Miss Match (26 page)

"Nick and Ruby are together!" I spread out my hands and do a
little dance. "It's a wonderful day!"

The bell over the door rings. Ruby walks in.

Maybe walk is too strong a word. Perhaps shuffle is a better verb
for how she enters. Her hair is fixed, her makeup is on, her clothes are
ironed, but she just looks ... slumped over. Like four of those bags
of brown sugar Matthew bought Marilla in Anne of Green Gables are
slung over her shoulders.

I stop the happy dance and give Hannah a concerned look before
turning back to Ruby, who is staring out the window.

"Um, Ruby?" I ask.

She jerks and turns, like she didn't know Hannah and I were here.
"Oh," she says in a dull voice. "Sorry. I didn't see you. Morning."

This may be bad to ask, but I'm going to ask anyway. "Why'd you
miss church yesterday? And how's Nick?"

Her bottom lip immediately relocates to between her teeth. She
gives a little shrug and shakes her head.

"Did something happen?" Hannah asks from behind me.

Ruby falls into one of the chairs in front of Hannah's desk, covering her face. "We went to dinner. Twice."

There is no excitement, no sense of happiness in her voice.

I'm starting to feel panicked worry slicing between the tendons in
my fingers. I sit beside her, my foot bouncing. "You didn't enjoy it?"

"Dinner?" Ruby questions, lifting her head. "Dinner was fine.
I had a salad the first night. Chicken Caesar. The dressing was too
anchovy, but it was fine. And I had barbecue the second night. With
a side of cole slaw and some biscuits."

No, Ruby, no, I meant the company, not the food." It is never a
good sign when a girl talking about her date starts with a rundown
of the meals.

Long sigh from her. "Oh."

Hannah's eyebrows are Velcroed together, a frown on her pretty
face. It's her turn to send me a worried look.

I look back at Ruby, who is staring at Studio Two's door with an
intensity I've never seen in someone staring at a plain wood door. I
follow her gaze, just to see if I'm missing something.

Nope. Door is still plain, light-colored wood.

"Ruby?" I ask.

"They were the most awkward dinners of my life!" she bursts,
raking her hands through her hair. "Every conversation felt stilted
and just ... just weird. By the end of the second date, I was wondering what on earth we had in common other than both of us being
human!" She stands, hands twisting over, under, around each other.
"I have to do something. I'm getting the studio ready."

She leaves, going into Studio Three. Hannah opens her mouth to
speak, but the door closes behind Ruby.

"She's not supposed to be in that studio today," Hannah
tells me.

I let my breath out. "This is not a good development, Hannah.
They're perfect for each other. I know that, you know that."

"Maybe they aren't, Laur. I mean, you just heard Ruby."

I give her a look. "Hannah. Have you not been paying any attention these last few weeks? There's obviously a definite like there. He
kissed her, for Pete's sake!"

"Seems kind of hopeless," Hannah says dolefully.

"Okay." I brush my hands together businesslike. "We need a plan
of action."

She stares at me blankly. "A plan of action?"

"For Nick and Ruby."

"What are you talking about?"

I stand and pull a notebook from my backpack. "You are a novice
at this, aren't you?"

I open to the first page in the book and uncap a pen from Hannah's desk.

"First, we must put them on outings that make them see the
deeper person sooner."

"Such as?"

"Oh, you know. White-water rafting, serving in homeless shel

tern, mountain climbing, or lawn projects."

Hannah frowns. "I can't see Ruby rafting or climbing a
mountain."

"Hey, I couldn't see Ruby smiling, and look at her now. I'll
research what's around here during my lunch break."

I write: Deeper dates=Deeper relationship.

"Next, we must push them to settle quickly. Mostly Nick at this
point. He needs to recognize that Ruby is the perfect one for him."

Hannah covers her eyes. "I don't want to know."

I chew on the pen cap. "Who do we know who's Nick's age, a
good actress, and sneaky?"

"I'm new in town, remember?"

"Well, keep an eye out."

Find the Other Woman.

"And finally, we need to convince both of them that they are
extremely lonely. Hannah, you'll have to figure out what kind of ring
Ruby wants. I'll coach Nick on proposal methods."

"Remind me why we're doing this?"

