Mistletoe & Kisses (18 page)

Chapter Seven

Tanner

THE THOUGHT THAT the woman standing next to me was now my wife was an adrenaline high like no other. Marriage wasn’t something I’d thought about all through my twenties, but with Danielle I could think of little else. The best part of it all was that she was now officially mine.

We were mingling around, waiting for the DJ to play the first dance. After my success with the choice of house, Danielle wanted me to pick the song for our first dance. She wanted to be surprised. There was only one song that would ever sum up my love for Danielle. A few minutes later the DJ called us to the middle of the dance floor. Taking Danielle into my arms, I began to move as the smooth sounds of a piano filled the room. When John Legend’s voice came through the speakers singing
All of Me,
tears filled her eyes.

“I love this song.”

“I know you do. There isn’t a part of me that doesn’t love you more and more each day.”

“I love you so much. There is nothing that could make this day more perfect.”

“Anything to make you happy.”

“This has been the happiest day of my life.”

We finished the dance with a kiss that drew cheers from the crowd. We spent the next few hours dancing and talking with our family and friends, spending very little time together. But that didn’t matter—we had the rest of our lives together. The whole night flew by and before I knew it, it was time to cut the cake and get ready to leave for our honeymoon. There was no way the Danielle wasn’t going to smash that cake all over my face.

My theory? Get her first.

But Danielle was faster than I thought. The second the cake was placed in our hands, she smeared it all over my face. I got a little bit on her, but she jumped out of the way faster than I expected her to. The room was filled with laughter as we cleaned ourselves off with the towels the staff had handed to us and made our way around the room to say our goodbyes. We were staying in a hotel near the airport so that we’d be closer for our flight in the morning.

While the day was one I would never forget, all I could focus on was getting Danielle out of her dress. It took about a half an hour, but we finally made our way around the room and were headed in the direction of the door, Danielle’s car already pulled up out front. There were streamers and cans hanging from the car, the windows covered in painted letters. It seemed like such a nice gesture from the guys, well, that was until I sat down in the driver’s seat and grabbed a hold of the gear shift. Disgusting. My hand was covered with the lubricant of the condom that was wrapped around the gear shifter. I just had to hope that we didn’t miss anymore that might be floating around the car.

Danielle climbed in the car and looked over at the steering wheel. “Is that what I think it is?”

“I’d love to tell you no, but yes, it is.”

“How gross can they be?’

“Pretty gross.” I grabbed a tissue from the glove box and pulled the condom off, wiping the handle at the same time. “Let’s not worry about it and, instead, think of all the fun we’re going to have when we get to the hotel.”

“Mmm . . . I’m going to let my imagination wander for a bit.”

The ride to the hotel room was easy. Waiting in the hotel for the receptionist to finish our check-in . . . not so much. Standing there, I felt the need to have my hands somewhere on her. It wasn’t possessive. It was a desire to see her with that dress off. Lightly, I ran my hand along her side, waiting for a reaction. When none came, I moved my hand upward to lightly caress under her breast. By the time we were done and getting off the elevator, it felt like desire was searing my veins. I needed Danielle and I was going to have her, but first I was going to drive her crazy, like she’d done all day, looking positively gorgeous in her dress.

The moment we walked through the door, my lips were on hers, possessive in their need to consume every inch of her gorgeous body.

“Dani, I need you so badly.”

Her hands slid up my chest into my hair. “I’m all yours.”

The dress made it difficult but I managed to lift her up, helping her to wrap her legs around my waist before carrying her into the bedroom, enjoying the feel of her as she slid down my body to place her feet on the floor. I brought my mouth back down on hers at the same time my hand searched for the zipper in the back of the dress. Without wasting a moment I slid it down, letting the strapless gown fall to the floor, the delicate fabric pooling around her feet.

I sucked in a breath at the sight that stood before me. In her wedding dress she was gorgeous, but in the lingerie and heels, she was true temptation. Something that I was definitely going to explore.

“I think you have too many clothes on.” She unbuttoned my jacket and slid it off my shoulders.

“Yes, but it is my turn to explore you.” Lowering her to the bed, I slipped my hands down her legs until they reached her shoes. I pulled them off and tossed them in the direction of my jacket. Next to go were here stockings and underwear. Wanting to tease all of her, I started at the base of her foot, moving slowly up her body until I reached her core, where I tasted the sweetest flavor on earth. In my efforts to drive her mad, I blew lightly against her skin, sending tremors through her body. The way her body reacted to my touch was the strongest aphrodisiac. Needing to feel every inch of her, I slid my hands around her back and unhooked her bra. She was a sight to behold.

