Misplaced Innocence (7 page)

Jared had pulled a fresh carton of juice, one he distinctly remembered crashing to and then across the kitchen floor the night before, from the refrigerator and was swallowing a handful of pills when Charisma made her first appearance of the morning, Scruffy following dutifully behind her.

“Morning,” Charisma said as she unlocked the front door and let Scruffy outside. “You sleep well?”

Jared swallowed the juice and Advil and studied Charisma as she watched Scruffy from the window, wrapping her arms tightly across her middle, seeming to disappear in the folds of a drab green t-shirt. A t-shirt Jared suspected had seen better days. Many better days. He shrugged. “As well as can be expected, I suppose.”

Charisma smiled at him, quite brightly considering what had happened the night before. At least, in Jared’s opinion. “I know it’s not very comfortable. I wish I had something better to offer. But, you know,” she shrugged, too, the gesture surprisingly delicate for all the material she was swathed in. “I wasn’t really expecting company.”
Ever,
she thought to herself. It seemed like this week was just full of surprises.

He didn’t offer much in the way of response, so Charisma continued to talk. “How’s your head feeling? Better this morning?”

When it became clear that Charisma was going to talk, regardless of whether or not Jared offered her any answers, he succumbed, and nodded. The throbbing that followed the small motion reminded Jared that he should be more careful. “As good as can be expected, I suppose.”

She flashed another overly bright smile in his direction. “Well, I’m glad to hear that. I think I remember unpacking some eggs last night, are you interested in breakfast?”

He was, or at least, that’s what he took the sudden rumble in his stomach to mean. “Sounds fine. Thanks”

It took only a few minutes for her to whip up some scrambled eggs and toast – an extra piece just for Scruffy – and then they were seated at the kitchen table, not talking, and eating.

“Well,” he finally said, when the sounds of silverware scraping against the plates had faded into nothing but the occasional sound of Charisma or Jared clearing their throat. “I guess I’ll head back into town, let Bill know you’re fine.” He eyed her warily. “I can pick up a new lock for you.”

“That would be wonderful.” Charisma didn’t need to feign any appreciation. It was genuine relief that swept through her, relief she hoped Jared didn’t recognize. That was, until she thought of all the time she’d have to spend alone, without a real lock, once Jared left for town. Of course, the presence of daylight and the lack of shadows made that horrible prospect slightly easier to swallow.
 

“Well, then,” Jared said with curiosity as he pushed back the chair, the legs scuffing across the scarred floors. “I’ll just be on my way. I won’t be gone long.” There was a pause and the implied, ‘please don’t hit me over the head again when I come back’ that hung in the air.
 

“Okay,” Charisma settled deeper into her kitchen chair, preparing herself for the wait ahead. But, as Jared started making his way to the door, she was overcome with a wave of fear, sweeping away whatever contentment she’d managed to hang on to. She leapt up from the chair so quickly it teetered precariously. “Are you sure you don’t need company?”

Jared got a wary look on his face. “No, no, I’ll be fine alone.”

Of course he would be fine alone. That wasn’t who Charisma was worried about. “Oh. Okay, then. I’ll be here.” She was going to add that she would leave the door unlocked, but she knew she wouldn’t. He looked at her an extra moment before turning towards the door.
 

Scruffy pushed her way back into the house as Jared left. It was quiet after he was gone, which did little to settle the sudden butterflies in her stomach. She thought about going out to get the mail, but really the thought had no appeal, so she threw it aside. It could wait. She wished it could wait forever, but the thought of a mailbox full of empty envelopes was almost more traumatizing than just sucking it up and retrieving whatever scraps of paper might be inside.

She would deal with that later. In the mean time, she fetched a book from her night table and curled up on the couch, Scruffy beside her. If she just sat there until Jared came back, and didn’t move, and didn’t look at the door, or start searching corners for imaginary threats, everything would be just fine. She was sure.

But, more than an hour later she wasn’t feeling so sure. The minutes seemed to drag by. She could hear the ticking of the clock that hung on the wall, the one that never told the right time, but always kept on ticking. She turned the pages of the book but didn’t process a single word she read. Scruffy snored beside her, but far from being the comforting, huffy, sound it usually was, it distracted Charisma and kept her looking at the clock.

