Mistake: A Bad Boy Stepbrother Romance (7 page)

As those images flashed in my mind, I thought about what I'd seen of Krystal in just the short time I'd known her. I saw a woman who was not only beautiful, but intelligent, classy, and knew who she was and where she was going. She was going places, places someone like me could never take her, and to ruin that would be a crime greater than anything John Castelbon ever did to my mother.

I heard a soft shift in the sounds of Krystal tossing in bed, and the squeak of her bed frame took on a rhythmic cadence that I knew all too well. Inside I cursed myself as I listened, my cock hardening in my pants as I realized what she was doing. Krystal, the woman who was perfect in every way to me, was laying less than fifty feet away, in a dark room, touching her beautiful body. I clamped down on my lust with steely resolve, determined not to touch myself and spoil such a beautiful thing, but I couldn't stop my ears from listening as the pace increased, and then I heard something that tore deep into my soul, exploding something inside that I didn't know had ever existed. "J.....iaaannnn."

It had been soft, probably so soft she hadn't even realized she'd made the sound as her orgasm distracted her. But one of the things I am blessed with is very good hearing, and I could hear. I could hear the wet, slick sounds of her fingers doing what I wanted to do oh so badly, and the hitch in her breath as she froze, unable to take any more before her breath came out in a long, almost silent shudder. Still I sat on my bed, refusing to touch my cock despite what my body wanted, until I heard the soft snores coming from her room that told me she was asleep.

That one word. It told me everything. If I gave in to my inner devil, I could destroy her. I could destroy her mother Sandra, I could destroy her marriage to John Castelbon, I could destroy the man who was my father. Utter and complete victory could be mine. Vengeance could be mine.

But to do it, I'd be hurting an innocent woman, a beautiful work of art, the kind from the heavens that blessed humanity once a century. If hurting my mother made John Castelbon a criminal in my eyes, what would hurting Krystal Aksoy make me? If his crime would be like someone spray painting graffiti on a building, hurting Krystal would be like tearing the Mona Lisa to pieces and then pissing on the scraps.

But if I could resist my inner devil, then perhaps I could do more than just avoid hurting Krystal. There was a chance, maybe a fool's chance, but still a chance, for not just happiness, but perhaps redemption. If I could give myself fully to this woman, maybe when my end came and I had to stand before the seat of judgment, that one good thing could help cancel out the ticket to hell I'd bought with the past twenty years of my life.

Tears trickled down my face as I thought of what a selfish, worthless asshole I'd been, the people I'd hurt. I was my own prosecutor, judge, and jury as I convicted myself over and over for the next four hours, my hands shaking and my breath shuddering as I thought about how much I'd fucked up my life.

Just as the sky was starting to turn gray with the beginning of dawn, a new thought came to me. Something Kimberly had said to me on the phone, when I'd called her to ask about Krystal's whereabouts. "Offer her something more than money," I whispered to myself, looking out the window and into the early morning sky. There were still a few stars out there, and I thought for a second. "But what can I offer?"

"
S
o
, you have the security code for the front door, right?" I asked, shouldering my bag. I was only going to be gone three days, and didn't pack heavy, just a gym bag. Inside I had my work uniform from Alinea, a casual change of clothes, and some sleep clothes and my toiletries. I didn't plan on needing much else. I figured if I really needed, I'd go shopping in New York. I hadn't been there in a long time, and might have enjoyed some shopping.

"I've got the code, I've got the key you made me, it's right here," Julian said, patting his right pocket. "Relax, Krystal. Your apartment is still going to be here in one piece, and I promise, I'll stay out of trouble."

I rolled my eyes and looked askance at him. "You really have been keeping yourself out of trouble recently. What gives?"

"I don't know," Julian said. "Maybe you're rubbing off on me, teaching me to be a better person."

His answer touched me, and I had to shake my head. Since our late night video where we almost ended up kissing, things had definitely been different between us. There was a sort of invisible tension, something that both of us wanted to say but neither of us were willing to do. Julian showed it in little things, like waking up earlier and helping out around the apartment more. I hadn't had to clean a dish or wipe down a toilet in a week, although I didn't know what his own bathroom looked like. "Julian, you know, I was wrong about you," I finally said, biting my lip. "I thought you were a bad guy, and I guess you have been for a time in your life, but it seems you've turned a corner."

