was angry again? Perhaps on reflection he saw the complete and utter disregard of convention that her request had subjected him to?

She smiled wanly as a young maid entered the room and bade her leave the tea for them to pour. Question shadowed the girl’s eyes and Lillian knew that she was fast running out of minutes. It was simply not done for an unmarried lady to be sequestered alone for any length of time with a man.

At twenty-five some leeway might have been allowed, but she knew that he would need to leave before too many more seconds had passed.

Consequently when the door shut behind the servant she walked across to him.

‘I do not wish to hurry you, but—’

He did not let her finish. The hard ardour of his lips slanted across her own, opening her mouth. Rough hands framed her cheeks as the length of his body pressed against hers, asking, needing, allowing no mealy response, but the one given from the place she had hidden for so, so long.

Feeling exploded, the sharp beat of her heart, the
growing warmth in her stomach, the throb of lust that ached in a region lower. As she pressed closer her hands threaded through his hair, and into the nape of his neck, moving without her volition, with a complete lack of control.

He was not gentle, not careful, the feel of his lips on her mouth, on her cheek and on the sensitive skin at her neck unrestrained.

And then stopped!

She tried to keep it going, tipping her mouth to his, but he pulled her head against his chest and held her there, against a heartbeat that sped in heavy rhythm.

‘This is not the place, Lilly…’

Reality returned, the yellow salon once again around her, the sound of servants outside, the tea on the table with its small plume of steam waiting to be drunk.

She pushed away, a new danger now in the room and much more potent than the one that had bothered her before.

Before she had been worried about his actions and now she was worried about her own, for in that kiss something had been unleashed, some wild freedom that could now not be contained.

Lucas Clairmont placed her letter on the table and gathered his hat. ‘Miss Davenport,’ he said and walked from the room.

Lord, he thought on the journey between Pall Mall and his lodgings. He should not have kissed her, not
allowed her confession of feeling ‘nothing’ with Wilcox-Rice to sway his resolve.

And now where did it leave him? With a hankering for more and a woman who would hate him.

He should have stayed, should have reassured her, should have at least had the decency to admit the whole thing as his fault before he had walked out.

But she had captivated him with her pale elegance and honesty and with the fumbled bank notes pushed uncertainly at him.

To even think that she would pay him?

Absolute incredulity replaced irritation and that in turn was replaced by something…more akin to respect.

She was the one all others aspired to be like, the pinnacle of manners and deportment and it could not have been easy for her to have even asked him what she did. Hell, she had a hundred times more to lose than he, with his passage to Virginia looming near and a reputation that no amount of bad behaviour could lower.

Why on earth, then, had she picked him? She must have weighed up the odds as to what he could do with such information, the pressures of society here like a sledgehammer against any deviation from the strict codes of manners.

Why had she risked it?

The answer came easily. She did so because she was desperate, desperate to discover if what she felt for Wilcox-Rice was normal and hopeful that it was not.

Well, he thought, with the first glimmer of humour coming back. At least she had found out that!

Lillian threw herself on her bed and took the breath she had hardly taken since Lucas Clairmont had left the house.

He had been angry, the notes she had tried to give him in her fist, a coarse message of intent and failure. She rolled over and peeled each one away from the other.

Two hundred pounds! And if he had taken them it would have been worth every single penny. Turning, she looked at the ceiling, reliving each second of that kiss, her fingers reaching for the places his had been and then falling lower.

What if he had not stopped? What if he had not pulled back when he did? Would she have come to her senses? Honesty forced her to admit she would not have and the admission cost her much.

‘If you aren’t careful you will be your mother all over again, Lillian.’
Her father’s voice from the past, a warning to her as her mother lay dying, the words uttered in a despair of melancholy and sorrow. She had been thirteen and the fashions of the day had begun to be appealing, the chance to experiment and change. She blinked.

Had such advice altered the person she might have become? Was she changing back?

She shook her head and lay still, closing her eyes against the light.

The knock on the door woke her and for a second she could not work out quite where she was, for seldom did she doze in the afternoon.

Her bedroom. Lucas Clairmont. The kiss. Reality surfaced and with it a rising dread.

‘You have some flowers, Miss.’

A maid came in with a large unruly bunch of orange flowers and her breath was caught. ‘Is there a card?’

