Mistletoe Between Friends (10 page)

“The bath was supposed to be relaxing,” he reminded her.

“Well, that was before we had to deal with the tower of bubbles.”

He smiled as he rested his head against hers. “Hey, Lil?” he asked softly, tentatively. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Tonight at the table, after my dad made that toast, you got really quiet. What were you thinking about?”

Lily squirmed slightly before settling into his embrace again. “This is just such a weird position. I mean, what are we doing, Cam? This was supposed to be about dodging bad blind dates, and now we're…we're lovers and our parents are asking us about grandchildren.” She sighed. “I'm not used to anyone taking anything I do so seriously, and I can't believe that they chose this to get on board with.”

“People take you seriously,” he corrected. “It's just hard keeping up with you sometimes.”

“How do they know I'm not going to lose interest in you like I do with everything else? How do they know I'm not just going to walk away and leave you brokenhearted?”

Cam was worried about the same thing. Lily could just be passing the time with him and, after New Year's, be content to go back to the way things were. For all he knew, she was just making the best of a bad situation. His body tensed at the thought.

“Now you've gotten quiet,” she said, twisting around to look at his face. “What are you thinking right now?”

His gaze was serious as he met hers. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Going to lose interest in me and just walk away at the end of the month?”

“Isn't that what you wanted?” she asked hesitantly, not sure if she was ready for the answer.

Cam wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready for them to talk about the end when the present was so gloriously fine. Without a word, he turned her around so she was straddling his lap. Water flowed over the edge of the tub, and Lily gasped at the intimate contact. “I want you,” he said roughly, right before his mouth descended to devour hers. Water continued to slosh over the edge of the tub, but neither seemed to care.

* * *

“I'm not going to lie to you—I feel utterly ridiculous. What were they thinking?”

Lily couldn't help but giggle. The hunter-green silk boxers Cam was walking around in were completely out of character for him, and with every step he took, she could see and feel his discomfort. “I think you look cute,” she tried to say with a straight face but failed.

“Keep laughing, and you'll have to wait until tomorrow to open your presents.”

“It is tomorrow,” she reminded him.

“Well, then after brunch. How do you like that?” Hands on his hips, he faced Lily, who was sitting on the bed in the super-short, green silk slip nightie she had gotten. The color matched her eyes perfectly, and with her hair beautifully mussed up, she made a very erotic picture. If it were up to him, he'd forgo opening presents and spend his time unwrapping Lily from her silky garments.

“Okay, okay…no need to get all cranky,” she was saying, holding up her hands in surrender. “You know I don't want to wait until after brunch. I'll go crazy before then.” Scooting off the bed, Lily walked over to their tiny tree, picked up a stack of presents, and carried them back to the bed. She watched as Cam arched a brow at the pile.

“We're opening all of our gifts tonight? You don't want to do that with the family tomorrow?”

She shook her head. “I like that it's just the two of us. Do you mind?” There was no sarcasm, only concern.

In response, Cam gathered the rest of the gifts from under the tree and brought them to the bed. Once he was comfortable, or as comfortable as he was going to get in the ridiculous boxers, he handed Lily his first gift.

Her eyes lit up at the generic-sized box. “What is it? What is it? What is it?” she said as she tore at the paper. Lifting the lid and moving the tissue paper aside, she stared at the contents and smiled. “
One Hundred Careers for Creative People Looking to Change the World
,” she read aloud and then looked up at him and smiled. “I cannot even believe someone actually wrote a book about this.”

“It just screamed Lily to me,” he said, relieved when she laughed with him. “I figured I'd start with something light first.”

Lily's eyebrows shot up in surprise. “First? That sounds promising.” She looked at the pile in front of him, which had several more boxes, and her mind raced at what could possibly be in the rest. “Okay, my turn.” Looking through her stack, she chose a box and handed it to him.

Cam opened the box and smiled. “Ah, how did I miss getting one of these for myself?” he asked as he held the T-shirt up in front of him.

“See? It's an ‘I heart New York' shirt, but the heart is in the shape of Mickey Mouse! How cool is that?” She was bouncing on the bed with excitement. “Do you like it?”