Mustering what little restraint I could, I continued to kiss my way up her body until my lips closed around the pert nipples that were calling me, flicking back and forth with my tongue as her back arched off the bed.

“Oh God, Tanner, please don’t make me wait any longer.”

Taking my time, I moved to her other breast, laving it, giving it the same attention. All the while, I used my fingers to graze along her clit and slowly sink inside her. Her head thrashed fitfully on the pillows as I moved my fingers in and out of her body. There were moans and whimpers coming from her, and I was rock hard, unsure how much longer I could hold off. Speeding up the thrusts of my fingers, I used my thumb to circle her clit, bringing her over in seconds. While she lay there panting, trying to catch her breath, I shed the rest of my uniform.

Step by step, I moved until my body covered hers. No sooner had my lips touched hers, did I slide right into her. Her body was just too tempting.

“Oh God, you feel so good, sweetheart. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

Her hand slid down my back to cup my ass cheeks, practically forcing me to move.

“You better not. Now please,
move
.”

The begging, combined with the slight whimper of her voice, was too much for me to handle as with slow, powerful thrusts I took control of her body, doing what I’d longed to do since the moment she stepped into view at the chapel. Her body sucked me in, making me crazy with need. Each stroke brought me closer to the edge. When she lifted her hips to meet each plunge, I was done. Tingles raced down my spine, my thrusts becoming more and more erratic until finally I crashed, taking Danielle with me.

Completely spent, I collapsed to the side, not wanting to crush her with my weight. After a few moments, when I was able to breathe normally, I flipped over onto my back and pulled her in close.

“That was amazing Mrs. Marano.”

“I’d have to agree, Mr. Marano.”

Dragging the sheet up to cover us, I figured I could deal with my uniform in the morning. For now, all I wanted to do was hold my wife in my arms.

“Thank you for an absolutely perfect day,” she whispered against my chest, her voice thick with sleep.

“Anything for you, my love.” I kissed her on the head. “Now go to sleep. We have an early flight in the morning.”

The sound of her deep, even breaths let me know that she’d fallen asleep almost instantly. Reveling in the sheer joy of the day, I closed my eyes and let myself doze off that way I could get some sleep before our flight.

* * *

Our flight left extremely early the next morning, taking us to a place where there were no worries, only memories. We spent the days on the beach with waiters bringing us our drinks, and the nights wrapped up in each other’s arms.

But all too soon, the week had come to an end and it was time to return to reality. Neither of us were looking forward to it, since I’d been warned when my leave was granted that upon my return we’d be in deployment mode. That meant overnight field trainings and late night hours, all the while trying to squeeze in together as much time as possible. Three months wasn’t a long time to be away, but that wasn’t going to stop me from taking this opportunity to make a ton of memories to take with me.

Chapter Eight

Danielle

WE’D RETURNED FROM our honeymoon and it wasn’t any fun going back to real life, especially with Tanner switching into a field training rotation. It meant he would be deployed soon, not something I was looking forward to, but knew it was part of his job. It was something I was going to have to deal with. He’d come home safe last time, and I just had to keep faith that he would return safely to me again.

To keep my mind off of his eventual deployment, I was trying to keep my routine as normal as possible, and with Tanner on the range for a few days at a time it was more important than ever. I started with all of the appointments and paperwork I’d put off over the last few months to move into the house and plan the wedding. Some of them were doctor’s appointment, while others were simple things like getting my hair trimmed. For most of the appointments, I was months overdue. Then again, I still had to fill out all of the paperwork, officially changing my name and becoming Tanner’s next of kin.

For two weeks straight, every time he was out in the field, I used that time to get it all done. This way when he came back we would have that time together. Once I’d completed all of those, it was time to the last one. The one I’d been avoiding.

It was that time of year again. Every woman’s least favorite appointment of the year. The OB-GYN. It was one of those appointments you couldn’t miss, no matter how much you hated it, you went anyway. Although you tried to avoid it as long as possible.

Sitting in the waiting room, I flipped through the magazines on the table, trying not to look at my phone. Tanner had been on the range for two days. When he left he wasn’t sure if it would be a three or four day stay. Knowing I’d worry, even though they were still on base, he’d promised to call me the minute they got back to the barracks. The problem? I was making myself crazy looking at my phone every ten minutes. To avoid it for a little while, anyway, I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t look at my phone the entire time I was there.