And all it made her do was think about how she was alone, and how much worse it was going to be when she knew no one was coming back, and the nights would
 
seem endless and the darkness stretch out forever.

~*~

The throbbing in Jared’s head had subsided considerably once he picked up a bottle of Tylenol from Ross’ and downed a cup of coffee. If coffee couldn’t help him out of this situation, he wasn’t sure anything could.
 

“You never called last night.” Bill gave Jared an accusing look from behind the counter, not bothering to put down his paper. Jared tried not to dwell on the fact that Bill sounded an awful lot like an irritated girlfriend.

“Yeah, well things didn’t go quite as I had expected them to.”

“Oh, really?” One bushy eyebrow quirked upwards and Bill looked thoroughly pleased with himself. “I was hoping that might just be the case. I suspected as much when you didn’t call me and then when I tried your house you weren’t in.” Bill’s eyes narrowed and took on that twinkling look that meant he thought he had everything figured out.

I wish.
He almost said aloud. Instead, Jared settled on, “Oh cut it out, Bill. Nothing like that happened at all. I just had … a little accident.”

“Oh. I see. In the car?”

“No, with a pot.”

The eyebrow quirked back up, and Jared knew Bill was waiting for him to continue the story, to fill him in on what minimal sordid details there actually were.
 

Jared didn’t oblige. “Well, I just wanted to let you know everything was fine. Charisma said she’s fine, and she didn’t mean to worry you, but she hasn’t been feeling well,” at least that was the conclusion Jared had come to. After all, her behavior didn’t make any sense if she were feeling on top of her game. Maybe it was some sort of degenerative brain disease. That seemed plausible. What had at first seemed like a bizarre quirkiness had begun to trouble him, and he wondered if it were more serious. “Anyway, she says thanks for the groceries and she’ll be in a few days to say hi and buy the rest of what she needs.”

Bill harrumphed in Jared’s direction and returned to his paper, clearly disappointed with the very un-sordid details.
 

“I’ll let her know you said that,” Jared said as he walked out the door to the store, immediately regretting it because it gave away that he was going to see Charisma again, soon. He ignored Bill’s renewed attempts at conversation and walked toward the hardware store. Or, what passed for the hardware store in Carlton.

A bell rigged to the top of the door rang as he pushed his way into the store. Paint, tools, hoses… the walls were lined with shelves full of knick-knacks and do-it-yourself projects. Pretty much anything that anyone did in Carlton was a do-it-yourself project. He sifted through the different dead bolts and locks until he found something suitable for Charisma’s door.
 
He told himself it was the least he could do for her, since he had scared her so badly the night before, and tried to ignore the fact that she had seemed more or less capable of fending for herself when she had been swinging that pot around. It was easier for him to think about why he was lock shopping, if he felt he owed her something. He left it at that and purchased a myriad of locking devices. Just in case she had a preference. Now that she knew he was coming ahead of time, she could meet him at the door with anything.
 

Jared’s cell phone rang as he was driving back down the road toward Charisma’s. The little screen flashed with the Doorman’s number, and for the slightest moment Jared thought about not answering the phone. He held it in his hand while it rang, debating whether he should bother being concerned about the horses when he already knew there was nothing wrong with them. In the end, though, he answered the phone – just in case – and got roped into another unnecessary visit. He continued on past Charisma’s house and headed toward the Doorman farm.

Jenny was waiting by the mailbox, her jeans too tight for his own good and her pretty blonde hair loose and falling down her back in gentle waves. She had that expectant look on her face, her mouth pursed into a pink pout, and Jared took as much time as he possibly could to get out of the car without looking like he was intentionally stalling.

Unfortunately, Jenny didn’t seem to think anything of him sitting in the car rooting through the console looking for some imaginary object, and when he looked up she was right outside his driver-side window, the same expectant look on her face. Jared sighed and tried to smile. He might as well get the torture over now. It was going to have to happen eventually. He couldn’t hide in his car forever – even if he wanted to.