‘Indeed, miss, there is.’ The maid broke the envelope away from a string that kept it joined to the bouquet, speculation unhidden in the lines of her face.

‘That will be all, thank you,’ Lillian said, waiting until the door was shut before she slit open the card.

I FELT SOMETHING

The words were in bold capitals with no name attached.

Without meaning to, Lillian began to cry—in those three words Luc Clairmont had given her back the one thing she had not thought it possible to regain.

Her pride.

Holding the flowers close to her breast, her tears fell freely across the fragrant orange petals.

‘M
r Clairmont from America was at the club as a guest of Hawkhurst today.’ The tone in her father’s voice told her that he was not pleased. ‘The man is a scoundrel and a gambler. Why he even continues to receive invitation from people we know confounds me.’

‘And yet he seemed such a nice young man when he came to ask you to dance, Lillian, at the Cholmondely ball. How very misleading first impressions can be,’ her aunt said.

‘You have danced with this American?’ Her father’s heavy frown made her heart sink.

Danced. Touched. Kissed.

‘I have, Father. He asked for my hand in a waltz.’

‘And you did not turn him down? Surely you could see what sort of a fellow he was.’

‘Men like him pounce quickly on the unsuspecting,
Ernest. It is no point in chastising Lillian, for she is blameless in it all.’

Blameless?

The bunch of orange blooms still stood by her bed, carefully tended and watered daily, but she had not seen him again, not in the park, not at the parties, not in the streets as she walked each day.

‘St Auburn is a particular friend of Clairmont’s, is he not?’

Jean shrugged her shoulders. ‘I do not know the man personally. Daniel could probably tell you much more about him.’

Lillian looked more closely at her aunt, trying to ascertain whether she knew of the wayward pursuits of her son and deciding in the smile she returned her that she probably did not.

‘I ask the question,’ her father continued, ‘because an invitation came for you yesterday, Lillian, to attend a country party of the Earl and Lady St Auburn in Kent and I should not wish for you to go should the American be there.’ He sipped at his tea, fiddling with a pair of spectacles he held in his right hand.

‘When would the party be held, Father?’ She tried to keep her voice as neutral as she could.

‘It would run from this Friday to Sunday. If you were interested, perhaps Wilcox-Rice could take you?’

‘Indeed.’ She bit into her toast and honey.

‘So you are saying that you would go?’

‘Lady St Auburn is a friend of mine. I should like to catch up with her news.’

‘Would you be able to travel down too, Jean? Lillian can hardly go unchaperoned.’

Her aunt sighed heavily, but accepted the responsibility, giving the impression of a woman who would have preferred to be saying no.

The house was beautiful, a six-columned Georgian mansion, the grounds as well manicured and fine as she had visited anywhere.

They were late. She could see that as they swept up the circular driveway, a crowd of people in a glass conservatory to the left of the house. From this distance she could not be sure that Lucas Clairmont was amongst them, but John Wilcox-Rice at her side did not look happy.

‘I cannot imagine why you should want to come to this party, Lillian. The set St Auburn hangs with are a little wild and if he did not have so much in the way of property and gold I doubt he would be so feted. Besides, the man always seems slightly unrestrained to me.’

‘Cassandra is Mrs Weatherby’s youngest sister, John, and I have a lot of fondness for her.’

‘Then you should have seen her in the city.’

‘But Kent is lovely at this time of the year. Surely you would at least say that?’

Jean stretched suddenly, waking as the carriage slowed and stopped.

‘Goodness. Are we here already? The roads south get quicker and quicker. Perhaps we should persuade your father to acquire a property here rather than in Hertford
shire, Lillian, for it is so much more convenient for London.’ She looked out of the window at the sky. ‘Have you ever seen such a clear horizon, none of the yellow smog on show?’

A group of servants milled around the coach, waiting for the party to alight, the younger boys already hauling the luggage off and listening for instructions as to where it should be taken.

The Davenport family seat of Fairley Manor came to Lillian’s mind as she saw the precision and order that accompanied their arrival. The housekeeper bowed and presented herself and the head butler was most attentive to any needs that the small group might have.

Wilcox-Rice in particular was rather grumpy, barely acknowledging the efforts of the St Auburn servants to please. He did not even want to be here, he mumbled under his breath, and Lilly wondered why she had not seen this rather irritating trait in his nature before.