The longer I sat there, though, the harder it was to ignore my phone. Just as I was about to reach for it, the nurse came in and called me back. I got dressed in that stupid paper gown, which was definitely worse than what you were forced to wear in the hospital. A few drops of water and you’d have a wet T-shirt contest, right there in the doctor’s office.

There was a soft knock on the door. “Congratulations! I hear we are changing your name on all of your paperwork,” the doctor said as she walked in the door.

I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. It felt good to be offered congratulations instead of condolences. “Thank you. Yes we are.”

Dr. Reese was the reason I’d been going to that office for the last ten years. She always found a way to make the whole ordeal a little less awkward. Keeping the uncomfortable silence out of the room, she kept up a conversation without breaking stride in what she was doing.

“Tell me about your new husband. The last time you were here, you were still single, everything must have happened pretty quickly.”

“Yeah, Tanner was kind of a whirlwind. We met last summer and got married two weeks ago.”

“Two weeks ago? Then, what are you doing here?”

I laughed. “He’s working, so I’m getting all of these appointments out of the way, then when he has free time we can spend it together.”

“That’s wonderful. Tell me how you two met.”

The whole time she was taking her tests, I told her how we met and the events leading up to the wedding. In the middle of completing her exam, her head snapped up to look at me.

“That can’t be right,” she muttered under her breath.

“What can’t be right?” I asked, making it clear that I wanted to know what was going on. The tone of her voice caught me off-guard, and it was starting to make me very nervous.

Without answering me, she continued to speak to herself as she looked at my chart and then logged onto the computer to find the answer she was looking for. Flipping through the pages in my folder, I noticed that Dr. Reese continued to look back and forth between me and my chart. Finally she put my chart down and stepped up to press down on my abdomen, feeling around in different places. After a few moments she stopped and looked up at me. She looked like she wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure exactly how to phrase it.

“Danielle, there’s something in your tests that you need to know about.”

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as worry spread. “What’s wrong?”

The trembling of my hands was too hard to control so I opted to hide them. These were the times I needed Tanner to keep my overactive imagination under control. He knew how to ground me and keep me calm when my rational mind didn’t work.

“Well, I noticed you told the nurse that you are still taking birth control. It must have—”

“Oh God, it gave me some kind of disease, didn’t it? What is it?”

“No, you don’t have a disease.” Ripping off her gloves, she held onto my hand. “Danielle, you’re pregnant.”

Time froze.

There had to be something wrong with my hearing. There was no way what just came out of her mouth could possibly be true. I was on birth control. It wasn’t like I was taking it antibiotics, which could have reduced their effectiveness. That was a rule I always paid attention to.

“That can’t be right, I’m on the pill.” I said, grasping at straws.

The smile she gave me was one to comfort me, but I felt my breathing starting to speed up. “I know you are, but remember it’s only ninety-nine percent effective. Something as simple as taking it different times throughout the day can reduce the effectiveness. At this point I’m going to need you to stop taking the birth control and instead I’m going to write you a prescription for some prenatal vitamins.”

“Oh God.”

I’d been taking it at all times during the day, figuring as long as I took it that I’d be fine. This was not what I was expecting. The even bigger question was how I was going to tell Tanner. He’d wanted to wait to have kids, and because of my mistake that was no longer going to be the case. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I couldn’t get a deep breath. The spinning in my head was making hard to focus.

“Danielle, I know this is a shock, but everything will be fine. I need you to take a deep breath and let it out again.”

I tried following her directions, sucking in a deep breath of air and letting it out slowly. All the while Dr. Reese was holding my hand. It took a few moments, but eventually I was able to drag enough air into my lungs that my breathing returned to normal. Once I had calmed down, Dr. Reese looked at me.

“I don’t want you driving home by yourself. Can we get a hold of Tanner to pick you up?”

I shook my head, my mind still swirling in circles over the new reality I was faced with. “No, he’s on range training.” It wasn’t like I wanted to call Tanner anyway. How was I supposed to tell him? This was going to change all of the plans we had. That was something I could worry about later. At that moment I needed to think of someone who could pick me up. Dr. Reese was right: I was in no condition to drive. My body was a complete frenzy of emotions.

“I can call my friend Marissa,” I offered.

“Okay. You make the call then get dressed. I’ll take you to my office to wait and maybe talk some more.”

