Mist Warrior (42 page)

“
Dear God
,
Branan, I am so sorry. I knew Stricklan
d was a monster
,
but never had I
—
”

Branan
shook his head and rose, crossing the room to pour two cups of wine.
“
I shouldna ha' told ye. No doubt yer father did not, for a lady shouldna' ken of these things.
”
He returned and handed one to her.

He took a long drink, trying to gather himself.

“
Edmund
,
I know
,
is loyal,
”
Catriona said.
“
He was devoted to Richard.
”

“
Aye,
”
Branan replied
,
grateful for her change in subject.
“
And he absolutely adores ye.
”

Her lips lifted slightly and he felt his own agony ease.

“
So we know the servants would prefer I be their lady.
”

“
Aye, you
must return, but I ken you
'll be safe there, and have the support of the household.
”

Abruptly
,
Catriona
downed the contents of her cup.
“
But you will not be there.
”

BrananB>
took her cup and refilled it, handing it back.
“
I canna, lass. We canna yet stand against Strickland in a full scale battle. The only reason why we are safe here
,
is Strickland hasna yet found Thistlewood. But he will soon, 'tis only a matter of time. Honestly, I prefer ye behind the safety of walls of Brackenburgh. It is much more defendable.
”

She looked up, her eyes liquid with unshed tears
,
but there was a desolation about her expression that nearly unraveled him.
“
Branan, you promised. You promised never to leave me again.
”

“
I am no leavin' ye, lass. Ye just be going to Brackenburgh for a time.
”

“
Without you.
”

Branan
sighed, his shoulders slumped.
“
Ye ken we canna risk it.
”

“
I don't care about the risk, Branan. It tore my heart
out when you left for Scotland
–and I felt that same agony on my wedding day. I don't want to say goodbye to you again.
”

“
Ye willna say goodbye. I will be here. We will send messages. I will have Jamie act as herald.
”

“
You don't understand, do you? You have no idea what that day did to me. You have no idea how much it hurt
t
o watch you ride away w
ith Duguald, never looking back
-
”

“
Lass, I do ken for that pain was
,
and still is
,
raw in my heart.
”

“
You never looked back! You never said goodbye. You just vanished into the mist that created you. How do I know you wil k knmond"l not vanish again?
”

Branan's heart twisted, he struggled to shove his emotions down so he could think, so he could find the words.

“
You gave me your word, Branan, and now you are sending me away.
”

“
Catriona
—
”

She waved him off and walked to the door.

“
Catriona,
”
he said, his voice sharper.

Her hand fell on the door and she stopped, her head bowed.

“
Catriona that night...I wanted to say goodbye to ye.
”
His voice thickened with remembered heartbreak. He could barely speak through the constriction of his throat.

She turned around and gazed up at him wide-eyed.

“
I wanted to promise ye I'd return.
”
Branan
struggled to steady himself, the pain of this memory much more agonizing than the one of Strickland's horror.
“
I dinna look back because I knew...if I did...I'd never leave ye.
”

Catriona
choked on a sob and Branan knew she wavered between darting out th
e door and remaining. S
he flung herself at him, sobbing terribly. Branan held her and felt his own tears escaping. It was only now that he realized how deeply that night had wounded them both.

“
I love ye, Catriona,
”
he whispered. He held his breath. Would she answer in kind?

She sobbed harder
,
but took a deep breath.
“
And I love you, Branan, that is why this hurts so much.
”

Suddenly
,
he knew what he had to do. Br khad/font>
gripped her left
h
and and sank to one knee before her. Her rejection not long ago remained raw in his heart and he prayed she would not reject him again.

“
Catriona, I shall ask a second time, will ye marry me?
”

So great was her shock, her tears stopped. She simply stared at him.

“
I understand why ye denied me afore.
”

She took a breath to speak
,
but his free hand moved and he held his fingers to her lips.

“
Hear me out first, lass. I ken it willna be wise to marry now, should Strickland hear rumor of it
,
he will attack Brackenburgh with all he has. But I ask for your promise to marry me with a tradition the Scots recognize as far more binding than a betrothal.
”

“
More binding?
”
Catriona
asked in confusion.

“
Tonight, before God, we shall have the priest perform a handfasting ceremony.
”

“
Handfasting?
”

“
Aye lass, 'tis a binding promise two lovers share
,
far greater than any contract written on parchment and more precious than any amount of coin or land.
”

Suddenly
,
she smiled through her tears.
“
Then a handfasting we shall have.
”

Grief

Catriona approached
Brackenburgh with
Greystoke
’s mercenary group as her
a personal guard
.
Branan's threat of death
, hung
over their heads if they failed in their duty. She was not allowed to go anywhere outside of Brackenburgh without armed escort.
She also discovered
Greystoke
an intelligent and highly educated young man who enjoyed good conversation.

He rode easily beside her, his men ranging around them in a loose diamond formation. “I have found,” he said
, when Catriona
asked him about the formation, “this grouping is very fluid and works extremely well for quick adjustments
,
depending on what challenges we face. With me riding beside you, I can take control of your horse if I need to.”

Catriona arched an eyebrow at him.

Greystoke
chuckled. “Although, I strongly doubt I will have to do that. But it also assists me in the fact attackers have a tendency to ignore me, believing I’m preoccupied with my ward. That opportunity allows me to relieve them of their heads before they realize.”

“An interesting strategy, Sir
Greystoke
.”

“Thank you, my lady.” He fell silent for a moment, his expression pensive.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…I fear you may think me too forward…but…” He drew a deep breath and sighed. “You know I was at Brackenburgh during Strickland’s attack
.”

She shivered. “Honestly, Sir
Greystoke
….”

“Nay,” he replied. “I know that was a terrible day for you
,
but I did see your archery skills first hand. My lady, you were quite impressive.”

She gave him a half-hearted smile.
“Thank you, Sir
Greystoke
.”

He smiled and nodded.

Br
ackenburgh loomed closer and Catriona
rubbed her temples.

“Are you feeling all right, my lady?”

“Nay,” she said tightly. “The closer I get, the worse my headache gets.”

“Aye. Please tell me if it becomes too much for you.”

Unfortunately, Catriona's
conversation with Greystoke
did not distract her for very long. Her heart ached leaving Branan behind. Last night, he had briefly toyed with the idea of disguising himself as a mercenary in order to oversee her arrival
,
but ultimately decided against it. Tears blurred her eyes. She felt utterly alone – more so than when she stood at the doors of the chapel and exchanged vows with Richard. But the handfasting ceremony with Branan last night had been beautiful and poignant. Needless to say
, Catriona
did not get much sleep, both of them knowing they would not see each other again for a long time.

Catriona's stomach curled into a sickening knot as she entered the bailey. Her head pounded mercilessly. She saw Edmund along with several servants
,
standing at the base of the stairs. Her hands suddenly felt clammy and sweaty. The realization that she knew no one
, struck her. Catriona
had no friends here...she had left everyone behind. She had only exchanged meaningless pleasantries with Edmund and a chamber maid.