Mister Distraction (Distraction #2) (41 page)

The day went the same as the day before, minus Jessie being in my office when I arrived. I talked with my dad briefly, and I knew he was trying to gauge my sanity. I was calm, cool, and collected, but he was smart, and I knew he could see how miserable I truly was. I moped all day, carrying a fake smile. My sister, Jessie, met me for lunch. She apologized over and over for what she said the day before. Knowing how upset I was made her feel guilty, and I could tell she was trying to fix it in her head.

I left work and went to Jenny’s to check the horse. She kept calling my dad trying to get my attention. I had never wanted to deliver a horse this bad in my entire life. When it was finally over, I wouldn’t have to deal with Jenny anymore. My dad had other plans, so he couldn’t take my place. I thought about picking Katarina up and taking her with me, but I reminded myself I was giving her space.

I sat in my Jeep for a long time while looking at my phone, willing it to ring. It’s funny how life works. I was always the one in the relationship that couldn’t give a shit, but now Katarina held all the control, control I needed back and would have if she’d just call. I could seduce her over the phone. I was that good.

I hopped out of the Jeep. Bo jumped out, landing in a puddle and splashing me with mud. My whole backside was drenched, starting at my t-shirt and running all the way down my pants, and that was how my frickin’ day was going. “Fuck!” I yelled as I shook my head,
attempting to get the mud out from my hair. Bo sulked away and I was too grumpy to care. I whipped around aggressively, and Jenny was standing there.

“Hey.” She glanced at me, intimidated by my outburst. “I’ll get you a towel.” She disappeared, and I had the sudden urge to get in my Jeep and hit the gym. My agitation was at an all-time high, and I couldn’t stand even faking a smile. She ran back as I was removing my shirt and stuck her hand out to take it. I handed it to her and snatched the towel. I was in no mood for her ogling.

“I bought dinner for us,” she said while smiling, and I think I grunted as I stormed into the barn and tossed the muddy towel against a bundle of hay. I walked over to the horse, fishing through my work bag to grab a surgical cover. I put it on and moved around the horse. Jenny returned and sat behind me.

“I put your shirt in the washer. I went to town earlier and got us Taco Bell.” I laughed out loud and Jenny just stared at me. Katarina was everywhere, and even though she wasn’t right in front of me, I felt her presence all around me. She pulled out burritos and started eating, but there was no way I could eat. I completely lost my appetite.

“So, the horse is ready; she’s due any minute.” I slipped off the surgical cover and sat in the hay. Jenny finished her burrito and sat with me. I was reminded of a time when Jacy fell off her horse while running through the pond. I told Jenny the whole story, starting with how she begged me to watch her new obstacle course until the moment her horse jumped in the water, and she bounced off right into the pond. It was really funny. Her confidence deflated as she crawled out of the cold water. I was there to laugh with her about it. Jenny was laughing with tears in her eyes. To know Jacy, and how perfect everything was that she did, for her to make such a humbling mistake was funny.

I saw movement in the corner of my eyes and looked up to see Katarina. At first I thought I was dreaming, like I missed her so fucking much I was starting to see her everywhere, but as she moved closer, I jumped up. My legs took off in a hurry to intercept her path.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” She was really here, and she smelled so good.

“I brought you some cookies.”
She what?
I tried to read her, but she had her poker face on. It was a proper smile, but I already knew it was a mask.

“I thought maybe you were upset with me. You hung up yesterday.”
I was giving you space
. She started to come back to me as her eyes danced across my face, searching for something.

“Katarina?”
What is it? What is she looking for?

“I’m sorry,” she said, snapping out of her daze. “I’m okay, Jason. I just wanted to bring the cookies by, and now I’ll say goodbye. It looks like you’re busy, and I don’t know anything about horses. Plus, I am overdressed.” I glanced down at my body, unsure again what she was talking about.

Jenny was nudging me, and to get her to stop I grabbed the cookie she held out for me. I shoved it in my mouth and she stopped.
Thank God
. The nudging was driving me insane. I watched as Katarina’s face fell, and pure sadness washed over her.
What the fuck?

“Are you okay? Shit, Katarina, I don’t like the look on your face.” Jenny left my side, and I tossed the cookie she’d handed me aside and moved slowly toward my princess.

“I’m fine.” She wasn’t though. I could read it all over her beautiful face. There was heavy commotion behind me. Jenny was calling out for me. I glanced over my shoulder at the mare. It was happening right now. I was being pulled in two.

“Are you going home?” She looked torn between wanting to say something and wanting to run. I wasn’t sure what she thought was going on here, but she was mine, and I was only hers.

“You’re thinking. Please don’t.” I stepped closer, just inches from her, and she was my scared rabbit again, agile and ready to run and hide in her hole. I was scared to touch her or talk too loudly, but she was the only thing that mattered anymore, and I felt like I was taking huge steps back. I needed to be completely alone with her. Everything was perfect when we were alone. She was mine to hold and to love.

“Yes, Jason, I am going home.” I gave her my ‘that a girl’ smile and wrapped my arms around her. She smelled great. I buried my nose in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. I missed her so much. My
body didn’t want to let go, but my mind felt victorious for setting her free. She came back to me, just like the poem said. I heard Jenny yelling for me, her voice nervous and anxious, and I let Katarina go. I let her go to deliver the horse. She could stay and watch. I would show her why I loved horses so much. What a miracle it was to see them born. How beautiful these creatures were, just like her. They held grace and elegance without effort. But in the end, I wanted her to
want
to stay, without me asking.