“Hey, Jenny,” he said as the car door swung open.
 

“Hi there, Jared.” She looked up at him, her blue eyes big and round and despite his best intentions, he had a hard time tearing his own eyes away. That was exactly what Bill had been talking about. Those big blue eyes just seemed to swallow him up, whether or not they had his permission. She slipped her hands in the pockets of her jeans and drew Jared’s eyes away from her face and to the flair of her hips, quite prominently displayed in the blue jeans. It seemed Jenny’s big blue eyes weren’t the only thing that could swallow a man up if he wasn’t careful. Or sometimes, even if he was.

Jared forced himself to swallow and look away, suddenly exceptionally interested in his wrist watch. “I was just down the road.” Jared had the sudden impulse to say he was with Charisma. At this point he was willing to say anything if it would mean he could stop coming to the farm every damn day and having to watch Jenny and find himself inexplicably studying the shape of her pout, the intensity of her eyes, the long legs and shapely curves tightly wrapped in cottons. But when he opened his mouth to say he’d been spending the day with Charisma, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead he settled on a weak, “what did you say the problem was?”

“Well, I don’t know, really.” She turned her eyes back on him, and if Jared weren’t completely convinced she didn’t have the mental capacity to do so, he would have suspected that this entire eye-mouth-body business was completely intentional. “The foal seems alright. Except he’s been squinting a lot.”

Jared had the sudden impulse to throw his hands up in the air. “Okay. Well, why don’t you take me to him, and we’ll see if we can find out what the problem is?”

“Sounds good to me,” she said, and started off, and Jared was forced to follow along behind her, studying the sway of her body as she moved. He was going to have to start ignoring the phone calls.

The dark foal was playing in the field with his mother, running around and then sidling up to the mare before returning to his romping. When he flopped down like an oversized dog Jared and Jenny made their way out into the middle of the field.
 

The mare nickered, a sound caught somewhere between greeting and warning, and the foal opened one large dark eye. By now, both horses were quite familiar with Jared. He had run his hands over every bone in the foal’s body and had assured the anxious mare with countless words. Now, they accepted his presence with little more than a grunt of acknowledgement.
 

“This is what I was talking about,” Jenny said as the foal’s eye slid closed again, heavy-lidded and barely open, long dark eyelashes spiking out. He looked like any healthy baby who’d just exhausted himself. Jared looked up toward the sun, squinting his own eyes and raising his hand to his forehead.
 

“Well, Jenny,” Jared said, not bothering to kneel beside the animal and disturb it any more than necessary. “I think he’s just fine. It’s kind of bright out here and I think he’s just resting.”

“You’re sure, now?” Jenny asked, beginning to worry her bottom lip so he could see glimpses of even, white teeth flash in the sunlight. “I would just hate for there to be something wrong with him. He’s so sweet.” For extra emphasis she scuffed the pasture with her boot, sending up a small puff of dust.

“I’d be willing to bet on it.” He wanted to smile and tell her she could call again if she was concerned about anything, like he would do for any good anxious owner, but he knew that Jenny would abuse the privilege, so he didn’t. And, he discovered, he got a perverse sort of pleasure out of it, too. “Don’t worry about the visit fee, it wasn’t really out of my way and I didn’t need to do anything for the horses.” He forced himself to smile. “I’ll think of it more as a pleasant interlude in my day.”

She smiled. A million-watt smile, and Jared knew he’d said the wrong thing. Despite his very best effort he’d somehow managed to make it sound like he liked coming here on these nonsense errands. She seemed to be about to speak again, so Jared quickly started to talk. He knew what was coming next, it would be all, ‘well, you’re already here … I just made a fresh pie … actually I made three, apple, blueberry, and pecan, because I know those are just your favorite and you never have any homemade cooking anymore since …’ and she would just let the words kind of drag on into nothing, her voice would be heavy and sweet and her eyes would be big and entrapping and the next thing he knew he would be saying yes before he could put two thoughts together. It had taken him a while, but he was finally catching on to how things worked. “I have another appointment so I’m going to have to be leaving; sorry I can’t stay.”