I put my pen down. "I'm leaving in three weeks for a month-long
fishing trip. I would like to know my two dear friends are going to be
happy before I leave."

Hannah gives me a Just-How-Dumb-Do-You-Think-I-Am?
look.

"And besides." I shrug. "It's fun."

"Aha!" she gloats. "There's the real reason. I need to make a note. Find a guy and marry him during the month of March. I'm scared to
death you'll turn and do this to me."

"Hey! That just gave me an idea."

"Lauren Holbrook!"

"Did you know there's not one river around here that has white-water
rafting in January?" I say this as I walk back into the lobby after photographing an older couple.

Hannah looks up at me from her desk, twirling a pen. "I did not
know that."

"And it's too cold to hike in the mountains right now?" I lean on her
desk. "And, I called the two homeless shelters in the area and neither one
of them needs any help for the next three months."

Hannah grins. "Is this the end of Ruby and Nick?" she says in an
announcer tone. "Tune in next week to find out!"

"Is she here, by the way?"

"Nope. She ran an errand."

Brandon comes in the door, humming. "I have that dumb song
from that stupid commercial stuck in my head," he says to me. He smiles
at Hannah.

"Hey, Brandon, you need to sign these checks." She starts scrambling through the papers clogging her desk.

"We need to find a dolphin they can save together," I say, staring out
at the big, chunky, perfectly proportioned snowflakes filtering down from a gorgeous gray sky. "Or a country they can protect together. Something
like that."

Hannah purses her lips as she thinks. "They could adopt a street."

Brandon scrawls on the last check. "What's going on?"

I roll my eyes at Hannah's suggestion. "Very funny. Don't we have
any orphans who need help? Or a marriage-minded mother who needs
to be satisfied?"

"Remind me on that last reference?"

"Pride and Prejudice."

"Oh right, right, right." She takes the checks from Brandon.
"You have the worst handwriting in the history of the free world," she
tells him.

"Thanks. What's going on?"

"Maybe an alien invasion they can fight against? Or a family of
ducks they can teach how to fly?" I scoot onto the desk.

"Nick and Ruby," Hannah explains to Brandon. "We're trying to
come up with ways they can get acquainted on a deeper level."

"A deeper level?" Brandon rubs his cheek. "Hey! They could dig to
China and save the fortune-cookie industry."

"Good-bye, Brandon," I say.

"Travel to the tropical rain forest and plant banana trees."

"Leave, Brandon."

Hannah's smile is ear to ear as she laughs. Fuel to the fire as far as
Brandon is concerned.

"Raise poodles and travel around the world doing dog shows together.
Toss grapes to seals in an Australian zoo."

"Seals don't eat grapes," I interrupt.

"Bake biscuits and hand them out to the orphans as they backpack
across Russia."

"Brandon!"

It is too late. He is rolling; Hannah's on the floor with laughter.

"Create a reality TV show about life as a doorbell installer."

I cover my face.

"Drown tadpoles as they institute a free community for flies of
every color."

Hannah snorts she laughs so hard. Brandon grins broadly. I heroically try not to smile.

"Save the pinky fingers! Find a cure for the fear of marshmallows!
Bring back the mullet!"

"Enough!" I screech, my sides heaving with mirth.

Brandon laughs. "Or, they could just go to a movie, get popcorn,
and head to Vizzini's afterward."

"Go to your office!" I command, wiping tears from my face.

"Fine." He fakes a pout, winks, and goes down the hall.

Hannah pushes herself off the floor. "Oh boy. Mascara is running
down my face, I'm sure." She swipes at her cheeks.

"You two are a pair." I pause. "What should we really do,
Hannah?"

She opens one of the desk drawers and pulls out a small compact.
"How about a blind date?"

"What are you talking about? They already know each other."

She wipes the mascara off her cheeks with a tissue. "Not Nick and
Ruby. Split them up. Help them realize they're meant for each other, or
whatever you said this morning."

I hold up a hand. "That would be skipping the first step, you
know."

"We could just swap those two."

I nod. "Okay. Deal. Who are we setting Nick up with?"

"I'll go. Set me up with him." There is a strange mixture of sheer evil
and plain delight gleaming in her eyes.

My brain denounces the plan.

My mouth, sadly, is faster. It's a problem I'm working on.

"Okay," my mouth says.

No! my brain screams.