Julian shook his head sadly and looked down into my eyes. His blue eyes hid something, and I felt once again the crazy urge I'd had for most of the past week to reach up and kiss him. "I'm not there yet, Krystal," he said softly, "but I’m working on it.”

I was about to reply, when the look from his face cleared, and the wise guy that was Julian when he was trying to hide something showed up on his face again. "Now, get out of here before I have to drag you down to O'Hare myself. You miss your flight, and your boss is going to have a few uses for your knives. You did pack them, right?"

I shook my head. "No, the rules don't allow it. Both teams start with the exact same things hardware wise. It's okay, I know the brand of knife they're using, I've used them before. They're good knives, I can do my thing with them."

Julian smiled and looked towards the front door to my apartment. "Well, can I walk you down at least? I wanted to go shopping anyway, I'm kind of out of socks."

"What, you don't know how to use a laundry machine?" I joked. "I'm kidding, I know you've been carrying your weight and more, Julian. I appreciate it, too. But on a serious note, what did happen to your socks?"

"Well, I kind of only came with a few pairs," Julian replied. "I wasn't exactly thinking straight when I packed a bag and came to Chicago."

I laughed and patted him on the arm, my hand resting seemingly on its own on his ripped bicep. I reluctantly took it back after a moment, and looked up at him again. "You do whatever you want, Julian. I trust you, and if I didn't, you wouldn't have gotten a key. But sure, walk me down to the bus stop."

We left my apartment, Julian taking the time to double check his key and lock the door to my apartment. "Thanks. Actually, while you're gone, I was thinking of finding a gym. I mean, I've been doing bodyweight work and stuff, but I miss having a big fu.... a big pile of weights on my back or in my hands," he said, putting the key back into his pocket. I noticed again the change Julian was going through, disciplining himself and his use of foul language. "Any recommendations?"

"Julian I'm so busy most of the time I don't even have time to go to the gym," I admitted, "I do my little martial arts thing with Kim, but that's about it usually. But this is Chicago, there's gotta be your sort of place around here somewhere. You know, Kimberly might know a place, she dated a guy for a few weeks who was on the old Arena Football team the last year they were in town. Give her a call."

We reached the elevator and got inside. Julian pushed the button for the lobby, and turned back to me. "I don't know if that'd go well, Kim doesn't seem to like me very much."

"Actually, Kimberly likes you just fine. She's just very protective, and very bluntly spoken. She'll open up to you if you're as honest with her as you have been with me."

Julian thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "Okay. I'll give her a call. Worst thing that can happen is she hangs up on me."

"She didn't last time, and she won't next time either, Julian." The elevator doors opened, and we walked out of the lobby onto the city streets. We walked the two blocks to the bus stop, where I set my bag down. "Well, here we are. Where are you going to go shopping?"

Julian looked around and pointed uptown. "Figure I'd catch the El train. There's a shopping mall I wanted to check out. If you're right with talking to Kimberly, I can maybe give her a call and check out Edgewater or something too."

I nodded and set my bag down, shifting from side to side. "Okay. Well uhm, be careful on the El, all right? You're a pretty big guy, but this is Chicago."

There were so many things I wanted to say, like how much I didn't really want to go, I wanted to stay in town and spend more time with Julian. Part of me wanted to tell him about how he'd been a constant presence in my fantasies for almost a week, and how I'd almost cut the end of my index finger off at work while thinking about him. But most of me wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him close, and more importantly have him hold me. Instead, the bus approached, and I picked up my bag. "Well, here it is. I'll call you when I get to New York, okay?"

"That sounds good. Be careful, and cook your ass off, Krystal. Show them what Aksoy DNA means," Julian said intensely, looking into my eyes again. He stepped back, and I got on the bus, watching him out the window until the bus turned the corner, and I was on my way to the airport.

* * *

I
was rooted
to the spot as I watched Krystal disappear around the corner, and it took me a good two or three minutes after the bus left before I realized I was standing in the middle of the sidewalk like some sort of idiot. Shaking my head, I turned towards the El train station. I didn't really need to go shopping, honestly. I mean, yeah I had two pairs of socks, but I had spent so much of the time since coming to Chicago indoors that I was barefoot most of the time. Still, the idea of finding a gym to get a lift in was pretty attractive. Krystal's building had a fitness facility, but for a guy like me who counted his lifts in the number of big 45 pound plates I could put on the bar, it wasn't enough. I needed a place I could sling some heavy ass iron. First though, I needed to get some clothes.