But with the sun in her face and the promise of a whole weekend before her, she felt buoyed up with hope. She had pressed one of her orange flowers in a book in her travel bag to be able to show Lucas Clairmont, for she knew flowers in this season would have cost him a fortune that he did not possess and she wanted him to know, at least, that she had appreciated the gesture.

‘Lillian!’ Her name was called and she turned to see who summoned her. Cassandra St Auburn walked towards her, her bright red hair aflame and the sweetness in her face all that Lillian remembered.

‘You came! I thought perhaps that you would not.’

‘Indeed, it is such a lovely spot I should be loathe to miss out. Lady St Auburn, this is Lord Wilcox-Rice. It was noted on my invitation that I could bring a partner.’

‘Yes, of course.’ Cassie shook the outstretched hand and Lillian detected disquiet. ‘But I thought your aunt was coming…’

‘Here I am, my dear, a little late to alight, but the bones are not quite as they used to be.’ Jean thanked the servant who had helped her and turned to the house. ‘I was here when I was about your age with Leonard St Auburn.’

‘My husband’s grandfather. He is still here, though he spends much of his day now in the library.’

‘A well-read man, if I remember rightly. Very interested in the world of plants.’

Cassandra laughed and Lillian liked the sound. A happy and uncomplicated girl! Sometimes she wished she could have been more like that.

‘Most of the party are in the conservatory,’ she continued on. ‘Would you join us there after you refresh yourselves?’

‘That would be lovely,’ Lillian answered as they were ushered inside, the quickened beat of her heart steadying a little as they mounted the staircase.

Twenty minutes later they walked towards the group of guests standing around a table well stocked with food and drink.

Lucas Clairmont was nowhere in sight and part of her was annoyed that she could not have met him here informally. The Earl of St Auburn, Nathaniel, came over to join his wife. He had once rather liked her, Lillian recalled, when she had first come out, though it was such a long time ago she doubted he would remember it.

‘Miss Davenport!’ His smile was welcoming. ‘And Lord Wilcox-Rice.’ Her Aunt Jean had elected not to come downstairs, but have a rest so that she would be refreshed for dinner. ‘We are very pleased that you could both make the journey.’

He placed a strange emphasis on ‘both’ and Lillian saw a quick frown pass between the St Auburns, an unspoken warning from Cassandra, she thought were she to interpret it further. Did they already perceive her and John as a couple? She swallowed back worry.

‘You have a large number of people here. Do you expect any more?’ Her mind raced. If Lucas Clairmont did not come after sending her the invitation she would never forgive him!

‘A few of the neighbours will come tonight for dinner and Mr Clairmont will bring Lady Shelby down from London.’

‘Caroline Shelby?’ John’s voice had the same ring of masculine appreciation that she had heard in the tone of each man who had discussed the newest beauty on the London scene.

‘She couldn’t leave town any earlier so Nat asked his friend to wait and escort her.’

Lillian felt the muscles in her cheeks shake, so tight did she try to hold her smile. If Clairmont had invited her here to flirt in front of someone else…Lord, the whole weekend would be untenable and she wondered how she might return to London without causing conjecture.

No. Her resolve firmed—she would not turn tail and disappear. For five days now she had been walking on eggshells at every single social occasion just in case she should see him, her words rehearsed so as to deliver the nonchalant greeting she wanted.

She needed to thank him for the flowers and move on to the next part of her life, and if memory served her well she knew him to be off to America in merely a few weeks’ time.

Luc waited as the girl gathered her shawl and minced to the carriage. Her chaperon, a woman in her mid-forties, followed behind her. Lord, would they ever be ready to go? He looked at his watch and determined that Lillian Davenport should have already arrived in Kent.

Would Nathaniel have told her of the reason for his lateness?

Caroline Shelby placed her hand in his as she gained the carriage steps and kept it there long after the need lapsed. Extracting his fingers, he put his hands firmly by his side, sitting on the seat opposite from the two women and looking out of the window.

‘It should take an hour,’ he said with as little emotion as he could muster.

Caroline giggled, the sound filling the carriage. ‘They say the St Auburns have a beautiful house?’

‘Indeed they do.’

‘They say if you rode from one end of the estate to the other it may take all of a day.’

‘It may.’