“Absolutely. Thank you.” Leaning forward, he kissed her on the cheek and then picked another box from his pile and handed it to her. He laughed at how fast she tore through the wrapping. “You know, it took me a really long time to wrap this stuff. Maybe you can slow down and admire my handiwork for more than a tenth of a second.”

“What fun would that be?” she asked as she took the top off the box and gasped. “Oh, Cam,” she said with a dreamy sigh. Inside the box was a snow globe she had admired when they were in New York. It was a miniature of Times Square. “I love it.” Her eyes shone bright with tears. “Every time I look at it, I'm going to remember our time there.” Before she gave in and cried, Lily reached for the next box and handed it to Cam.

He smiled as he opened a hardcover copy of the latest bestseller by his favorite author. “Thank you for not mocking my refusal to switch over completely to an e-reader. As much as I see their appeal, there is still nothing like holding a book in your hands.”

When Cam handed Lily her tablet rather than another box, her brows furrowed. “What's up?”

“Turn it on,” he prompted and then sat back while she did and waited for her response.

“Oh. My. Gosh.” She looked up at him with a big grin. “Is this the super-deluxe solitaire app I'm seeing?”

He nodded. “That's right,” he said proudly. “I figured if I can't get you into a twelve-step program for your obsession, I might as well feed it.” He saw her getting ready to boot it up and placed a hand over the screen. “Seriously? You're going to play solitaire when there are still presents to unwrap?”

Grumbling about too many rules, Lily placed the tablet back on her nightstand and handed Cam his next gift. He smiled when he opened the new iPod. He was forever dropping his, and he thanked her for remembering he needed another.

Taking the next present from Cam's hand, Lily made a big production of shaking it and admiring his skill as a gift wrapper before slowly opening the paper—only tearing where there was tape so nothing got ripped. After five minutes of theatrics, Cam gave her the go-ahead to tear into it. There was an envelope inside the box, and Lily looked at him quizzically. “What in the world…” she began before opening the envelope. She gasped with giddy surprise when she saw it was five days of park passes to Disney World. “Oh my God, Cam!” she squealed and launched herself into his arms, toppling him over and almost off the bed. “When are we going? When are we going?”

Trying to right them on the bed, Cam sat up with Lily in his arms and laughed at her impatience. “They don't expire for a year, so you can go anytime you want.”

Lily's head tilted to the side. “You're going with me, right?”

He hadn't wanted to make that assumption because for all he knew, by the time she wanted to go, she might be dating somebody else. “We'll see,” he said lightly and then looked around her for his next gift.

“Well, now I feel silly because I wasn't nearly as extravagant as you,” she said, reaching for the last box. It was large and flat, and she felt a little embarrassed as she handed it to him.

“Hey,” he said softly, tucking a finger under her chin so she'd have to face him. “What's the matter?”

“You got me a Disney vacation, and well…I didn't think… I should have…”

Cam moved his finger from her chin to cover her lips, silencing her. “It wasn't a competition, Lily. I love everything you got for me…and whatever is in this giant box? I'm going to love it too.” Silently she sat back and watched as he unwrapped it and then held her breath as he studied it.

“It took me a little while to get it right,” she said quickly, “but once I figured out the software, I really had fun with it.”

He was speechless. In his hands was a large, framed collage of pictures of the two of them from their trip to New York. Lily had done them all in black and white because she knew he preferred that to color photos. Looking at the dozen or so pictures, Cam barely recognized himself. Gone was the geeky scientist who spent his days deciphering the secrets of the universe. In his place was a man who stood smiling from ear to ear, looking more relaxed than he ever had in his life.

Looking up at her, Cam saw her uncertainty, her hesitation. His throat was clogged with emotion. “It's the most perfect gift I've ever received,” he said hoarsely. “You outdid yourself, Lily.” He studied the photos again and then ran his hand along the frame before looking up at her. “Did you make the frame too?”

She nodded. “There was a Groupon deal for a woodworking class. I decided to try it.”

He smiled as his heart swelled with love for her. Of course there was a class. “You do beautiful woodwork.” Standing up, Cam took the framed picture to their dresser and placed it in front of the mirror so they could see it from the bed. “It's perfect.”

He turned back to the bed and collected all of the boxes and placed them back around their tree. Then he picked up all of the discarded wrapping paper and crammed it into the bathroom trash can before turning off all the lights in the room except for the twinkly ones. Walking back over to the tree, Cam reached behind it and pulled out one last gift, a small, rectangular box. His heart raced as he sat beside Lily and handed it to her.