Climbing on the El, I remembered a shopping mall in the North Side that Krystal had taken me to, it had a Dick's Sporting Goods. Not quite the same as ordering stuff online, but I needed a new belt since I'd left my weightlifting belt in L.A. like a total dumbass. Mostly I needed some shorts, a few t-shirts, the aforementioned socks, and a pair of Chuck Taylors. Nothing better for lifting than a pair of Chucks, in my opinion.

About two hours later I was decked out. The clerk, a skinny little guy who a month ago I would have tried to punk out, looked at my shoulders and chest in admiration. "Wow man, you getting ready to hit it hard, aren't you?"

"That obvious?" I asked, an unfamiliar smile coming to my face. "Yeah, planning on finding a new gym. New gym, new gear, know what I mean?"

"Yeah. Good luck," he said, bagging my purchases. "You need anything else?"

"Nah, I'm cool. Have a good one, dude."

Walking out into the mall, I realized that for the first time in years, I felt mostly at peace. Even with the situation with Krystal tearing inside my gut, I felt happier than I'd been since my teenage years. It was actually pretty fucking awesome, if you know what I mean. I pulled out my cell phone, and pulled up Kimberly's number. I had programmed it in from the memory on Krystal's home phone, but hadn't had a reason to call her yet.
Well, here goes nothing
.

The phone rang a few times, and just when I thought it was going to kick over to an answering machine, she picked up. "Hello Julian."

"Kimberly? How'd you know it was me?" I asked, surprised. "I mean, I've never called you from this phone before."

"Krystal gave me your number after the last time you called. I thought as long as you were in town, it'd be a good idea to have it." It was one of those surprising things about her that I was still getting used to about my stepsister and her best friend. They always seemed to be one step ahead in terms of planning and were always keeping me off guard. "What can I do for you? Did you lock yourself out of the apartment?"

"No, not yet," I said with a laugh. "Although I'm not surprised you'd expect that. No, I was talking with Krystal before she left for the airport, and she said you might be able to help me out. I'm looking for a place I can get a good weight training session in, and she said you used to date a football player. She thought you might know."

Kimberly was silent for a moment, which I had come to understand was her way of thinking. "Yeah. You looking to head North or South for the gym?"

"Doesn't matter to me. If it's a good place I don't really care."

"Okay, two places come to mind. First is over by Wrigley Field, about two or three blocks away, called Quads Gym. It's the place my ex-ex-ex-he-was-a-total-asshole-of-a-boyfriend went to. It's used by a famous old powerlifter, guy named Ed Coan. Down on West 35th is a place called Lance's Gym. Where are you right now?"

"I'm closer to Quads. I decided to do some shopping at Riverpoint Center. By the way, you want me to pick up anything for you? Krystal said you like getting over to Costco when you can."

I heard the thaw and surprise in Kimberly's voice as she replied. She still was suspicious of me, but seemed to be accepting me more, kind of. "Thanks, but no, I'm good. Just went by on Saturday. Anything else?"

"Nope, not right at the moment. Thanks Kimberly. Actually, one other thing. Uhm, I really don't know how to cook, and ordering another pizza for myself is kind of stupid. Now, I'm not sure how to ask this without it sounding like I'm hitting on you which I'm totally not, but would you maybe like to get some dinner tonight or something?"

Kimberly laughed and I could hear the total thaw in my ear. "Yeah, sure. As long as you're paying, of course. Krystal may not want your money, but I won't say no. I'll take all the free Chinese takeout I can get. You got my address?"

"Uh, no. I just know you told me Edgewater."

"I'll text you the street number. Probably best if you take a taxi, the bus and El connections are confusing unless you know what you're doing. Thanks, Julian."

I hung up my phone, and headed out. Kimberly was right. While the El and the bus service wasn't as bad as the Southern California systems, you had to be more experienced, or at least more patient, than I was to be able to get around well. As I looked for a taxi, I should have remembered Quads Gym. Ed Coan is one of the greatest powerlifters of all time, and one of those guys that everyone at Metroflex, my gym in Los Angeles, looked up to. "Yo, taxi!"