It was all over in fifteen minutes. I stayed and helped Jenny clean everything, but left after about twenty minutes after that. I looked for Katarina, hoping she’d decided to stay, but she was gone. I passed William on the way out and shook his hand.

“Hey, William. I would love to chat, but I’ve got to take off.” He kept a tight hold of my hand.

“She’s not what I expected.” I gave him a ‘what the fuck are you talking about’ stare. “Katarina, she seems nice, and we had a nice little conversation…well, I talked mainly, and she listened.” His words echoed in my head, and the realization that Katarina was aware that I knew her since she was twelve and never said anything was all I could think about.

“What the fuck did you say to her? William?” I read everything I needed to know in his eyes. He was a fucking prick, and I didn’t stick around for an answer. “Did you enjoy the look of shock she gave you? Fuck, man, you couldn’t just keep your mouth shut?” I shouted as I walked to my Jeep. I didn’t give a shit who heard. William could turn lemons into drama skipping the lemonade part. I steered clear of him in high school because of that one thing; wherever he went drama with a capital D followed. He just fucked up everything I spent the last four months establishing and he acted like it was another day at the office.
What an ass!

I loaded Bo and left the Ronalds’ house, barreling down the country roads as fast as my Jeep would take us. I couldn’t think of anything else after imagining the heartbroken look on Katarina’s face. I wanted to beg her to stay, to order her. I was afraid she was leaving for good, and I was so relieved when she said she was going home. It warmed me,
and I calmed when she called it home. I had been surprised to see Bo when I left the barn. I knew how much she enjoyed Bo’s company, and I was shocked that she didn’t take him with her, and suddenly I could only think of her at home alone, thinking about whatever William told her. I called her multiple times while driving the country roads home, and there was no answer. Things were weird between us and I hated it. I knew she was scared when she saw Jenny stroll into the house, but she’d handled it like a pro. It actually made me believe we had a chance to be great together. She trusted me despite my horrible past with women. She knew that I loved her, and that no other woman could take her place for me. The day we spent with my family was one of the best of my life. I closed my eyes, remembering her laughter while she had moved around the house like she belonged there. I remembered watching her sitting with the kids, holding Jasmine, and exchanging recipes with my mom. It was the luckiest I had ever felt.

I pulled into the driveway up to the house and opened the garage door, expecting to see her car. I let out Bo and walked in, having a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Katarina!” I yelled, running through the house. I repeated her name while looking in every corner. I ran upstairs and noticed all her clothes were gone. I fell to my knees when I walked back towards my bed. I put my head in my hands.
She tricked me, deceived me. Fuck
. I stayed like that on my knees, while my brain ran over every conversation we didn’t have, words I wished I would have said. My world as I knew it was ending. It was Jacy’s death all over again, except this time, I gave my heart to Katarina. She had the whole heart. I would never recover from this and be…normal.
Fuck, I hate that word
.

I finally made it downstairs in search of something hard to drink. I looked around at my spotless kitchen. The only thing out of place was the note on the fridge.

I felt a headache emerge right between my eyes. I wanted to throw things, kick things. She was gone and all I had left of her was a stupid note. My mind swirled from sadness to anger as I grabbed my keys. I was on a mission to find her and have the talk we never had. I needed to tell her she was mine and she could never leave me. I got in the Jeep and showed up at her apartment 40 minutes later. I watched the gate, waiting for someone to leave so I could sneak in. I didn’t see her car anywhere, but knew this was the only place she would go. I got out of my car when I saw a couple park and get out carrying bags of groceries and bickering about the difference between generic and brand names. I walked in behind them. The man was so distracted by the arguing he actually held the door open for me while balancing his three bags in his arms. I waited patiently for them to disappear into a lower level apartment before sprinting to Katarina’s apartment.

“Katarina!” I banged my fist on the door. “Katarina, we need to talk. Please, if you are in there, open the door.” There was nothing but silence. I pounded louder and repeated my pleas over and over. I finally stopped when a small hand touched my back. I whipped around expecting to see her, but was disappointed to find Chelsea standing in front of me.

“Jason, are you okay? Why don’t you come over to my place and we can talk about it.” Her face was full of concern, and I watched her hand retreat from its spot on my arm when I growled at her.

I moved quickly after that, my own animalistic snarl startling me. I got back in the Jeep and just drove. I showed up in front of Dave’s house. He was the most levelheaded guy I knew—a guy who wouldn’t call me a dumbass. I made my way to the front door and took a deep breath before knocking. I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my arms out. Dave swung the door open wide when he saw me. I stepped in, and he made his way back over to the TV to pause it.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” He was talking as he opened a beer to hand to me. “You look like shit.” I quickly took the beer and gulped it down like I was in some sort of drinking competition. I slammed the empty bottle down, and I watched as his eyes grew big as he repeated the question. “What’s up?”

He cracked the bottle cap off another beer and handed it to me. I looked at him as I took the same approach to this drink, and when I finished, I think I saw admiration mixed with shock in his eyes. “Thirsty?” He smiled and grabbed another one. I waved it away, but he opened it and handed it to me anyways. I still couldn’t talk. I took a small sip, starting to feel the effects of the previous beers settling in my stomach. I turned towards the TV. I wasn’t ready to talk about her yet. It would make her absence seem too real.