She wasn't sure what to expect. Every year, they got each other several gifts, but this year there was more meaning behind them. In years past, they had done gag gifts and practical gifts, but these were more from the heart. Her hands shook as she unwrapped the small velvet box.

Nestled inside was a simple gold chain with two charms—a gold moon and a diamond star. Carefully lifting it from the box, she wordlessly handed it to Cam before turning and lifting her hair so he could put it on her. Once it was in place, Lily turned back to face him and then touched the delicate charms. “It's absolutely beautiful,” she said reverently.

“Remember all the nights when we'd sit out in the yard and look up at the sky?” he asked, and she nodded. “You would listen to me talk aimlessly about constellations and the names of the planets, but you were always fascinated with finding the brightest star after questioning the size of the moon. Do you remember that?” Again, Lily nodded. “When I saw this necklace, it reminded me of all of those nights. I wanted you to have this so you would remember them too.”

“I've never forgotten,” she whispered. “Thank you.” She continued to touch it and memorize the feel of it while Cam reached forward and cupped her face in his hands. Lily didn't question the move; she welcomed it.

Someday
, she thought,
we'll make love under the brightest star, and then
…
maybe then
…
he'll love me.

Tomorrow was New Year's Eve.

They were supposed to be planning their breakup.

Neither Cam nor Lily had broached the subject all week. Instead, they'd spent their days and nights living like lovers, much to the delight of their families. Lily had spent the morning out shopping with her mother and Angela. When they returned to the house, she went out in search of Cam.

“He went on a hike,” her father said. “He seemed pretty somber when he left. Did the two of you have a fight?”

Lily shook her head. No, if anything they had been getting along better than ever—and that was really saying something because they had always gotten along. “How long ago did he leave?”

“About an hour ago. I'm sure he'll be back soon. It's pretty cold out there today.”

He didn't need to tell her that. Unease settled in the pit of her stomach, and before she could doubt herself, Lily pulled her gloves out of her pocket and walked out on the back deck to see if she could spot Cam. For ten minutes she walked from one end of the large deck to the other, trying her best to find the proverbial needle in a haystack. Just when she was about to go back in the house, she spotted a splash of blue among the greens. Zipping her coat up higher and taking a fortifying breath, Lily headed down the deck steps and in the direction of where she had spotted Cam.

The cold air burned her lungs as she walked out into the lush greenery in hopes of being able to navigate it and find him. She wasn't feeling overly optimistic and was losing her bearings when she heard Cam say her name. Turning, she smiled with relief. “Hey, you. Dad said you went out hiking. I thought I'd try to find you.”

“Well, you did,” he said flatly.

“Cam? Is something wrong?” His tone worried her. Things had been going so well, and she'd thought they were both happy. She had no idea what had brought on this change of attitude. “Did something happen?”

“I got a call from work today,” he began, not looking directly at her. “I need to be back in the office on the second, and then they've scheduled me to do a lecture circuit in Canada and then in Europe. It's a three-month gig.”

“Oh.” Lily wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. The thought of not seeing Cam for three months was like a kick in the gut. They had never spent much time apart, not when Cam had gone to college, and he'd never taken such a long business trip. “Wow. That's a really long time.”

He nodded. “A colleague got the assignment, but she just had an emergency appendectomy and won't be able to travel. I was next on their list.”

“Don't you want to go?”

No, he didn't. Career-wise, it was the trip of a lifetime and would help him, but personally? It was the last thing he wanted to do. Being away for that long didn't bode well. Cam knew that if he went, his friend Lily would be right here waiting for him when he got back. But Lily, his pretend girlfriend and real lover? She would probably move on without him, and he hated that. Hated the fact that he had doubts and that they hadn't taken the time to talk about their future. They had been so focused on living one day at a time to get through the holidays that they'd never taken the time to stop pretending.

“Cam?” she prompted, doing her best to get a read on him.

“It's a great opportunity,” he said simply, emotionlessly.

“Then you should do it,” she said with equal emotion.

Cam's head snapped toward hers. “What about us?” he finally asked, needing the answer more than he needed his next breath.

