Miss Match (17 page)

Friday night I open my Bible to Philippians 2 and I'm about to turn
back a few pages to Ephesians 4, where I left off, when the word purpose
catches my attention. I back up to verses 12 and 13. "Therefore, my dear
friends, as you have always obeyed-not only in my presence, but now
much more in my absence-continue to work out your salvation with
fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act
according to his good purpose."

Here's what I don't like: Working out. I figure I'm twenty-three and
my metabolism is plenty high without anything extra, so why mess with
a good thing?

So if I don't know how to work out physically, what on earth does it
mean to work out my salvation?

Saturday I wake up to my alarm clock and come very close to tears. My
day-one of my only days for sleeping in-is ruined.

All is lost.

Here's what I like: Overdramatizing.

I pludge down the stairs in my pajamas. Dad sits at the table, calmly
reading the newspaper.

He looks up. "Morning, Honey. Coffee is in the pot."

"Mmm."

"Lexi called. She and Nate will be over about eleven."

"Mmm."

"And I changed the cartridges in all the wall units. Kids, you
know."

I slump into the chair with my coffee. A few years ago, Dad got the
brilliant idea of getting plug-in air fresheners and replacing the liquid with
a home-based solution of air sanitizer, germ purifier, and a tart, tangy
scent I believe is Pine-Sol. I don't want to know. This is the reason people
walk into our house and get that weird wrinkle above their noses.

Four cups of coffee later, I'm on the fringe of waking up. Dad looks
at the clock over the oven. "Come on, Laurie-girl. We've got an hour and
a half to get things ready."

Not sure what we're getting ready. This is Lexi and Laney we're talking about. They only used to live here.

"I'll go fix my hair."

He nods, sipping his lemongrass tea.

Yucky.

As disgusting as lemongrass tea is when you're awake, it's triple gross
when you're half-asleep. The aroma wafting to your nose. Blegh.

I wonder if I can move my bedroom to the back corner of a
Starbucks.

As I blow my hair dry, I try working on my wide-eyed look of amazement. It will come into play:

1. When Laney announces Baby Number 4, christened "Lauren
Junior Knox"

2. When Ryan Palmer asks me out in front of Nick on Sunday

3. When Mr. Darcy proposes next week

It is a good thing I am not a spy. I don't possess the gift of
fine theater.

Lexi and Nate ring the doorbell at eleven sharp. That's Nate for you. Lexi
is like me, as in "Time? What's time?" Nate can be a drill sergeant.

I open the door and immediately get a huge hug from both of them
at the same time.

"Whoa!" I yell.

Lexi laughs and pulls back. "Honey, we've missed you." She bends
down to rub a ballistic Muffin's ears.

I grin at Nate. "Yeah, yeah. Sure. Lex, when it's my turn for a twoand-a-half-week honeymoon, I guarantee I won't miss you."

Nate grins at me. "Good girl."

Lexi is beautiful. Of the three of us, she got most of the looks. Laney's
pretty, but Lexi is gorgeous.

Nate's nice-looking, but it's more in the "Hi, I'm Nate, young and
upcoming stockbroker" look. Short brown hair parted precisely. Brown
eyes. He's taller than Lexi, but not by much. Dresses like a magazine
photographer could show up on the doorstep at any moment.

They walk over to greet Dad, and I'm closing the door when Laney
and Adam pull up in their Explorer.

Dorie races up the steps to give me a hug.

I squeeze her tight, smelling her watermelon-scented shampoo. "Hey
there, Favorite Niece."

"Hi," she exclaims. "Look, I grewed a whole fourth of an inch. Auntie
Lexi!" She spots my sister and runs for her.

Jess and Jack are next inside, one held by Adam and one held
by Brandon.

"Hey, Laurie," Adam greets me, kissing my cheek. "You look great."

"Thanks. Where's Laney?"

"Right behind us." Adam sets Jess down, who immediately grabs my
leg. "She's primping, or whatever women do."

He rolls his eyes. Adam and Brandon could be clones.

"Hiya." Brandon smiles, releasing Jack, who grabs my other leg.

Standing is becoming an issue.

"Hey, boys." I pat the top of their blond heads awkwardly. Circulation
slows in my legs.

Brandon watches them, grinning, and then grabs my arm. "Auntie
Lauren! Auntie Lauren!"

Laney walks in. "Okay, you can all play with Lauren later." She
chucks each of the three monkeys on the cheek.

Jack and Jess move on to Lexi's legs, and Brandon wraps an arm
around my shoulders. "Well, Nutsy, here we are at the first non-weddingrelated, official family lunch of the new year." He says this in broadcasterlike tones.

I shake my head at him. "Oh brother."

"Tell me, Lauren Holbrook, how do you feel about this situation?"
He shoves an invisible microphone in my face.

"Difficult to say." I give my best impersonation of Elizabeth Bennett.
"Will there be dessert involved?"

"Most definitely."

"And coffee?"

"A staple in this household," Brandon assures me.

""Then I feel wonderful."

All the members of the family above the age of seven sit in the living
room. I hesitate to use the word adults because that wouldn't include
Brandon or me. In this family, adulthood is not reached until after
matrimony.

I still hold a place of honor at the kids' table.

"So how was the honeymoon?" I ask.

Nate grins boyishly. "Great. Europe was gorgeous, but it paled in
comparison to my bride."

Lexi blushes.

My appetite packs up and leaves. Must change subject. "And what
about the European guys?" I look at Lexi.

She starts laughing convulsively. "I found you someone, Baby."

"Oh boy." Nate covers his face.

"Tell me, tell me," I beg.