Marissa answered on the first ring and agreed to pick me up, but she wanted to know why. I promised to tell her when she arrived. She only worked about five minutes away from the doctor’s office and she was there in no time. One of the nurses led her back to the office. I still felt like I was going to have a panic attack at any moment.

“Does anyone want to tell me why I’m picking up Danielle when she has a perfectly good car out front?” Marissa stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips.

Luckily Dr. Reese answered for me. “I felt that in her current frame of mind, it was too dangerous for her to get behind the wheel of a motor vehicle.”

“Okay, but why is she freaked out?”

Both Dr. Reese and Marissa looked pointedly at me. I knew Dr. Reese wasn’t allowed to release medical information unless I gave her permission. I didn’t want to talk about it, but I was going to need a friend to lean on. The blood continued to thrum in my ears. Looking up at Marissa, I answered her question.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Congratulations! That’s so exciting,” she squealed. Then she took a look at my expression. “This is a good thing, why do you look like you’re about to lose it?”

“Tanner’s not ready to have kids.”

“Says who?”

“Says Tanner.”

“I bet he’ll change his mind when you tell him.”

“I can’t tell him yet.”

“What do you—” Marissa stopped and wrapped her arms around mine. “We can talk about this in the car. Right now, let me get you out of here. We’ll figure the rest out.”

I followed Marissa to her car, but my mind couldn’t focus, swirling with thoughts about having a baby. It was still hard to wrap my head around the fact that all of it was real and not a dream. Once she’d pulled out of the parking space.

“Now do you want to explain why you can’t tell him yet?”

“I need to find the right moment, which is not today because I need to wrap my head around it myself first, plus he’s still in the field for another day.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. If you tell him, you can work it out together and have his support.”

“But what if he doesn’t change his mind and really doesn’t want this baby, what am I supposed to do then?”

“Are you
insane?
That man loves you more than life itself. There is no way he wouldn’t want a child you made together.”

“Can we just drop it and let me deal with this in my own way?” I replied, frustration leaking into my tone.

“Fine, I’ll agree to drop it for today, but only because I know this is a huge thing to be dropped in your lap. Just remember, I’m going to keep bugging you about it until you do the right thing.”

The right thing? She was sure that included telling Tanner. Tanner, my husband, who just the other day admitted that he wasn’t ready to have kids. How was I supposed to sit down and tell him, especially with his deployment only about two weeks away? For now I was going to have to deal with it on my own, unless the perfect opportunity came up before he left. Otherwise I would tell him when he got back. He needed to be focused during his deployment. It was the only way to keep him safe and bring him back to me. There was no reason for him to spend the three months worried about me.

***

The next two weeks went by in the blink of an eye. As tired as I was, I had a hard time sleeping at night, my thoughts plague with ‘what if’ questions. Tanner still didn’t know I was pregnant, and Marissa made sure to call or stop by every day in her attempt to get me to change my mind.

Tanner had driven us over to the ceremony for deployment, with Marissa meeting us there. Tanner stopped to grab his bags out of the back of the car while Marissa dragged me a few steps away and whisper-yelled, “You still haven’t told him yet have you?”

“No. Now drop it.”

“You realize you won’t see again for three months, right?”

“I know. He doesn’t need another thing to worry about.”

“Bullshit. This is his child we are talking about here.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tanner approaching. “Drop it.”

She looked complete pissed off, but at least she didn’t tell him anything.

“Everything okay, girls?”

“Yeah,” I said softly.

He tucked me into his side. “We’ll back before you know it.”

If only he knew that was the least of my concerns at the moment. Like we did at all of the deployments, we kissed goodbye, then I watched them load the buses and leave. At that point it was all routine, and normally I got a little teary eyed.

Not this time. This time I was I full hysterics with Tanner doing his best to calm me down. He hugged me tight to him and whispered in my ear.

“Everything is going to be fine. There’s no reason to cry.”

Marissa continued to shoot me dirty looks, understanding exactly what was making me act completely irrational. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears.

“I know this the first deployment since our wedding, but that doesn’t mean that history will repeat itself,” he said, as he continued to try and offer me comfort.

I could see my own pain reflected in his eyes, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Colin and Greg tried to help, but it only made it worse. Eventually, it was time for them to leave and it looked like it was killing Tanner to let me go.

Marissa stepped up next to us. “I’ve got her and I’ll make sure she gets home safe.”

Tanner tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks, Marissa.”

“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine in a bit.”

Once the boys loaded the bus, Marissa and I made our way back to the car, without another word.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell him.”