"Good." She is rubbing her hands together like Scrooge contemplating the loss of Tiny Tim's supper. "Set it up for Wednesday before Bible
study. Then they'll see each other that night and realize the truth."

I'm wary. "What are you going to do to him, Hannah?"

She smiles wickedly. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes, actually, I would."

"Who are we sending with Ruby?" She employs the ask-anotherquestion technique.

I let her get away with it. "There's a scarcity of good men in this
town."

"Trust me. I've noticed."

"Gee, thanks." Brandon comes down the hall.

"You're welcome," I tell him.

"Hannah, I need the last few bank deposit slips we've made. What
are you guys talking about?"

"Who we can set Ruby up with," I say casually, tossing my hair over
my shoulder. It's actually fixed today, so this makes a nice effect.

Brandon frowns. "I thought we were setting her up with Nick."

"Not anymore. We decided Ruby wasn't pastor's wife material. She's
too ... prompt." Hannah waves her hand. "So we're back on the hunt."

"But ... you ... wait," Brandon stutters.

I blink innocently. "Yes, Brandon, dear?"

"I don't think this is such a good idea, girls."

"Why?" Hannah asks, just as innocent.

"Why?" Brandon parrots, incredulous. "Because they're perfect
together! Nick's crazy; Ruby's steady. Nick's late everywhere he goes; Ruby's always on time. Nick's a great teacher; Ruby's a great listener.
What is the matter with you two?"

I look at Hannah. "Sounds like a lot of confrontation."

"Absolutely. Bad for marriages."

"What?!"

"And," I continue to Hannah, calmly ignoring Brandon, "their kids
would be screwy with all that opposite attraction stuff going on."

She nods. "I agree. They'll end up with total lunatics for children."

I rub my chin. "I'm thinking Ruby needs someone more
intellectual."

"Right. Scientific, thoughtful, calculated."

"On time," I add.

"You two are nuts!" Brandon shrieks. "A guy like that would bore
Ruby to tears!"

"Maybe a calculus major," Hannah muses.

Brandon throws his hands in the air. "Fine, you know what? Fine. I
give up. You two want to ruin two people's lives, it's on your heads."

He stalks down the hall and slams his office door.

Hannah collapses into giggles. "Oh, Laurie. That was cruel."

"Yes. But he deserves it. Can I have a Milky Way?"

"Sure." She digs into the drawer and pulls out two. Hands me one.
"Okay, so, really. Who can we use for Ruby?"

"Needs to he someone we know and trust." I unwrap the candy bar.
"The point isn't to woo Ruby away from Nick." I rip off the wrapper
completely and take a caramel-filled bite. It's a scientific fact that massive
amounts of chocolate stimulate brain waves.

I'm pretty sure it's a fact, anyway.

I chew for a minute, thinking about the guys in the study. A few
of them would work perfectly at making Ruby run to Nick, but they'd
probably get hurt in the process.

Hannah chews thoughtfully for a minute. "Did you ever see How to
Lose a Guy in 10 Days?"

"Yes, see? That's exactly what we need. Someone to completely
destroy her faith in any male other than Nick."

Dr. America's face fills my brain. Hmm. "Hey, Hannah? What
about Stephen?"

Hannah's mouth drops. "Are you insane, Laur? Stephen's gorgeous.
We're going for someone pathetic, right?"

"Not necessarily. Stephen could play it up, I think." The more I consider this, the more excited I get. "Hannah, this will be great." I grin.
"Stephen can be trusted, and I think he'll have a blast. He acted in high
school. Plus, his conscience will be soothed because he'll know it will
make Nick happy, and he and Nick are good friends."

Hannah bites, chews, and then waves her hands excitedly. "This will
be hilarious!"

I finish the candy bar and then decide. "Excellent," I tell her.
"Wednesday night, then. Hand me the phone."

I call Stephen first.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Stephen. It's Laurie."

I hear a smile in his voice. "Hey, Laurie. How's it going?"

"Good. Very good. I have a proposal for you, and you're free to say
no, but it will be at the cost of one of your best friend's future happiness."
Better to load on the guilt now.

He starts laughing. "Oh no."

"Can you be a blind date for Ruby?"

"Ruby. Ruby Palmer? Isn't she Nick's girlfriend?"