Lily had always known how important Cam's career was to him. Ever since he was a little boy, Cam had been fascinated with the workings of the universe, and she had admired his determination. Deep in her heart, she wanted him to stay. She wanted to be selfish and tell him he could let this opportunity go because there would be other ones. But by the dark and serious look on his face, she didn't think he would agree.

Maybe that was why he was out here in the frigid cold, wandering aimlessly in the woods. Maybe he was trying to find a way for them to end their make-believe relationship so he would be free to follow his dream and achieve the level of success in his field he had always wanted.

Taking a breath she didn't feel she had, Lily stood a little taller, willed herself not to cry, and kept her voice steady. “We had planned to break up right after New Year's,” she said, forcing a confident edge to her voice. “So really, this plays perfectly into the grand scheme of things. We won't have to stage some fake fight. You'll leave for your trip, and then we can just phase out. You know, long-distance relationships and all that.”

Cam's whole body went rigid. He was furious. Had he been truly alone in his feelings all this time? Did he not know Lily at all? How could she have made love to him with such emotion and carefree abandon and then stand here and talk about ending their relationship as if it were meaningless? Was he that big of a fool, or had he only been seeing what he wanted to see? Was he so naive about relationships and the opposite sex that he hadn't realized this relationship was all one-sided?

“I suppose,” he said through clenched teeth.

Lily looked away and shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what else to do or say because she didn't think she could hold back the tears much longer. “Well then, that settles it. Are you planning on staying for the festivities, or do you need to leave sooner to go home and get everything in order before you have to fly out?”

Cam hadn't allowed himself to think that far ahead because, in his mind, he'd thought he would tell Lily, and she would ask him not to go, that she'd say she didn't want them to be apart. He shook his head with disgust. This was why he didn't do relationships. Clearly he had no clue about the opposite sex—even when it came to his best friend.

“I guess there's no point in hanging around. I have to close up my town house, stop the mail service, organize my notes, and all that.” He looked around at the scenery, the sky, his shoes—anything to keep him from looking at Lily. “No time like the present, I suppose.” And with that, he strode off.

Lily watched him go and stood perfectly still until she could no longer hear his footsteps crunching on the frozen ground. It was only then that she crumpled to the ground and cried for all she was worth. Her heart was breaking, and it hurt more than she'd ever thought possible.

How did this happen? How had she gone and fallen in love with her best friend? This wasn't supposed to be the way it went! Tears fell hard and fast until she couldn't see her hand in front of her face. Cam had gone away before, but never for long periods of time, and she'd never hurt like this, never ached as if a part of her were missing.

She wasn't sure she'd be able to survive it. Lily knew she was going to have to go back into the house at some point and return to an empty room, then look at the sad expressions on her family's faces. She was going to have to sleep alone in their bed and then drive home with her parents, back to her lonely life.

Without Cam.

Why hadn't she stopped him? Why couldn't she, for once, be selfish and go after what she wanted? It wasn't fair that she always stepped back and let the things that made her happy slip through her fingers. Over the years, she had left jobs she loved and lost touch with friends she enjoyed because of someone else's disapproval.

This time it was all on her. Cam wasn't leaving because of anyone else's issues, only hers. She wasn't confident or brave enough to tell him how she really felt. Lily was certain Cam must have been able to tell how she felt during their time together over the past six weeks. But in the end, at the ultimate moment of truth, he couldn't see it and Lily couldn't say it.

Some pair they made.

For all of their talk about how in tune they were with one another, at a pivotal point in their relationship, they had no idea what the other was even thinking or feeling. What did that say for them and their friendship?

She was freezing and her teeth were chattering, but Lily wasn't ready to go back into the house. She needed to wait a little longer to make certain Cam was packed and gone. He was very efficient when something needed to be done, and she had no doubt he'd gone straight to their room to collect his belongings. He'd want to be on the road before it got too late, to be back at his home before dark.

Her ears perked up when she heard footsteps approaching. Was it Cam? Was he coming back to tell her he wasn't leaving? That he didn't want to leave her for three long months because he loved her? “Lily?”

It was her sister.

Could she not catch a break today?

“Over here,” she murmured and turned to see Beth making her way through the trees. Lily didn't move from her spot on the ground and was surprised when her sister—her forever neat and tidy sister—sat on the cold ground beside her.