Lexi brushes her hair out of her face. "Okay. So we're in London and
we stopped to get something to eat at this little sandwich shop. Hole in
the wall, really. And the waiter-"

"I like waiters," I interrupt.

"And the waiter was very good-looking," Lexi says, embellishing
with her voice. "I mean, very good-looking. Anyway, Nate hadn't gone
in with me because he wanted to take a picture of the place, so I decided
this was my chance to pick up someone for you, Honey."

Nate sighs.

"I went up to the counter and ordered two sandwiches and opened
my wallet and slid your picture out accidentally-"

"Accidentally, my foot," Nate says.

"And I asked him what he thought of you."

"You didn't." Brandon shakes his head.

"Yes, I did," Lexi says proudly. "And he said, `Yeah, she's pretty cute.'
She says this in a perfect Texan accent.

"Lex, that's not an English accent."

"Baby, I know. This guy had moved to London from Texas. I went
all the way to Europe to find you a husband, and all I got was some
American guy who can make a mean turkey sandwich."

I exhale dramatically. "I seem doomed to singleness, I guess."

Brandon shoots me a sideways look. "What about Ryan?"

Uh-oh.

Five heads turn and ten eyeballs stare. I shrink against the sofa. I
suddenly feel the rare and specific need for the security blanket I had
when I was five.

Brandon, meanwhile, grins in total ecstasy.

Here's what I am going to do: Kill Brandon Michael Knox, resurrect
him from the dead, and kill him again.

(Scene: Semi-darkness. The house is lit only in candlelight; the
family is gathered around a roaring fire.)

BRANDON: (with evil intent) What is this I hear about you and
Ryan, Laurie?

FAMILY: (in unison) Yes! Tell us, 0 Fair One!

LAUREN: (an innocent blush upon her cheeks) Why, whatever do
you mean?

BRANDON: (menacing) I think you know.

(Suddenly, the front door blows open with the force of ones hand and
the whistling wind. Snow gathers in the entry)

FAMILY: (in unison) Harken! Who comes at such an hour?

RYAN: (enters) I do!

(He goes to Laurie and kneels at her feet)

LAUREN: Do not fret, I can tie my own shoes.

(As he kneels, he pulls a velvet box from his pocket. A single solitaire set
in platinum sparkles)

LAUREN: (gasps)

RYAN: Laurie, my love, will you marry me?

LAUREN: Of course, my pet.

(Rapturous, the couple kisses)

FAMILY: (in unison) What a wondrous day! Declare a national
holiday!

Okay, so it isn't the most realistic, but anything would be better than
what does happen.

I blush furiously, Brandon grins cockily, Lexi and Laney look like a
pair of pleased pigeons, Nate and Adam exchange "hmm" glances, and
Dad's poor face crumples.

The clock in the living room chimes eleven thirty, and I have an
excuse. I take it.

"Oops, got to go get the barbecue."

I jump to my feet, shoot Brandon a withering look, grab my coat and
keys, and hightail it to the car.

Sad fact: I didn't make the track team at school. It was a devastating
blow.

Sadder fact: My sisters-one pregnant, I might add-beat me to
the car.

"That's okay, guys, I can get it. Go spend time with Dad."

"You know, Baby, half the fun of coming home is seeing you." Lexi
climbs in the passenger seat.

"Yeah and Adam is wanting to spend some guy time with Dad. This
is a good chance to let them," Laney voices from the backseat.

Mental note: Do not ever try to pull one over on Lexi and Laney. They
are too smart for me.

"Fine, fine," I grouse.

I barely have the key in the ignition before Lexi begins.

"So ..." She draws her voice out.

"So," I copy.

"Who is Ryan?"

"He is a guy," I answer.

"Is he cute?" Laney asks.

"Is he a Christian?" Lexi says.

"Is he nice?

"What's he like?"

"How did you meet him?"

"What color are his eyes?"

"WHOA!" I scream, throwing my hands up.

Lexi sends me a big-sister look. "Baby, keep your hands on the wheel.
Well?"

I sigh. A sister is wonderful, and I totally support the concept of one.
However, sisters, plural, are conniving, scheming, and can only be tolerated by the strong of heart.

Of course, they're also sweet, adorable, generous, and have never
done anything remotely mean or cruel to me.

"One question at a time." I must keep a straight face. I must play
the game.

"Is he cute?" Lexi asks this.

Tough question. "Yes." I am unsure. "In a way, I guess. He's cute
when he smiles."

Laney's turn. "Is he a Christian?"

"Yep."

"Okay, now that the essentials are out of the way," Lexi says. "Tell us
how you met him."

"He's Ruby's younger brother."

Laney frowns. "Ruby?"

"The woman I work with."

"Right," she says. "Oh hey, Adam mentioned something about Brandon hiring a secretary."

"Hannah. I like her-now. I didn't at first."

"Getting back to the point," Lexi interjects. "I didn't mean how did
you meet him, I meant how did you meet him."

I nod slowly. "Ah. He came to Bible study. He saw me sneaking
Oreos. Then he came by to see Ruby the next day and saw me prostrating
myself to a photograph."

Laney and Lexi have known me since I was conceived. They don't
even blink at this comment.

"So then, uh, I'm not sure what happened." I'm beginning to fumble
a bit here. Do I fabricate a romantic story to satisfy my sisters, or do I tell
the partial truth and have them think I'm an old fuddy-duddy?

I ponder this, and the car is silent.

"Well, I certainly am not sure what happened," Lexi finally exclaims.
"What happened?"

I lick my lips. "Uh, right, we went out to lunch and dinner with
a group-uh, me, Brandon, Hannah, Ruby, and Nick-and he was
really nice and then he came by the studio again and Ruby and Hannah
weren't around and he just uh-"