The echo of Virginia loomed large. To go from one end of his property to the other would take a week and he missed it with an ache that surprised him.

‘I should love to see it on horseback. Do you ride?’

He nodded, hoping she did not see this affirmation as an invitation.

‘Then we must find some horses and venture out,’ she replied and his heart sank at the sentence.

‘I have some business with the Earl—’ he began but she interrupted him.

‘But you could find an hour or so for a lady who has asked you?’ Her hand closed over his and the chaperon looked away.

‘Certainly.’ Luc resolved to make a large party of this sojourn even as he removed his fingers yet again from hers.

Forty-eight long minutes later the St Auburns’ country seat came into view and the woman who sat next to Lady Shelby finally seemed to deem it time to haul the antics of her young charge in.

‘Your hat is a little crooked, dear,’ she said, deft
fingers straightening the bonnet that had come askew when she had fallen forwards against him on one of the more rutted sections of the road. ‘And you really ought to replace your gloves.’

The sight of the house as they swept on to the circular drive was welcome and it seemed as if many of the houseguests still languished in the glassed-in conservatory, enjoying the last rays of the sun. He easily picked out Lillian, her pale hair entwined today into one single bunch, simple and elegant and the white gown complimenting her figure. She had not seen him, but was talking to Cassandra and next to her stood…John Wilcox-Rice.

‘Damn.’ He swore beneath his breath, glad for the chance to vacate the carriage and escape the company of the irritating Lady Shelby and her dour chaperon.

Nathaniel met him first. ‘Wilcox-Rice is here.’ A warning flinted strong.

‘I saw him.’

‘Should I stand between you?’

‘To keep the peace, you mean?’

‘He is rumoured to have offered for her hand. If you mean to pursue that gleam I can see in your eyes…’

‘Have patience, Nat. Any protection that you feel the need to give me will be relinquished in a few weeks.’

‘You think that you’ll be on that boat?’ A strange smile filled the eyes of his friend.

‘Of course I will be. My passage is booked and paid for. There is nothing to hold me here.’

‘Or no one?’

Luc laughed suddenly, seeing where it was Nathaniel was going with this line of question. ‘I tried marriage once.’ His words were bleak and he hated the tightness in them.

‘Elizabeth was a woman who would drive anyone to the bottle. God knows why you still wear her damn ring.’

Luc felt a singular shot of fury consume him. ‘I wear it because it reminds me.’

‘Reminds you of what?’

‘Never to make the same mistake twice.’ He grabbed a drink of fruit punch from the table as he moved away.

Lillian turned as Lucas Clairmont downed a large glass of punch, the lot hardly touching his throat before he helped himself to another.

He looked angry and she could not quite reconcile this man with the one who had sent her flowers and kept silent about a scandal that could easily ruin her. The bruising around his eye was largely gone and the velvet of his dangerous glance made her wary and uncertain. Caroline Shelby seemed bent on following him and Lillian could well see why she had been often named as the most beautiful girl of her Season. Wilcox-Rice beside her laid his hand beneath Lillian’s elbow in a singular message of claim and she saw Clairmont take in the movement.

Caught between convention and other people’s expectations, she could do nothing save for smile, her practised speech of thanks buried under the weight of a careful control.

‘Miss Davenport.’ When she gave him her hand he held it briefly. The warmth of his skin made her start with the recognition of his touch.

‘Mr Clairmont. It is nice to see you once again.’

He dropped contact almost immediately.

‘You two know each other?’ Cassandra was astonished.

‘A little.’ Her words.

‘Not well.’ His.

Cassie’s giggles drew the attention of Caroline Shelby as she gained their small circle.

‘What a lovely party! I knew I should have left London earlier. If it had not been for you, Mr Clairmont, I should not even be here by now. I hope that I have not missed too much, for you all seem very festive.’

‘I am certain you are quite in time, Lady Shelby,’ Lillian returned.

‘Miss Davenport. How wonderful that you should be here. I have long admired your sense of style and bearing and your dress—’ she gestured to the white moiré silk ‘—why, it is just so beautiful.’

‘Thank you.’

‘My friend Eloise says you have your clothes made in England, but I think that cannot be true as the cut and cloth is just too wonderful and I said to my mother the other day that we should ask you about your seamstress and use her ourselves because…’