“So Cam said he's leaving,” Beth said, staring forward. Lily simply nodded. “He said he got this great opportunity to travel to Europe and Canada and whatnot, and it's supposed to be some big feather in his cap.”

“That's what he said,” Lily confirmed, hating having to have this discussion with anyone.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Beth asked as she finally faced her sister.

Lily shrugged. “It's something he's worked his whole life for. He'll leave, he'll travel, and I guess we'll see what happens after three months.”

Beth snorted with disgust. “Wow, I cannot believe you just said that.”

“What? Why?”

“The two of you are crazy about one another, and you're willing to just let him leave and get all wishy-washy about the future? What is wrong with you?” Beth demanded.

It was no use pretending anymore. What good had it done her? “Look, the truth is that Cam and I were never really dating. We made the whole thing up.”

Beth laughed out loud, and Lily's head snapped toward her. “What the hell's so funny?”

“You know, I was a little suspicious of the whole thing when you first announced your relationship. I mean, after all of these years, why now? But then I watched the two of you these past weeks, and you know what I think?”

“No,” Lily said with a weary sigh, wishing her sister would just get up and go away.

“I saw two people who were genuinely in love.”

Lily shook her head. “You're wrong. It was all an act.”

“Please,” Beth snorted. “I've seen your acting, and that, little sister, was no act. Not on your part and not on his. You're lying to yourself if you believe otherwise.”

Lily looked at her with sadness and confusion. “Aren't you listening? We did this to get Mom and Angela off our backs. We were tired of the endless stream of blind dates, so we thought we could have at least one peaceful holiday season if we pretended to be involved.”

“Were you just pretending?” Beth asked gently with a tone that was very unlike her usual self.

Shaking her head, Lily began to cry. “I don't know what happened. It wasn't supposed to be real, and yet…after that first kiss? It was like everything I had been searching for my whole life was finally right there in front of me.” She did her best to compose herself, wiping furiously at the tears streaming down her cold face. “But at the end of the day, Cam is this supersmart guy who has this amazing career that means more to him than anything. How could I possibly ask him to stay?”

“How could you possibly let him leave?” Beth took Lily's hand in hers and tugged to get her sister to look her way. “Most people aren't lucky enough to fall in love with their best friends. Normally you fall in love and then learn to be friends. You and Cam? You've always been perfect for one another. We all thought so. Watching the two of you together? It was like watching…a love story. Look, we've known the Greenes all of our lives, so I've known Cam as long as you have. He's always looked at you with longing, Lil, but lately? He watches you with love. You can't just let that go.”

“He didn't want to stay, Beth,” Lily said sadly. “Maybe he's a better actor than I am because when all was said and done, he was able to just walk away.”

* * *

Cam had packed with his usual efficiency, even as he kept one eye on the door. He kept expecting to see Lily come barreling through it to stop him, but she didn't. When he had no other choice, he loaded his belongings in his car and said his good-byes to everyone and drove away.

For the first twenty miles, he was numb. For the next sixty miles, he was indecisive about whether or not he had done the right thing. Indecision turned to sadness, and sadness gave way to anger. “Dammit!” he cursed, slamming his hand on the steering wheel. Why hadn't he fought more? Why didn't he demand that Lily tell him what she was feeling? He'd known her his whole life, so he knew that when Lily was faced with a difficult situation, she tended to retreat and say what she thought other people wanted her to say. How could he have forgotten that?

Thinking about the upcoming trip, Cam felt annoyance rather than excitement. He was damn good at what he did, and he had made a name for himself in his field. This was a great opportunity, but it wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, no matter how much his bosses tried to tell him that. And even if it was, what would it really do for him? He would have a higher title; he'd have the accolades and the fame, but when he returned home, what would he have?

Nothing.

Just like six weeks ago, he'd still have nothing. His work was thrilling and fulfilling, of that he was certain. But it wasn't everything. It didn't give him joy, it didn't make him smile, and it certainly didn't fill him with a sense of lightheartedness or make him laugh.

Only Lily did that.

And he had walked away.

For as successful as Cameron was, his career was fairly safe. He was studying the universe and there were infinite possibilities and new things to find, but he was part of a very small community where even if people didn't agree with his theories or his findings, the masses still did.